Chapter 6: But now my best friend is the driver and I'm the backseat rider
Summary: A flashback to when Hermione made the decision to leave and Ginny finally gets the truth.
She's in the twin's car, Ron driving them out to a strawberry farm on the outskirts of town. Hermione's parents know the owner and he lets her wander the farm whenever she pleases. She brings Ron from time to time, getting her parents to drop them off and stuff their faces with sweet strawberries. It's the first time Ron has taken her since he'd gotten his licence and she's excited to spend some time in the summer sun with him before she leaves to go to France.
Ever since Hermione's revelation regarding her feelings towards Ron, she's held herself back. She tries not to touch him too often, her attempts futile due to Ron's preferred way of communication being touch. He's forever nudging her with his shoulder, dragging her alone by the hand, hugging her hello.
Ron leans over the gear stick and grabs her hand from her lap, he squeezes it before letting it go. She looks over to find him smiling fondly.
"We should come back here before we go back to school."
She nods and smiles.
They pull up outside the farm and Hermione instantly starts towards her favourite path. She hears Ron run after her, calling out and laughing at her eagerness. She's wearing a yellow summer dress and it floats around her thighs as she wanders through the orchard, down the rows of strawberry bushes.
"Mione, wait up!"
She slows down to a small bench, her favourite spot in the entire orchard, away from the busy rows, the shop and the children. The best strawberries are found in this area and she enjoys the quiet. When she sits down she laughs at Ron's red face. He sighs but sits down next to her, plucking a big strawberry from the bush next to him.
"Open wide!"
Hermione knows she has to act normal, to not show how flushed she feels at such an intimate gesture. He pops the strawberry in her mouth, his eyes on her lips, her eyes on his. Her entire body feels hot and she has to remind herself to actually chew on the fruit in her mouth.
She averts her eyes as she chews. She can't do this anymore, it hurts too much to be this close to someone you love.
She gulps as the word echoes in her mind.
Love.
She really does love this boy. The red haired, red faced, strawberry-eating boy beside her. He's eating a strawberry, his blue eyes closed as he savours the sweetness.
Before she can throw herself into a spiral of self-doubt and panic, he grabs her hand again and pulls her up. This time he doesn't let go, instead he clasps her hand tightly in his and they stroll down another row of strawberry bushes. He's humming, their hands slightly swinging as they walk. Hermione has no idea why he's holding her hand still, he doesn't normally do this. She's staring at their hands in wonder when he stops to pick up a basket.
They pick strawberries, not letting go of each other's hands and Hermione takes advantage of the feeling of his hand in hers, the warmth, the slight buzzing she feels. He laughs as she drops another strawberry, and pulls her towards him, nestling her into his side as he leans over and plucks the strawberry she was reaching for. He smells good, like home, she spies the few freckles on his neck as he leans over and her lips are inches away from skin. She inhales slightly and then he's gone, letting go of her hand and moving the basket to it. He smiles broadly at her, teeth and everything.
"Want to go look at the sunflowers?"
She nods. The sunflowers are her favourite part of strawberry picking. There's a field of them right next door and the two of them used to chase each other when they were younger, dodging the tall flowers and sneezing on the pollen.
It's a warm day and Ron wipes his hand on his shirt before grabbing for Hermione's hand again. He smiles sheepishly at her questioning look. She just doesn't understand why he's being so clingy today. They've held hands before, sure, but for this long? Her heart is aching from beating so fast.
"Don't want to lose you again." He explains, smirking.
She rolls her eyes and grabs his hand. They walk towards the sunflowers, talking about the owners, reminiscing of the days they used to get sick on strawberries and laughing about the time Mr Carmichael's son chased Hermione into a bee's nest, trying to get her to kiss him when she was 12.
"Be careful, Johnny might be around. Might try and steal a kiss again." Ron teases, echoing the memories rifling through her head at the sight of the tall flowers.
"Johnny's seventeen now, Ron. I doubt he would come chasing me for a kiss."
Ron laughs softly, the small deep chuckle that Hermione loves so much.
"Anyone would chase you for a kiss, Mione."
She can't see his face but his tone strikes her as odd. He's teasing but it's not in his usual cadence.
She spins round to face him, grabbing the basket of strawberries from him and giving him a flashy smile. But she stops, his eyes are drawn to her lips and it almost scares her. He's looking at her too deeply, too intimately, her heart races furiously and she has to rip her hand from his to break the spell.
"You can't say things like that," she whispers.
Ron's eyes are back on hers, his brows drawn.
"Things like what?"
Hermione sighs, boys.
"That anyone would kiss me." She whispers, unsure.
Ron looks down at the ground, and Hermione notices the familiar look of him thinking. The hand to the neck, the furrow of his light brows.
"Most boys would love to snag you. You're great." His cheeks are bright red, and if it wasn't for the blasé shrug of his shoulders, Hermione would probably think he was being entirely serious. But his tone suggests something different, he delivers the sentence as a fact, as something obvious and mundane.
"Don't." She chides, anger reverberating through her body.
"Don't what?"
"Just because I haven't -" she gulps here, embarrassed, "I haven't had a boyfriend or much experience, doesn't mean you can take pity on me."
Ron's eyes widened, as if noticing his mistake.
"That's not-"
"No, please Ron. I know I'm not pretty or hot like the girls at school but please don't take pity on me. Don't compliment me just because a girl asked you out last weekend and I was stuck looking like a sore loser."
Ron shakes his head.
"I said no to her and I'm not taking pity on you. You've got this all wrong!"
Hermione can't hear anymore. Ron, her best friend, her crush, thinks her confidence needs a boost. Thinks she wants to hear that boys want to kiss her. She already had a heartbreaking moment when the pretty girl in the year below them sauntered up to Ron at the party they attended last weekend. A pretty blonde, small and athletic, a striker on Ginny's football team - exactly the type Ron should go for.
She stalks away from him, throwing the basket of strawberries on the ground. She realises that Ron drove her to the farm so she has to awkwardly stand next to the car.
Ron walks up, hands in his shorts pockets.
"Mione, I didn't mean to offend you." He starts, making Hermione shake her head and look down.
"Ron, can you please take me home?"
"C'mon we didn't get any strawberries! This is the last time we can hang out before you go away!"
Hermione just shakes her head.
Ron huffs but gets in the car. The drive is silent and Hermione chances a glance at Ron and watches as his jaw clenches. She uses the opportunity to watch him drive as a chance to drink him in. She knows she can't keep fancying him, she needs distance. She can't go strolling around strawberry farms with him hand in hand. That's the moment she decides to take up her Aunt's offer. To spend the entire summer in France, away from Ron.
It's Saturday and Hermione is meant to meet Ginny at the school's football field to watch Ron and Harry's second game of the year. Today's game is supposed to be tough, against the rival team Durmstrang. She knows Ron will be nervous, these games normally herald a large crowd.
She's late to meet Ginny. The night was rough with plagued nightmares and sweaty pyjamas. She's always been prone to nightmare's when stressed and she knows it's not good to be having nightmares already so early in the school year.
"Where have you been?" Ginny throws her hands up in the air dramatically, causing Hermione to roll her eyes.
"Sorry, slept in. Shall we find a seat?"
"No seats left are there? We're late! We'll have to sit on the grass down the front."
Hermione groans. The grass is right next to the Hogwarts bench, she's going to be distracted by the offhand comments thrown by Coach Hooch.
"How come you slept in? Unusual for you." Ginny comments. She grabs Hermione's arm and steers her towards the grass.
"Just couldn't sleep."
"Any reason?"
Hermione raises an eyebrow at Ginny's prodding.
"Ron went to the movies with Lav-Lav last night…" Ginny says lightly, and Hermione sighs audibly at her meddling.
"Yes I saw." She says through gritted teeth.
They find a nice spot near the pitch, and Ginny pulls her to the ground.
"I thought watching horror movies were a thing for you two."
Hermione can't be bothered for more questions from Ginny so she spins to face her, crosses her legs and arms and pointedly glares at her friend.
"Do you want me to tell you that I'm upset that he brought her to a movie we were planning to see?"
Ginny's eyes widen, her eyes are brown unlike Ron's bright blue but their noses are the same and it jolts something in Hermione.
"I'm fine, Ginny." She huffs.
"So you are upset?"
"Used to it now, I guess." She mumbles.
"What do you mean?"
Hermione turns away from her then, searching the field for the familiar redhead. The boys are warming up and she spies Harry jogging on the spot, red and gold uniform glimmering in the sun. She spots Ron next, not far from Harry, juggling a ball with his feet, a small smile on his face.
Hermione realises she hadn't replied when Ginny replies for her.
"You're upset that he's with her in the first place." She mumbles.
Hermione doesn't reply again, she supposes she should just let Ginny figure it out herself, whether she gets there or not, Hermione doesn't have the energy to care.
"Do you miss your best friend or do you miss Ron?"
Hermione frowns at this.
"What do you mean, Ron is my best friend?"
"I mean, do you miss Ron being just your best friend or do you miss him being more?"
Hermione feels all blood rush from her face. She faces Ginny in shock.
"We were never more than best friends." She explains incredulously.
"If you really think about it, you were. You might have well been a proper couple."
She shakes her head.
"Ron has never liked me like that."
"I beg to differ." Ginny says, before turning her gaze to the field.
Hermione is too gobsmacked to reply to that comment, her thoughts incomprehensible. She watches Ron warm up, running small laps next to Harry.
"But - he's with Lavender." Hermione murmurs, not realising how long it had been since Ginny's comment.
"You fled to France for the entire summer." Ginny says casually.
"He was heartbroken, Hermione. I don't know what happened between the two of you to treat him that way but you're lucky I'm still your friend."
Hermione feels tears prickling in the corners of her eyes. Ginny has never spoken to her like that before.
"I couldn't keep acting like that. It was too hard." She whispers more to herself than Ginny.
"What happened?" Ginny asks softly, grabbing Hermione's hand amongst the grass and squeezing it.
The squeeze reminds her of Ron and unleashes the entire story to his little sister.