Rating: T
Word count: 900
Humor
Content warnings: none

Originally requested on twitter by beepbeepsheeper. First published January 2021.

"Focus Blast missed! This sucks poyo!"

"…Are you serious?! You've gotta be kidding meeeeee!" Koshka groaned, balling her clammy fists. She watched her Pokémon stumble as it fired the move off to the side, scratches covering its body. "Come on, Mr. Cheshire…! You can't fail me now!"

"Heh! Gengar is just as much as a *kero*croak*kero* as you are! Both yours and his aim suck meow meow~ Now, Articuno! Finish off this lame hick with an Ice Beam meooooow!"

Articuno cried out its name, a flash of blue light appearing over its mouth before the light shot in a zagging pattern into Mr. Cheshire's face. Stumbling backwards, Mr. Cheshire tipped onto his back and vanished in a flurry of pixels.

"*kero*kero*! Gengar fainted! Game set poyo!"

"Noooooooo! Why?!" Koshka grabbed her hair and cried out, yanking on it as she glared at Lilja.

Lilja pumped her fist into the air. "Gyahaha! The great Lilja wins again meeeeeew! You suck meow! What a *kero*kero* loser! I've never met a failure as *kero* pathetic and lame as you! Just bend to me already, you stupid hick! Meeeew!"

"I'll never bend to you…! Nothing about you is 'great', the RNG just hates me!" Mr. Cheshire definitely wasn't getting a Choice Specs next time. It wasn't fair that Focus Blast had to miss not once, not twice, but three times in a row. Nor was it fair that Lilja had access to legendary Pokémon. Paying for an advantage like that was cheating, full stop. Yeah, that had to be the biggest issue; if Lilja never owned a Registeel, Koshka wouldn't have had to use Focus Blast in the first place.

"You're just mad that I'm so much better than you meow! Come back when you're able to get past the first Pokémon of the game meow!"

Balling her fists, Koshka stared Lilja in the eyes. "You'll eat those words! I'm gonna crush you…! With a full team of cat Pokémon, too! Then you'll be sorry that you ever messed with me!"

"What, you think you can crush me with a Purugly?" Letting out a curt chuckle, Lilja walked towards Koshka. She smirked down at her. "Doesn't matter what you use, all your Pokémon are just like you meow."

"Ugh, are you calling me cute?"

Lilja opened her mouth, then closed it. Her cheeks reddened as she crossed her arms. "Myaaa? I would never meow! Who could ever find a girl with mud on her face from two days ago cute?! If you want a shining example of cuteness, look no further than Lilja Viljakainen meow!"

Koshka bared her teeth, leaning closer to Lilja. "Cute? You're not cute, you're annoying!"

"Yeah, annoyingly cute meow!" Lilja leaned in even closer, Koshka taking a small step back so Lilja's face looked slightly less pixelated. "I bet even a gloomy hick like you couldn't resist me!"

"Please, you could be the world's cutest cat and I wouldn't go near it if I knew it was you."

"Yeah, right! I bet the moment I rubbed up against you and weaved through your legs you'd be petting me and kissing my forehead!"

The mental image of Lilja as a real cat passed through Koshka's mind. A small orange tabby cat with tiny pulla on its head rubbed its head against her legs, looking up and meowing with big, glossy green eyes. She quickly pushed the thought back, realising her cheeks were hot. "I-I would never! No matter how hard you tried, I'd resist!"

"Meeeeew! You won't resist me for long!" said Lilja, stepping towards Koshka with a wide grin.

Koshka stared at Lilja, feeling her heart pound a little faster. "Yes I can! Why do you wanna go between my legs and have forehead kisses anyway? Do you have a crush on me or something?"

"I—" Lilja's smile dropped. Her entire face went scarlet as she stepped back, narrowing her eyes. "You…what…why would you even suggest that?!"

"You tell me! You're the one who wants to be irresistible to me!"

Lilja's faced reddened further, gritting her teeth. "I…"

Neither said a word for several moments. Koshka's heart pounded as she moved closer to Lilja. "...W-Wait, do you seriously…?"

"I…I do not!" cried Lilja. "You *kero*croak*kero*! Nobody could like you like that! Anyone who has a crush on you is crazy! Not in a million years! I'd never wanna date a girl like you meooooooow! Loser! Weirdo! *kero*kero* hick!" And with that, she vanished.

Keropoyo popped into the corner of Koshka's eye. "'Lilja' has exited the room poyo!"

Staring at the spot Lilja stood, Koshka said nothing. W…What was that…? She blinked, exiting the room. Her vision returned to her bedroom, lit up with the faintest of blue hues from the outside light. …I thought we were gonna have one more battle…? Since when did Lilja run from a fight? Why did she get so…flustered?

An email from Lilja appeared in Koshka's mental display. Opening it, the message read: "Something came up. We're gonna have to wait a little longer before I kick your ass meow. Don't think you're off the hook yet!"

Koshka frowned. Something came up, huh…? Yeah, right. Lilja was definitely lying. Yawning, Koshka, snuggled into her sheets. It wasn't important; now she had enough time to rebuild her team, to crush Lilja once and for all.

Anything to see her flustered once more.