8. Leave
The sunlight would come through the windows, thick and yellow like wax, at dawn. And it would melt down the walls. And with the light the shadows would sharpen at the edges and thicken at the center… and devour him.
Peter Lake decided to go before seeing it. He had more important things to do. And more important farewells to bid.
He spent most of the evening contemplating the CITY OF JUSTICE banner, asking himself whether he ought to keep it or leave it be. The blanket and the banner were his only possessions aside from the clothes on his back. Abandoning them felt surreal. Almost cruel. It took no effort to carry them. They were light and would fit well in his satchel.
What worried Peter was that he was actively asking himself these questions. That he cared enough about these things to consider taking them along… but that he also had to think twice about taking them.
What were his parents thinking? He had thought this many times. Were they trying to get rid of him? Were they mocking him? Mocking themselves? What lucid parents would let their baby sail adrift on the water of New York, on a model boat scarcely bigger than himself? Did he have a right to feel sentimental about these items?
Was he meant to feel good about them? Was he meant to feel betrayed?
Ignorance was a poison. It disoriented him. He had no direction. His thoughts had no compass. What was he supposed to believe?
So Peter Lake chose the safest solution. Leave them be. Hide them where he'd hidden them for years. Keep them safe. And when Cecil reached out to him, when he told him to come back, he'd climb up into the attic of the Station and find his things, untouched.
But he would not allow himself to be distracted by them. He would not think twice about what they meant. What they were meant to mean to him. They were things, no more. They were his things. And they were not essential for this journey. So he left them there.
He took a few things along. A rope. A hook. A cap. Just in case. And, before dawn, before the stars had begun to dim down, he had descended into the stables and taken the white horse and set off.
He had a couple things to do before he left. And they were best done in the dark.
Author's Note: I always felt like it was odd for Peter to leave behind his items when he set off in the film. He doesn't even really take a moment to think whether he should take them or let them stay there. For a moment I toyed with the possibility that he takes the blanket and the banner along and is therefore able to show Beverly when they become friends. But I decided to let his decision to leave these things stay the same: the only difference is that I added some reasoning and some bargaining behind his decision. He would have realistically felt conflicted over it. So... that's that.
Thank you for reading! :)