I don't own Evangelion or Scott Pilgrim. Please don't file a lawsuit against me, I'm too young to be sued!
OoOoO Shinji Ikari vs The World OoOoO
After an odd night talking with two people who not only don't come from an alternate dimension, but one where their entire lives were created, Shinji was uncomfortable. Then there was the fact he and Misato couldn't tell anyone else. That made Shinji more uncomfortable. He wasn't bad at keeping secrets, but he didn't like to.
Today he was going to visit the First Child, Rei Ayanami. She was in the hospital, as Ramona explained. She was hurt during an activation test with Unit-00. The three would take subspace into the NERV hospital, then find her room. The trio wanted to meet her.
He thought back on her words. 'Pretend your Dad died, and the Commander happens to share a name with you. Call him Commander instead of Father.' But there was a nagging question at the back of his mind. He didn't know if he could.
"Good morning Shinji."
"Good morning Misato. How are you feeling today?"
"Tired"
"Scott and Ramona told me that neither of us could tell NERV that they came from a universe where we are fictional characters."
"When did they tell you this?"
"In my dreams. They can travel through them."
"Subspace?"
"Subspace."
The morning was incredibly boring. Misato told him when he would start school, when he needed to be a NERV, and most importantly when NERV hospital opened.
Currently, Scott and Ramona were messing with her purse or as she called it, 'Subspace Bag'. Shinji wasn't really paying much attention to them, he was thinking of what to say to the girl. She had been here for longer, and was injured in an activation test with EVA Unit-00.
"Ready to go guys?" Scott asked, looking at Ramona then Shinji.
Scott seemed like a nice guy, as far as Shinji could tell. He was not the most intelligent guy, but he was always sincere. That meant a lot to Shinji. The kid had grown up following a teacher who did the bare minimum, so Scott's genuine caring felt great.
"I am. I wonder what the First Child is like?" Shinji replied.
"She's… a person." Ramona called back, still fiddling with her bag.
Shinji smiled at her. It has been a while since he smiled, yet she had done it a few times now. Ramona was similar to Scott, but completely different. Where Scott was almost incapable of seeming mean, Ramona almost always came off as snarky. But it was her advice that made Shinji look up to her.
All morning, he was thinking about her words. In only a few days, the two were the closest things to parents he had in over a decade. Ramona gave him helpful advice, while Scott was able to cheer him up.
"Let's Ah-go!" Scott yelled in an absolutely terrible Italian accent. "Y'know, like Mario." Both of these comments were greeted by a groan from Ramona and complete silence from Shinji. "Kids these days."
The group arrived at the NERV hospital less than 3 minutes after visiting hours began. The slightly understaffed building had a few nurses running around.
"Excuse me, do you know where Rei Ayanami is being held?" Scott asked a passing nurse.
"I'm sorry sir, but only authorized personnel are allowed to visit her." She responded hurriedly, obviously trying to get to anywhere else.
"I am the Third Child Miss." Shinji told the nurse.
"I'm sorry but you are not permitted. I must be going, my apologies." The nurse said before scurrying off.
"Plan B it is. Let's go find a door." Ramona said, turning her attention to a door near the entrance.
Ramona was hoping Rei would be sleeping, that way her mind could be entered. The journey proved fruitful for the group. She was, infact asleep. Ramona quickly noticed the lack of anything in the First Child's mind. Rei could not dream, but she still had to have some type of avatar in her mind.
"Hello?" Scott called into the dreamless void of Rei's mind.
"Why are you here?" A voice called out from the Darkness, presumably Rei.
"We brought the Third Child, but the nurse turned us away." Ramona called out, pointing to Shinji. "I'm Ramona, and the guy to my left is Scott. We came from an alternate dimension."
"I see."
"Hello. It is… nice to meet you. My name is Shinji Ikari." Shinji told the darkness.
"Why are you here Pilot Ikari?"
"He's here for an introduction." Ramona called out before turning to Scott and whispering, "Take him home, I'll be a few minutes."
"Well that was… a thing. C'mon Shinji, Ramona wants some girl time with the First."
The two walked off until they were alone in Scott's apartment. Ramona took another ten minutes with the albino. Neither Scott nor Shinji knew what the two bluenettes spoke about in the sanctity of Rei's mind.
"That was interesting. I look forward to speaking with her again." Ramona said, somewhere between a smile and a grimace. "But maybe not for a while."
As a few weeks went by, several changes happened to the group who arrived in Tokyo-3. Ramona got a job with NERV. Her manipulation of subspace was convenient for everyone else in the paramilitary base. She had dyed her hair to be a light violet with darkened highlights. According to her, it was common for her hair to change colors about every month.
Shinji was about to start school after 3 weeks of Eva training. While he still traveled via public transportation to and from The Geofront, Ramona picked him up with subspace whenever it was urgent.
He never got along with the other children in his old school. His Aunt, Uncle, & Cousin had isolated him while he lived with them. The two adults had treated him like an afterthought & his cousin used him like a live-in maid. Luckily he already had an ally at his new school.
Somehow Scott had gotten a job as a 2nd level English teacher. Shinji had seen the tape of his interview online after it went viral.
"So Mr. Pilgrim, it says you come from Canada." Dr. Yugoshi, the principal of the school said.
"I was the best fighter in all of Ontario. I once killed a Vegan with supernatural powers, but I guess you guys don't have those. Then there was the Genius inventor who managed to invent a glowing virus that messed with your mind." The shaggy man replied not realizing what he had just said.
"That's… Wow. Mr. Pilgrim, what made you want to teach English?"
"When I was growing up, I didn't speak too good, but I grew out of it with help from a few of my English teachers. I guess it's like paying it forward, like all the money I owe my gay best friend Wallice. Or like the coins I got after exploding the Evil Exes."
"What is an Evil Ex Mr. Pilgrim?"
"When my girlfriend and I started dating I had to defeat her 6 Evil Ex Boyfriends, and her Evil Ex Girlfriend. The first one was a Magic Pirate, number 2 was a movie star, 3 was a Vegan, but I tricked him into losing his powers. 4th was the blonde ninja chick, 5 & 6 were these Japanese twins. We were in Canada at the time so they were more foreign."
There was a brief pause. Dr. Yugoshi's eyes twitched with confusion. He quickly realized he was staring and decided to get to the end of Scott's tirade. "What about number 7?"
"Number 7 was Gideon. He was the worst, by far. The guy created a mind virus that could alter memories, then he killed me. I had an extra life though so I lived. He was also dating my Ex, who was also the most popular musician in Canada at the time."
"I see, how did you defeat this Gideon fellow?"
"Me and my girlfriend slashed him in half after expelling him from her mind, which is actually a Dirac sea." Fortunately for Scott, Yugoshi was a Dr. of Physics and could at least fathom the concept. "And after that we ended up here."
"That was an… interesting story Mr. Pilgrim, we'll be in touch."
And getting in touch they had done. After the video inexplicably *Cough* Kensuke *Cough* *Cough* went viral the school was related to work with a semi-celebrity. It didn't hurt that Scott was completely fluent in english either.
His first day was just as entertaining for the student body.
"The old teacher, Sensei Anno, has decided to quit his job here after striking it big in… whatever Japan's Hollywood is. I am your new replacement english teacher, Scott Pilgrim." Scott wrote his name on the chalkboard. "You can call me Scott, or Dr. Cool, but don't call me Pilgrim, it makes me think of those American dudes."
A girl with brown pigtails stood up from the front of the class. "Mr. Pil-"
"That's Dr. Cool to you Guy."
"Dr. Cool, this is highly unorthodox. Perhaps we should call you Sensei?"
"Nah, Sensei makes me sound old. Maybe in 25 years, but right now? I'm just Scott, Guy, or Dr. Cool." Scott turned back to the empty desk in the front of the class. "I'm gonna take this desk, You can sit down now."
He took the desk and set it directly in front of the chalkboard. He then wrote the entirety of the English alphabet on the board.
"Mr. Guy," a kid with glasses spoke up from the back, "We already learned the english alphabet."
"Oh. Well… What was the last thing you learned?"
"We were learning the differences between 'At' 'On' & 'Around'. Sensei left right before we could finish the unit."
"Well that stuff's easy kid. 'At' is where you are. Like we are 'At' School, or I am 'At' My desk. 'On' is a bit trickier. I can be 'On' the desk right here." He stood up and climbed atop the desk he just took. Unfortunately, the ceiling was just a wee bit too short. "Oww! Anyway, I am 'On' my desk, but if I was sitting like you are, I'd be 'At' my desk, or if I merged with it I'd be 'In' the desk. If I were to the side I'd be 'Around'." He tried to hop off his desk to prove his point, but ended up landing on his face.
It had been 2 weeks since that day, and a week and a half since Ramona showed him the videos of Scott. After Fath-The Commander's order to train him 9 hours a day for the past 2½ weeks, Shinji was miserable. Mounting pressure from Dr. Akagi was getting to him. Scott, Ramona, & Misato were the only bright spots currently.
School was something Shinji didn't miss. The only thing it was good for was escaping his 'home' with his Aunt & Uncle. He always got top marks, but he was never invited to anything. He eventually took up the cello after his music teacher told him to pick up an instrument.
Hopefully, having a familiar face around would allow him to fit in better. Scott, for his many oddities, was a very genuine person. Unfortunately for Shinji, too genuine.
Shinji walked into classroom 2-A, but if you asked anyone else they would have failed to notice. He often tried to sink into the scenery of wherever he went. Today, that was not a possibility. The fate of rotating teachers ment that today Dr. Cool would be the one to introduce him. Shinii liked Scott, but now was not the time.
As soon as Guy-sama, as he got the entire school to call him (including the teachers), walked in, he called Shinji up to the front. Poor Hikari couldn't even get a Rise, Sit, Bow out of the kid before he was in front of the class.
"This is my good friend Shinji Ikari!" He paused for applause, which came in droves. "He is also the pilot of that big ass robot that saved the city!" Even more applause, that was except for a track-suit clad jock at the back. "I won't give him any special treatment however, so sit back down hooligin!"
"Ok Scott."
The rest of the day went on like normal. English was one of Shinji's best subjects, he had always averaged over a hundred. He couldn't speak it fluently, but he could get by in most english speaking places. The current lesson however, was lost on him completely.
"So here's this guy, right. And he say, wants to kick this guy's ass." He said moving around his stick puppets of Joe Nieuwendyk & Sean Avery. "You say; 'Hey Joe, drop gloves next face-off.' and the guy would either be like 'Eat my butt Sean', or like 'Alright guy'. The most important thing to take away from this unit is the fact that hockey was rad and I miss it." Scott said, drooping his head and letting a single tear escape.
'What the hell did I just experience?' Shinji wondered to himself, not missing the scores of crying teens. 'Is it always like this?'
"Another important hockey fact is that Fighting gets you 'Matching Penalties'. They ensure that more fights won't erupt. Sometimes they do though, these are called 'Brawls'. Often fights are just a single event. Fighting in hockey is one of the most respectful forms of art in the sports wor-."
The lunch bell sounded and released the students into the courtyard. Shinii wasn't sure if this was a good thing, or a bad thing. The teacher just told a bunch of hormone filled teenagers that fighting was cool and noble.
The answer came as a fist collided with Shinji's face. The taller kid stood over him, while the geeky looking one hung more behind him. "Sorry new kid, your robot got my sister hurt. Teach told us that fighting for one's team is the most honorable thing a man can do."
"It's not my fault that Scott's a dumbass!" Shinji shouted at the retreating form of his aggressor.
"Don't insult Guy-sama like that!" He said delivering another punch to his ribs. "He's twice the man you are!"
"You got that right, Toji. In Hockey, two parties must be willing to engage in fighting. Shinji here is unwilling." Scott said, stepping out of the shadows. "I will battle in his place!"
"G-Guy-sama!?" Toji exasperated. "I don't think I could fight you!"
"But you could fight Shinji? He meant no harm to your sister. She wouldn't even be here without him! None of us would! So Toji, You must fight to preserve your honor!"
"I won't go easy on you Guy-sama!"
"Good."
The next 30 seconds consisted of a crowd forming and a character select screen popping up. The 9 boxed screen had only 5 characters unlocked; Scott, Ramona (Hammer), Rei, Misato, & Toji. The 4 blanked out had the names: Red Demon, Whimp, Unshaven, & EvanGAYlion. The cursor of P1 slid over to Toji, then P2 moved to Scott.
"What the…'' Was all Toji could muster out seeing himself posed like he was in Street Fighter II. Scott however, was a clear veteren of this type of thing. He posed perfectly, prepared to finnish Toji off quickly.
"ROUND 1… FIGHT!" Said the mysterious voice from the top of the… screen? Why couldn't Toji look up? What was even happening? What the fu-.
Scott's immediate 12 score combo dissuaded Toji, and to top it off, while he was soaked in sweat, Scott was persprence clean. Suddenly the screen was covered by new letters. "PLAYER 2 WINS." Toji was confused, but stunned by Scott's form. He was not lying when he claimed to be the best fighter in Ontario. "PERFECT!"
The sounds of cheering and whooping were interrupted by a bright hair woman screaming for Scott. "Scott! Quit kicking that kid's ass and get Shinji & Rei! The Fourth Angel has arrived!" That caused everyone, save 4 people to scurry into the nearest shelter.
"Alright kids, you heard her!" Scott shouted, pushing the two into the door-shaped void.
Shinji was already weirded out, but this was a whole new experience. He never expected to fight an angel on a Super Smash Bros. level. Apparently Tokyo-3 was an unlockable stage in the newest game; Super Smash Step-Bros. To help promote tourism for the city.
"Ok Shinji, you've only got 2 lives. Fortunately the angel has 1, so make sure to kick it's ass!" The shaky voice of Misato said from his communication line. "Did I do it right Scott?"
"Yeah, but leave the strategies to me this time, right Commander?" Scott said, looking smuggly up.
"Yes…" Gendo grumbled. Scott's record against The Commander was 23-1, the 1 being when Scott sneezed and dropped his controller. Scott wasn't just the best fighter in Ontario, but the best Smash player too. "Transfer control of this operation to him."
"Shinji, you have the lives advantage. Widdle him down to at least 60% HP on the first life! More if you can!" Scott yelled.
"Alright!"
Shinji had never played video games. His Cousin had never offered to play, and Shinji's requests were always turned down. His Aunt made a conscious effort to make him focus on school, this included getting rid of all sources of his entertainment. That was except the SDAT, the last thing his mother lent him.
Saying the battle reflected this was an understatement. He lost a total of 198% HP before getting ring outed, only dealing 35% in the process. Scott tried his best to help the kid, but failed again and again. Ramona chimed in a few times, helping just as much.
On his second life, Shinji was doing much better. The HP % of Shamshel was rapidly decreasing. Shinji had whittled it down to 158% while only reaching 73%. He prepared his finishing move. Leaping into the air, Shinji smashed Shamshel off the stage. Before the angel could react, he smashed down on it again, making sure it would stay out, even if Shinji ran the risk of following it out.
Luckily, Shinji barely caught the edge of the stage. Shamshel continued to flow off the stage.
Scott let out an exaggerated whoop, followed by Ramona & Misato's combined hollering. Shinji, for once, felt proud. He had overcome his fear of engagement and sent Shamshel packing. He could be a bit less risky next time though...
Author's Notes: Just a fair warning, this one was a bit more serious, and the next one is going to be too. It's not gonna be like that forever, but until Asuka arrives in Chapter 4, it will. Shoutout to SherifJohnStone for making some damn fine shit. Also shout out to a Fic called 'Breakevan Badgelion' in which the description is "Walter White and Jesse Pinkman sell meth to the EVA pilots." What sick genius came up with this description? My guess is The Unabomber. One more shoutout to Gryphon117 for the story 'An Insider's Look' which I have been loving! (PS: Don't expect anymore daily uploads. I had already done 97% of this when I uploaded Chp. 1)