GRAVE OF MY HONOR

The mist hung lower this time, settling around Riften like a blanket. It hugged the canals in such a way that anyone halfway drunk would certainly fall right into the water. I was sad not to see my old city in the state it usually is, but I should be grateful for the mist. It kept me hidden.

I just passed the Lioness and Igor, and they didn't even try to stop me. Must not have seen me. I almost wish they did. Guards and various other townspeople kept their gazes straight ahead or at their feet to keep from stumbling. Thankfully, I have good footing. And that's only if Voice doesn't talk.

You are there to get the amulet appraised and nothing else. She says for the thousandth time.

"I know. I won't do anything else, just keep Bryn and the others from noticing me."

She laughs, Of course, child, as the whore once told you, you are a part of the shadows now.

I wince at the jab towards Nocturnal. I almost took for granted the fact that the shadows bend their will towards me.

It's why you are such a lovely assassin, maybe I should be thanking her…

A quick rebut sits on the tip of my lips, instead I keep my mouth shut. If I get all riled up before entering the Guild, then I won't have a clear head…and that never goes well.

The tombstone stands just as proudly as before. I've sometimes seen people entering the graveyard to pay their respects to the divines or the dead. They never seem to panic when a full-fledged thief pops out of the tomb.

I hit the little button for the floor to creak and move. Almost there. The sewers are grimy as always but at least I'm not taking the longer and more haunted stretch here.

Right when I hit the ground, I see him, he's standing on the pedestal hovered over the little lake in the center. Talking to someone in a hooded robe.

He will not see you. Nor will anyone else. Go around the perimeter and Mallory will be in the Ragged Flaggon.

As usual, I do as I'm told and barely skirt the perimeter of the room. Various thieves who are doing some archery glance my way. But they don't move to stop me. The whole way I watch Bryn's face. A hood covers most of his eyes, and I think he prefers it that way for now. There is a certain sorrow marking his beautiful features. His eyes are the saddest. I yearn to cross the bridge and bring him into my embrace. But then Cicero would mark him for certain death.

She laughs at me. At my pitiful state. I know it. Come to think of it, this whole time Voice has been mocking me in a way. I shut that thought in the back of my mind. It's unnecessary. If I allow her to torment me, I just might throw myself in the canal and never come out. Vampires can starve to death if they wait long enough.

Keep going. I won't let you do something so foolish. She promises.

Delvin Mallory pales to the color of snow when he sees me in the Ragged Flaggon. "Blimey." He stands quickly, sending his chair to the ground.

I hold a finger up to my masked face. "Don't say anything. I'm here to see you and only you. Let's go somewhere more private."

Delvin nods and signals to the room in the Ratways. Right outside the Flaggon, where I literally got flogged by the resident bullies.

Their ashes are still here, just scattered from all the skeever activity. Delvin tries to speak but I keep us going. Right when we hit the room where I found the axe, the room with the pale light streaming in from up above, I take my mask off.

Delvin seems to shrink back from my appearance, which is odd because I haven't gone after anyone's throat in the past few hours.

"Bloody hell." He whispers and stares me straight in the eyes. "I'm taking it you haven't looked in a mirror in some time?"

I shake my head. "Been too busy."

"You look positively like you've seen a ghost. Or been tortured in the Ratways again. What's all this about? What do they have you doing? We got your note back at Proudspire."

I lean against the anvil in the center of the room. I do need to tell him something. I want to. I just have to be careful with what I say.

The amulet. Voice snaps.

"Need this appraised." I finger the blue amulet around my neck, then on second thought, pull it off.

Delvin takes it in impressively steady hands. His heartbeat still gallops like he saw a monster. "What's been going on? Have they brainwashed you? Bryn needs to know."

"He won't know anything if he wants to remain breathing." I stare him in the eye. Admittedly that wasn't all my voice. She was feeding me what she wanted me to say.

"Understood." He averts his gaze. "Who are you working with?"

"Dark Brotherhood. Apparently, you work well with them and I'm just now learning it." I cross my arms. I know he didn't have malicious intent but leaving that little gem of information out. But I can't help but be a little bitter I didn't know his connections until now.

"Yes, well, I haven't seen Astrid in some time. Maybe send her over here to get a drink with me. We can catch up and I can wrestle the information out of her about you. Has she harmed you?"

"No. She's been more helpful than anything." I say almost reluctantly. Voice directed I say those words if only to get him off our backs.

He smiles knowingly, "Sneaky fox she is. What does the Brotherhood need?"

"Tell me about that amulet." I nod towards it. He's holding it out in his hands. The gem catches the light, showing off its full beauty. I'm sure would blind any skeever in a ten-foot radius.

"Amazing." Delvin breathes, "Where did you get this?" He glances at my face then backtracks. "Don't answer. I don't want to know. This is an amulet of the Emperor's Elder council. Specially crafted for each member. Worth a small fortune. Ain't somethin' you'd give up lightly."

He wipes the perspiration off his forehead. "Listen, it ain't my business to tell the Dark Brotherhood its business, but if you killed a member of the Elder Council, you'd better belie-"

"Will you buy it?" I interrupt.

He blinks. "But it? This? An Elder Council amulet?" He looks back at the gem with appraising eyes. "Yes. Oh yes, indeed I will. But wait just one moment…" He feels around his pockets and pulls out a dingy looking piece of paper.

"Here. It's a letter of credit. Usable, by Astrid only, for any service or item I can provide. As per our standard arrangement." He hands it over then gives me a solemn look. "You bring that back to your lovely mistress. With my regards. Now, love, the answers. Who's making you stay?"

I shrug, "You know. She was carted in a few days ago. I can't shake her but I'm working the problem out now."

"Bryn is going absolutely bonkers without a word from you. We all are…"

I rub my head. I have to leave them with some sort of hope. Voice tugs.

The mission is finished. Leave.

"I'll send another letter. I promise. Just don't follow me or tell him I was here. Like I said, if any of you come after me, you will be marked for death. And it isn't Astrid calling the shots anymore."

To my surprise he lunges to grab my arm. I pull back just in time. I could almost lose my cool and fry him. Thankfully, I have enough control. He sees my panic and holds up his hands. "I'm sorry. It's just, love, you aren't looking too good. Its like all the fight has left you."

His eyes are earnest, and maybe mine are too. "I'm trying to keep it."

"I don't think you'll last that long. Frankly, love, you're one for the wolves. Anything might take you down."

I flinch at the harshness of his words. This man before me is not lying in any way. The longer I go on like this, the more I'm worn down. I think back to Vorstag's face, the moment he lost it on me, and I killed him in return.

"I will. I'll hold on. I'll be okay. Nothing any of you can do to help me will keep you safe." I see his shoulders slump, and then I move in to grab him in a hug. "I'm sorry. I promise I'll be ok. Just keep everyone here safe?"

"I will, love." He nearly chokes on his words, "I always do. Do me a favor and keep yourself in one piece."

Leave.

I pull out of his embrace. "I'll try. I'll…" Come back soon? See you again?

"I'll see you around."

He takes a deep breath and nods. I can see the war waging inside him now. Instead of saying something stupid, I turn and run. He knows what not to say, he doesn't need any more words from me.

Back to Astrid. Her voice is dripping with venom. At first, I think it's for Delvin, but then I remember her hatred for our mistress. Fear settles in my stomach for her. If she knew how fragile the peace was between herself, the Night Mother and Cicero., I don't think she would send me on such dangerous jobs.

The walk out of Riften was easy enough, no one looked my way. But it was hard for me to pass such familiar places without a second glance. If I dare tried, she would scream at me. Then the whole way back in the carriage to the Sanctuary she whispered about the crown. Nothing substantial or new to the situation. Just gems like this:

…it was forged for me only…

…the lifeblood is close…

…the whore will be gone…

That shakes me awake. "Don't do anything to her." I growl.

That is not for you to decide.

I open my mouth again when the words are cut short. A shadow passes overhead, one I have not seen since Helgen.

The carriage jerks violently. The powerful heartbeat of the horse begins to gallop. Driver turns to get us under the cover of nearby trees. I take his cue and we wait in silence. The only sound comes from the trees swaying. Five seconds later a loud, guttural call sounds from up above. He circles the area twice before we hear the final flap of his wings.

Driver lets out a breath. "Must be careful with those things. Been too many recently." He grumbles to himself.

I lean my head against the wood and try to tune Voice's insane rantings out again. My heart still races from the encounter with the dragon. Last time I saw one, I was nearly turned to a crisp. But, come to think of it, I'd almost rather fight the dragon right now. If only to get her to shut up. We still have a long way to go.

The blonde color of her hair shines a little brighter with the new candles put in place. Her dark eyes are shadowed but they're vigilant with my arrival. She is a pretty woman. Dare I say likeable. But with every step I take Voice's hatred rears its ugly head. It' s hard not to be influenced.

"You're back." Her voice is flat. Emotionless. "Well, what did Mallory have to say? Is the amulet authentic?"

I don't like her tone. She glances at me with a sterner expression when I stay silent. Oh, what it would look like for her face to be torn off her pretty skull.

"Don't." I whisper.

The dark cloud intruding on my thoughts pulls back. I'm left nearly shaking like a leaf.

"Is everything okay?" Astrid moves closer. I watch her face, if any thoughts of killing her creep in, then I will leave.

Nothing. "Yes, it was specially made for the members of the Elder Council."

She crosses her arms, "The Elder Council? Oh, now that explains quite a bit. Motierre, you naughty, naughty boy. Hiring the Dark Brotherhood to help you rise beyond your station. Delicious. Was Mallory willing to buy the amulet?"

"Yes, he has a letter of credit for you." I pull the small paper out of my pocket.

"Splendid. Then we're ready to begin. Or, more specifically, you're ready to begin. After all, you're the only one the Night Mother spoke to." Maybe it's Voice but I scour Astrid's tone for any sign of jealousy.

"Now then." She ignores my oddness. "I hope you have something nice to wear. Because you're going to a wedding."

I'm still wrapped up in my own world so the last sentence hits differently. "Who's wedding?"

She laughs, "It's more of a public reception. It should be a lovely affair. You'll mingle with the guests, eat some cake…stab the bride."

Solitude. She whispers.

"Oh yes. You've got to kill the bride. At her wedding. And they say romance is dead." Astrid sighs.

"Who is it?" I might as well know.

"Her name is Vittoria Vici. She oversees the East Empire Company's business holdings in Solitude. The wedding is being held there at the Temple of the Divines. Her death will cause an uproar, which is exactly what we want. She will be likely to address her guests frequently, as is the wedding custom. Kill her when she does that, and I promise you a significant bonus."

Something tugs me down into the cavern. I move to follow the calling. Astrid laughs, "Go now, and give my best to the bride."

The need festers. I break into a run. The thing pulling inside me is ravenous and will wait no longer. I'm only seconds across the dirt ground, with the others yelling in exclamation to my abrupt entrance. Those fade in the distance. Soon, I am right at her front door.

The coffin opens. Slightly. The breath of death fills the air.

"Mother calls us." A whisper right behind my shoulder. I don't have to turn to know it's him.

My children…open the doors so I can witness you.

I grab one door, as if on autopilot, and Cicero goes for the other. The thing is still heavy but it's far easier to open only one door. The hinges creak slightly. Heartbeats sound in the hallway, Brotherhood members are now watching us.

"Don't come in." I say it loudly and sternly. I have a bad feeling this room will be uninhabitable soon.

Her wrinkly skin almost appears oiled. I nearly heave at the thought of how it got there. So, I keep my eyes on hers. They glow as bright as the full moon.

My dears… I have brought you here because we have a quest. I need the both of you to follow exactly as I tell you.

The heartbeats remain where they are. They don't move closer. No one says anything. I glance over at Cicero. His face is one of pure joy, his mouth is formed in a strangely beautiful smile. It's like he was a Nord finally laying eyes on Sovngarde.

The Emperor of Skyrim will be dead soon. I will make sure of it and we will use the Dark Brotherhood of Skyrim as the vessel to complete our endeavors, for it is too much work for only three people…

"Yes, Mother." Breathes Cicero. My grip on the door tightens. He can finally hear her loud and clear.

When the Emperor and his accomplices are deceased, we will then take the Brotherhood. Purge the undesirables. Astrid is still skeptical, even at this time… I must say-

"No." I stand straighter. Cicero gasps. "I won't let you kill her or anyone else here, they're innocent…" Well, "Innocent enough, they haven't come for us."

But they will.

"How do you know? Last I heard you weren't a seer."

Her eyes glimmer, I have my methods. How do you think I can hear the Black Sacrament? How can I prevent you from moving when I wish it? I know these things, and dead child, last thing I would want is for you to be ambushed.

"By who? Astrid? You? You've done that very thing to me countless times in the past few months!" Cicero winces at my rising tone.

Tendrils of smoke fill the air, for some reason I know that it's meant to keep prying eyes on our conversation.

You needed to be strong. This won't help you get stronger. Their aim is to kill you.

"You got me out of it before. I expect you can get me out of it again." I whisper.

Cicero is shaking, but I ignore him. I stare at the face of the Night Mother. Even though it is and will always be expressionless, her eyes convey more than I thought possible. The usual disdain, hatred and venom is reflected in them.

I saved you because I could. This will be different.

I stop breathing. I guess I don't really need to breathe in the first place with all the perks that come with the fangs. But old habits die hard. Her words repeat in my head. She saved me because she had the ability, yet this time she won't.

Do not mistake this shortcoming as a weakness on my part. A red glow forms in her eyes, making me shiver.

I begin to say something when he shoves me. I don't expect it, so I tumble to the ground. I flip to face him right when he lands a punch square in my jaw. I go down but not before throwing my leg out. He yells with his own fall but it's only moments before we're at each other's throats.

He holds the glittering knives with ease and circles me. I turn to keep my eyes on those deadly weapons, even vampires have weaknesses. I call the aid of my electric power but nothing forms. Fine, then I'll go for the ice spike.

The glow flows from my hands just as he speaks. "I knew you were up to something. You're like the no good, filthy, Traitor!" Cicero sneers. He spits at me, which I quickly dodge.

"You don't know what she does to me." I say.

His eyes narrow. "What Mother does to you? All she does for you, and this is how you repay her?! Attempt to murder her?!"

"I wasn't going to kill her! Stop putting words in my mouth you freak!" As soon as the words leave my mouth he screams. With all the hatred seeping off him I'm still surprised by how uncontrolled he is. He spins and flings a blade right at my throat.

I dodge that too it barely grazes my ear and smacks into the stone wall behind me.

"Mother should have left you to rot! Cicero should have buried you deeper, so deep that Sithis could never reach you!" He snarls.

The dam bursts. I leap across the room and sink my fangs into his throat. His scream is gods awful, nearly breaking my eardrums. Right as I'm about to tear, stabs of pain run up and down my back. I throw him off to keep him from getting to my heart.

He stands, slowly, and begins to stalk around the room, mirroring me. We circle in this standoff, predator and predator, waiting for one to show that one weakness to exploit. This never comes.

My children, my sweet children. Do not fight… Purrs Voice. Louder than before. Makes it easier to hear the tension and pleasure in it. She's certainly enjoying this.

The door behind me breaks on it's hinges and the others pour into the room. The smoke dissipates, the coffin doors shut, and soon, Cicero is nowhere to be seen.

"By Oblivion! Whatever happened here?" Astrid surges out of the little crowd, now gaping at the interior of the room. I glance at the floor. It's almost completely coated in crimson.

"Nothing. Got into a scuffle with looney tunes and didn't get the second hit in." I glare at her.

Astrid gapes, then regains her composure, "You were trying to kill an assassin?"

What the hell is her deal? I thought we were on the same page. "Yeah. He tried to stab me."

Her expression shifts from one of sympathy to disappointment. "I will not allow this any longer. You might want to go talk to Nazir." She crosses her arms.

The energy of the room dims. It feels like being on the wrong end of a draugr battle. Outnumbered and no better than a sitting duck. The others crowd around the perimeter of the room and all seem to sneer at me as one entity.

I hold up my hands. "Sorry, I can clean the blood up if that will help." Forgot how it must smell for mortals.

"No Eve, you have disrespected the Dark Brotherhood. And it will cost you." Nazir steps up next to Astrid.

"There's rules? I thought you all wanted the twerp dead as much as I do?"

"I wouldn't admit to that if I were you." Bites out Astrid. I see her face is a mask of barely concealed fury. "We have little in the way of formality and laws, but the worst offenses is to harm or murder one of our own. As much as I hate to admit it, Cicero is one of us. Any harm against him by another member is subject to banishment."

Banishment. Like they'd give me up so easily. "But I'm the Listener."

Hysterical laughing sounds from behind the coffin. Everyone in the room moves their eyes to him as he is now sprawled on the floor.

"AHAHAHAHAHA. Oh! What jest! What fun! Listener, you are a joy! All your folly is music to Cicero's ears! AHAHAHA. Listener denies her importance until the right moment!" He's on his back, flailing his hands and feet around, the red of his suit blends with the color of the floor. He flips and smacks his fist to the ground. His grin is nearly as wide as an Argonian. "You want a riddle, hm? I say one thing, and then another, always changing at the turn of a dime. I put on a pretty face with those I'm around and change my mask whenever they do. I am infallible but only by my own word. What others see as just, I will always be. What am I? Oh, Listener this riddle is about you…what are you?"

I grit my teeth. "Shut up."

He puckers his lips, then moves to his knees. The room is dead silent so we can hear him clearly when he whispers, "A hypocrite."

My fangs extend. It takes all my willpower to hold my magic in. It's not even the electric magic, but my ice spells. For I wish so bad to fling an ice spike right through his eye.

He laughs again, falls to the ground and rolls around and around.

Astrid clears her throat, "I see Cicero has sustained damage, and so have you, Eve. Walk it off, go take some time and come back with payment when you can."

I swallow, the lump in my throat is larger than I thought. It thirsts for a certain someone's blood. "Will do. What of the wedding?"

Astrid taps her food. "Three days. It happens in three days. You have time. Go, before tempers get the best of you again."

There isn't another beat of silence before he speaks, "Listener, you forget." Cicero wipes his eyes and rises to his knees. "You forget the five tenets! All the time! One," He holds up a finger, "Never, ever, disgrace the Night Mother. Two." He holds up another finger. "Never betray the Dark Brotherhood or its secrets. Three, never disobey or refuse to carry out an order." He sighs and holds up a fourth finger then a fifth. "Never steal possessions of a Dark Brother or Sister and never kill a Dark Brother or Sister." He chokes on a breath before the laughter begins anew.

"AHAHAHA. And Listener here…dear, sweet, Listener has almost broken them all! Tried to kill me. Tried to steal. Tried to tell. Tried to disobey and always, always disgraces Mother!" He screams.

I leap across the way and clutch his throat. He gurgles out another laugh. Arms surround me, pull me back. I yell out in frustration when I'm forced to let him go. "Get off him!" Vezeera harshly whispers. "You're making it worse."

I have to reluctantly agree. I let them drag me off Cicero's still breathing corpse. He laughs, soft and long before telling me something that should make my ears bleed. "Listener, punishment…is leaving the Brotherhood. But also, invoking the wrath of Sithis."

He's not laughing when he says that. He just looks at me with hungry eyes. "Cicero sent you to him once, how would he judge you when he sees you again? Hm?"

He's not mocking me anymore. It's an honest question. I just shake all the Family's hands off me and rise. The room is hazy, or maybe it's just me. Invoke the wrath of Sithis…I was with him once. It was horrible. But it was natural in the Void. What if one day he wanted me to suffer?

I don't ponder these questions further. I just stalk out of the room. The others, Vezeera, the Dunmer, the wizard, the vampire girl, Nazir, and Astrid all stare at me in various stages of hatred and disappointment. Didn't know these people would throw you under the carriage without hearing you out first.

She laughs, Now, you know…

As I leave the room, I don't look at anyone, not even Cicero spouting riddles again. I glance at the coffin. The underlying meaning for our "meeting" is coming to light. But I'll keep my mouth shut.

Apparently, I have to pack what little I have and go on a sort of pilgrimage. In the room with the bed I never inhabit, I shove my things in my bag. Some coin. Some ale. The vial with the vampire cure. Whatever use that is. And the wrappings surrounding the crown. I feel the pulse of power as I move it, but I ignore that. It's not that important right now anyways.

I sigh and stand. Hopefully, this won't take the full three days allotted to me. I might just walk in circles around Falkreath until my "punishment" is up. I see a shadow move and snap my head up. I'm wrong. It's not a shadow but my own reflection in the only mirror in the room. It's a small thing. Something to put in a pocket, but it's lodged in the wall.

The woman who stares back at me is hollow. That's the best I can describe her. Her ebony hair is lank and greasy, in a barely concealed braid. The skin seems paper thin and sagging under the eyes, pooling in dark circles. This woman is definitely a vampire. Her hazel eyes are clear but lifeless. The lips are swollen and pale. If I saw this woman on a street I would turn and walk the other way as not to draw her attention. If I were a more compassionate person, I might try to help her.

Maybe Delvin is right, I am one for the wolves. The one pulling the strings is wearing me down to the bone. This expulsion from the group is another blow to my willpower. My hands shake as I draw the string on my bag. Something is about to happen. Something that might not be so good, and that is saying something with the last few months I've had.

I just have to remember I have some control. The hallways blur with my departure. I don't want to remember them or the people here. All I want to remember is the time in the marsh where I defied her. The only time I kept her from controlling me. If I can get even an ounce of that power, I just might survive this.

Cicero's Journal Entry

3rd of Morning Star, 4E 202

A new year! A new problem…Cicero respects the Listener, but he respects you first, Mother. And it is true! Listener is a hypocrite! You should have seen the look on her face when the Brotherhood cast her out! It was to die for! She only enjoys her privilege when things are going her way. Her way and not your way. Why wasn't I chosen? But I must be grateful, how hard it would be if Astrid were Listener…ohhh.

Cicero will keep his eye on Listener, if there is any more talk of treason then we will have to have another "conversation" soon…