A/N: Ok, everyone! Here we finally are! This is pretty much the reveal chapter. What exactly did Jordan do to make Angela leave him the way she did? Was she justified in doing it? Will she finally tell Jordan about Jay? How does he react? If you want to find out...read on! Thank you to my friend and awesome beta pattychase for all your help on this difficult emotionally loaded chapter. Thank you to everyone who is reading has favourited, subscribed and reviewed my little story. It means so much that there are still those of you out there who want to keep this little fandom going.

"We went on something round and round and Grandpa got sick and went barf!"

"Oh, did he now?" Angela smiled as she hoisted Jay out of the bath and bundled him into a towel. He wriggled away as she tried to rub his hair dry and careened naked and half wet down the hallway and into his room. Angela wrestled him onto his bed, blew a raspberry on his belly and somehow managed to get his squirming form into his pajamas.

"Mommy you have princess hair," Jay said, when she'd got him tucked in under his covers. He wrapped his chubby fist around a lock of Angela's hair and let it fall through his fingers. A warmth spread through Angela's chest; this sweetness made up for the dinner he'd refused to eat and the puddle of juice in the kitchen she still had to clean up. "Like Sleeping Beauty!" He grinned, then his little face turned serious. "I no have princess hair. I only have Jay-hair."

Angela laughed and stroked his thick brown hair. "I love your Jay-hair."

Jay giggled. "After Grandpa went barf, we had lots of popcorn! This many!" Jay said, spreading all ten of his fingers as wide as they could go. "Do you like popcorn, mommy?"

"Mmhm, yes I like popcorn."

She picked a couple of his books up off the floor, falling into their familiar routine. Only now something about it felt off. Angela picked at the edge of Jay's favourite book with her thumb. Her stomach rolled. She could still see the hurt and anger on Jordan's face as she'd walked out on him this morning. She shouldn't have slept with him. How could she have let that happen? God, she'd made such a mess of everything. Her heart sank. She would call or text him tomorrow and find out when he'd be back in New York. Then she'd meet up with him in a public place where there weren't any beds around for miles and tell him about his son.

"OK," she said, her attention back on Jay. "Bus book and the train book?"

"Mom, can we just read five stories?"

After Jay had gone to sleep Angela sat in front of her laptop at the small circular kitchen table. She frowned at the computer screen and sighed. She had her first interview with Julia Stein on Tuesday. She needed to get her head in the game but her mind kept drifting back to Jordan. Being with him again had felt so right and easy, as if they'd never been apart at all. But she had to remember the reason she'd left him in the first place.

Sometime after nine, she was still stuck on her first question. She stretched, made herself a cup of tea and sat back down at her computer. God, she'd been excited for weeks about this interview. Julia Stein was one of the first women filmmakers in Hollywood. A self-made bad-ass, though she'd been completely ignored by film history. Angela wanted to put her in the spotlight where she belonged.

A knock sounded and Angela sputtered mid-sip on her tea. She wasn't expecting anyone. It was probably someone after her neighbour and knocking on the wrong door. It wouldn't be the first time she'd had to give directions to the drunk ex-boyfriend. Her stomach dropped as she checked the peephole.

"W-what are you doing here?"

Jordan leant against the doorframe, all rumpled rock-star in his jeans and leather jacket, his thumb scratching at a splinter in the wood. He pushed himself up and dug his hands into his pockets, eyeing her from under the sweep of his brown hair. "Can I come in?"

"Um…" Angela hesitated.

"We need to talk." He crossed his arms and looked over her shoulder. "Is he here?"

Angela sucked in a breath. Was he talking about Jay? How could he possibly know about him?

"Who?"

"Who?" he repeated, his voice low and sharp like the edge of a knife. "The guy you're seeing." He shifted closer to her, taking up the whole doorway with his presence. Angela could smell the night on him: the crisp air and turning leaves of Fall, the faint scent of cigarettes and exhaust fumes. She wondered if he'd walked here.

Angela took an involuntary step back. "Oh.…I don't…I mean…no…. we don't live together."

Jordan pushed passed her. "So where is he then?"

Angela shut the door, her heart pounding its way up her throat. Jordan spun around in the half-lit living room, his eyes searching as if her lover might be hiding behind the couch or the bookshelf. Angela's breath caught as her eyes swept over all the photos of Jay. But Jordan didn't see them.

Her apartment wasn't much. Small but cozy. The entrance opened right into the living room, and to the left was the tidy kitchen. Her furniture was mostly second-hand, but Angela didn't mind. Turned out she had a knack for thrift stores and Craigslist. She was most proud of the cushy gray sectional couch she'd scored brand new at a fraction of the retail price. It was so comfortable that she'd fallen asleep on it more times than she could count. Behind it was a handmade wood toy chest she'd found at a flea market with Rickie. They'd had so much fun haggling it down to what she'd eventually paid for it but not as much fun dragging it up the stairs to her apartment because the elevators hadn't been working that day.

Jordan turned. The light from the kitchen played across half his features, casting the rest in dark shadows. Tension rippled across his shoulders and jaw, his hands clenched into fists as he stood there, statue still. Angela exhaled shakily and fiddled with the hem of her short kimono silk robe.

"He's away on business."

Jordan edged towards her. His movements measured like he was a wolf after a rabbit. She didn't even realize she'd been moving away from him until she felt the door against her back. He placed a hand above her head and leaned down, his face inches from hers. His soap and the smell of the liquor on his breath invaded her senses. Her breathing picked up and her heart raced. She opened her mouth to speak but he kissed her. Hard. There was nothing gentle or tender about this kiss. He pressed his body against hers, his arms wrapping around her waist. He kissed her like his life depended on it. He kissed her like he was a soldier headed off for war. Her mind clouded over, her knees grew weak, all her nerve endings came alive with the recent memories of his touch and, for a split-second, she returned his kiss. Brian…Jay. Her eyes snapped open. She broke the kiss.

"Tell me you don't feel that," he whispered.

"It's not that simple."

"It can be," he said softly, cupping her face, "if you'd let it." His thumb brushed across her cheek "I know you, Ange. You wouldn't have slept with me if you still don't feel something. Whoever it is that you're seeing, just…end it. Be with me."

Angela pushed him away. Anger burned through her. "So, you think that you can just tell me what to do and I'm gonna do it?" She side-stepped him and made her way into the kitchen, picking up her half-finished cup of tea and tipping the rest down the sink. "That I'm gonna drop everything, rearrange my whole life…because we had sex?" She crossed her arms and raised her chin in defiance. "No, Jordan. I won't."

Jordan's jaw clenched as he followed her. "That's not what I'm doing, and you know it wasn't just sex." His eyes narrowed. "Unless…what?" His voice turned cold. "You had to fuck me one last time to be sure that I'm not what you wanted or that he is what you want is that it?" He spat the word he out like it was a curse.

The kitchen had been a mistake. With one hand on the door of the fridge and the other on the opposite counter, Jordan had her closed in.

"No, it wasn't like that." She shook her head. "But I shouldn't have slept with you. It was wrong."

Jordan exhaled sharply and scrubbed a hand over his face. "Is that why you left me? Did you leave me for who you're with?"

The colour drained from her face. Her mind spun. "What?!"

"You heard me." The coldness of his voice frosted over.

"I wasn't with him when I left you! I wasn't with anyone!" Angela exclaimed. Her cheeks flushed red with anger. God, he was infuriating. She'd left him because he'd messed up and now he was trying to turn it around.

Jordan absorbed her anger like it was nothing. "So why did you leave me, Angela?"

Angela stared at him. "You should know why I left you, Jordan."

Jordan huffed a breath out. "All I know is that I wanted to get back together. I asked you to come with me." He pointed his finger at her. "You spent the night with me and when I woke up, you were gone. All you told me was that I wasn't who you thought I was!"

"You weren't!"

"What the fuck does that even mean?" He gripped the edge of the kitchen counter, his knuckles white. "Jesus Christ, Ange! We were together for seven years! We almost had a baby together and that's what you do to me? That's how you leave me? You just cut me off and just disappear?!"

Angela slumped against the wall, her energy momentarily drained from her body. She'd been in her third year at NYU and five months pregnant when she'd lost their baby. Residue were making their way through Asia and headed for Australia. So much about it hadn't been ideal; the baby threw all their future plans up into the air. But they'd wanted it, they'd both wanted it. Then it was gone.

"Do you have any fucken idea what that did to me?" He swallowed hard and looked away from her, his handsome features drawn tight.

"What I did to you?" The words scratched the back of her throat. She peeled herself off the wall, closed the distance between them and shoved her fingers into his chest. "What about what you did, Jordan?!"

She'd told him not to come home. She'd told him she was okay. She had her mom and her friends. She'd known what that tour meant for the band.

Jordan's eyes clouded over with confusion. "What are you talking about?"

Despite telling him she was okay, the pain of it had been too much though. It was as if part of her had died along with their baby. Angela couldn't look at Jordan without feeling the grief of her miscarriage. She'd broken up with him shortly after he'd come home. Jordan had fought her hard on it. He'd pleaded with her not to, had promised her that they'd get through it together. They'd made love and she'd broken down crying. Though she still loved him, something had shifted. She'd felt so disconnected from him. Maybe on some level she'd always known what had happened on that tour. Always known what kinda guy he was.

"I trusted you. God, I was so in love with you. I wanted our baby so much." She pushed him again and he grabbed her by the wrists and held her against him.

"I wanted our baby too. More than anything. And I always loved you, Angela. You know it's still there. We owe it to ourselves to try—" he pleaded.

She struggled away from him and retreated back to the other end of the small kitchen. "I know what you did," she said, her voice stretching thin. "I know about that girl at the motel!"

Jordan froze. He took a deep pained breath and squeezed his eyes shut. When he opened them again, they were filled with guilt and remorse.

She pressed a hand to her mouth to stifle a sob. Seeing it confirmed on his face was like being transported back to the night she'd found out. She wanted to scream and yell at him. She wanted to hit him. Instead, she took several steadying breaths and swallowed hard past the lump in her throat.

"You cheated on me when I needed you the most. Not even a month after we lost the baby." Her chin trembled. "I was dying on the inside. I put your needs above mine and that's what you were doing?!"

"Angela…it's not what you think…" He stepped towards her, but she recoiled away and held her hands up as if to shield herself.

"I don't want to hear any more lies, Jordan. I saw the photos. That night you wanted to get back together. That night you'd asked me to put my whole world on hold and follow you and the band around the world. I almost did. I was gonna say no to New York. I took out your laptop to email them and…" She lifted her hand up and let it drop back to her side. "There they were."

All neatly laid out and timestamped, under the heading 'PAY UP OR ELSE'. It had been a year since they'd broken up, but it was never really goodbye…not for them. They were like two satellites orbiting the same planet. Slowly the hellos, and smiles had turned into more until their friends had just assumed they were together anyway. But until that night in Jordan's hotel room they hadn't decided they were.

Jordan stepped back. "You were gonna what? Angela, I'm not lying." He moved towards her again then stopped. "I didn't sleep with her."

"You were kissing her." The words sounded calm, disaffected. As if they were coming out of someone else's mouth. "You were all over her and you were in the motel room all night." She folded her arms and her eyes cut to him. "How stupid do you think I am?"

Jordan sunk against the counter and exhaled shakily. He studied the ceiling as he said, "I—I didn't know how to deal with what happened. It fucken killed me that I couldn't protect you and our baby. I was wasted out of my mind, and she came on to me and—god…" He pressed the heels of his hands to his temples and squeezed his eyes shut. "I fucked up, Ange…but I didn't sleep with her. I couldn't do it. I ended up passing out." His eyes were filled with anguish as they met hers. "I didn't want her. I wanted you."

"You wanted me, but you went there with her. That doesn't even make sense! And don't you dare use being wasted as an excuse for what you did! The fact that you did that…I can't even…" Angela shook her head. "You know what? It doesn't even matter. I don't believe you."

"I know it's not an excuse but it's the truth! I could feel you pulling away from me and I felt so guilty for not just coming home. I keep thinking that if I did then maybe things would have turned out different." He lowered his head in defeat and rubbed his hand across his brow. "I'm so sorry, Ange. Fuck…I really am. I never—"

"How many times did you do it?"

"What?"

"How many other women were there?"

"There were no other women. I swear."

Jordan held her eye, he looked so sincere, but she'd never know. She'd be lying if she said that she'd never been insecure when he was away from her for weeks and even months at a time. She wasn't stupid. She knew that women threw themselves at him. Constantly. They always had even before he was famous. But her love and trust for him had always won out. If she hadn't found out, would he ever have told her? Probably not. How could she ever trust him again?

"I was gonna change my whole life for you but I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad I didn't fall for your bullshit. I'm glad I found out who you really were," she clenched her fists, "and I promised myself that I'd never let you do that to me ever again."

Again, he moved towards her and again she backed away from him. "Don't, Jordan. It doesn't matter anymore. Whether you slept with her or not," her breath hitched in her throat, "you still cheated on me. You still lied to me. I can't trust you." Her vision blurred with tears as she turned away from him.

"Angela," Jordan said, turning her around. "I made a mistake and I've regretted it ever since. I didn't tell you because I was so scared of losing you. I loved you so much," he squeezed her shoulder and pushed her hair out of her face, "and I still do." With that he pulled her close and kissed her. The urge to fight him off built up in her chest and then dissolved as she felt the truth of his words in that kiss. He pressed her back up against the wall. Up against Jay's preschool art of spiky fish and rainbow suns and the photos she'd tacked up of her and Rickie and Jay's first Christmas sitting on Santa's lap where he looked like a cranky old man.

A dam burst open and released all the pain and sadness she'd buried deep down inside. She'd had to in order to move on. She'd needed to be strong for her and Jay. But there'd been moments when she'd missed him so much it felt like she was gonna die. Her heart shattered in her chest and sobs wracked her body. She broke the kiss and tried to push him away, but he held her firm. Held her close as she sobbed into his chest, soaking his shirt with her tears. He whispered that he was sorry. That he'd never meant to hurt her. That he'd do anything to take it back.

She had to tell him about Jay. He was seconds away from finding out on his own anyway.

She breathed him in and let the comfort of his touch, his words wash over her before pulling away. Her breath caught as she took in the tears running down his face. In all their years together she'd never seen Jordan cry. She'd seen him close to it, but he'd never let them fall, at least not in front of her. Despite herself, despite everything, she reached up and wiped the tears away from his face. "Jordan…" she whispered.

He cupped her face. "Angela...can't we just start over…can't we just try? I'll do anything to make this work. Please." He rested his forehead on hers and brushed his lips against hers. She closed her eyes, her hands encircling his wrists and returned his kiss, allowing herself a moment to feel his love, to let it surround her. If only it were that easy. But she knew it wasn't. He'd hurt her with his betrayal, but he wasn't the only one guilty of making a mistake that he wished he could undo. She was too. She had to tell him. She had to tell him now. She broke the kiss and met his eyes. God, they were so blue, so gentle. She'd always loved his eyes. Her heart fluttered as his fingers brushed over her skin and a million tender memories flashed in her mind.

In that moment, she remembered exactly how much she had loved him and what it had felt like.

"Hey, what's this?" Jordan's hand left her face and skimmed over the puckered paint-filled paper of Jay's artwork. "God…you didn't tell me." His eyes moved over the myriad of photos and landed on one when her sister came to visit last year. "When did Dani have a kid?" He smiled. "That's insane. She's still that thirteen-year-old dressing up as Sporty Spice in my head."

"Jordan…it's not…" Angela swallowed.

"Wow. You guys must be close. Look at all this." Now that he'd noticed the paintings and the photos on the wall, he also found them on the fridge and framed above the small kitchen table. He turned away from Angela to inspect them closer. "What's his name?"

Angela's heart dropped into her stomach as she said, "Jay. His name's Jay. And he's not…" She took a long, deep breath. "He's not Danielle's. He…he's mine."

It felt like an age passed between the words leaving her mouth and Jordan turning back towards her. She watched as the light died in his vivid blue eyes and his shoulders went slack. A thousand emotions and questions crossed over his face but he couldn't open his mouth to give voice to any of them.

"The last night we were together…I—I got pregnant."

Angela's nails cut into her palms. Far away a siren could be heard, the honking and the swishing of cars passing on the street below, the muffled sound of the TV from her next-door neighbour.

"You had my baby?" His voice was a ragged whisper. The devastation on his face made her want to curl into a ball. He moved away from her, his chest heaving as he pressed his palms to his forehead and squeezed his eyes shut. "You had my son, and you didn't tell me? You kept him from me."

He opened his eyes and it was like he wasn't there anymore. Angela shrank back from his anger. "Why didn't you tell me? You didn't think that I had a right to know?!"

"I—I'm sorry. I should have told you. I wanted to call you so many times…" Blood pounded in her ears and fresh tears burned in her eyes. "I just couldn't and the more time passed, the harder it got and then you left for your world tour and—"

Jordan threw his arms wide. "YOU'RE SORRY?! I must have called you a million times and not only did you not return one single phone call…You go and fucken change your number?! That really sounds like you were trying to call me! How am I supposed to feel?" he demanded, closing the small space between them and forcing her to look up at him. "Huh? Tell me!"

"You're right," she whispered as hot tears fell from her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Jordan…I was wrong. I shouldn't have kept you from him."

And it was the truth. She'd been so badly hurt by him, so closed off. But he was still that boy who'd struggled to read, who'd trusted her with his vulnerabilities. Her first love; her first everything. He was still Jordan. And even though she'd hated him for what he did, she should've told him.

"Mommy?" a small, sleepy voice interrupted. Angela gasped and wiped the tears from her face. Jordan pressed his fist to his forehead as she pushed past him and towards her son…their son.

Jordan kept his eyes fixed on the wall in front of him. On the blobs and smears of colours. But he didn't see them. He didn't see anything. He was a freshly struck tuning fork. An invisible hurricane of vibrations all thrumming towards the child behind him.

"Jay…what are you doing up, honey?" She ducked down and scooped him up, settling him on her hip as he buried his little face into her chest.

"Mommy," Jay peeked out of the safety of Angela's robe at Jordan, "who that?"

Angela took a deep breath. "Jay, this is…um…Mommy's friend…Jordan." Her voice shook as Jordan's eyes met hers. He was frozen, a stunned look on his face. She swallowed hard and looked back at Jay, stroking his head.

Jordan cleared his throat and made his way over to them as Angela set Jay back on the ground. He bent down on one knee, bringing him to eye level with his son. The boy's face swam in front of him and Jordan blinked hard to get his eyes to focus.

"Hi Jay, it's nice to meet you." His voice felt too loud in his mouth. "I'm Jordan." There was no mistaking it. It was like he was looking at himself when he was Jay's age. Jay shied away and gripped Angela's leg.

"Sorry," Angela whispered, hoisting him back onto her hip, "he's not great with new people." She winced as soon as she said it and Jordan's throat closed up. He felt like he couldn't breathe. "Um…I have to put him back to bed," Angela said, cautioning a look at him. "You can stay if you want...or you can go."

Jay's little arms tightened around Angela's neck. He raised his head and stole a curious glance at Jordan before giving him a shy smile. Jordan's heart clenched and his stomach dropped. He mustered a smile in return and Jay giggled softly. He heard Angela ask him what was so funny, but they disappeared before Jordan could hear Jay's response.

Jordan stumbled into the living room where he was met with more pictures scattered on the walls, mantle and side tables. Angela with Rickie, Corey and Brian. But most of them were of Angela and Jay. In a park when Jay was a baby, another at the zoo. There were birthday pictures of him at one, two and three years old. Some were of Patty and Graham with Jay. He picked up a framed picture of what he assumed was Angela at her baby shower. She smiled radiantly at the camera, glowing as she held her baby bump, surrounded by gifts. She looked beautiful. Her friends were in the picture with her. His heart ached. He should have been there for that, but she hadn't let him. All around him were documented moments of his son's life that he had missed. Missed because he hadn't even known of his existence. Because the girl who he had loved since high school had given birth to his child and hadn't even thought enough of him to bother letting him know.

Hurt and anger burned through him. The walls closed in around him. His breaths came out in shallow puffs, his heart hammered in his chest, and he could feel the bile rising in his throat. Oh god, he was gonna be sick. His hands shook as he put the picture down on the mantle with the others.

When Angela came back out Jordan was gone.

A/N: Ok peeps so what did ya all think? How are we feeling? Was Angela justified in leaving Jordan the way she did? Do you believe what he told Angela? Does it even really matter whether he slept with the girl or not or is the fact that he even did that, under those circumstances, bad enough? What about Jordan's reaction to the reveal about Jay and then actually seeing him? Are we on Team A or Team J on this? I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts on this. Please review.