31. White face in the water
He drifted in the dark. Floated in the night and the warmth of the mattress. Dreams drank at his fingertips.
And before he could fall asleep and swim in his pool of thoughts, thoughts of her, a white face showed up in the water. Two round, squinting eyes. Black and liquid.
Peter Lake owlishly found her gaze. He was too tired to be frightened. He knew better, by now, than to assume a ghost had paid him a visit. He knew who she was.
"Hello," he murmured.
"Are you sleeping?" asked little Willa.
"Yes," he replied, smiling groggily.
"That was a stupid question, I admit."
"Yes." He chuckled.
She kept watching him from the shadows. Pale cheeks framed by twirls of blackened brown, by the puddles of darkness on the walls.
"Why do you look at me like that?" asked Peter. "I don't understand…"
"I'm just thinking."
"About what?"
"My sister…" said Willa. "You never answered me. Are you her boyfriend?"
Peter Lake shifted slightly among the bedsheets, against the pillow. He opened his eyes a little more. He managed to find the thin blue line that separated the child from the rest of the room.
"I'll be whatever she wants me to be," he said. "And, for now… I'm her friend. And I'm happy with being her friend."
"So… you don't love her?" she asked. He detected a childish disappointment in her tone.
He said: "You're wrong… I do love her… With all my heart…"
"Then why are you just her friend?"
"I love her…" he said again. "And therefore, I will let her decide… I can't just tell her to be with me and expect her to be alright with the idea… I respect her too much to do such a thing…"
"She would be alright with the idea," said Willa. "She loves you too… I know it."
Peter squinted back at her, smiled a little. Shook his head. To her. To himself.
"You're young, little Willa… Too young… When you grow up you'll learn things are not that simple…"
"They can be," persisted the child. "After all, you… I mean… you haven't known her for long… and you already love her…"
"I wish I could explain it to you," said Peter. "Even I fail to understand it… But, yes… I haven't known her for long, but Beverly… your sister… she just… she…"
She had laughed. She had talked to him. Let him know her. She had unpinned her hair and turned and run up the stairs, calling out, 'It's late.' She had looked at his eyes as he brushed his thumb against her wrist. Called him 'marvelous'. And he almost had believed her. Almost.
"I will not call her mine, however…" he whispered. "It's not in my right to do so…"
Little Willa approached him and got on her knees, leveling her eyes with his. She made a face.
"But if you both love each other… and I know she loves you too, I don't care what you say…" He chuckled, arched his eyebrows. And she whispered: "If all of that is true, why won't you call her yours?"
"Because, Willa, one day you'll know… that is often what love is… The choice of it… Freedom… She is not mine… And I'm not hers… If she says, 'I want you,' then I'll be hers… I will not hesitate… But until that happens… if it ever does happen… I'm her friend… Her guest… And I'm content with being those things… I just want her to be alright… I want her to be happy…"
Little Willa sat in silence for some time. She blinked repeatedly, puffed her cheeks, buried her nose in the palms of her hands. Then she stood up.
"Sorry if I woke you up," she said, at last.
"You didn't wake me, don't worry…"
"I just had to know. If you love her, that is… It's important to me."
She peeked a timid glance at him as she skulked out of the room and tiptoed into the hallway.
"Goodnight."
And she left. The floor breaking in rings of blue and black under her feet. The bed rocked gently. And Peter Lake drifted away.
Author's Note: Thank you for reading, to whoever is here today. As you can see, I decided that Peter and Willa should have a different introduction to each other. This first conversation I gave them is less crucial to the plot than the one they have in the film (which will show up too, in due time) but I think it's best to have them interact some more before that happens. Again, thank you for reading!