MAB86 - Thank you for the review! Yeah, there's been so many Phoenix recons and other issues I'm trying to avoid them as much as possible :) . Hopefully my way of bring Dog Logan back for a reunion with both Logan and Rose avoids the plot hole issues with time travelling Dog Logan. I also hope you'll like where the rest of the story goes. And given the villian of the last chapter, who I haven't named yet but gave lots of pretty heavy hint,. Kitty will probably want to be involved, I'll just say that ;) .

(Some info for those who don't know since it's quite a while back in the comics. Madelyne Pryor was someone Scott Summers married after Jean died - well the first time - she looked like Jean but wasn't original intended to be Jean returned or clone etc. She just was supposed to look like Jean, and even punched Scott in the face when he asked if she was Jean. She wanted him to love her for her, not his lost love, and it seemed he made that choice. In the original plan he was supposed to become a reserve member of the X-Men otherwise having a normal life. He got married to her and had a son Nathan (who becomes Cable), then the editors wanted to get the original X-Men together, bring Jean back and have Scott get together with her, leaving Maddie a loose end. She was re-conned into a clone of Jean's, and Scott, who didn't know this, they had just up and leave his wife and son for Jean. Didn't do a great deal for Scott's character, and was probably one of his worse moves at least at a personal level. That together with Sinister kidnapping her son and demonic manipulation helped drive Maddie mad and into becoming the Goblin Queen, tapping into the Phoenix in the Inferno storyline. Sad really, as I really liked pre-insane Maddie, she was a fun character. But that's background to her, I think she's still around as the Goblin Queen, I hope they one day give her some peace, and allow her to return to the life she lost.

Also in the section from Rose's perspective, Logan is referred to as James, because that's how Rose sees him. Anyway with that on with the chapter :) )

Chapter 5

Jean watched the Earth, beautiful and fragile, framed by the vast backdrop of the dark cosmos from her bedroom window of the Grey-Summers house, thinking briefly how strange her life was that living on the Moon in a telefloronic dwelling seemed normal. More than that had given Scott and her a kind of stability and normality they hadn't really ever had. Now they were together with their extended family and friends, as part of a nation of mutants no longer having to fear a world ready to kill them just for being born. There were concerns she knew, and some didn't like the compromises they had made on Krakoa, former villains not only walking free but sitting on the nation's government, some in particular had somewhat distanced themselves over the issues. One particularly painful issue had been Logan's choice to leave the island and remove himself from the resurrection protocols, he still visited and was on call within X-Force and other missions they needed him for, but his distance and misgivings had affected all of them, and Jean knew Logan wasn't the only one with doubts. And there was also the worry that Logan could die for real, unlike the rest of them for whom now death was usually a minor inconvenience. While Logan was truly hard to kill, it had been done once, so it could be done again, and he might not return next time, and that thought was hard for Jean to bear, and had caused a bit of distance between them over his choices, nothing said but it was there.

And now there was this new situation and all it had brought to light. Her relationship with Logan had always been complicated, right from the start, but she had chosen Scott and both had placed the powerful attraction between Logan and her behind them, locked in a safe place when Scott and her had got engaged and married. She would always love and care for Logan more than just a friend, and no matter what she tried that never seemed to change. However she always loved Scott more, had always chosen him and Logan had respected that, had even eventually found a hard-one friendship with Scott. Only after Apocalypse had briefly possessed Scott and a distance had grown between them had those feelings she had towards Logan flared to life for a moment and broken out of their safely buried confinement, and in her loneliness she had in a moment of weakness reached for Logan, but he'd been strong then for all of them and had walked away. Jean was glad for that now, despite it all, despite Scott's time with Emma, her death and everything else, she and Scott had finally found their way back to each other.

Though some part of her would always retain those feelings for Logan, she had long thought that they came from the parts of her that were more linked to the Phoenix, but now having seen Rose, and experienced Logan's earlier memories Jean was wondering if there was another reason.

Jean felt Scott's presence enter the room and he came up behind her and enfolded her in his strong arms, and Jean leaned back sighing in contentment, resting her head back on his shoulder.

'Something on your mind, Jean?' Scott asked. 'You've been up here a while looking out the window.'

'It's just everything happening today,' Jean replied, 'seeing Logan's early life was heartbreaking, I know he's had so much suffering and pain in his life such as Weapon X but I always hoped his early life was happier, but it's just as filled with pain and tragedy as what would come later. We've all had our share of tragedy, but his life often seems to have nothing but that, it's a wonder he's as sane as he is. And then there's Rose, she looks so like me Scott, it's uncanny.'

'I know,' Scott said softly, 'brings back all the memories of Madelyne Pryor and Sinister's manipulations in our lives, but it seems she isn't any clone or time displaced version of you, or you of her. I don't think it's mere coincidence either though, and then there's the Phoenix connection. It's worrying, particularly given Logan's link to her and his feelings for her. He's not going to easily agree is we have to take action against her.'

'It's more than that Scott,' Jean replied, 'when we were observing the events involving Rose, it wasn't like I was just observing, it almost felt like I was part of it, as if I was Rose. Like I could feel what she felt in those moments, as if I was almost remember the events myself, and I don't know what that means. When Madelyne attempted to commit suicide to take me with her to survive I gained a similar sense of rapport and link with her personality, including her feelings for Nathan. Here it seemed immediate.'

Jean paused for a moment, knowing what she was about to say was still treading on difficult ground for them, something usually left unspoken, but now as both her and Scott were finally attempting to move forward being fully honest with each other had become vital, she continued, 'I also think that the… complicated feelings I have for Logan might be coming from Rose, or have something to do with her. I could feel what she felt, at least I think I could, she felt a draw to Logan as she grew up, she just didn't understand it. It scared her, as did things about Logan she didn't understand, and the secrets creating the distance between them prevented them ever talking about it and realizing it until it was too late. I think she knew at the end, but… ' Jean finished, unable to continue.

Scott was silent for a moment, but then replied, 'Jean we've both made allot of mistakes, and I've made my share. What I did to Madelyne I'll never be able to make right, and the issues with Emma… and Logan's always been here in our relationship. I know you haven't ever fully gotten rid of your feelings for him, but I learnt to accept that, you can't control your heart, and I knew you always loved me and choose me, it was more than enough. Logan and I managed to put behind us to, despite our fight when you were gone, it wasn't really about you, and we have somehow found our way back. The friendship may not be what it was but it's getting there. But still, Logan's been there, a ghost between us, but if you're right perhaps it's never really been you and Logan, but it's always been Rose and Logan, maybe she's the reason you have both always felt drawn to each other.'

Scott continued after a moment, 'assuming things don't got to hell with Phoenix or some other trouble, who knows, it's possible that perhaps some peace can come for all of us, you and me, and Logan, if she isn't a danger maybe we can final lay that ghost to rest at long last with Logan and Rose where it belongs.'

And for the first time that night Jean smiled, both for herself and Scott, but also for Logan, at the thought that the long love he'd been unable to ever let go off could finally be reciprocated. Despite what he thought of himself, Jean wished that Logan could find happiness at long last.

Ororo sat in the Green Lagoon looking at the drink in her hand, not really noticing anyone around her when she heard, 'penny for your thoughts, mein freund?' and turned to see Kurt and Kitty standing there.

'Sorry Ororo,' Kurt continued, smiling slightly, 'but you were just staring out absently into your drink not noticing us at all.'

The weather witch chuckled slightly, 'sorry Kurt, I guess I'm a little more shaken by everything happen this morning then I thought.'

Smiling sympathetically her friends sat down with her Kitty asking, 'so how is Logan doing, we only managed to catch some details from Scott and Jean before they headed back to the Moon?'

'I'm not sure Kitten,' Ororo grinned slightly at Kitty's sour look, she didn't like being called that so much anymore, 'I've only rarely seen him so shaken up, but he's doing as well as can be hoped.'

'Scott said she looks just like Jean, is she really someone Logan knew over 100 years ago?' Kurt asked.

'It seems so,' Ororo replied, 'the woman Rose's likeness to Jean is uncanny, both now and back when Logan knew her.'

The other two mutants stared at Ororo with slight confusion, leading her to add, 'Logan let us peer into his memories of this Rose to understand who she was and his connection to him.'

'He let you all into his mind,' Kitty whistled, 'that pretty impressive, he's always been cagey about people poking around in his head, not that it's really surprising given his history. He must have been shook up about it.'

'I think he just had too hard a time trying to put it all into words,' Ororo said quietly.

'It's strange how we are talking about a woman over a 100 years dead being raised back to life, and it just doesn't seem that odd anymore. Our lives are truly strange,' Kurt chuckled lightly.

'Look around at where we live Kurt,' Kitty joked back in return, 'it sometimes feels we're all living in some strange psychedelic fever dream. And all of us are coming back from the dead as a matter of course these days.'

Ororo smiled at the levity, feeling better than she had for quite some time, but a sad smile returned to her face.

'What is it, Ororo?' Kurt asked, sensing what was troubling her was yet unsaid.

'It's Logan early life,' Ororo replied, 'all this time I've known nothing off it. In some was having similarities to my own, Logan was an early orphan like myself, but even before that his life was often unhappy. I know he only recently re-gained all his memories, but he still never confided any of it to me, to any of us, carrying it all by himself.'

'He's always been that way though Ororo,' Kitty replied. 'Logan very rarely lets any of us, including those of us who are closest to him into personal memories like that. Whether it's Weapon X, Silver Fox, Team X, the manipulations during his life, or even more recent events like Mariko's death, his adamantium being ripped out, becoming the horseman Death or his healing factor deactivated and even dying, you know he usually doesn't like talking about it much. He always been a very private person, dealing with those traumas in his own way.'

'Sadly often with either drinking or rage,' Kurt replied with a fond sadness.

'Sometimes the rage helps though,' Kitty said quietly.

The three were silent for a moment before Ororo continued, 'I guess it's just we've been through so much together, from those early days when it seemed we could barely stand each other, to the most closest of friends, comrades and family. There were times when he and I held the X-Men together alone, in those days when Charles and Scott had left, and then the X-Men were believed dead. I could never have lead the X-Men without him, he was the solid support for me throughout that desperate time. You're all so close and dear to me, but in some ways Logan became the closest through those times. I just feel as if somehow I've failed him as a friend as he's carried all this loss and guilt ever since his memories returned, I feel I should have been paying more attention. And I've let little petty disagreements over Krakoa create distance between us, and I'm sorry for that as well.'

Kurt reached out and took Ororo's hand, 'Logan might not be the most sensitive soul, but he never took it personally Ororo, none of us have. I've not agreed with everything here either, I've stayed because I hope to make a positive impact on the future of this island and on mutant destiny within the world, but I understand Logan's misgivings. I have them as well, but I've never blamed you mein freund, and neither does he.'

'Now tell us what you can Ororo,' Kitty added. 'We've both been worried about him, let's us know what we need to help our friend.'

Rose put down the water she'd been drinking and sat up a little in the strange bed, if that's what you could call it. It and this whole place was like the inside of a giant plant, it was so uncanny and strange, and she could sense the mind surrounding her, patient yet powerful, stretching from this room throughout the land around her. How she knew this she didn't know, and would have been more disturbed if she hadn't seen all the many strange and extraordinary things she had since her first death. She had difficulty remember most of it now, it felt like a half-forgotten dream in which only particular details occasionally stood out, all of them involving James, brief meetings on the edge of death, and moments she watched over him, in his joy and sorrows, through his best and darkest hours, his moments of greatest triumphs and deepest failures, his suffering and all to brief happiness. Through all of it Rose had been there attempting to reach him, support him in any way she could, but also separated even though so close, unable to fully be with him, apart from those all to brief times when he was so badly hurt they touched. And she never wished for those for him. Rose had never left him, just as she had made that choice when she had seen that scared little boy curled up before her, hurting and not understanding what was happening to him, and had taken him into her arms.

Rose hadn't understood her choice then, she was so young, and then that side of his that had come out was so frightening and unknown, for both of them, James scared of who he was and had been, afraid he'd killed his own father, and she had never known. So many things unsaid during those years living at the quarry, dividing them even as they lived together, even as they grew together and their feelings for each other matured and developed. So much wasted time in those years of their youth, neither knowing quite how to bridge that divide, the misunderstandings and the secrets, until it was to late. So much that Rose hadn't even realised about her own changing feelings through those years, she had felt the intensity but it had been so mixed with her old care for James and her uncertainty and fear for him, she didn't understand it, seeking the familiar security that Smitty had offered. He'd been a good man, and it had been the 'right' choice, but the closer it came to leaving James the more troubled she'd become and the more her heart had hurt, she couldn't imagine a life without James in it. When Smitty had told her instead of hurting him, James had thrown the cage match for them, so they'd have money to start they new life together, she'd known then she couldn't leave him. It had been then Rose had began to realise just what she did feel for the adult James, for 'Logan', and had rushed to him, not really knowing exactly what she would say. Then it had all become so messed up, Dog, the fight, the crowd and her tripping, that terrible accident, James' claws through her, but far worse then the physical pain had been the soul piercing hurt and guilt she'd seen in James' eyes.

Rose had tried to explain, but there was no time, her life slipping from her, and she saw James losing himself to the animal side of himself. Rose knew then she couldn't, wouldn't leave him, as she felt herself being pulled away she had let out a cry with a power Rose had never known and reached for him, calling for anything to help her stay. And then there was warmth, golden flames around her, and she felt an answering call, from something so far away and yet so near, unfathomably powerful and beyond comprehension, so beyond her yet intrigued by the determination of her call and will, and in touching her it found and touched another. One not yet, still far in the future, yet to this being past, present and future were not the limitations they were her, and at that point they were linked as both were touched by this being, this Phoenix, the other being it's chosen, Rose it's pointer, and through it's touch, it's presence warming them from within and united them, linking and intertwining their lives across time and space.

Rose, an orphan and only child, now had a sister and twin somewhere out there, someone not even born yet, but fated for the Phoenix, for Rose the connection and anchor answered her heart's desire. The Phoenix and her sister allowed her to stay with James, and so she had through all these long decades, even though he never really knew it, Rose knew she would never leave him, he would never be truly be alone.

And then he'd really died, and for a time they were truly together again, a time of both joy and great adventure which Rose now only dimly remembered, and then she'd felt the touch of Phoenix again, as it'd searched for her 'sister', for Jean Grey, and Rose had been pulled in it's wake. And so she'd found herself pulled back towards her body, locked in a warm cocoon, as the Phoenix found Jean and raised her. Then in a deep sleep Rose had only been distantly aware of things, only really stirring when she felt James had returned, called by another, and had ever since been trying to reach him again, knowing somehow the bond between them would release her.

There were still questions, she felt them within James' mind, and within others, and that itself was one. When she'd been alive, Rose had always had good instincts about people, had been very empathic, but she'd never been able to read thoughts, in the long decades since she had become so used to knowing James' thoughts she didn't question it when she'd heard his mind. It was how it always had been for them, but now she was alive again, and could sense the minds of others besides him, she realised her re-birth via the Phoenix had changed her, though given the things she'd seen at James' side these changes didn't seem so incredible as they would have done to young Rose. And James certainly didn't scare her anymore, she knew she understood him better than anyone now, better than even he did himself.

She turned a fond gaze towards James, leaving the bigger questions for the time being, and just enjoyed this time together. He was busying himself getting things ready for her, trying to avoid the questions he'd been dying to ask her, worried about what her reading his mind would mean, and floored at her calling him her love. No one else would see it in his tough, hardened exterior but she could see clearly the boy she'd known in this proud and noble wild samurai he'd become.

Rose giggled softly for a moment before a strong shiver and sense of dread, of wrongness went through her, stilling her laughter, and she felt a brief sense of dizziness, which passed just as quickly.

James was at her side in a second, though still hesitant to touch her, his hand hovering close to hers, 'what's wrong, darlin',' he asked urgently.

Deliberately placing her hand in his, interlinking their fingers, Rose lightly caressed the spaces between James' knuckles where his claws were housed. Looking up at him Rose replied, 'I don't know, just a sensation of what you could call 'someone walking across my grave', only it was stronger. Some sense of danger, of wrongness, but it passed just as quickly, I'm not sure what it means, something to be careful of perhaps, but we can handle it as long as we are together and trust each other. No more secrets and misunderstandings for us James, whatever fate has in store for us from now on, we face it together. But whatever it is, it isn't that you have to be careful of me. You didn't mean to hurt me then, and you won't hurt me now, trust yourself, and trust me.'

'I'm tryin' Rose,' James replied quietly, 'but I still don't understand why you don't hate me, I hate myself for what I did to you. How can you trust I'm not gonna hurt you again Rose, you should never had anythin' to do with a sick animal like me.'

'James Howlett,' Rose responded hotly, 'I never want to hear those words from your lips again. For all the hurt I wouldn't change one day I had with you, as always you only see the pain, but you so rarely see the joy, all the good things you often miss. So much of the joy I had in my life after I lost my parents was all with you, and my existence would be so much poorer without you in it, and all the colour you brought to my life.' She lifted his face to look her in her eyes, 'I've never regretted my choice to be with you, and I'll never regret loving you. Do you regret loving me?'

James stared at her stunned in astonished wonder for a moment before replying, 'only how it ended, Rose darlin', and all the stupid mistakes and anger I carried back them. But I told Smitty when I last talked to him I'd always love you, an' I always have. Somehow even with Jeannie, it was always you Rose. I could never stop lovin' you even if I tried, even when I couldn't remember I loved you.'

Rose felt a blush rising at his confession, despite knowing his thoughts and heart for so long, and looked down shyly for a moment, feeling a large grin spread uncontrollably across her face, as she looked up.

'That counts for both of us my love,' Rose replied. 'But we're not going to let those mistakes happen to us again. Both of us were so young and foolish back then, all such a long time ago, and we're much older and wiser now. I've loved you all this time, and I've never left you, I've always been with you, and I always will be James,' she continued stroking his cheek.

'But since when Rose,' James asked confused, 'you loved Smitty, you were gonna marry him, should have married him. If only you had… '

'Hey.' Rose said, 'I said enough of that, unless you really want to see my Irish temper up close.' Sighing, Rose continued, 'Smitty was, he was a good man, and back then I was young, confused over what I felt towards you. Everything was so confusing with you, there were all the misunderstandings keeping us from really talking, and I was afraid for you and your wild side, even as I admired the man you were. I never really understood how my feelings for you were changing as I grew, and it was both flattering to receive the attentions of Smitty and he seemed safe, and the path I should take. He also had so many characteristics I already admired in you, it was easy to respond to his affections, but you were always foremost in my thoughts. It was when I heard you'd thrown the fight for us, for me, it seemed like all those fears I had around you just fell away, and I knew the man I loved was always there no matter his wilder aspects. There wasn't two sides to you, just you James, and I think I knew then. Then Dog, the fight and the accident happened, and looking in your eyes then I knew without doubt I was in love with you James, and I have been ever since.'

James sat silent for some time, fear and hope warring across his rugged face, and Rose reached out again and caressed his face, 'don't let your fears cause you to withdraw, to often that's what you done, withdraw or attack, just as I told you before.'

James looked at her oddly, 'I don't remember that conversation Rose… wait, that near death dream I had when at the Weapon X facility, that was really you?!'

Rose laughed lightly replying, 'yes my love. I told you, I've always been with you. I tried to help you then, but you've always been stubborn, but then you are like your father in that way.'

'Yeah,' James muttered darkly, 'a killer.'

'No,' Rose said, 'you are like your father John Howlett. A strong, honourable and good man, if determined to the point of stubbornness. Though hopefully this time you'll listen to me.'

At last James graced her with a smile, as he replied, 'well I'll try darlin', though I'm not promising anythin'.'

'What else is new James,' Rose laughed.

'Now ask the other question that has been worrying you,' she continued.

'Okay darlin'. Rose, no matter what happens, I'll be on your side,' James said determinedly, 'but people here are worried about you. How you came back, it seems to be due to somethin' dangerous we've had more than a few runs in with, sometimes it helps and sometimes it threatens to destroy the world, even the universe. You never know which way it's gonna go when it turns up, an' you seem to packin' some new guns in that arsenal of yours that you weren't before.'

'You mean the Phoenix and my ability to read minds,' Rose replied.

'You know of the Phoenix?' James asked, surprised.

'Yes,' Rose responded, 'I've known of the Phoenix since I first died. It's the reason I was able to stay with you, and it's why I have the link I have with Jean Grey, why we look alike I think. And that's why I was brought back, in the wake of it's attempt to re-unite with Jean. Though perhaps it best to talk more of that when Jean herself is here. As for sensing others thoughts, I'm as surprised as you. I've always been able to sense your thoughts since I died, so I didn't think anything of it, but when I caught your thoughts I realised I can sense others thoughts, like the Morlock Healer. I can also sense the massive mind of the living creature that surrounds us. I don't know why that's the case, or why I already seem to know how to use this ability, my experience as a spirit on the borders of the world beyond, another gift of the Phoenix, this link I share with Jean Grey, or perhaps all the above…'

'Makes me wonder what else the Phoenix left you with darlin',' James asked, 'and do you think the Phoenix is with you?'

'No,' I don't think so,' Rose replied. 'I don't sense the touch or presence of the Phoenix within me, I don't think my resurrection was entirely intended by it, or at least not it's main objective. It was focused entirely on Jean at the time, obsessively so if that could be said of such a thing. Seeking her so intently against Jean's will, it's power forcing her back pulled me was well in the wake of raising her, ripping me back into my body, into to a cocoon of sorts, is the best I describe it James. Then the Phoenix left again and I was trapped, asleep, apart from you for the first time in so long, alone. Then I felt you return and I tried to reach for you, and you finally came, and the power keeping me, holding me blossomed and restored me, perhaps that was a last gift or apology of the Phoenix for what happened, even as it responded at the beginning.'

'Huh,' James replied. 'Well it's some weird shit darlin', but that seems stock in trade here, and it's the Phoenix we're talkin' about so anythin' possible. Know if it left you any other gifts?'

Shrugging Rose replied, 'sorry, I'm as in the dark about anything else special about me right now as you are James.'

Cocking his head, 'that's also pretty odd darlin', no ones called me that name in a long while, even you stopped after a while.'

'Only because you wanted me to James.' Rose said. 'But you are James, to me at least, it who you really are. The others know you as Logan, the Wolverine, Patch or Weapon X, but to me their just parts of you James Howlett.'

'Now,' Rose continued, 'can I please get out of the flower bed, I'm getting a bit sick of being copped up in this overgrown plant. Can I get out and stretch my legs a bit, you can take me for a bit a walk,' she smiled.

'I thought you might, so I brought you some clothes to put on Red,' James said, grinning a little to much for Rose's liking.

Rose suspiciously took a quick look at the outfit he was holding up, some sort of skin-tight body suit, the kind she knew number of the X-Men and other people James lived and worked with wore, but couldn't help be shocked by it, drawing the sheet tighter around herself. 'James! I can't wear that, it's positively scandalous!'

'Oh I don't know darlin'' James replied laughing, 'it's pretty normal wear around here these days. Gotta move with the times Rose. Besides I remember you bein' in a sheer dress when I meet you in those near death experiences.'

'That was different,' Rose said sharply, fighting the blush rising on her face, 'I don't think I'm going get with 'the times' that quickly, thank you very much. How do the women nowadays bear it, I would die of the shame and embarrassment. Please James, find something else.'

Chuckling James threw the body suit back saying, 'I figured that might be the case, Rose, couldn't resist pullin' your leg, seeing you blush like that made it all worth it,' at which Rose glared at him, causing James to just laughed again as he reached and pulled out a long full length dress, black at the top and down sides of the sleeves and front and back, whilst golden yellow at the sides. Rose's felt tears in her eyes as she saw it, 'not quite Victorian wear, but a good comprise between now an' then. And it's made after the Christmas dress my father gave you once, figured you might like a new one Rose,' James finished smiling at her gently now, handing her the dress.

Rose hugged it to herself the tears flowing from her eyes, 'thank you James,' she whispered.

'Nothin' to thank me for darlin',' James replied, 'now I'll leave you to dress up, and make sure Healer ain't gonna walk in on you, then I'll give you the tour of Krakoa,' and with a wink he left her to get dressed.