Chapter 19: The Game - Freedom, I can't lose, freedom cut me loose
Energy. Boundless energy shoots through his veins. His shirt feels overly stimulating so he rips it off, tossing it into the fray. He has an uncontrollable urge to dance so he lets loose. His body moves to a rhythm only he can hear. His tempo is twice as fast as the crunk music blasting out the speakers. His heart is racing and his crazed dancing is using up so much energy it is making him pant but he still has so much more energy left so he doesn't stop. He can't stop. He's free. He's free.
He sees a flash of pink and pushes deeper into the mass of writhing bodies.
"Mina!" He yells, grasping her shoulder and shaking her. "Dance with me!"
Mina's eyes go wide, even wider than her smile. "Yes!" She squeals in response.
He can do this now. He can talk to people now without fear of any repercussions. The thought gives him another rush of joy and it bubbles through him. He realises he had forgotten how wonderful and vibrant his life could be. Katsuki stops suddenly, ignoring the elbows that jostle him from behind.
"What's wrong?" Mina calls as she sways to a halt.
He mimes applying makeup a few times, until she gets it and passes him a stick of waterproof liquid eyeliner.
"Write my name!" He yells.
"What?!"
"My name!"
"I need more of what you're drinking!" She cackles, but she carefully writes on his chest in thick letters. The lines go off course a few times, sometimes because other dancing students bump into her, other times because her drunkenness throws off her coordination but eventually she manages to write something relatively legible. Katsuki looks down to where 'Bakugou' is written on his chest and gives her two thumbs up.
"Now let's go! Don't just stand there! Dance!"
"What?"
"Dance!" He screams.
And they do.
He sees Iida in a corner, holding himself stiffer than usual as he deeply contemplates the cup he's holding. Cues other than his posture suggest to Katsuki his classmate is feeling on edge. The way Iida repeatedly readjusts his glasses is almost reminiscent of some long-forgotten nervous tic. Having acquired his target, Katsuki staggers over. He says something that instantly makes Iida stop sliding his glasses up the strong slope of his nose. What Katsuki says might have been lewd and brazen but equally may have simply been his usual outpouring of expletives. Katsuki forgets the words he says the moment they pass his lips but it elicits a reaction from Iida that he remembers.
"Bakugou! That language is not acceptable at school," Glasses chides. "Heroes must work on keeping their language civil."
Rolling his eyes, Katsuki slides along the wall so his shoulders are close enough to bump into Iida's.
"You look uncomfortable Glasses. Wanna go somewhere quieter?"
Surprised, Iida nods. "Oh! Well that is...kind of you."
Understandably, the class president looks grateful though still slightly confused, he and Katsuki are hardly close after all.
"Thank you Bakugou. Perhaps we could go into my room?"
And oh- the thought of being alone with somebody, even if they're as harmless as Iida makes Katsuki nervous despite his certainty of Iida's good intentions.
"Let's go outside. Could do with some fresh air."
"Ah well school guidelines state - "
"Please tell me the curfew rule isn't gonna be the hill you die on when our entire fucking class is gettin' blackout drunk."
"Point taken. Let's go."
Mindful of potentially alerting the teachers, the boys are careful to pad quietly down the stairs. They are travelling in silence when Katsuki suddenly yanks Iida into the shadows. He slaps a hand over the other's mouth, ignoring the gross feeling of a wet tongue on his palm. At the first sign of more physical resistance, Katsuki bodily crowds Iida against the wall, ignoring the liquid sloshing from Iida's cup onto his boot. A few seconds later, Iida stops squirming, evidently having heard what elicited Katsuki's reaction in the first place - a pair of footsteps getting increasingly louder. They both tense as they hear the echo of a fast-spoken high-pitched voice that bounces off the stairway walls.
"How did that baby work out for you? It is a prototype so I do need it back for tomorrow."
The girl pauses suddenly and peers up into the darkness. With a jolt Katsuki remembers her Quirk gives her the ability to telescopically enhance her vision to a distance up to five kilometres away. Katsuki hopes she doesn't have night-vision too. Katsuki presses even closer to Iida, trying to push them even further into the shadows. Katsuki can feel the hard line of Iida's body smashed against him. Thank fuck he's wearing his packer.
"That's okay!" Midoriya chirps, thankfully bringing Hatsume's attention back to him. "I'm done with it."
"Already?" Hatsume questions in clear surprise. "I only gave it to you this afternoon."
"I didn't need it for much. I just needed to do a quick test, you know how it is for those in the Hero course!"
"Sure do! I've also made some further updates to your shoes too. I'm really proud of these babies, so let me know when you want to test those out - " The slamming of a door abruptly cuts off her speech.
Overwhelmed with relief, Katsuki lets go of Iida and holds his head against the cool brick wall. It's soothing, even more so if he ignores Iida's hushed chattering. When he feels like he can breathe again he turns to Iida.
Iida wipes his glasses and gives him a wry smile, "So…was that for my benefit or yours?"
"I was being nice for once! I didn't know if you'd wanna talk to the girl who humiliated you at the sports festival two years in a row!"
"Hmmm, if you say so."
Iida seems keen to press the issue but is distracted when Katsuki wipes his hand on his shirt. They both stare at each other in equal dismay.
"Don't give me that look, just giving you your spit back." Katsuki says in disgust.
"That really wasn't necessary," is Iida's faint reply.
-.-
-.-
The night air is crisp.
"It won't kill you, y'know," Katsuki says, gesturing at the untouched alcohol Iida is holding.
Iida raises it slowly, still looking uncertain. In response to Iida's small indication of hesitation, a deep desire that nobody should experience any type of coercion suddenly overcomes Katsuki. He catches Iida's wrist and quickly reassures him that he doesn't have to.
"S-sure," Iida stutters.
Katsuki releases him and steps back.
And suddenly Katsuki thinks of another way he can hurt Midoriya. Abruptly, he transitions topics.
"Did you hear me come out?"
"Ah no, but I did hear about the event after the fact. It was most admirable to do so. I hope you don't regret it after the effects of the alcohol wears off."
Katsuki looks at him intently. He licks his lips. "I wasn't drunk then." Puts his hand on Iida's shoulder. "Not drunk now either."
Katsuki crowds closer, allowing their hips to brush together. The class president gets flustered but doesn't pull away. Slowly, advertising his movements, Katsuki leans in, gently pressing his lips to Iida. Iida's lips feel cool and soft. The slow exploratory slide of their mouths feels intimate in a way he has only felt a few times before. He's had more sexual partners than he can put a number on and yet he can count the number of people he has kissed on only one hand. Of those, the only ones granted enough importance to take up space in his head are his kisses with Kirishima and Midoriya. Kirishima due to the sincerity of Katsuki's love that were behind them and Midoriya, Deku due to Katsuki's strong association of negative feelings.
These kisses don't have the raw passion of those he's had with Kirishima or the desperation and pain he frequently experiences during his sexual liaisons with Deku. It does have a tinge of regret he's familiar with however. He regrets leading Kirishima on when he knew he wasn't good enough for him. He regrets letting Deku manipulate him. And how he regrets potentially bringing Iida into his mess.
Iida pulls back, "Bakugou we've been drinking. I don't think - "
"A few sips won't have gotten you drunk."
"I meant you! You can't properly consent when inebriated."
"I told you Glasses I'm not drunk! If you wanna stop, you don't need to make excuses but if my decision-making is what you are concerned about then I promise - I want this, want you."
And he did. With his towering stature and broad shoulders, Katsuki has always found Iida physically attractive. Iida's all dense muscles and sharp lines, Katsuki has a type and he knows it.
"Please," Katsuki breathes, unknowingly slipping into his sex-with-Deku-persona. Desperate for affection, desperate to please but trained to expect degradation with a serving of severe emotional and physical discomfort.
Clearly convinced of Katsuki's ability to consent due to his uncharacteristic politeness, Iida initiates the kisses this time. Happily, Katsuki slides his tongue across the seam of the other boy's lips. Inside he hides the painful self-deprecation needling under his skin. Of course he is capable of saying please. Katsuki knows Iida is only surprised because he doesn't know what a weak, pathetic whore he really is. Many a man had commented on how prettily Katsuki could beg when he allowed himself to stop hiding from his inadequacy and stop suppressing the dark wanton nature he wanted to keep hidden inside.
Iida's fingers draw him back to the present as they massage the smooth band of Katsuki's collar, seemingly fascinated by the smooth grain of the leather. Seemingly reluctant to touch Katsuki's bare torso, Iida keeps his hands planted firmly above shoulder level.
"Can I touch you more?"
When Iida asks for his consent, for a moment Katsuki can't respond, too overcome by the kindness of the sentiment.
"Touch me however you want." He tells him.
Then Katsuki curls a sweaty palm around Iida's neck pulling him closer, forcing Iida to cling onto his waist for stability. It's a comforting patch of warmth pressed against his skin.
"I want to blow you," Katsuki pants when he finally tears himself away. "Can I?"
He doesn't want to pressure him but for some inexplicable reason he craves Iida's touch. Just once he wants to do this without feeling humiliated.
"Are you…sure about this?" Iida asks breathlessly.
"Yes."
If begging is what it will take to get Iida to agree Katsuki knows he'd do it in a heartbeat.
He's dazed to find it isn't necessary.
Iida hesitates, considers and then finally, finally gives Katsuki what he wants. Iida's dick is gorgeous. Lanky, with an above average length but slim girth, it slants slightly to one side, with a mushroom shaped head. Almost reverently Katsuki gently grasps it. It has been so long since he'd seen one. He hadn't slept with anybody or even watched porn since he's been with Deku. Katsuki gently wraps his lips round and gradually works his mouth down to the base. Out of habit, he places Iida's hands in his hair but the class president is too much of a gentleman to grip. Instead he digs his bony fingers into the springy bark of the tree behind him.
"God, that's good," Iida groans.
Kneeling bracketed between Iida's thighs, he can feel the way Iida's defined muscles twitch under his palms and the heat radiating off his engines. Katsuki swirls his tongue, gets lost in his task while the mechanical whir of Iida's engines provide a blanket of white noise.
Iida is relatively quiet but upon occasion he lets out soft sighs and low groans. On a particularly loud sigh, Iida's hips thrust forward and his left hand reaches out. Katsuki tenses, waits to be held down, waits for fingers twisting cruelly in blonde locks -
Instead, Iida's hand passes his head and pauses on his neck, Katsuki prepares for the squeeze, prepares to be complimented on how good his throat feels when he gags -
But Iida doesn't hold him at all and simply brushes his fingers over the leather of Katsuki's choker. A gentle caress.
"Oh yes, that's…" Iida's voice catches and he huffs out a shaky exhale.
As Katsuki sucks even harder, Iida closes his eyes, thumb drifting under Katsuki's leather band. Another groan and then Iida jerks away with a stumbling apology. Katsuki loses his balance, finds himself hunched over on the ground, nails digging into the dirt as he adjusts. It clings to him.
The evidence Iida left on the ground appears iridescent. Magical. He can hear how the surface tension shifts in the breeze. He can count each individual molecule. He can see each helix of DNA. It's beautiful. It's life. It's freedom. It's the metallic clink of a belt buckle but he somehow also knows it isn't so Katsuki looks up.
He sees Iida has zipped himself up and is fastening his belt.
Katsuki looks up through his lashes as the trembling class president and smiles. "Thank you."
-.-
-.-
Katsuki's floating. He can't remember how things were left or even how he got back in the building but he is secure in the certainty that he didn't let Iida reciprocate. He wonders if Iida wanted to keep what happened as a one-off experimentation. He wonders why he'd done it in the first place.
He sends a text confessing.
Deku AKA THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE: Thanks for sharing.
Deku AKA THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE: Please don't play around with his feelings. I care about both of you and wouldn't want either of you to get hurt.
Deku AKA THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE: I hope you enjoy the rest of your night.
Is that it? Katsuki wonders. He sends a message to confirm.
Deku AKA THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE: I thought that was what u wanted?
Deku AKA THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE: All good things must come to an end Kacchan.
and then...
Deku AKA THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE: [image attached]
Deku AKA THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE: To remember our good times together by.
The image is deleted immediately. Katsuki's vision swims and then narrows. He rocks his head back and when he snaps it forward he finds two familiar faces high above him.
"Are you OK? Are you hurt?!" Kirishima asks urgently.
"No...I'm fine. I'm great. I did it. I fucking did it."
"Did what bro?" Kaminari slurs.
"I can't tell you what I did. I can't. I can't, " Katsuki chokes out. There are tears streaming down his face.
His friends look at each other in concerned shock.
"Are you crying? Don't cry!"
Kaminari wraps his arms around him. He reeks of alcohol and sweat but Katsuki can't find it in himself to care. He pushes his face in the crook of Kaminari's neck and breathes him in. Weakly, Katsuki tugs Kirishima's jeans. He wants him close too. His friend. His best friend. His bestest-best friend. His bestest-best friend who he wishes was his boyfriend. At this, ungodly noises begin to escape from Katsuki's mouth, a maniacal mixture of giggles, sobs and wheezes. Kirishima tries subtly to convey his concern to Kaminari but the other boy is seemingly too drunk to recognise that Katsuki's laughter isn't normal. In fact his sloppy grin seems to indicate that he interpreted Katsuki's deranged cackling as a sign that everything is alright. To Kirishima's horror the noises don't stop until Katsuki actually uses his fingers to stop his tongue from moving. Once he's regained control, Katsuki resettles his head on Kaminari's shoulder and begins tugging at the hem of Kirishima's jeans again.
"I'm broken but I fixed it. You're safe now. I saved you." Katsuki mumbles to himself.
And then he throws up and everything goes black.
-.-
-.-
-.-
Author's Notes:
Soo...Did anyone see this coming? Life is never straight forward and Katsuki's life in particular is always messy.
Did you hate this development? Love it? Either way please comment to let me know what you are thinking (and maybe to confirm I haven't scared you away haha)!
Thanks again for everyone's support! I love hearing from all of you!