Celeste's POV

The past few weeks kind of dragged on. They have mostly just been filled with training since we haven't had any missions come up, nor have we had any leads on Klaue or this so called Crossbones. But I have a feeling something will come up sooner or later.

It was probably also due to the fact I had something to look forward to. It was Wednesday, and Steve and I had organised our weekend away to DC. We were heading out this afternoon, giving us four nights to spend together. After we returned from my birthday surprise night in the city with Steve, I really enjoyed the idea of spending as much time with him as possible. So after we visited the doctor about anything that could potentially come about with Steve's super soldier serum and our physical relationship, to which she recommended I take the morning after pill as a precaution and in the future, we make an effort to use a condom, we both agreed on spending the extra night in DC.

At this moment, we had just finished training for the day and we were both finishing any packing we had left. I was just getting out of the shower and drying off before I heard a knock at the door. After putting my silk robe on, I answered to find Steve with a weekend bag in his hand.

"Hey, I'll just finish getting ready and we can get going." I said as I turned back to the bathroom.

"All good. You excited?" He asked, taking a seat on the end of my bed.

"Yeah, I've been looking forward to it!" I said from the bathroom. I walked out dressed in my travel clothes. "I'm excited to see a new town, explore a bit."

"Is that it? Because I'm looking forward to having you all to myself for four whole nights." He smirked, pulling me into him by my waist.

"You know dammed well I'm just as keen as you are." I smiled at him before leaning in to peck his lips. "Okay, let's hit the road!"

It was a couple hours drive, where I played the road trip DJ, introducing Steve to a whole range of music. Let me just say, he was a fan of ABBA now.

We finally made it to DC, to where Steve kept his old apartment from his time living here.

"Oh, this is nice!" I said as we entered the apartment with our bags.

"Thanks. It's only one bedroom, but I never really had guests so it was never a problem."

"Well that's not a problem. You can have the couch." I say with a straight face, to which his eyes snapped to me with a frown. "I'm kidding! Damn, don't be so serious." I laughed.

"You just said it so straight faced." He said, grabbing my bag from me, leading us down the hallway to the bedroom.

"Well I guess I've had enough super spy training."

"You're not wrong. Did you want dinner?"

"Yeah I'm pretty hungry. Did you want to go out, or stay in?"

"Maybe order in? Although I'm sure the restaurants around here wouldn't mind if we dropped in, they do get pretty busy."

"Ordering in is fine with me. We had a big day, and didn't stop to buy anything, so let's order something."

After we had eaten our dinner, we were getting ready for bed. I couldn't help but let out a big yawn.

"That's a big yawn." Steve says with a teasing smile as he pulls the quilt back to get into bed.

"Yeah, on top of a hectic week, I haven't really been sleeping well."

"Really? Why's that?"

"Well... you know I've started counselling."

"Yeah, hows that going?"

"Well it's only been two sessions, but... we've gone into quite a bit. I guess I'm just emotionally drained."

"I guess it makes sense. You've had a pretty rough go of it."

"Yeah..." I say softly.

"What's wrong?"

I sigh. "I guess... I just feel like sometimes I'm a burden."

"Celeste..." Steve says gently.

"I know you're going to say I'm not, I just... I just do. And I don't want to be whinging about it too much, but I just can't get over Fischer."

"The feeling of betrayal?"

"Yeah." I look at him. He grabs my hand.

"Celeste, I know it's not the same... but when I found out about HYDRA still being around, and infiltrating S.H.I.E.L.D. I couldn't help the feelings I had for months. I guess I still feel it sometimes. It was a big deal. Nat joked after we figured it out, that I kind of died for nothing."

"I wish I knew earlier what was right." I said, to which he looked up at me. "But you didn't die for nothing. I honestly don't think anyone could have done what you did."

"What do you mean?"

"Well you found a home of sorts, didn't you?" He nodded in response. "And Peggy was one of its founders. So I guess what I mean is, you must have had this emotional connection to it of sorts."

"I guess you're right."

"And the fact you made sure HYDRA were exposed, and S.H.I.E.L.D. was no more... that takes a lot of guts. And honestly... I kind of get it."

"I suppose it isn't too dissimilar from you."

"Yeah... I thought it was my new home, after... after my family I thought it was my new family. I had what I considered friends. I had Bucky for a short while. And now that I know what I know about it... I want it to fall."

"Well, we haven't found anymore bases."

"No... and I don't know of any more. But Fischer had to have gone somewhere, Steve. And I want to find him." Steve just stared into my eyes for a moment. I could feel my heart beating uncontrollably from the anger I was feeling. "I can't just forget what he's done... what I've done."

"You thought it was right though, Celeste." He tried to say to me.

"And how many others have thought the same thing, Steve? Doing damage, hurting people, because they believed it was right?" He didn't respond. "It's just history repeating itself. Over and over again, for centuries. I was mislead, yes. But I still did it. That's something I have to live with, for the rest of my life. You've always been on the right side of an argument Steve. The right side of history... you're always the good guy. I always wanted to be the good guy and thought I was the good guy for most of my life, but I found out, not that long ago, that I was always on the wrong side. What HYDRA has done... what I've done... is atrocious. Whether I had good intentions, or not, I'm ashamed of what I've done. As I should be."

"I guess I don't really know what you're going through."

"And I don't expect you to, Steve. We each have our own story. I just need to come to terms with mine."

I don't realise that I'd shed any tears until Steve wipes them away with his thumb.

"I'll always be here for you. In whatever way you need."

I smile, leaning in and kissing him softly.

"Thank you. And I'm the same for you."

After our talk, we settle ourselves in for sleep. I fall into a deep sleep. Not waking until the alarm goes off. I reach over and turn it off before turning back to feel Steve's side empty and turning cold. I then hear the kettle whistling from the kitchen.

I get out of bed, pulling the covers up and giving the bed a quick do over. I then make my way to the kitchen, where I find Steve making coffee with a French press.

"Hey." I smile at him, kissing him on the cheek as I enter the kitchen.

"Hey, how'd you sleep?"

"Really good actually. I think we need to sleep together more often." I wink at him, opening cupboards or find mugs.

"Well you won't hear any complaints from me." He chuckled. "Here." He reaches his hand around me with his body pressed against my back, opening a cupboard with mugs and glasses in it.

"Thanks." I can't help myself from blushing as I reach into the cupboard and collecting two mugs. "So what's the pan for today?"

"Well, I was thinking since it's Thursday, it might be a good day to visit the museum. It is summer holidays, but there might be less people." He says, pouring our coffees.

"Yeah I'm excited to go, so that works. Maybe if we head out soon since it's only 8, that might be even better. Thanks." I smile at him as he hands me my mug.

"Good idea. What do you want for breakfast?"

"Let's just pick up something on the way."

"There's a bakery down the street."

"Sounds good. My treat." I wink at him over my mug.

"I hope you don't expect anything untoward from me?"

"A poor, innocent boy like you? Never!"

The museum is amazing, to say the least. I found all the history fascinating. There were so many stories of Steve and The Howling Commandos that I never knew. He never really spoke about it much.

I'd watched the video of Peggy. And I won't lie and say it was easy. I actually found it surprisingly hard to watch and listen to. I could see how much she cared for Steve. I'd looked over at Steve a few times as we sat watching it. His jaw appeared to be clenching periodically. I couldn't tell if it was from his history with Peggy, which would make sense, or if he just felt uncomfortable with me watching it. I hadn't felt it before, but now I was nervous to be meeting Peggy in person tomorrow.

After that, we made our way to a memorial of Bucky. It took me a moment to recognise him in the photograph, since my memory of him was as the Winter Soldier, with longer hair and stubble. The one time I'd seen the photo in Steve's room didn't stop me from thinking of him that way.

"I'll just be over here, okay?" Steve whispered to me, gesturing to another part of the exhibit.

"Sure." I said, slight furrowing my eyes.

I watched him walk away, running a hand over his face.

I turned back to the memorial, reading what was there. The video explaining how James was the only Howling Commando to loose his life in combat set me off. I felt the tears slowly trail down my face.

I felt the acid like feeling deep in my chest from anger. I could feel myself getting worked up, so I shut my eyes and focused on my breathing like Susan, my counsellor, had suggested I do in order to calm myself. After a moment, I felt it working.

I opened my eyes again, looking at the video of Steve and Bucky that was the same photo of them that Steve had in his room. I couldn't help but feel my heart tug at the clip. Two best friends who were still smiling after all they had seen. But it's nothing to what they've both seen and gone through over the years. They almost look unrecognisable. I don't think I had ever seen the James I knew smile. I guess I never actually knew him as James or Bucky though. Soldat was what I referred to him as, as I was instructed. Jesus, looking back at it now, it goes to show how naive I was.

"Are you okay, dear?" A soft voice asks from beside me. I turn my head to see an older woman. Maybe in her mid seventies judging from the soft lines on her face.

"Pardon me?"

"I was asking if you were okay? You've been standing here for about ten minutes, and I couldn't help but notice your tears."

"Oh," my hand swipes the tears away, "uh, yeah I'm okay. I just get emotional with memorials. As it turns out, he was an old family friend." I gestured towards Bucky's memorial.

"Oh really?" She asks with wide eyes. "What a small world."

"Indeed it is."

"He was rather handsome." She whispers, leaning towards me.

I can't help but laugh at this. "From what I've heard, he'd be very pleased you thought so."

"Well I wouldn't have said 'no'." She smirks as I continue to laugh gently. "Well, if you're okay I'll leave you to be."

"I am, thank you for checking."

"Not a problem." She smiles before walking off.

I turn back to the memorial once again, taking in the photos of Bucky. Now I know he's alive somewhere, I can't help but wonder where.

I decide to make my way over to Steve, where he's sitting on a bench, head down. I sit next to him, grabbing his hand and squeezing it in my own.

"You ready to go?" I ask him.

"Yeah, if you are. Are you okay? You were there for a while."

"I'm fine. I just had a moment, then spoke with an older woman briefly. She was a fan of Bucky's good looks." I smirk over at him, to which he laughs.

"He would have liked that!"

"That's what I said!"

We made our way out of the museum, but I couldn't help but want to ask if he was alright.

"Are you alright?"

"Sure, why wouldn't I be?"

"Well... you seemed pretty tense when we were watching Peggy's video... and you didn't even stick around for Bucky's part."

"I guess it's just hard for me..." he sighs.

"You don't have to, but you can talk to me if you need."

"I just..." he stops walking at this point. "Peggy's video is hard... it was when I first saw it."

I can't help but feel a slash of jealousy shoot through me. Jesus, he loved her once, and not that long ago for him really. Settle down!

"I imagine it would be." I whisper. "Do you-?" I cut myself off. I can't ask him that.

"Do I what?"

"Don't worry about it." I say. He gives me a look, like he knows what I was going to ask. "And Bucky?"

"This is the first time I've been back since I found out he was alive."

"And you can't help but wonder where he is."

"Exactly."

"Do you have any idea?"

"Sam and I have been trying, but every lead we get turns out to be a dead end."

"That makes sense. All our training at HYDRA would have taught him how to disappear. Has Nat got any ideas? Her time with the KGB might help." I offered.

"She got us leads originally, but there just isn't anything coming up."

"Hmm..." I say thinking to myself. "Maybe I can take a look when we get back? I might be able to have some ideas." I offer.

"Yeah, why not? A fresh set of eyes can't hurt." We'd begun walking back to the car at this point.

"Alright let's do that then. What now Mr. Tour Guide?" I change the subject, trying to lighten the mood.

It was the next morning, and we were meant to be visiting Peggy.

I was now absolutely terrified. I couldn't get Steve's reaction from the video out of my head. I honestly think he was still in love with her.

I know we haven't said anything other than liking each other. And I don't think I was ready to even say those words to Steve yet. Honestly, that also scares the crap out of me... I don't even know if what I was feeling was anything more than 'like'. I'd never felt love before.

"You ready?" Steve asks as he walks into the living room where I'm just sitting on the lounge, staring out the window.

"Oh, yeah." The nerves in my voice are visible to my own ears.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, let's go." I stand up, grabbing my purse and walking out the front door. The sooner I get it over and done with the better. Not like it was a chore, but I just needed it done.

Steve drove us to the home Peggy was staying in. It was a lovely old house on the outskirts of the city. Plenty of gardens, where the nurse had said we could wait, and she'd bring Peggy down to meet us.

Steve and I were standing next to each other, but I felt like there was tension between us.

"Steve!" A British voice said loudly. We turned and saw an elderly woman in a wheelchair. Even though it's been years from the video I saw yesterday, it was very clear it was Peggy. "Oh Steve! What a lovely surprise!" Her smile lit up her face.

"Hi Peggy." Steve smiled, walking over to her and accepting her outstretched hands in his. "It's lovely to see you."

"How are you?"

"I'm good, my friend and I are visiting Washington." Steve gestures over to where I'm standing. I felt my stomach drop from being referred to as his friend.

Peggy's smile remained, just as bright as it was a moment ago. "Oh how nice."

"Peggy, this is Celeste."

I push my feelings down, walking over to the pair of them.

"It's such a pleasure to meet you, Peggy."

"No, the pleasure is all mine! Steve's never brought a visitor with him. You must be very special." She winks at me.

"Oh, I'm not too sure about that." I smile. But I don't feel it reach my eyes, as I look at Steve. He looks down, almost ashamed as we make eye contact.

"Oh hogwash!" She laughs. "You're stunning. How did you two meet?"

I give Steve a look, as if to say he can answer. We hadn't actually said anything about what we might say to avoid sharing my history.

"Celeste is actually an Avenger now, like myself." Steve says sitting down on the bench gesturing for me to sit next to him. I do, but sit with a respectable space between us.

"Really?" She asks excitedly, looking to me.

"Yes, I am."

"That's fantastic!" She smiles almost proudly. "There should be more women on that team."

"Well, there's three of us now." I say.

"Three? Who's the third?"

"Wanda Maximoff. We met her a few months ago."

"Maximoff? Where is that name from?"

"Sokovia." I answer.

"Ah, that whole Sokovia business." She sighs. "What a mess..."

"Yes, it certainly was." Steve agreed. "But we're doing what we can."

"I'm sure you are, Steve. Celeste, what do you do on the team?"

"Uh, well I'm actually an enhanced person."

"Enhanced you say? So you have, what is the word...? Oh! Don't mind me, my mind isn't what it used to be." She smiles at me, which I return gently. I can see the struggle going on inside her head. "Oh, what is the word! Powers!" She clicks her fingers. "That's the one! You have powers?"

"Yes, I can control the elements. Earth, wind, fire and water. All that sort of stuff."

"Lighting too." Steve adds.

"That's fascinating! Would you mind... showing me a little something?"

I look to Steve, to which he nods. I click my fingers, a small flame coming from my thumb.

"Stunning..." Peggy says in awe.

I then transformed the flame into a small ball of water, moving it over to the flower bed that was looking a bit sad, before letting the water fall into the soil. The flowers instantly perked up. I turned back to see Peggy's face, mouth open in amazement. She turned to look at me, a large smile breaking out on her face that made me feel like smiling.

"You're marvellous, dear!"

"She is." Steve agrees.

I look at him, my smile falling along with my heart. He frowns at my response.

A day later than planned, but I had another lockdown birthday.

There will be a continuation for this chapter… next week! Please let me know what you think!