Day 4- Childhood Connection
Modern AU, OOC
There are friendships I miss, but not enough for me to reach out first. My reluctance to try and get back in touch with these people is mostly because what I miss most isn't the person but the memories, specific time points in my past. I don't want a new friendship with a changed old friend, I want to relieve over and over again the same few blissful events from the old friendship with a precise past-variation of said person. I want to go back to those moments, for they are instances in which I felt at peace, in which I felt true and pure happiness and freedom.
I miss walking down the riverbank holding in my hand the worn-out leather dog leash of an old Huskey that I don't even own while its owner walks alongside me, maybe a step or two in front, I miss the silence of the walks and the way in which I felt totally comfortable with simply watching the back of his head, I miss thinking that I was exactly where I was meant to be, that there was no place I'd rather be but next to him in utter silence.
I miss being over at his house laughing so hard at random things that weren't even meant to be funny. If I close my eyes, I can see this particular moment in which he asked me something while I was drinking and to me, that was the funniest thing ever so I sprayed him all over with soda and spit which led to another uncontrolled fit of giggles, I miss crying and my stomach hurting from laughing too much, I miss my throat being sore after spending a day with him indoors.
I miss laying down on an old uncomfortable sofa in his grandparent's basement, yet feeling like that was heaven. I miss looking up from that spot on the sofa and seeing his face right above me, giving me a cocky smirk that was meant to be cool but to me looked goofy. I miss his eyes that always lit up whenever we hung out, I miss his hand when he held mine after punching another kid for calling me names, I miss so many parts of him and our friendship, yet I do not miss him, I cannot. Despite all of the lovely moments in which he made me feel like I belonged, his person always brings with him unfortunate memories as well, memories dark enough to outweigh the good ones, dark enough to make it impossible for me to utter or even think his name.
He may represent my childhood, but he also is a constant reminder of my childhood's tragic end.
I try to change my train of thoughts; however, I know that whenever his image pops up into my brain, it likes to stick around for a while, almost like it's making up for lost time since I rarely think of him, I haven't thought of him for almost 2 years until today. I close my eyes and try to drift to sleep, I know I'll dream of him and the accident because I always do in these cases, I know I'll wake up shaken and distressed. I can feel my anxiety rising just thinking about it.
I'm so glad school is over, I liked Iruka sensei but I am excited about highs school, but before that, I'm more excited for the summer. Hmm, maybe I should have brought my backpack and out the bentos in it, I hope the pickles won't go bad because of the heath until I reach Sasuke's house. Should I run? But I'm wearing new sandals and I don't want to dirty them. I chose to wear my new sunflower dress too, mom bought it for me and I think it's pretty I wanted to show it to Sasuke, I hope he'll like it. I wonder what we'll do after we eat today? Does Dai need a walk? I think it's too hot for him to be out though, so he might be stuck in the house until they take him to Itachi's place. I hope dad lets me go with them this year to Itachi's. The summer there is much cooler because he lives in the middle of a forest. I'm scared of bugs but Sasuke will be there so that's ok. I wonder if he saw the last episode of Avatar, I like Zuko he reminds me of him at times, I maybe shouldn't say that, he might be embarrassed. Should I run after all? No, no I'm almost there, I hope he's awake I didn't think to call before I left, if he's not awake I can just wait and play with Dai/ I think that-
"HINATA!" I look up and Sasuke is running towards me, he's wearing fully black, I wonder if he's not dying from the sun. if he were a pickle, he would have surely gone bad.
"Hey, I was just coming over to yours," I say as he gets nearer, I didn't notice when he first called out to me, but he looks panicked and that makes me panic, I can't even ask what's the matter, because he takes hold of my arm and continues running. I let out a surprised noise when the bentos fall from my grip, yet Sasuke doesn't stop. All thoughts about running in my new sandals are out the window, I try to look at his face but he's two steps ahead of me and I can only see half of his face, but he looks…distressed. I call his name a few times but he ignores me.
"S-SASUKE….W-WHAT'S WRONG?" I shout trying to get his attention. I still get no answer and my focus is on his face so I don't see a small rock in the road and I trip over it, the belt on one of my sandals snaps and I fall and skin my knees and palm, my fall makes Sasuke stop for a moment but he continues running. I feel betrayed, he didn't help me up, he didn't ask if I was fine. The fall hurt and the damage done to my feelings make me cry, but Sasuke keeps running away and I want to know what happened. I get back up and continue running with one foot bare onto the hot asphalt. I try again to scream for him but he doesn't turn around at all.
My eyes are filled with tears and I can't see well, my knees and palm are bleeding and my foot hurts from the heath and all the rocks and bumps, that's when it happens. One moment I'm on the street running and the next I'm flying it's an odd sensation, but soon gravitation comes back and I'm on the ground. That's when it all starts to hurt and when I realize what had happened, I was hit by a car. The images turn blurry, I think I hear someone screaming, but all I see is Sasuke still running away, is that true? Is it a hallucination? I cannot tell. I close my eyes and moments later I open them again only to find myself in a hospital. Two weeks passed, thankfully all I got from the accident were a contusion, a broken arm and an injury on my left knee which they had already done surgery on while I was in a medication-induced coma.
The image changes, the dream is no longer in the first person, I am merely a spirit watching the action unfold. Time speeds up and days go by in an instant, people come and go, they talk to the small version of myself and wish her a smooth recovery, my whole class comes to see me once. In the myriad of people, there's one missing.
"Where's Sasuke?" my past self's meek voice seems to boom and echo with this question.
"He left the day of your accident, what a jerk" Neji mumbles. I can see the moment my little heart breaks and that's when the first person pov returns.
I feel the world collapsing onto me, the feeling of concern and betrayal had been equal when he left me on the ground after my fall, but now…I was drowning in betrayal. He left me alone on the street to die. He didn't care, I loved him and he didn't care.
That was the tragic ending of my first love, I cried for weeks to come. People said I changed after the accident. It wasn't the accident that changed me, it was him, he utterly destroyed all of me at the young age of 14.