When she went back to her apartment after lunch, she wasn't expecting anyone to be there. It was her twentieth birthday, and in the last eight days, she had not gotten a single letter from Uldren. He must have been very, very busy. Of course, he probably didn't know today was her birthday. She couldn't ever remember telling him when it was. But he had never gone more than a week without writing to her. She couldn't help feeling like he was avoiding her. Had one night really ruined everything?

She opened her door and went inside, but she had hardly put her things away when she heard a knock on her door. She went to see who it was. If it was Kiren, she wasn't going to answer, not on her birthday. But it wasn't Kiren. She threw the door open. "Uldren!"

"Hey, Petra," He sounded strangely nervous as he came in.

"Hey! How are you?"

"I'm good. Sorry. Happy birthday. I know you didn't tell me when it was but I looked it up in your record months ago so I could surprise you. I brought you something. I was going to give it to you for the Dawning, but it didn't come in time, so happy birthday, I guess."

She beamed at him. "Aww, thank you! You're so sweet." She had certainly not expected this! He had made time to come see her and gotten her something! It would be her first real birthday present.

He fumbled with something in his cloak pocket, pulling it out and offering it to her. She took it, her hands shaking slightly when she saw what it was. It was a small velvet box, square and almost flat. A box like that could only hold one thing. She slowly opened it and gazed at the necklace inside. It was made of two gold hearts twisted together, set with what looked suspiciously like diamonds, and two smaller ruby hearts inside them. She didn't want to imagine how expensive it must have been.

"You hate it, don't you? I'm sorry, I know it isn't very useful, I just thought-"

"No, no, It's beautiful!" She pulled it out and tried to put it on. He helped her clasp it around her neck, moving her hair out of the way. "Oh, Uldren, I love it. You're so thoughtful!" she looked up at his anxious face, leaning in to give him an eager kiss. It was almost like he was slipping back into his old worries, desperate to please her. There was clearly something bothering him that he needed to talk about. "It means so much to me. You spend so much of your time with me and quite a bit of your money, too, from the looks of it. No one has ever cared about me the way you do, but I don't need to try anyone else's love to know that yours is the best. I don't even know how to tell you how wonderful I think you are. You're so generous, and sweet, and oh, you make me feel so special. I'm going to wear it every day. What's the matter, baby?" she gently touched his face, sliding her finger down the crease in his brow that always formed when he was stressed. "You're worried about something."

"It's alright, we don't have to talk about it right now. It's your birthday."

"But I wouldn't like you to be unhappy on my birthday. Come on, you know you can tell me anything."

He hesitated. "I... are you... are you mad at me?"

"No, why?"

"When I left after the last time I was here you were acting like you were mad at me."

"Oh, no, I wasn't. I'm so sorry. I was mad at myself, honestly, for being stupid. We just weren't thinking about what we were doing."

"I thought it was really nice," he muttered, looking away. "I knew that no matter what happened or what changed, when I woke up, you'd still be right there. I wasn't afraid at all."

"Neither was I. Falling asleep and warm and safe in your arms and waking up still with you was the nicest feeling in the world. But right now, we don't have the luxury of spending every night together. That's why it's so dangerous. Just that one night made us want them all, and we didn't even fully share ourselves with each other. We have to avoid that kind of temptation. I didn't want you to leave. I wanted you to stay and I wanted to run away with you. That's why we can't do that."

"But what would be so bad about running away together?"

"It just seems wrong."

"Being with me seems wrong?"

"No, no! It isn't you. We'd be abandoning the Reef, we... whenever I became a corsair, it felt like I'd finally found my purpose: to protect the Reef and fight for the Reef, and I just want to go back to the Reef. It's my home. I've never left it before now."

"The Reef has been my home for more than five hundred years! It's the third place I've tried to call home and I wanted it to be, you know, my forever home, but I don't care anymore! Home isn't a place, it's you. I just want to be with you." He sighed, sitting down on the couch and putting his face in his hands. "Maybe you just don't care about me the way I care about you."

"Uldren!" she felt her heart clench in terror and sat down next to him, throwing her arms around him.

"See, I'm ruining your birthday!"

"No, you aren't! You needed to talk about this." She leaned her head on his shoulder, rubbing her hand across his back. "Oh, Uldren, have you been thinking this whole time that I don't love you?"

"No. I don't know! I'm just really confused and always worried about something and I overthink everything! You're the most important thing in the world to me and I guess it feels like your job is more important to you than I am. I guess it sounds selfish and I can't really ask you to give up everything but I just want to know that I'm the most important thing to you. I want to know that I am to you what you are to me."

"That makes sense, and you are. It's just..." She exhaled slowly. "You're a very emotional person. You feel what you feel and you want what you want. I'm not like that. I have to think about things logically. I don't try to reason with love but there are some things I just don't think are wise for us right now. I'm trying to help both of us. If we keep going like this, sure, it'll be painful in the moment to be separate, but someday, I will come home and I can have the Reef and my job, and you. If I had to pick, I'd pick you. They don't make me happy the way you do. But I just know they're right for me, like I know you are, and I know if I wait, I can have both. You won't have to lose so many good things, too. You know you'd miss your sister."

"You're better than Mara."

"You'd still miss her."

"I guess..."

"And if we keep going like this, when it's over, we can look back and say, 'look what we made it through.' Love isn't an easy road. It will be hard sometimes, because neither of us are perfect and this world is a tough place to be. But when it gets hard, we can say, 'We already survived a long time of separation and hardship, we can get through this, too.' But if we quit, it's like saying our love isn't strong enough to be put to the test. If we can only love each other when it's easy we'll fall apart when it's hard." she rubbed her face against his. "Please, baby, even if you don't get it, trust me, it'll be worth it. I need to get through this, and I love you more than anything. I love you with all my heart so that there's hardly room in there to love anything else. How can I show you how much I love you?"

He slowly put his arms around her, holding her close. She soaked up his reassuring warmth, yielding to it as he whispered, "I think I get it, but I just want you, all of you. If I can't have you right now, won't you promise me to share your whole self with me when you come home? We won't be tempted to leave or quit when we can be together all the time. Just say you'll stop resisting me then and sleep with me every night and let me have you. I'll be all yours, too, I'll give you myself in return."

"Of course, I promise. I'd love nothing more."

He pressed his lips to her neck, keeping his arms tight around her. "Then I'll wait happily, my love, and trust that someday you'll be mine."

All their conflict now resolved; they shared a warm, loving kiss. It was without a doubt the best birthday she'd ever had, snuggled up in his arms, his fingers in her hair and her head on his chest. "I love you, you know," she whispered, gazing up into his golden eyes. "So if you ever get yourself worked up over some bullshit again, I've officially said it. I love you."

"Sometimes I can't help worrying! I know the truth in my heart, it's my head that spins everything around and out of control."

"Well, I love you. Take that." She poked him playfully.

He laughed. "I love you too, baby."

She grinned at him. The words rolled off her tongue so easily now, not like when they had first fallen in love. No one had ever before told her that they loved her and she hadn't really known how to handle it. Her sisters would've mocked her for loving them, and she couldn't be vulnerable with them when they exploited her every weakness. She had been so timid, at first, with Uldren, letting him initiate all the affection, but now she was kissing him and calling him 'baby' and telling him she loved him as often as he did all those things for her. Today, she was the strong, confident one. His love was who she was, and seeing him so vulnerable in his love for her strengthened her. He had given her so much, and she had enough now to repay him. "Also, I don't exactly have access to everyone's personal records, so you'll have to tell me when your birthday is. So I can do something for you."

"June 23rd," he mumbled, squeezing her. "And don't feel the need to buy me any jewelry."

"Oh, that was never an option. I'm poor. I don't even want to know how much this cost. You're crazy."

"Perks of dating a Prince, I guess. It isn't as beautiful as you."

"Thanks." She fiddled with her necklace. "I'll find you something just as special, even if I don't have such a big budget."

"Whatever it is, I'll love it."

"Promise?"

"Yeah. Promise."

"Good. I love you, by the way. Don't you dare forget that."

"I won't. I love you too." He kissed her. "Happy Birthday."