Chapter 17 – Fears & Friendships

Tara looked over Carol's injuries, her EMT jump bag lay out on the kitchen table. She taped up her bruised ribs for simple stability only, claiming they would hurt less upon movement. Her splinted fingers had jammed in the collision with the paint can. They were simply rewrapped and taped. Her nose was not broken but would be sore for a while. Overall, Carol was healthy, but it had been a hell of a day. Tara stayed a while, hoping to get the woman alone to discuss that kiss that her and Glenn had walked in on. Neither Carol nor Daryl had said a word about it, but the redneck was standing behind Carol with his hands comfortingly laid on her shoulders the whole time she was being checked out. Nobody missed the scared as hell look on his face, though. He tried to hide it from Carol, but she had caught it as well.

When Daryl got a call from Rick, he left the kitchen for the living room where Glenn was back at work. That gave Tara the opening she was waiting for.

"So, Carol, what's with the face sucking action we walked in on?"

Carol just sighed. She really liked Tara a lot, but could she talk to her about things that were trying to burst their way out of her? She needed a pair of ears and a woman's opinion. She smiled, and decided to go for it.

"We kissed Tara, that's all."

"You two are walking around with heart eyes big as saucers. That musta been some kiss."

"It was," Carol said dreamily. Suddenly, something horrible occurred to her. "You don't think it was wrong to do that, do you? I mean, we haven't known each other long and my ex-husband had literally just attacked me. Oh my God, you think I'm terrible, don't you?" Carol was spiraling.

"Relax woman, jeez. I think it's great, and I give no credence to time requirements on relationships. I slept with Denise when I had known her two days. Who cares about the time between you leaving that asshole and kissing Daryl? Nobody here in Kennesaw is going to judge you for that. At least nobody in our circle of friends. So please get that out of your head."

Carol let out a breath of relief. She hadn't even made it to her next inhaled breath before Tara pounced at the opportunity.

"So, how was it?"

Carol just smiled and blushed.

"C'mon lady, spill the beans. Denise and I have been together forever. I love her but need to live vicariously through somebody's first kiss. That somebody is you, so spill!"

Carol thought for a moment how to explain the feelings she got from that kiss. It was so powerful that even the lengthiest of descriptions wouldn't cover it. It was not something adequately described with flowery words either. So, she settled on the word that she had murmured in that moment; the first word that had come to mind.

"It was…wow. Just wow." She didn't say any more, but the look on her face and the power behind the words was all that was needed to get the feelings across.

Tara started grinning wide and offered Carol a fist bump. Instead, Carol hugged her and then they both started laughing.

In the living room, Daryl was filling in Rick on how Carol was doing. Shane had called Rick to let him know about the attack. Rick was wanting to come over with Michonne and the kids. They were going to call their other friends and show up with enough pizza for everybody. Daryl agreed, but said that if Carol wasn't wanting it, he would text Rick that it was off. Agreeing, they ended the call. Daryl turned to enter back into the kitchen. What he saw was enough to get his blood pressure up and his face red.

Carol and Tara were laughing hard, like they were playing around and teasing. When he walked in, the women started laughing harder. Were they making fun of him? Had Carol not liked the kiss? It had seemed she did, and she was kissing him back. Old insecurities rose within him, so he fled back to the living room with Glenn.

Glenn looked up at Daryl when he re-entered in a rush. He heard the laughter from the women and recognized the panicked look on his friend's face and rolled his eyes. He knew this would be coming. He just hadn't expected it so soon. Rather than listening to Daryl's self-deprecations, he did an end run by skipping right to the reassurances he had prepared for this moment.

"Yes, she liked it, Daryl. No, she doesn't regret anything. She is just laughing with Tara; she's not laughing at you. Yes, I'm sure. Carol isn't like that."

"But what if she just kissed me cuz she was scared? I mean her husband attacked her!"

Glenn pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes to prevent another eye roll. He had been dealing with Daryl's insecurities for years. As his best friend, it was his duty to reassure the man. But seriously, how could a man who had so much going for him think so little of himself?

"Yes, she was scared of her ex-husband. Yes, she was attacked by him. But are you forgetting that she kicked his ass? She can take care of herself if she has to. She kissed you because you are you, and she cares for you. Remember what I told you about the neon signs? Well, hers still burn for you man, so stop overthinking things."

Daryl relaxed a bit. Somewhere within him, the tension eased a bit at the reassurances. Only now he had to find the balls to follow through with his feelings for Carol. Maybe having everybody over actually would be a great thing. It would give him an opportunity to get a feel of where she wanted this to go. If they were alone, they could rush things and risk ruining what they had. He didn't want to lose her now. Steeling himself, he nodded at Glenn and returned to the kitchen. Tara was just packing up her kit, and Carol gave him a hundred-watt smile when she saw him. Maybe he didn't have anything to fear after all.

Having everybody over was a fabulous idea. The pizza was great, and the company was entertaining. Carol was having so much fun. Tara, Eugene, Rosita, Abe, Denise, Andrea, Glenn, Maggie, Rick, Michonne, and Carl were all diving into the pizza that Rick had brought. The conversation was lively, and Carol was again counting her blessings to have all these people as her friends. The women were the kinds of friends that Carol had always wished she could have. The men were all close to Daryl and welcomed her into their circle with open arms.

The children were a delight to have around. Carl was a precocious three-year-old wandering around, and Judith was a smiley baby. Her sweet baby smell pulled at Carol's heart strings a bit. She was grateful now that her and Ed had never had a child. Her heart ached for the child she had lost, but how could she have escaped her life with Ed in Michigan with a child in tow? No, she wouldn't dwell on the past. Instead, she focused on Judith. Her skin tone was the perfect mix of her parents. Coffee blended with just the right amount of cream. Her brown eyes somehow seemed wise of the world around her. Michonne was a fabulous mother, and Carl called her 'mom'. While Carol couldn't understand how Lori could have left her son, she was grateful that the boy had Michonne to love him, and now he had his sister. The Grimes family was happy in a way that she longed for herself.

Each of her new friends had their own little quirks, but Eugene was one that Carol consistently found herself amused by. His attentions to the children were fun to watch. Eugene was oddly enamored of Judith. The baby had been making her rounds from adult to adult, but the mulleted man had yet to hold her today. He had not so patiently waited his turn, but his patience was at an end.

"Carol, while I appreciate the comfort that a child as young as Judith can give in regard to today's events, I feel it imperative to tell you that you are bogarting said child. I have waited for my turn to hold the youngest Grimes, and by my calculations, my turn should have begun over three minutes ago. While I understand that young Judith has besotted all of our friends in equal measure, I hereby would like to make it clear that you are dangerously close to causing the child an unfair measure of favoritism towards your person."

Carol was dazed and confused at the lengthy monotone cadence of his words. "Um…what?"

Daryl crossed to them, plucking Judith out of her arms and handing her to Eugene. "He says you are hogging the baby so much that she's only going to want you from now on." That caused the other adults to laugh at the exchange. But Eugene was happy. He began walking around with Judith, pointing out architectural aspects of the house and explaining the work that Daryl, Glenn and Carol were doing. Soon his monotone teachings were interrupted by an infant squawk.

"Michonne, I feel it timely to hand the little one off to you for a diaper change," Eugene implored. The smell from the diaper was making his eyes water. "And may I further suggest that a dietary change may be in order based on the odors the child is emitting." When Michonne just stared at him and then simply handed him the diaper bag, his hang-dog expression at being tasked for the diaper change was enough to get the adults laughing once again.

The party went on, and Carol found herself nervous about what would happen when Daryl and she were alone. As guilty as the fact she was still married made her feel, she wanted to see what would happen between her and Daryl. She simply did not want him to leave at the end of the night without knowing. She had no idea how to say that in words though. So, she cornered Tara and convinced her to 'go on a little walk' with her. The two slipped out of the house before Daryl could notice. She was determined to show him how she felt since the words were escaping her. She only hoped that it didn't backfire and cause him to run.