Chapter 8: You told me when you got your first car, that you and I would go for a drive
Summary: Previously: When Ron celebrates getting good news about a University Football scholarship, Lavender gets jealous and raises an argument. Ron responds by choosing Hermione over Lavender, ultimately breaking things off with Lav-Lav. Hermione is finally ready to explain to Ron why she fled to France.
Notes: Its here - the penultimate chapter! The chapter in which I am sure you are all waiting for! Hold on - for an epilogue of sorts
"Shall we go for a drive?"
Hermione looks up at him, eyebrows creased.
"I told you when I got a car, I'd take you for a drive, no?"
"You take me to school every day?" Hermione grins slightly.
"I mean, just us two. Like I used to with the twins' car."
They round the corner to the student car park, Ron's blue ford in its usual spot. She smiles at him, surprised at his memory. Hermione has taken to pushing those types of memories to the back of her mind, they only hurt her usually.
Now, however, she happily remembers. Already, the tension between them has disappeared, like taking Lavender out of the equation was all they needed. Deep down, Hermione knows the rift between her, and Ron is not because of Lavender, it's Hermione's fault.
Ron waits for Hermione to open the passenger door, a nervousness to his expression. Hermione reckons it's because of her habit of running away and she grimaces. She gives him a shy smile as she opens the door and slides in. She swears she hears Ron sigh a breath of relief and she can't help but dig her nails into her thighs, emotions running too high for her to handle right now.
The silence isn't awkward like it has been recently. It's comforting to know that she hasn't ruined this easiness between them both and a surge of hope floods her chest.
"Anywhere you want to go?" Ron asks, clipping his seatbelt on, hands on the wheel.
Hermione's eyes drift to his hands, memories flashing forward abruptly.
"The Sunflowers?"
She's met with silence and she worries that she's gone too fast, opening fresh wounds. She looks up, and instead finds him flushed, biting down a smile.
"Yeah? Are you sure?"
She's not sure what to make of the question, so she offers him a muffled "yes."
They set off, Hermione quickly sending a short text to Harry, explaining their whereabouts in case he goes looking.
"Are you upset?" Hermione breaks the tension with a whisper.
"About?"
"Lavender."
Ron's staring out at the road, his jaw relaxed and his hands soft on the wheel.
"No, not really. It was coming."
Hermione frowns.
"I hadn't realised you liked her."
"I told you before, Mione. I didn't know I liked her. It just happened."
"How?"
Hermione doesn't know why she wants to know how they happened, maybe it's the curiosity in her or maybe she just wants to punish herself.
"There was a party at Seamus'. She was there, I was drunk and upset and well…"
Hermione's stomach churns as she pictures Lavender consoling a drunk Ron.
"Right."
"Look, I'll be honest. It wasn't romantic, it wasn't gentlemanly at all. It was nice enough, it was nice having someone that liked me," he pauses, and Hermione looks up to find his grip tightening on the wheel, "I was upset about you leaving, you hadn't returned my calls and I just needed someone to care."
Her heart clenches.
"Ron, I care."
He chances a brief look at her, tearing his eyes from the road.
"I know. I was just confused."
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you." She says softly, hoping her sincerity is shown through her tone.
He nods.
"Why?" He breathes the words as if he's not sure if he wants to know and it makes Hermione's heart break.
She catches a sob in her throat but continues, "I was overwhelmed." It's a sorry excuse but it's the truth.
"By what?"
"You."
Ron turns his head frantically, shock evident in his dropped jaw.
"What did I do?" His voice is laden with panic and Hermione quickly sits up straight and yells at him to look at the road.
"You didn't do anything. It was me; I was in over my head; I couldn't be near you without my heart breaking."
Ron doesn't reply but she notices the way his eyebrows furrow as he drives.
"I was feeling too much. It was hard being so close to you." She pauses, thinks about what she wants to say next, she wants to tell him everything, but she always doesn't want to scare him. The pause comes conveniently, Ron is rolling up to the sunflower fields. The afternoon sun beams down on the flowers, their golden faces pointing up. They both sit in silence for a minute, both looking out at the quiet field, Hermione planning out what to say in her head.
Ron is the first to snap his seatbelt undone, first to open the door and leave the car. She watches wistfully as he walks towards the flowers. There's no fence to separate the tall flowers from the road, just a grassy path. He stands, his hands in his pockets. Hermione takes the moment to really look at him, drink in his lean figure, his height, his red hair in the sunlight.
When she finally gets out the car, Ron turns around, take his hands out of his pockets. His eyes sharp on her and eyebrows pinched.
"What do you mean, by heart-breaking? What did I do to make you feel that way?" His voice is stern, almost angry and Hermione stammers her next words.
"I- It wasn't you. It was me. I broke my own heart. I made myself feel this way."
"Hermione, please talk sense."
She wanders to his side, looking towards the sunflowers. He joins her by pivoting, his height makes it so he towers over her when he looks at her.
"Do you remember the last time we came here?"
"Start of the summer holidays?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah." He mumbles.
"You held my hand so easily…" She says it so quietly, so morosely that she's not sure he's heard until he looks down at her.
She looks up to find him looking at her hand, dangling helplessly beside her, inches from his own.
"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." He whispers.
"It was too comfortable, Ron."
He spins to face her this time, his eyebrows drawn, confused.
"Mione, please," he begs.
"I love you, Ron."
Ron tilts his head in confusion.
"Yeah, and I love you too." He answers simply.
"No, I love you. As in, I couldn't hold your hand because I wanted you more than a friend. I'm in love with you."
She can't look at him, instead she looks out at the sunflowers. Tries to memorise the colours, the scent, the nostalgia feeling she associates with the field.
"Hermione."
His voice is soft, pleading.
She looks up, finds his blue eyes. He steps forward.
"Mione, I love you too."
Hermione is too busy looking into his eyes to really hear the words. Ron has to cup her cheeks with his palms to get a reaction from her.
"Mione, I don't just hold my friend's hands."
She crinkles her brows.
He laughs. Its gentle and welcoming and surprising.
"You can't love me; you were with Lavender just hours ago." She whispers.
He shakes his head.
"I never loved her. It's awful of me, I know, but I was only trying to get lost in her to get over you."
Hermione's hands find his elbows, his skin feels warm, and she grips onto him strongly.
"What do you mean?"
"I was going to tell you, that day. Here." He looks out at the sunflowers but quickly returns his gaze to her. His eyes rove her face, the tops of her cheeks, his hands on her jaw.
"I thought you liked me too. I thought it was going well…"
"Until I panicked…" Hermione whispers.
"Until you panicked and ran off to France?"
She nods, cups his hands on her jaw with her own hands. She wants them to stay there, she needs them.
"I needed space. I've never felt this way before and I thought you didn't feel the same. I thought you were mocking me."
"Why would you think that?"
"I find it hard to understand how people feel, I'm not good at reading people."
Ron nods understandingly.
"I thought you pitied me. My mother used to say you would outgrow me."
"Never." He says sternly.
"You don't know that."
"Hermione, you get me. Yes- you might think you can't read people very well and maybe in this case yes but normally, you understand me more than I do."
She steps forward, moving her hands to his chest. He smiles at her movement.
"I love you." He says again, stressing the you.
Lily laughs, she can't quite believe it. Ron, saying those words after so long. Them meaning something.
He grins at her laugh and tilts his head, so his forehead leans on hers.
"Mione?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I kiss you now?"
She shuts her eyes and smiles, "Yes."
He kisses her softly, slowly. His hands drift to cup the back of her head, under her ears. Its short and sweet, and a perfect first kiss. Not her first, her first kiss was a rushed sloppy mess with a foreign exchange student when she was fourteen. She's now seventeen and has no idea kisses could be this intense.
She grabs his t-shirt with her fists, opens her mouth slightly, asking for more. He gives it so her, gently opening with hers, swiping his tongue gently over her bottom lip. A small, timid groan escapes her mouth, and she feels Ron tense beneath her fists.
The kiss evolves. Evolves into something all-consuming. Something that makes Hermione's heartbeat rapidly but also settle into an exciting rhythm, a beat only for Ron.
Minute's pass, and Hermione pulls away, out of breath and rosy cheeked.
"Wow." She whispers.
Ron is also red-faced and out of breath and the look on him, does something to her. Makes her jaw clench, eyes go wide.
"We should have done that sooner." He mumbles.
Hermione laughs, loud and giggly. Ron joins her, his entire face now red.
He brings her to him, clutches her to his chest.
"Ron?" Hermione murmurs into his t-shirt.
"Mm?"
"We can't really go around holding hands. I mean - at school."
Ron pulls away slightly to look down at her, "why?"
"Lavender?"
Ron's mouth takes the shape of an 'o'.
"The girlfriend you just broke up with." Hermione adds, trying to lighten the scorn in her voice. She knows they are both in the wrong here, but she's not wasting anymore time.
"Right. Well, its half-term soon, we can still be together then, right?" He asks, hopefully.
"Yeah, of course." She says softly, braving a light kiss on his lips. He smiles at the move.
"Maybe we just keep it on the down low at school for the time being?"
"I think that's the best idea." Hermione adds, bringing her head back down to his chest. She's in awe of the closeness, loves it, adores how he smells, how he feels.
"Can we tell Harry?"
She smiles.
"Of course, and Ginny."
He presses a kiss to her head.
"It's getting a bit darker; do you want to go somewhere else?" He asks.
"Mine?"
He doesn't reply, instead he pulls her out of their hug, clasps her hand in his and pulls her towards the car.
This time, he opens the passenger door for her. She laughs gently at the gesture but she's sure he spots the blush adorning her cheeks. She can't stop blushing; she finds this all ridiculous to be honest. That they've spent so long not being like this. It feels so natural, and Hermione's mind is reeling.
He walks around to his side once she's in, he grabs the steering wheel with one hand, changes the car into drive and offers his hand to Hermione.
Hermione falters. She doesn't quite remember an instance in which Ron has done this with Lavender, but she does remember them holding hands.
"Mione?" his voice wavers slightly.
She looks up and bites her lip, unsure on how she feels.
"Mione? It's you. It's always been you."
His eyes are full of something she's seen before, and it takes her a moment to figure it out. Its love. He loves her.
She tentatively places her hand in his and she stares at their clasped hands as he pulls out and starts driving.
This time, it doesn't scare her.
This time, she doesn't want to let go.