CHAPTER 5

Five days. It was five days of absence. Life at school had continued at its normal pace, perhaps with a little more work coming from the male branch of Ban Ard than had been her responsibility during those days.

While rearranging some medicinal plants in the greenhouse, Tissaia heard someone approach and enter the room. The smell of leather and cardamom filled the room and Tissaia's heart instinctively raced without warning.

-I already thought you would not return - Tissaia advanced without turning around.

- Did you think so? - Finrod intervened, moving closer to her.

- You said you would be gone for three days, four at the most.

- I've only been one day late ... have you missed me so much?

At that moment, Tissaia turned around, meeting him a lot closer than she thought. Barely a meter separated them.

- You are not as essential as you think.

- I thought that ...

From the pocket of his black and brown leather jacket he took out a small wrapped package and held it out to her.

- I hope you like it ... they told me it was the best they had in a long time.

-You shouldn't have bothered - Tissaia replied, taking the package as she began to carefully unwrap it.

- It's not a bother ... I just wanted to have a detail with you.

She sniffed carefully at those shredded tobacco leaves and found that they were surely the best thing she had ever tasted in her life.

And that appreciation bothered her. It bothered her because it didn't have to be that way. He shouldn't have given her anything as a gift, he wouldn't even have to have found out that she smoked. They wouldn't have to be talking like lifelong friends, or exchanging gifts every time one of them went on a trip.

He had no right to look at her as he was doing at that precise moment and she would not have to notice how she blushed and lost control every time she was with him in the same room, writing reports, organizing the education of their students or holding a tobacco packet.

And that was what happened. And everything around and inside her told her that there was nothing she could do to control the chaos that was invading and destroying everything.

- Thanks, I guess - And she went to the opposite side of the greenhouse leaving Finrod leaning on the shelves where she was working before.

She put the package in one of the desk drawers and took the keys with the intention of leaving the room as soon as possible. Finrod noticed that detail and headed for the door, standing in the doorway until Tissaia closed and locked it. Then he spoke before she slipped away:

- I have to go again.

Tissaia, who had already started walking down the hall, leaving him behind, stopped and turned again.

- I only came to check that everything at school was still in order. However, the King still requires my presence in Cintra.

- Well, you see that everything is still the same ... you could have saved the trip.

- But then I wouldn't have had the chance to see you ...

With the courage that Tissaia believed lost, she closed the distance that separated them and, staring at him, asked:

- Are you flirting with me?

- Would you like it?

- I asked you a question ...

- Has anyone ever flirted with you, Rector? Or has your coldness paralyzed them before they dared? - The closeness to his face was beginning to be a true hell for Tissaia, a magnet from which she could not move away and at the same time an open wound that bled non-stop - It is important that you know that nothing stops me: not even the cold, neither the heat nor the pain.

There were barely a few inches left between them. Tissaia could feel his breath on her, the anxious breath rushing over her, the strong hand that was trying to cup her cheek ...

- Tissaia?

A step back from the two of them, a bow of the head and a quick turn in the opposite direction left Tissaia in front of one of her students who was staring at her.

- Did you want something?

- No ... nothing, I ... - she stammered - I ... just wanted to take from the greenhouse ginger roots that Miss Merigold has asked me to find for a class ...

- I'll open you, come on.

Turning, intending to head once more toward the greenhouse, she found that Finrod had already disappeared.

There was no reverse. Without intending it, she had revealed him with a few words and that approach that he was not as indifferent as she wanted him to believe. Tissaia headed for the Ban Ard building to meet him, or at least to know about his imminent departure.

As she crossed the threshold, she approached two boys who were chatting away in the corner of the building.

- Do you know where the Rector is?

- Uh ... I think he's back, but he's leaving now again.

- Have you seen him around here or do you know he's already gone?

- He crossed a moment ago and was heading towards the courtyard. He is probably about to leave.

- Thanks…

With quick steps, but without running, Tissaia headed toward the central courtyard. Five days ago she had refused to formally dismiss him and now she was afraid of losing the opportunity to see him leave. Everything had changed dramatically ... but she didn't want to stop to think. She did not want to think so as not to discover the void that opened at her feet and into which she was rushing.

And there he was, finishing saddling his horse, not noticing how she was approaching from behind. The boys who accompanied him, seeing her, withdrew a little to leave them some privacy. At this unexpected movement, Finrod turned just enough to see the figure approaching his horse and beginning to stroke its back.

- You haven't told me when you come back this time.

- In a week.

"So long?" Tissaia thought without actually verbalizing it. She preferred to look away and focus on playing with the saddle straps. As he still didn't add anything else, she threw a question that instantly regretted form.

- Is there any woman?

A loud laugh broke the air around them ...

- Do the whores of Cintra fit into your definition of a woman?

- You know exactly what I mean - Tissaia answered a little embarrassed about the question.

- No ... - he took a step closer to her and raised his arm over the saddle, letting his fingers brush the hand that was playing with the reins - none.

Again the fear, the confusion, remembering who she was and what her role was ... the emptiness that rose, leaving her breathless. She pulled away just enough to cancel any kind of contact between them.

- Have a good trip ... again.

- Will you miss me? - He shouted to make himself audible in the space that already separated them when Tissaia began to walk towards the arches that delimited the courtyard with the building.

Stopping short, she turned slowly, looked at him, and although she knew they were not alone, she replied:

- Maybe a little.