The next two weeks were a blur for Amelia. After sending word to The Order, she hardly had time to adjust to her surroundings or become acclimated to her host. He sent in his resignation to the school board and spent every hour finding ways to be absolutely infuriating. Sometimes he was silent, other times she found him fascinating, other times she wanted to kill him. It was a lot.
Almost immediately they jumped into impromptu occlumency lessons in-between light-hearted banter and the occasional "heated discussion". But mostly he was quiet, always watching and teaching when needed. He was training her even when she didn't know it.
The lessons were not difficult for the witch per say, but they were different than what she was used to.
Amelia's first few days were exceptionally difficult. Between Severus' mood swings and trying to master her mind as well as the constant nagging of her ultimate demise had her in a foul mood.
They had plenty of arguments about her lessons as well as quarrels about more trivial things. The intensity of the fighting became less and less as the week wore on. Soon it turned into light sparring and word play, venturing on slight flirtation (mostly from her). That soon became their way of communication. It seemed to be the only cathartic release they had. Insults followed by smirks followed by exhausting lessons followed by smug remarks and hidden chuckles.
All together, Amelia was enjoying his company but she would never him know that.
"You need to focus. You need to concentrate." He said after an hour of trying to break into her head, clearly annoyed with her "progress" that evening.
"I am! This is difficult!" A light sheen of sweat covering her face. She massaged her temples and closed her eyes. "I'm used to keeping people out of my brain, not inviting them in."
"Does a door not swing both ways?" He stood calmly, his previous irritation evaporated almost immediately. That was the part that both unnerved and intrigued Amelia. He was a literal light switch. Feral one minute and collected the next.
Amelia rolled her neck in annoyance. "I'm.trying. Mr Miyagi." She said through her teeth.
"Trying... will get you killed." He said plainly.
Amelias eyebrows furrowed as she started chewing on the inside of her cheek. He was right and it made her feel like an ungrateful child.
"Explain to me again why they need to see into my mind?" She asked softly.
Severus sat in his worn chair and sighed. It was after all their fourth go today and it was draining, not to mention nearly 11pm. Seeing this Amelia plopped into the floor with her legs outstretched, welcoming the much needed break.
"It's important for them to be able to see into your mind so you can gain their trust."
"Right." She said as she laid on her back, closing her eyes.
Severus watched her from his chair, focusing on the steady rise and fall of her chest. As much as he hated to admit it to himself, he did find her attractive but the worst part was it wasn't only physically. He enjoyed her mind as well. She was intelligent and witty but also incredibly naive. She didn't retreat at his snarky remarks but instead ignored or jabbed back. She wasn't hardened by war which made her an innocent. A protectiveness grew inside of him and it scared him.
'This is a job and she is a pawn just as you were.'
Shaking himself from his trance he continued. "The difficult part about letting someone into your mind is showing them what you want without being obvious about what you don't."
"Right right right..." she sighed. Amelia was tired. Fourteen days of surprise brain attacks can really wear on you."Tomorrow can we just practice speaking telepathically? Work on my mind reading? I really need a break from this."
Severus thought for a moment. "Yes i suppose that's...alright."
"For now, do you think we could just have a drink and talk about the weather or something?"
Severus scoffed "The weather?"
"Yes. Isn't that what British people talk about?" She smiled to herself while staring at the crack in the ceiling.
"Oh yes. Then after we shall talk about baseball and sports cars." He countered.
Rolling over she held her head in her hands smiling from ear to ear. "Actually I think it's more football and reality TV."
"Gods, spare me." Severus chucked slightly as Amelia laughed. It was the first time in a long time she had truly laughed. When Severus laughed it was a real treat. Something that was still foreign to both their ears.
"Your deadpan tone makes everything you say so much funnier."
A black brow raised as he walked towards the tea kettle. "My voice seems to be the only good thing about me." Severus said this as if it was a painful confession, his words quiet. Amelia wasn't sure if she was supposed to even hear it.
Amelia stood up, wanting to walk up behind him and touch his arm. Reassure him. Comfort him. He was a strong man but he was only human. They didn't know one other that well, but Amelia found this man ambiguous and felt oddly safe in his presence.
She took two steps forward and resisted her urge to come closer. "I don't think that's true. There are plenty of things I like about you." At that Amelia's entire face went red.
For the second time that night Severus scoffed at her, his eyes fixed on the tea he was making. "You know nothing about me."
"Then help me to." Now she was standing closer, too close for this conversation. It wasn't a topic he was comfortable talking about at all let alone with a woman he was just admiring standing so close.
Severus looked into her pleading eyes. Suddenly he was hit with the realization, she needed him. He was once again only a tool. A way to benefit her. Worst of all, she was going to leave him and very likely, meet an untimely fate.
He couldn't take it anymore. The air around them grew warm, uncomfortably so. He needed air, he needed to get out of there. He needed to get away from her.
Grabbing his tea, he walked out of the room and slammed his bedroom door behind him, leaving Amelia alone in his kitchen.
'Youre a fool if you think he could ever possibly want to open up to you.' Was what she heard in her head over and over again until she was met with sleep.
The next day the now roommates sat in companionable silence over a cup of coffee. Amelia wrapped her hands around the mug and was in her usual spot on the floor, facing Severus from across the small table. She had her eyes closed as she relished in the warm, bitter liquid.
"Do you stress easily?" Severus asked after taking a sip from his mug.
Amelia opened her eyes and smirked at him. "I am the most highstrung person on the planet...I just hide it well." Her voice still heavy with sleep.
Severus nodded, taking another sip and thinking over her words. His fingers danced in the rim of his mug. "What...are your biggest stressors. What makes you anxious?"
Amelia thought for a moment entranced by his moving fingers. "Umm..." She stammered, pulling her eyes away, leaning back and resting on her palms. She looked like the most carefree person in the world. Completely relaxed and at peace. Ironic given the subject of their current conversation.
"Hmmm" she hummed. "I would have to say...large crowds and being alone."
Severus raised a black brow at her and smirked. "As well as everything in between no doubt"
Amelia chuckled at him and rolled her eyes. "No!... well... maybe..." She giggled and finished off her cup.
Severus watched her closely. Silently thanking the Gods for bringing him some company that he didn't want to murder. She looked content and at ease with the world. She was bright and funny. Kind and accepting. Not at all someone who should be trained as a spy.
"Go get ready...we need to go get supplies."
"Supplies?"
"Food."
"Oh...grocery stores stress me out as well." Amelia stood and headed towards her room. She heard a quiet "Good" before she closed the door.
Amelia walked up and down the aisles of the store alone, carrying a basket with a carton of eggs in it so she didn't look like a complete weirdo.
Severus pushed a cart on the other side of the store. Leisurely walking about, picking up items and reading the backs of them. Some were thrown into the cart while others were left behind.
They were essentially playing a game of Marko Polo. Amelia's heightened senses blocking out her natural mind reading abilities.
10 minutes passed and she heard nothing from the strangers around her. Turning a corner she ran right into Severus. Amelias face looked defeated. "I'm so upset! I can't even pick up on an old lady buying grapes. This is humiliating." She felt like she was going to cry.
Severus ran both of his hands up and down her arms slowly. He looked into her eyes and animatedly breathed in and out. Amelia watched him, her eyes glassy and nodded, breathing in then out shakily. She nodded at him again signaling she was ready as they turned around to try once more.
This time Severus walked next to her.
'The woman in the gray blouse...' He asked without words.
She took a deep breath and focused on the woman 30 feet away. Amelias hand rested next to Severus' on the cart handle. He could feel her warmth and smell her perfume. White tea and ginger he noted. It made him swallow thickly.
Amelia's face scrunched up in concentration. "Um...she's thinking...she's thinkinnnggg..." Amelia let out a puff of air about to give up. "OH! She's thinking about someone she works with! She's replaying a conversation in her head! Wow this Jennifer woman sounds like a bitch."
At that Severus laughed causing Amelia to jump and laugh as well. "Very good...let's continue."
They both left the store about two hours later, both speaking to one another silently without realizing it.
The next month carried on in a similar fashion. Amelia training during more stressful periods of the day. Not only did it hone her skills but it also have her something to focus on when she was anxious.
Severus had helped her more than he knew.
"The Cranberries?" Amelia asked late one evening. It had been a long day and they had decided to wind down with a bottle...or two...of wine and some music.
Amelia flipped the case in her hands and smiled at it, a mostly empty glass of red in her other hand. She was once again on the floor with dozens of CDs spread out around her. "The Cranberries is one of my favorite bands."
"mhm." Severus nodded as he took a small sip of his.
"What's your favorite song?"
Severus brows rose "Of The Cranberries?" he paused "Linger"
"Oooo mine too...and Dreams of course. Zombie is great but so depressing." Amelia put the CD down and searched for another. "Queen...The Beatles... Tragically Hip?" She looked at him and smiled. "I'm impressed."
Severus raised his glass to her before he finished it off.
"I don't see..." She got on all fours as she swiped the disc cases away, looking for one in particular. That was a vision that would never let Severus be for the rest of his days. "Saaamm...SAM COOKE!" She grabbed the CD excitedly and placed it in the player. "I knew you wouldn't disappoint." She grinned wickedly.
"Depends on who you ask and in what context."
Amelia smirked and rolled her eyes at him, flipping through the songs until she reached the desired track.
As the sound of a piano filled the room, Amelia sat back on the floor and closed her eyes, her head swaying back to the melodic tune.
Severus watched as she quietly sang along to the song, terribly off key.
Her eyes shot open and she said excitedly "Oh this is the best part!" She raised her finger and sang "Yeah!" then pointed down and dropped her voice comedically low "Yeah" and repeated. Severus smirked at her as she giggled to herself. The wine clearly taking effect.
Her eyes were once again closed and before Severus knew what he was doing, he grabbed her by the hand and hoisted her up.
He placed both of her hands on his shoulders as his went to her waist.
Amelia smiled slightly embarrassed but giddy. "I can't dance just as a warning." Her voice breathy and laced with wine.
"I can teach you." Severus said quietly. His eyes never leaving hers. After a moment their bodies shifted closer as the song went on, her hands moving from his shoulders to around his neck, his from her waist to her hips.
She could feel his hot breath on her face. His eyes shifting from her eyes to her lips. They were parted ever so slightly. Her cheeks flushed from both the alcohol and the closeness of their bodies.
The song ended but neither moved. Amelia's large eyes searching his face, wanting so desperately for him to kiss her.
Her heart raced as his face moved down to hers and he pressed his lips to the corner of her mouth. She closed her eyes and let out a shuddered breath. 'almost'.
"It's late... we should turn in for the night." Severus stepped away as Amelia nodded, slightly disappointed.
Severus took her small hand in his and kissed her knuckles. His lips lingering longer than just a "friendly" kiss would.
"Goodnight Amelia" He bowed his head at her and left towards his room.
'please...PLEASE' Amelia bolted upright in bed, sweat covering her forehead. She looked around the room disoriented, the haunting pleas still echoing in her head. She rubbed her temples and closed her eyes 'it was only a nightmare' she thought and went to lay back down.
Just as her body began to relax, she realized, 'that wasn't my voice' then it happened again. This time the cries of anguish were accompanied with whimpers. Suddenly it dawned on her. It was Severus. Somehow she could hear him crying and begging over and over again. The room was silent yet her mind felt like it was being thrown through a meat grinder.
Hurdling herself out of bed and running straight into his room, she saw Severus thrashing and clawing at his sheets. The moon just casting enough light to be able to make out the state of his room. The covers half on the floor, his bare chest rising and falling rapidly as if he was running. His face looked like he was in immense pain yet the only sounds in the room were coming from his shallow breathing.
In Amelia's mind however she could still hear him screaming. She had to wake him up. Casting a quick lumos she approached the side of his bed and called out to him. No response, the screaming in her head continued. "SEVERUS!" she yelled in his face, still nothing.
Grabbing both shoulders she shook him hard and yelled his name again. Before she knew what was happening she was flipped onto her back, her wand flying into the air and clattering somewhere on the floor. One of his hands caught both of her wrists and shoved them over her head while the other grabbed her throat and began squeezing.
"S-Sever..." She croaked as his hand tightened definitely bruising her neck. His face was unrecognizable. His teeth were bared as if he were a ravage dog. She tried to wiggle out of his grasp but he had her body pinned securely under his own. With all of her strength she tried to bring her arms down onto his tightening grip but no luck.
Amelia's eyes became blurry as black started creeping around her vision. She gasped and kicked but her efforts were futile.
Just as she was about to black out she could hear what sounded like the beating of wings. Thinking momentarily that it was her pulse raging in her ears, she accepted her fate. But then she heard a sharp gasp.
The pressure was no longer on her neck as she gasped and choked air back into her lungs. Forcefully she pushed the large man off of her and grasped at her burning throat. Looking up at Severus she saw his beloved crow biting at his ear. He tried to bat the bird away as it furiously flapped it's wings around his head, squawking each time his hand came in contact with the animals side.
Amelia crawled on the floor towards the door, tears running down her face as she calmed her breathing. Once she was at a safe distance from him, the crow swooped towards her and landed on her knee. She grabbed her wand and pointed it at Severus.
The lights in the room flicked on, blood running down the side of his face from where he was pecked. Severus looked at Amelia in horror, realizing what had just happened.
"Oh gods Amelia, I'm so sorry-i"
"Don't" her voice hardly audible.
"Amelia, I-" He got off the bed and reached out for her. She immediately batted his hand away and hurried out the door, the crow following.
Severus was left on his knees in the middle of his floor wondering what had he just done.
'This is why you can't get close.'