Chapter Eighteen 18/19
Silas met them at the door. He whispered to her as Jarrod was taking off his gun belt and taking it to the cabinet.
"I got everything ready, Miss Liz. I placed some of those silver candelabras on the bookcases in the new house and a couple of lamps too. Ciego brought up a table and two chairs from the storage bar. Mrs. Barkley set the table and brought in flowers."
Liz nursed Laurel right before supper and gave her to Fiona for the rest of the evening. Liz calculated she had four hours of freedom to carry out her plan.
The family was gathered in the parlor waiting for Silas to announce supper. Rosa came in instead and announced it was ready.
Liz held Jarrod back by the arm, "Come with me. We are having our first supper alone in our new house."
Jarrod looked at her quizzically and she reached up and pulled his face down and kissed him.
"Don't argue with your woman, counselor."
The twinkle in her emerald eyes brought the desire to his own sapphire eyes. He was trying to keep himself reserved after the experience of the last week, but at least now he felt hopeful.
He opened the door to their foyer and looked to the left. The magnificent stained bookcases and polished paneling glimmered in the light of Victoria's silver candelabras and extra lamps from the big house.
In the middle of the room was an old dining table from the bunkhouse with two parlor chairs of his mother's. The table was set with fine china, crystal, and silver with linen napkins of his mother's. Steak, potatoes and vegetables were steaming and a bottle of champagne was on ice.
"Can you do the honors?" And she handed the bottle to Jarrod.
He popped the cork and filled the elegant flutes. They toasted the future through linked arms.
They sat down to eat the scrumptious meal Silas had made for them. Jarrod pulled her chair from across the table next to him. Liz blushed but went willingly.
They split a piece of peach pie for their dessert.
They placed their napkins on the table and he asked her to dance to no music. She smiled at the memory.
"What shall we do without our Laurel between us?"
"I am willing to figure it out if you are."
And he took her in his arms and forgot to even dance; she didn't mind.
They walked through each room in their house, laughing and talking and planning.
Jarrod showed her where he wanted each piece of furniture he had ordered in Sacramento. She smiled. I have never known a man so determined to create his own home. He can put anything he wants anywhere he wants. I love him so much.
"Jarrod, I am sorry about pushing you away last week. I honestly don't know why I did it. I have no excuses and it scares me. I needed tonight to prove something to myself. We have every right to our life, our passion and….." she hesitated and barely whispered, " enjoying our marital bed".
He smiled and took her in his arms, " I love you and I promise you—-we will."
Victoria was right about this too. Alone time heals many wounds.
—&—
Jarrod and Liz enjoyed the summer together at the ranch. Jarrod for the first time in his adult life had nothing to do but be a father, brother, and son—- and lover to Liz. He tried every day to do something for her to fill up the cracks that John left in his beautiful Liz.
Liz had averted her gaze one evening after a rather passionate moment between them and whispered to Jarrod, "I don't know how to say this without sounding wanton. I will have Laurel weaned by Thanksgiving."
He pulled her into his chest smiling knowing she was thinking of them as man and wife too. "I love you Liz" was all he said into her hair.
He never pressed his suit with her and made sure their private moments and the occasional liberties he couldn't help but take, gave her the greatest pleasure. She seemed to be trying very hard and it pleased him greatly. It was extremely desirable and exciting to him when she initiated their passionate kisses or called his name in his ear.
It flummoxed him that they had shared the intimacy of childbirth and nursing twice—-and yet, they needed help to begin the courting season.
Jarrod had thought about their wedding night many times since they spoke their words of love in the hotel. And now since the incident with Stella, it rarely left his mind.
Heath's words stayed on his mind after he purchased a thoroughbred at auction that had been mistreated a few years back,
"Heath, I trust your judgment but how are you going to do this? You saw what she did to the handler of the auction house. I have never seen a horse so skittish. She is a fine animal—-one of the best I have ever seen. You can see the bloodlines in her immediately."
"It's called 'gentling'. When a horse has been hurt or treated poorly, they lash out at its next owner or trainer. It's kinda like breaking a mustang or the opposite of it. Their will has already been broken; you have to help them feel in control again. You gotta get their trust….take it real slow….anything you force will drive ya backward. Soft words, gentle touches—-take your time and spend it….it's worth it when it happens, they will be yours for life."
And Heath did it…it took months but she became one of the prizes in the Barkley breeding program. Of course, Liz wasn't for breeding. "Ha" but she is quite capable of that task, he laughed to himself. She was sharing his life and love "until death they do part."
Jarrod knew Liz wasn't a horse but the advice seemed sure. He had seen its results already until the setback with the saloon.
His mother's advice after the incident had been wise and true when Liz rebuffed him,
"Jarrod, my friend Bonnie, had experience with this. As she told me, "It's like a vase that's been cracked. You have to fill in all those cracks carefully or water will pour out again. It's worth the vase but it takes time to fix something that someone else intentionally broke."
His analytical mind spent many hours thinking about it, "I have had many women in my life. All of them were experienced and willing. Even Amy had initiated their one indiscretion; I have never seduced an unwilling woman. The only maid I have been with was Beth. Liz has six children and she knows or thinks she knows what to expect. In my mind, she may be as much of a virgin as Beth."
He spent the summer, gentling. An unexpected kiss, a nip on her earlobe or wrist, his hand grazed her backside or slightly cupped her breast. He would press her close enough to feel his desire and often came behind her and held her tight. He let her know he was there so as not to startle her. He encouraged her to touch him with whispers and affirmations.
All summer long, he held himself in check, knowing December was the prize.
(Gentling would actually be very similar to desensitization, a modern technique in counseling.)