CHAPTER 4

This trip had totally mystified her. Tissaia felt vulnerable… and when that happened, she tried to focus on her tasks, her girls, her roles, in order to get that feeling away from her.

This time it was no different. The week after the event, she threw himself into the school. As she was very used to pretending, to showing the world her ice mask even though her interior burned, no one from her closest environment noticed the embarrassment she felt.

She tried to stay away from the windows, not to leave the corridors assigned to her students, not to cross the courtyards, and to use the common rooms as little as possible. With this regime she had managed not to cross Finrod even once in those days ... and with that it seemed that calm was accompanying her again.

While she was sorting and reviewing some reports sitting in her office, she heard two knocks on the closed door.

- Go ahead! - She shouted without looking away from the desk

The door opened and she began to hear heavy footsteps heading toward the center of the room. When she looked up, she saw him, standing there, with that characteristic half smile painted on his face.

- We have not seen much these days and I came to ask how you are.

After a brief silence and looking down at the papers again, as if she wanting to show total indifference, Tissaia replied:

- If I had needed something from you I would have already asked for it, don't you think?

She noticed how he walked slowly to the other end of the desk and put his hands on it.

- I have to go away for a few days and I wouldn't want you to need anything while I'm away… So now is the time to order.

- I already told you that I don't need anything, thank you - Tissaia said without looking up.

- Ok! - Finrod muttered, pulling his hands away from the desk and heading for the door.

Tissaia knew that he was being kind and she was too cold… but things had to continue like this, even if she offered that image of a ruthless witch that everyone saw in her. Cold and calculating to remain powerful ...

- Do you need tobacco? I have heard that in a town near Cintra they sell the best varieties on the Continent.

That question threw her off again. How did he know that she smoked tobacco? Had he ever seen her? Had he asked Triss or Yennefer about her tastes? Why was he offering it to her? Why so much hassle?

This time she looked up, surprised, though trying very hard to maintain her composure: her catlike gaze, her erect posture, her chin up.

He was observing her from the door and when their gazes met again he returned to the edge of the desk, closer to her, gaining ground, pressing.

- So? - Finrod insisted - How do you like it? Very dry? Citric? Cured?

- Spicy - she sentenced.

Again that sly smile that weakened her inside and confused her ...

- It wasn't that difficult, was it? - He asked as he walked back towards the door- I'll be back in three or four days, I'm still not sure. The whole school is in your charge. I have already told my boys that they ask you for anything.

Tissaia nodded, willing the conversation to end at once.

- I leave the central courtyard with three other men, in an hour or so.

- Have a nice trip then.

With a nod and one last look, Finrod left the room.

Tissaia had understood. He wanted her to come down and see him off, even though the motive eluded her. Was it to show off in front of his peers? To demonstrate his superiority to her? Or did he really want to see her again?

That hour disappeared immediately, lost as she was in speculations and thoughts ... She would not go down. She couldn't allow him that satisfaction. She had to continue in her role, for her sake, for Aretuza.

However, as her office window looked out onto the patio, she couldn't suppress the urge to peer through the curtains.

There he was, surrounded by his boys, as always. He gave one instructions, with others he laughed, he patted on the back the little ones ... and sometimes he looked towards the door, as if waiting for someone who had not yet arrived, and his face darkened. He was looking for her ...

Just as Tissaia was about to draw the curtain back and go back to her desk, he looked up. Tissaia felt her skin crawl from the nape of the neck to the tip of the big toe.

This time the smile that characterized him did not appear on his face ... it was another type of gaze, another expression that left Tissaia completely paralyzed, not knowing what to do or how to act.

And in front of everyone he began to curtsy without taking his eyes off the window. Tissaia was forced to tilt her head in response and quickly, after a final meeting of their pupils, moved away from the window.

Her heart was pounding… and she knew it was desire. A desire without control.