Chapter 12: Confrontation
She couldn't bring herself to look at him for the next few weeks. She couldn't bring herself to sleep in the same bed they had shared. She slept in an empty room set aside for visiting nobles and dignitaries for a full week before she could return to her own room without feeling his absence like a knife between her ribs.
In a moment of anger, she took up the carving he had made for her and stormed over to the fireplace, ready to hurl it in, but the strength left her arm and she placed it upon the mantle instead, staring at it long and hard, hating that she could not find it in her heart to destroy it. Because it meant that she still loved him. And she still prayed he would change his mind and return to her. She wanted to believe there was still hope that they could be together again. She hated herself for that weakness, feeling so pathetic when he had made it so plain he didn't want to be with her.
Some of her companions noticed the missing vallaslin and asked her what had happened. She did her best to deflect, but everyone knew that something had happened between her and Solas and though they tried not to pry, they wanted to offer their support. But she politely declined all offers for drinks or cards and focused instead on planning with her advisors to stop Corypheus.
After a long night of discussing a feud between Orlesian ambassadors in the war room, she gathered up the remaining reports to read over later and found Cullen lingering behind. "Something to report?" she asked, shuffling the remaining papers and tucking them under her arm.
He approached the war table, gripping the pommel of his sword and rubbing at a mark on the map. "I hate to see you like this."
"Like what?" she asked, a note of warning in her voice. She rubbed at her eye: it had been a long meeting and she was exhausted.
But Cullen was not a man easily intimidated. He looked at her with gentleness in his eyes. "Like he broke your heart."
Drawing in a deep breath, she gripped the edge of the table for support. "It doesn't matter. There's work to be done."
She pushed off the table and strode towards the door, but stopped at the sound of his voice.
"It does matter. He hurt you. And he was a fool to let you go in the first place."
She heard his footsteps behind her and felt him just behind her, there to offer her his shoulder if that was what she wanted. She chewed on her lip for a moment and then said, "I was the fool."
Before he could say anything else, she pushed open the door and left.
Solas chose to keep his distance as well, despite the knot in his gut that felt like he was straining against an invisible tether trying to pull him back to her. Every moment was agony, fighting himself between what he wanted and what he must do instead.
And then one day, he heard her familiar steps behind him and he set down his brush and turned to her, steeling his heart. "Inquisitor, how may I help you prepare for our final battle?" He kept his hands behind his back, focusing on his breathing and his posture as he looked into the face of the one who still held a claim over his heart. As soon as he looked into her eyes he thought his heart might break his ribs it beat so hard within his chest.
She tore her eyes away from his, feeling the ache in her heart throb. Forcing herself to say what she came here to say, she raised her chin, unwilling to cow in the face of the man who hurt her. "I'd like to discuss what happened before, Solas."
He stiffened. "I'm afraid that wouldn't be appropriate at this time. We must focus on what truly matters."
She bit her tongue to absorb the sting of his words. Was she no longer someone who truly mattered to him? Had it been so easy for him to cut out that piece of his heart reserved for her?
"Harden your heart to a cutting edge and put that pain to good use against Corypheus."
She crossed her arms in front of herself, wondering if his words were meant for her or himself. "It would help me if you could explain why," she said, staring him in the eye, searching for some sign that would answer the reason behind the sudden change in his heart.
"The answers would only lead to more questions. An emotional entanglement that would benefit neither of us."
She wondered if he really believed that or if he was just saying it to soften the blow.
"The blame is mine. Not yours," his voice dropped and she sensed the regret he tried to hide. "It was irresponsible and selfish of me. Let that be enough."
She tried to look past the mask he wore, to see the truth beneath, but even his eyes betrayed nothing now. "Will you talk to me once we are finished with Corypheus?"
His throat bobbed as he tried to swallow the lump choking him. "If we are both still alive afterward, then I promise you, everything will become clear."
She eyed him carefully and nodded, heart sinking at his words. Not even in the face of death would he bring himself to tell her the truth. If that was the case, how terrible was it? Without a goodbye, she turned and left, heart pounding in her chest, fingers and limbs numb as she passed through the door.
Solas watched her go, staying as still as a statue, nails biting so deeply into his wrist that they left behind bloody crescents. Once she had gone he sank onto the chaise lounge and pulled out the thin chain he wore under his shirt that bore a single solitary key. Gripping it tightly in his hands, he bowed his head and prayed for strength.
When the battle finally came, the extent of Corypheus's power was terrifying to behold. Structures and stone rose into the sky, the air grew thin and the ground beneath their feet quaked.
Morrigan, in dragon form, fell down from the sky above, wrestling and clawing at the black beast under Corypheus's control. She was thrown aside and returned to human form, landing hard on the ground, injured, but still breathing.
The Iron Bull rushed forward, battle ax held aloft as he engaged with the dragon, landing blow after blow. One wave of its massive claw, however, sent him hurtling aside. He landed against a shattered stone wall with a thud and a groan.
The dragon whipped its head back around, where it laid eyes on Sera. But Sera was ready for it. She sent a volley of arrows straight at its eye. Struck, the beast reeled back wildly, smashing a nearby stone column with its tail. Sera leapt out of the way of one of its legs, a hair's breadth away from being flattened.
"Sera, get back!" Lavellan cried, throwing up a barrier as the beast stomped and flailed its tail wildly. The barrier survived the first hit from a claw swipe, but the force from the tail whipping around smashed it to pieces. Lavellan was flung to the side and Solas ran to help, casting a domed shield to protect her just in time to avoid the dragon's snapping jaws. She grit her teeth and regained her footing, spinning her staff in time to reinforce the shield as the dragon's teeth cracked into it like it was little more than an egg shell.
The dragon reared back its head when The Iron Bull let out a war cry and charged into the fray, hacking at its back leg, drawing its attention away from the two mages. In that split second, Lavellan rushed through the barrier, under the dragon's neck, and conjured icy spears up from the ground where they ripped into the exposed chinks in the beast's armored belly. Her staff whirled around and she sliced deep into the dragon's flesh with the blade end of her staff. Blood poured like a fountain and the beast gave a final, fatal cry that ripped through their ears as it fell back, dead.
A red glowing sphere, crackling like red lyrium, rose from the dragon's corpse into the air and shot off into the sky to the tallest tower where Corypheus watched from above. Solas watched as Lavellan was already chasing up the stairs after the light when the pride demon fell from the sky and landed before them, blocking their path. Sera didn't waste any time, swearing at the monster and hurling one of her flasks at the demon, smothering it in flames. Solas attacked, viciously, terrified that Lavellan now faced Corypheus alone. Could one small elf stand up to a would-be god with the power of the orb?
Swinging his great ax, The Iron Bull crushed the pride demon down with a final blow.
Solas ran up the stairs, as fast as his legs would carry him, ready to fight, ready to defend. He launched himself with the others into the crumbling courtyard where Lavellan and Corypheus battled. Three spells were all he managed before he, Sera, and The Iron Bull were thrown back from the powerful wave of energy from one of Corypheus's spells. Forcing himself to his feet, he fought with unrelenting savagery: he had to get to her. He had to protect her. He had to-
His thoughts ceased as a soaring beam of magical green energy burst up into the sky, into the gaping maw of the Breach. Corypheus had tried to corrupt the orb, to claim the ancient power for himself, but the orb would not obey him. It had returned to the anchor, to the hand of the one marked by its power, as if it knew the one with the will to undo the damage of the corruption was there. She held it aloft, using its power to close the Breach. The raging hole in the sky shrank and sealed, leaving nothing but a glowing green scar overhead.
And then the orb cracked and fell.
He saw it fall and felt his heart fall with it as it broke apart on the stone below.
Weakened, but not defeated, Lavellan held out her hand and snarled, "You wanted into the Fade?!" in defiance and the anchor glowed as she bore down on the would-be god. Corypheus's entire body crumpled like paper, crushed by the pull of the Rift magic until he disappeared in a burst of green light.
The structures and stone hurled into the sky by Corypheus's magic began to fall, and they ran for safety. All four of them were lucky to emerge with their lives and few injuries.
The others breathed a sigh of relief, but Solas searched the wreckage until he found the orb. Lavellan, who knew, at least in part, the importance of recovering the orb, followed behind him until they came upon the shattered pieces. His legs gave out and he knelt down to clutch at the fragment of the orb: his orb. Its power was gone. Not a trace remained; the energy consumed in undoing the damage Corypheus had caused. His heart plummeted into his stomach. He could not save her. He could not save anyone.
"Solas?" her voice was gentle, but pained, for she too saw the pieces and knew the power was gone from it.
"The orb…" he murmured, holding the pieces and looking at them forlornly.
"Are you sure? We could take the pieces and and try to…" she faltered, struggling to find a silver lining in the loss of the orb.
"That would not recover what has been lost," he told her, for it was the truth. The power was gone. And with it, any hope he had of removing the anchor and saving her life. Or any hope of restoring the world he had locked away. He had failed. Again.
Setting the pieces back down, he rose to his feet and turned to her, lost in his devastation.
She met his gaze with heartfelt sympathy and a gentleness he did not deserve. "There's more, isn't there?" she asked quietly.
He shut his eyes in dismay. "It was not supposed to happen this way." His voice broke and he tore his gaze away from her, unable to bear the pain at having failed her. "No matter what comes next, I want you to know that what we had between us was real."
She stepped forward to reach out to him when a voice came from behind her and she turned away.
"Inquisitor? Are you injured?" Cassandra called out. She found them, relieved to see that they were all still alive. When Lavellan turned back around, Solas had vanished.
Solas allowed himself one brief look back at her. Taking the key from around his neck into his hand, he whispered a solemn promise lost on the wind and then turned his back and disappeared.