Chapter 4: Checkup

Summary: Percy scrambles to hide his injuries from Will.

Notes: Thanks for the hearts and bookmarks! I'm really glad people are liking this!

About the wait... I've gotten more ideas than I expected for this story and I've been trying to figure out how to plot out the next few chapters, but I hope to be posting a bit more frequently from here on out. I do post on AO3 (Archive of Our Own) a few days before posting here, so if anyone would rather read it there (and maybe leave some kudos?) you can find me under the same name, Onthishamsterwheel

PLEASE NOTE this chapter contains mentions of depersonalization and self-harm and depictions of needles in a medical setting.

Percy

The moment Will had left, Percy hurried to the bathroom in the corner of the room and slid the door closed. He frantically unwrapped his bandaged arm and held it under running water. Please, please work. As the blood slowly washed off, it revealed wounds that were deeper than he'd realized. Getting slammed against the wall hadn't helped. He waited a few seconds before realizing it was pointless. Dam it! He clenched his fist only to wince as the pieces of glass in his palm wedged their way farther inside.

He didn't know if it was from lack of sleep, the sight of his own blood, the punch to his gut, or the fear of Will finding out (clearly, a lot was going wrong), but before he knew it, he was vomiting into the toilet bowl. Not much came of it, but the effort made his eyes burn. His throat ached as he tried to hold back a sob.

Then there was a knock on the door, "Percy? Are you in there?"

Panic shot through him. Will! He tried to use his voice, I'll be out in a sec, but the words wouldn't come out. They would've been a lie anyway. Percy scrambled to hide his current state, but all he could do was curl up against the wall. Why did you do this?!

"Percy? Are you alright?" He paused. "Unless you say something, I'm coming in, ok?"

No! No, wait!

The door slid open.

Too late.

Percy tucked his arms tight against his chest. He saw soft yellow shoes out of the corner of his eye, but he wouldn't look up. Will must've noticed the blood in the sink, the drops on the floor, like a trail, leading straight to Percy. Will knelt down beside him.

"What happened?" Will asked softly. "Please, let me see." He reached for Percy's hands, but Percy flinched away.

"I-It's nothing," he mumbled.

Another wave of nausea hit him, and he lurched over the toilet. He gripped the rim to steady himself and vaguely registered Will taking in a sharp breath.

"Oh, Percy." He gently but firmly took his arm and unwrapped the rest of the bandages, revealing cuts all along his inner forearm. Percy was too tired and nauseous to resist.

"I need to get this fixed up."

Percy's heart was pounding in his chest. "Stop!" He said, trying to pull his arm away. The shower suddenly turned on. "I don't want to hurt you." His voice broke.

"I know, I know. It's okay," he soothed. "Here," he took Percy's other arm over his shoulder and pulled Percy to his feet. Percy tried his best to carry his own weight. He was heavier than Will, or at least he thought he was. These days that was becoming less and less certain. They stumbled a few steps over to the hospital bed.

"Sit down," Will said gently, propping him up against a pillow and pushing a trash can over.

His whole body was exhausted but tense as he watched Will wash his hands at the sink. His light teal scrubs contrasted with his golden hair, reminding Percy of clear, shallow water on a sunny day. Percy hadn't been in the water for weeks, not since they'd all gotten back. Not since...

"Why aren't you healing?" Will's question broke through Percy's thoughts. He'd placed some supplies on a mayo stand and was rolling it over.

"I don't know," he mumbled.

Will looked up, as if trying to gauge his honesty. He gave a slight nod, "Ok." He pulled on some blue latex gloves and placed Percy's arms over a blue sterile sheet.

He'd started handling some supplies when Percy noticed the metal tray was full. He'd brought extra, as if he'd known something else was wrong. The thought made Percy more nauseous, if that was even possible. If he'd sensed this, what else did Will know about? Percy looked down, vaguely remembering the illicit contents of his pockets.

Will sat down on a rolling stool to his left. He lifted a syringe and a vial off the metal tray.

"What is that?" Percy asked warily.

"Just an anesthetic," Will said as he filled the syringe.

Percy thought back to why he'd cut himself in the first place. He remembered his body feeling foreign, lacking sensation. He never wanted to feel like that again.

"Uh, you don't have to..." Percy started squirming. "I-I can try healing again." Even as he said it, he realized how unconvincing it sounded.

"How long since it's worked?" he asked, not really looking for an answer as he continued preparing his supplies. "Some of your cuts are really deep. I have to stitch them up." He sighed. "I'm sorry, but I have to give you this. It would hurt otherwise."

"Obviously I don't have a problem with pain." Percy quipped back, but he knew Will was right. All his senses were heightened, like his demigod abilities were in overdrive. He would definitely feel it if Will stitched him up like this. Still, Percy was angry, but not at Will. He was angry with himself for being in this situation. He was angry for not being able to save himself and Annabeth, for not being strong enough, for not being able to deal with the dreams.

He would've preferred the pain. I deserve it.

Percy sighed with defeat. "Do whatever you have to do. I just want to sleep."

"I know. I'm sorry."

He took a hold of Percy's arm and carefully injected the anesthetic in various spots along his cuts. Percy's heart was beating out of his chest and the pipes around the room sounded haunted. Oh, great! He probably thinks I'm scared of needles now.

"Take a deep breath. Try to relax," Will said calmly. He took Percy's other hand and did the same. When he finished, he pulled out the needle and slipped it into a red bin on the mayo stand.

"Do you have any other injuries I should know about?" Will lifted his other sleeve, checking for more cuts. He found nothing other than an SPQR tattoo with a line and a trident, the symbol of Neptune.

"No more cuts." Percy gulped, taking a moment to consider his next words.

"But there is something, right?"

"Probably a bruise starting on my torso," he said, not meeting his eyes.

"I can give you some nectar for that in a bit."

Percy nodded.

"You might want to look away," Will said, as he grabbed a pair of forceps and picked up a small curved needle and thread.

Percy wasn't exactly squeamish about getting stitches, but he figured watching it happen while not feeling anything might cause him to dissociate. At the very least, it wouldn't help matters. So, he turned away, towards the large curtained window looking out onto the strawberry fields. Beyond the fields, in the distance, were a row of tall pine trees. The sun was still low in the sky, but he could hear the faint clamor of campers.

For much of camp, the day was just starting, but for Percy, after several sleepless nights, not to mention the one he'd just had, sleep seemed favorable. He slowly relaxed into the pillows as Will hummed a soothing tune. Annabeth was right. These beds really are comfortable. Then it dawned on him… Annabeth. She'll be so disappointed. She'll see how broken I am, how weak. Those were Percy's last thoughts as he drifted off to sleep.

Notes: I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Feel free to leave comments! I'd love to hear if there's a chapter, scene, or phrase you liked or any theories about what's going on with poor Percy!