Chapter 10: Mending

While the surgeon went to attend to Lavellan, Solas found his way back to the training yard and met Blackwall by the stables. The bearded man eyed him warily. "Is she doing better?"

"Yes," Solas said, though he wondered if the answer may be different after the examination.

Blackwall nodded, crossing his arms. "And are you doing better?" he asked rather pointedly.

"I came to apologize for my earlier behavior. It was-"

"Something you needed to work out of your system. We've all been there. Now," he turned around and grabbed something off the table. Handing it to Solas, he said, "Might as well give it to her. We both know that one's special."

Solas stared down at the small wooden replica of Fen'Harel he had spent so long carving and painting. Now it seemed foolish to give her a token of a wolf after what she'd been through.

"Don't go overthinking it," Blackwall said, noting his pause. "Just give it to her. I'm sure she'll be happy to know you were thinking of her all this time."

Solas thanked him and returned to check on her.

She was sitting up in bed, legs drawn up to her chest, looking out the far window, making it difficult to read the room as he entered. The small bottle was no longer on the bedside table.

"Are you alright?" he asked gently, sitting at the edge of the bed.

"I didn't drink the bottle, if that's what you're really asking. It wasn't necessary." She sounded strangely despondent as she said it.

Solas said nothing, processing the information. He thought he would feel relief, but it was little comfort to know the circumstances, as terrible as they were, could have been worse. No words of comfort sprang to mind in light of this and he set the small carving on the bed beside her. "I brought you something."

She turned and gave him a curious look as she picked it up in her hands. "Did you make this for me?" A smile slid onto her face and he felt his heart rise out of his stomach. "You made me my own little statue of Fen'Harel? Oh, and with the flowers too."

"Do you like it?"

"Of course I do. He's beautiful. It looks just like the one from the ruins."

"I wasn't sure if it would upset you."

"Upset me?"

"Because of what you experienced with the wolves."

"Oh, no. They're not the same at all. Besides, I pity the poor creatures. Possessed and infected with red lyrium? Possibly controlled by blood magic too? I'm not sure what they did to those poor beasts. It reminds me of the people Corypheus twisted for his own gains. No, I do not begrudge the wolves. Although…" she frowned. "Perhaps I have invoked the Dread Wolf's wrath. I ought to leave an offering next time I come across a statue."

"I think the Venatori are to blame for the ambush."

She gave him a pointed look, but could not remove the smile from her face as she inspected the small figure. "I love the flowers. And the bushy tail. I love him. Thank you," she said, taking his hand. "I will keep him right here," she said, placing the small carving on the bedside table.

"To watch over you like a guard dog?" he teased, recalling her comments from the ruins.

She grinned and shook her head. "No, to remind me of you."

His heart warmed at the loving look she gave him and he bent down to kiss her again. "Is there anything else I can do for you, vhenan?"

She motioned for him to come closer and rested her head in his lap and asked him to tell her a story.

"As you wish, ma vhenan," he said, brushing aside her hair as she closed her eyes.

And she settled in, exhausted from recovery and all the day had wrung from her.

"Once, when I was a much younger man, my eldest brother and I went fishing at a nearby lake..."

Her eyes flashed open and she looked up at him, but his gaze was far away and she did not wish to break the spell. She listened with great care as he recounted the memory, for he shared few of them with her or anyone else.

"It was a particularly hot day and the sun burned brightly overhead as we sat up in a willow tree above the water. I remember my brother, whom I looked up to a good deal, as younger brothers often do, was particularly quiet that day. At the time I assumed it was pre-wedding nerves setting in, as he was due to be married in a few days. I teased him about this and was rewarded with a swift shove that knocked me down into the water below." He smiled to himself and shook his head, remembering his youthful folly with chagrin. "When I resurfaced he was laughing uproariously at me, soaked to the bone, and told me that one day I would understand what it was like to lose my sense over a woman. And that on that day he would sit back and laugh. Well, I was young and bullheaded, and lived up to my name, so I swore to my brother that I would never let a mere woman rob me of my reason and good sense like he had. He laughed a good deal then and I pulled him down into the water in retaliation. We did not catch any more fish that day, but I remember my brother telling me that he would not let me live it down. He married his betrothed and the two were very happy together. Before I left on my journeys, he warned me to watch out. When I asked him what it was I should watch out for, he told me 'for her.' At the time I laughed, but now I wonder if he foresaw something I could not fathom. I wonder if he knew I would find you." His fingers traced her face and she smiled softly up at him.

"And do I rob you of all sense?"

He gave a small chuckle. "Most definitely. I am nothing but a senseless fool, devoid of all reason and rational thought when I am with you."

"Well, I'm sorry to hear it. I would never have thought I had such an effect on our fearless, wise, and level-headed apostate. You are always so composed." She reached up and grazed his cheek.

Solas thought back to earlier in the training yard when he had lost all restraint and any semblance of composure in his warpath of destruction. "Not always," he admitted, kissing her palm.

"Does that mean you were wrought with worry when you heard I'd been captured?"

"Worry does not begin to cover the depth of what I felt. Panic, fear, terror: they only scratch the surface. It was then that I truly understood what my brother meant. The whole time I was without reason or sense. In my mind there was only one thought: you. To get to you, to save you, to give all that I had, to pay any cost, all for you. There was nothing else that mattered."

She took his hand and rested it over her heart. "I remember your voice. During the ritual. I felt the anchor pull me into the sky and I heard your voice call to me: 'vhenan!' I thought I had imagined it, but I heard it through the pain and it gave me a moment of clarity where I remembered who I was, that there was still a bit of me left in the sea of agony, and I clung to it. It's difficult to explain, but I was in so much pain that that's all there was of me at the time. Just the scream and the fight, like battling a tidal wave in the middle of the ocean. There was nothing more I could do but fight to stay alive. I didn't think I would survive," she admitted.

He opened her hand, revealing the green glow in the center of her palm. "They were arrogant and foolish. They did not know the truth. The same truth I could not foresee in my own plans: you," he said, interlacing his fingers with hers, feeling the warmth of the anchor as it pulsed between their hands. "You and your indomitable will. That strength of spirit and determination to overcome all before you. They underestimated your own power."

"Indomitable will?" she teased, recalling an early moment of flirtation when he said something similar.

"Indeed. I believe it is safe to call it such. You have certainly proven it time and again."

She shook her head and closed her eyes. "You are too kind. And I am too tired and ill to thank you properly. Will you forgive me if I rest my indomitable will for a time?"

He brushed her hair and pulled the sheet up to cover her. "Of course, vhenan. Sleep well."

She closed her eyes and nestled against his hip. "Solas?"

"Yes, vhenan?"

"Will you still be here when I wake?"

"Yes, vhenan."

He stayed and watched over her. The withdrawal came in waves, though she was able to drink the tinctures of "muddy bog water" and some small amounts of food down better than before. She was weak and weary though, despite her smiles and pleasant conversations with visitors as they came to check on her.

When Sera was well enough herself, she brought raspberry muffins and made crass jokes the entire time, in addition to covering the entire bed with crumbs.

True to his word, Cullen stopped by with a ginger tea and some reports on their progress helping the miners recover in Emprise Du Lion to lift her spirits.

Cassandra brought her a stack of books, including several of Varric's Sword and Shield series.

Blackwall would visit and stay with Solas, whittling in silence, while she slept during the days, and when she'd wake he would show her the progress he had made on the carving he was working on. That always put a smile on her face.

After a few days, she was well enough to play a round of Wicked Grace with many of them around her bedside. Varric regaled them with stories from Kirkwall and teased Cullen mercilessly over the last time they had played together, causing the poor man to blush fiercely as he tried to retain his dignity.

Josephine repeatedly brought new vases of fresh flowers into the room each time she visited until every surface bore a bouquet.

Cole did not visit often, though several odd items would be left outside the door, including: seven small white daisies, four feathers from different birds, thirteen acorns, and a brass telescope. When Solas asked what the items meant, she shrugged and told him she didn't know. However, every time he brought up the new strange item, she smiled and laughed as they tried to guess at Cole's reasoning for each. No matter how strange the item, she kept every one in a box in her dresser, like a trove of secret treasures.

On the seventh day after her return someone else returned as well. Vivienne, upon hearing the news, stormed into the room as if the Inquisitor's kidnapping was a personal affront to her person. "How dare you!" she began, striding over to Lavellan and crossing her arms. "You send me away as part of some boring delegation and I come back to find out you've been taken prisoner and everyone else got to go off and rescue you and play the hero."

Lavellan set aside her bowl of soup and smoothed the sheets around her lap.

"Well, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Vivienne, I thoroughly apologize for being ambushed and kidnapped and leaving you out of the rescue plan. I had no part in planning it, but we both know that if you had been there in everyone else's stead the whole ordeal would have taken five minutes and resulted in significantly less bloodshed."

A smile curled on Vivienne's lip. "Quite right, darling. Bear that in mind next time you decide to walk into a trap."

"I most certainly will," Lavellan chuckled.

Vivienne delivered her report about the negotiations, which were favorable, and then retired to refresh herself after her travels.

"Don't misunderstand, I appreciate Vivienne as a fellow mage and valued colleague, but if it were between her and the wolves, I might choose the wolves again."

Solas made no comment, but couldn't help but silently agree. There was little on which he and Madame de Fer saw eye to eye.

Their friends visited regularly until she was nearly recovered. Which was likely for the best, considering she was growing more restless with the surgeon's orders to remain in bed and limit her exercise, and time spent with her companions seemed to relieve some of the strain.

"Ugh, I can't take this anymore. Solas, please, save me from this torment," she bemoaned, shutting her book and leaning back into the pillows in an irritable fashion.

"How shall I save you, vhenan?" he asked, setting down his own book after carefully marking his page and coming over to settle on the bed beside her. He smiled down at her and she smiled back, a sly grin on her face.

"Take me for a walk?"

The surgeon says you have to wait two more days. We don't want you to fall down the stairs, do we?"

"That's not fair. I can still walk. I just get tired," she grumbled.

"How about I draw you a warm bath? One with the lavender oil to help soothe your mind?"

She smirked at him. "Fine. But I'll need help changing out of these clothes. Otherwise it might count as exercise."

He was all too happy to oblige, and once he had heated the bath to the right temperature and added the lavender oil, he offered her his hand and helped her over to the tub. With practiced hands he slipped the silk straps from her shoulders and removed the rest of her clothing with a slow, gentle touch.

She stepped into the bath and sank down into the warm water with a sigh, letting her arms drape over the edge. "I'm going to have to send for a new one," she said, running her finger over the edge. "One large enough for two people. I think that would be quite pleasant, don't you agree?"

He knelt by the edge of the tub and rolled up his sleeves. Taking a small sponge in hand, he soaked it in the warm water and lathered it with soap. Then he slid it over her skin, up her arms, over her chest and down over the curves of her breasts. "I imagine it would be quite a pleasing experience," he said, his voice soft and velvety as he pulled back her hair and kissed her neck. A small moan escaped her and formed a happy little sigh. "Oh, that's not fair. You are too cruel," she said, though she did not tell him to stop and he moved to gently bite her earlobe. "Solas… Wait, where are you going?" she demanded as he stood and slipped behind the privacy screen and disappeared into the room. She heard some commotion, but when he did not respond she sighed and relaxed back into her bath, putting it out of her mind.

Solas came back a little while later with a large drying cloth. After helping her out of the tub with a hand he wrapped her in the drying cloth and she smiled up at him, standing on her toes to kiss his cheek. He pulled away from her, giving her a sly smirk before he picked her up in his arms. A small gasp of surprise escaped her lips and then she laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her away from the bath.

She thought he was going to deposit her onto the bed, but instead he walked through the open balcony door and gently laid her down on a nest of blankets and pillows. The chill of the mountain air was sharp in her lungs, but after spending so much time indoors, she relished the intensity of it. Solas settled in beside her and she beamed at him, touched by his thoughtfulness. "You did all this in such a short time? I'm impressed. And very thankful," she told him, nestling herself against his chest as they stared up at the stars.

A gentle breeze carried the sweet scent of lavender to him and he held her close. She nuzzled into him, seeking warmth and touch as they lay beneath the night sky. "I met a spirit once who had charted the stars for millennia, following their paths and movements." He pointed above a nearby mountain peak trimmed with snow. "Once, a long time ago before us, two stars danced together in the night sky. The larger of the two was a red star named Hellathen. He danced in the night sky with his lover, a white star named Lathalla. Together, they danced for millennia, always in step. Until something changed and Hellathen expanded, brighter, bolder, blocking out the brilliant light of his lover. And so it was for a time that those who watched the skies believed that in his desperation to join his lover and reach through space to finally embrace, Hellathen had consumed his lover. And in his grief, he faded away. But there, in his place, Lathalla remained, burning brighter than ever. She endured, and in the night sky, on rare nights, they say she still glows a rosy pink from the memory of her lover's embrace." He rubbed her shoulder to ward off the cold and kissed the top of her head as a shiver passed down her spine.

"Solas…"

"Yes, vhenan?"

"I'm sorry."

"Whatever for?" he asked curiously.

She was quiet for a moment as she took a steadying breath. "I'm sorry because I know how much you care for me and I know that it frightens you. And I know you have lost those you love and that makes love a terrifying prospect because it means opening your heart up to the potential for pain. And as the Inquisitor, my life is in peril often. I may not defeat Corypheus, so I have been keeping my thoughts to myself, but I think you know what it is I'm about to say. I might die in battle. But if I don't, I fear I might die anyway." She held up her hand, illuminating the area with the soft green glow. "I think the anchor will kill me. I can feel it, stretching out like roots from a weed. I thought you should know because you're the one who understands its power best, and are therefore my only real chance at finding a solution. But also because, if there is no solution, I don't want you to be blind-sided if it consumes me."

"Vhenan," he whispered, closing his eyes and kissing the top of her head again, resting his cheek there as he held her tight. "I believe I can stop it and counter the effects if we recover the orb from Corypheus's possession. The orb's power created the anchor. I am convinced it can remove it as well. But I do not want you to worry about the anchor. The wards will buy us time and we will find a way to stop it." He kissed her again. "I will find a way, I promise you."

Pulling her in close, he rested his cheek against her head. "Besides," he said in a lighter tone. "If there is one lesson I have learned in all this time, it is never to doubt you. Your will shall always find a way. That I believe above all else."

Brushing the tears from her eyes she propped herself up and pressed herself against his chest to kiss him. The kiss was long and slow and filled with tenderness as he wrapped her in his arms and held onto her with all his might. She cupped the back of his head, angling herself to deepen the kiss. He pulled her closer, hands squeezing and lingering on her ass. Slowly, her leg slipped over to straddle him and the blanket she had wrapped around herself fell away.

Drinking in the sight of her atop him, bare and beautiful in the bashful moonlight, he welcomed the touch of her fingers as they unbuttoned his shirt and roamed over his chest. "Vhenan," he whispered, as she lowered her head and lightly kissed his skin, then his nipples, down to his navel. And then she was undoing his pants and her mouth captured him. All words were lost to him as his head fell back and a deep groan of pleasure reverberated in his chest under her ministrations. When the pleasure of the sensations became too strong to last much longer, he stopped her and pulled her up for a long, deep kiss. Gripping her ass, he kneaded and squeezed the plump plum shape of her curves. She tried to move back and slip her hand between them, but he caught her wrist and brought it to his lips, shaking his head. "Not yet, vhenan. Not until I've given you your pleasure."

Heart hammering in her chest at his words, she relented and gripped his shoulders instead, biting her lip as he slipped his hand down between her legs and slowly began to spread the wetness there. His mouth latched onto her nipples and he sucked and licked to his heart's content as her hips shifted in response to his touch. It was not long before her whole body shook and she bit back a soft cry. When he removed his hand from beneath her, fingers glistening even in the faint light of the stars above, he brought them to his lips, tasting her with his tongue. Her breath was hot against his neck, still recovering from the moment. "Vhenan, if you are too unwell-"

"Don't worry, I intend to let you do most of the work. This time," she teased, nibbling at his earlobe.

He rolled her over and made certain she was quite comfortable as he touched and teased her in many delightful ways as she came down from her peak. Delicately, he slid his hand down her stomach to her thigh and she opened her legs to him, craving more of him. She pulled him down for a kiss and he positioned himself at her entrance and slowly sank into her. Together they moved as one under the night sky, hands locked together as they lost themselves in the throws of passion.