I don't own Scott Pilgrim or Evangelion. But I do own a plot of land in South America where I may be filming the live action adaptation of this fanfiction… Better than the Disney Live Action remakes. *Phone Rings* Hello… Uh-huh… I will… *Hangs up* I would like to formally apologize to our supreme overlord Mr. Mouse. I am sorry for offending you.

OoOoO Rei Ayanami & the Infinite Sadness OoOoO

"Well, it seems we are alone. I'll get started." Ramona said into the eternal void. "I know who & what you are Rei. I will not let it leave outside it's proper sources, but I do know. But I also know that you're not some doll, despite what some people say. I know your purpose, and it changes, just like you'll change."

The void known as Rei Ayanami's psyche was silent for almost a minute. Truth be told the idea of someone she had never met knowing her purpose was unsettling. Even more unsettling was her rejection of it. She had never thought much outside of what was needed. "Without my purpose I am useless." she finally replied.

"Rei, in my many years of endless aloof-ness I have learned that we have no purpose. Whatever you were made for doesn't matter in the end."

A long moment of silence dawned over the pair. Rei was processing this information, while Ramona was thinking of what Scott would make for dinner. The pale girl finally spoke up, "I will consider this."

"That's the best I can hope for. Goodbye Rei."

Today was an odd day for Rei. First she slipped while putting on her uniform, which had never happened. After that, there was the box that had appeared next to her before leaving her apartment.

REI AYANAMI

ANGEL HYBRID

14 YEARS OLD

FUN FACT: IS ACTUALLY ONLY 10,

BUT IS A BIOLOGICAL 14 YEAR OLD

Then there was school, Scott Pilgrim, or as he insisted they called him; Guy-sama, had said exactly 3 words the entire lesson. 'It did not interfere with the other students.' She still wondered what 'I miss Kim' ment.

Rei had a basic grasp on several languages; Japanese, Mandarin, German, French, and very little English. She understood enough to hold a very basic conversation, but not enough for casual speaking, not that she'd do that anyway.

The next oddity happened at lunch. Her account where she normally bought lunch from was empty, forcing her to return to class empty handed. Shinji had noticed her lack of nourishment. This led to him giving her miso soup & informing him of her aversion to meat.

When Lunch ended, History began. She always looked out the window during history. What did it mean to her? The end was coming in the near future, so why bother listening to the past? That thought was useless when Rei saw the two students' becoming one on the bench outside. 'I was told becoming one was a private matter involving lovers? What is so different about them?'

After the end of school, Rei would normally walk home. The difference today was that her home had finally collapsed. It had been condemned since before Sachiel's attack, but almost demolished by the 'fight' with Samshell. Today was just a good day to die, at least if you're made of concrete.

Where will I go now? I must report this to Commander Ikari.' Rei thought, before heading in the direction of the Geofront. There she would hope to get new housing arrangements.

"Aoba!" A technician, Miago Shuden, shouted from the back of the aforementioned Aoba's office. "The Commander wants to see you! Better not keep him waiting!" Shuden finished with a devilish smirk.

SHIGERU AOBA

BRIDGE BUNNY

24 YEARS OLD

FUN FACT: WOULD RATHER BE

JAMMING OUT

"What the hell!?" The combined voices of Shuden & Aoba said. But after it seemingly vanished out of existence, the two wrote it off as the wind.

Shigeru Aoba had the prized job of Central Dogma technician. Shuden was next in line. He was also a bit of a dickhead. The man was constantly pestering the existing crew.

"Oh man, if I get fired my roommate's never gonna let me live it down!' Was all the poor man could think on his way to the Commander's 'office'. Commander Ikari had what many called a Nervous Breakdown Room as an office. Few souls went in, fewer still came out.

One of the few spare of Ikari's soul eating wrath was standing next to him, Rei Ayanami. 'Wonder what she's doing here? I swear if I get replaced by a literal child then I'll-'

"Shigeru Aoba, you will house the First Child for the foreseeable future" Mr. Serial Child Abuser said, interrupting both my joke, and Shigeru's thoughts.

"B-But sir! I have no experience raising children! I don't think I have the correct qualifications!"

"You will house the First Child. That is a non-negotiable order."

'There it is, I've found out how he steals souls.' "Yes Sir."

The two walked home from there. Neither of them made any attempt at conversation. He wasn't trying to be cold, but he wasn't exactly friendly either.

MAYA IBUKI

BRIDGE BUNNY²

22 YEARS OLD

FUN FACT: WANTS TO SMASH

DR. AKAGI

"So, Shigeru, you got strapped with Rei duty?" His roommate asked, staring at the box next to her.

'I wonder what these are?' The three thought in tandem, but none of them wanting to address it out loud.

"We both got stuck with Rei duty, Maya." The obviously tired man said after ushering Rei into another room. "'Sides, just another girl you can hit on."

"Shut the hell up dude, she's 14. Even if she wasn't, she isn't my type."

"Your type begins with a Rits, and ends with a Suko. It ain't my fault you've got eyes for only one person. You gotta expand your horizons!" Shigeru said, trying to be as dickish as possible.

"You'd know all about that wouldn't you. That HR lady and the engineer, you playboy."

"Not while there are children here! And it was only one time!" He hoped to bring this conversation to an end and set Rei up. "Where the hell are we gonna put Rei?"

"She'll have to sleep on the couch for a few days. We've still have to clean out the room that Johnson left. That will take at least 2 more days. I don't know how he stayed here so long, he was a bonafide hoarder. Still better than..."

"I'll get the blankets out." The man said, ignoring Maya's rant about all their awful roommates. It was the third time she had rambled about them. Maybe it was time for her to go back on the meds.

Rei had never slept on a couch before. She either had a bed, or some folded out newspapers to sleep on. It wasn't uncomfortable, but it didn't feel the same as a bed. 'Maybe it feels different because I am naked.'

Unfortunately for the very sleepy Shigeru, a naked teenager standing in front of his couch was not what he expected to see. Getting a late night smack was never this confusing…

"Rei! Put some damn clothes on! You are sleeping in the living room!" He whisper-shouted, hoping to not wake Maya up. She always got a bit weirder in the night.

"I have always slept naked, why do I need to put on clothes now?" She asked innocently.

"Because, if people either wake up before you, or come out of their room in the middle of the night, they may find you naked." He said, trying not to sigh.

"I do not understand."

"Being naked makes other people uncomfortable, especially when they are sleeping. Do you have any pajamas? Those are what people usually wear to bed."

"I do not. I will acquire these 'Pajamas' at the next possible junction."

"That's all I can ask."

Rei had many days off. Between the weekends and sometimes after certain tests, she was permitted to not attend school. Today was one of those days, but unlike the other times, she had zero idea of what to do. She had told Shigeru that she would go and find the elusive 'Pajamas' but there was no way of finding them. 'Perhaps I can ask Miss Flowers? She has many outfits.'

Thus she decided to walk to Scott & Ramona's apartment. She was hoping if she wasn't home, the Captain would be. The two seemed most suited for shopping with, due to their connections and fashion sense.

Knocking on the Pilgrim-Flowers household was exceedingly normal, the response met at the door wasn't. Scott was wearing an apron that had '#1 DAD' embroidered on the front. While Ramona was fighting a pigeon off with a CD of ...And Justice For All by Metallica.

"Damn birds! Stop trying to steal my CDs!" Came the shout of the aforementioned woman.

"Hey Rei! Wasn't expecting you to show up around here. What brings you to our neck of the woods!" Scott declared happily.

"I was not aware that you were a father, Mr. Pilgrim." The pale girl deadpanned, even if it was purely unintentional.

"Err… I'm not. This was a joke gift from Misato…"

"Also, you do not live in the woods, it would be more accurate to say 'What brings you to my apartment?'"

"Okay then…"

"I am here to ask Miss Flowers if she could accompany me in looking for an item called 'Pajamas'. My new roommates have requested that I acquire them instead of sleeping naked as I am accustomed to."

"Ramona! Shoo the bird already! We've got company!" He shouted at the woman who had successfully dealt with 4 of the 5 birds.

"I've only got one more Scott! Lemme just get some coins!" Came the shout from behind them, then the bang then the whoops of the woman. "Oh yeah! Made 400¥ from those birds. What did you need?"

"Rei here wants to know if you can take her shopping."

"What."

In the entirety of every Evangelion media property, Rei had never asked to go shopping. So imagine the poor Ramona's surprise when the girl asked her to take the step into the unknown. Apparently she had been sleeping naked for the entire series, and even before that. It was also a shock that she had moved somewhere new, even more so that she moved in with mousy, Tumblr browsing, Ritsuko fan club founder, Maya, and Shigeru 'Engineer & HR sandwich' Aoba.

"I have been asked to acquire 'Pajamas'. I assume it is a rare item, as I have never heard of them." The blue-haired teen 'debriefed' the woman standing shocked in front of her.

"Well then, I guess we should head to the mall then." The light violet haired girl said after a few minutes of silence and shocked faces from the 25 year old.

Shopping, in Rei's opinion, was worthless. She had no need for clothes other than her school uniform. She didn't go anywhere that required a different set of clothes, and when she did, The Commander would give her said clothing.

Today was different. Searching for the 'Pajamas' with Ramona had shown Rei a whole side of shopping. She could wear many things in many different circumstances. The quest for 'Pajamas' had ended several hours ago, yet she still wanted to continue.

She had already obtained several new sets of underwear, many varying types of socks & stockings, a large assortment of outfits, a few shoes, a multitude of hair accessories, and a fancy dress for the occasion she wanted to be fancy.

Ramona herself had gotten almost nothing, but just watching the girl that would be called 'Doll' take charge and redefine her wardrobe was enough. It was made even better when she realized she didn't have to pay, as the pilots were given an exorbitant amount of cash to spend. Rei in particular had a large bank account, probably because she had never used it.

After a few hours, the trip was over. Rei had gotten her elusive 'Pajamas' and more. Getting them in the apartment was more difficult. Neither Shigeru nor Maya had room. Fortunately, Ramona had a wonderful idea. The four would clean the empty room that had belonged to Mabigh Johnson. It had been totally cleaned out by dinner. The group then set about applying new sheets, after all who like sleeping on old sheets? The act of putting the clothes in the closet was next on the docket, which took around an hour.

It was time for Ramona to head home. The method of travel is what shocked the pair of Bridge Bunnies. The woman teleported through a random door. The collective roommates, excluding Rei, let out a collective,

"What."

A knock was heard at the door.

Rei was sitting, as she often would when waiting. There was no school today, meaning she was wearing one of her new outfits. It was often when she heard such noises that she would ignore it, as they were typically no one of importance. However, with her current lack of anything to do, she decided to answer it.

"Hello Ayanami!" The Third Child spoke after the door opened. "I uhh, brought you a replacement card."

"..."

"Well, H-here you go!" He said, turning around, ready to walk back home.

"Ikari." She spoke up soon after he had turned, but before he had started walking away. "Would you… like to accompany me to the Geofront? I have my activation test soon. I would… appreciate you coming."

"S-sure Ayanami!"

The two had walked for a few minutes, as Rei's new apartment was close to the Geofront's entrance. There was very little conversation held as neither of them were known conversationists. That was until they hit the escalator.

"Do you trust The Commander's work?" Shinji finally said.

"Do you not?" Rei's reply came.

"I'm not sure… I don't trust him, but his work is another thing. It's killed 2 Angels, but how much of it was his work and how much was the scientists and engineers?"

Rei's eyes widened as the boy spoke. 'Am I truly his work? Is my creator a collective? What is my purpose if The Commander is not my creator?' "I have never thought of it that way."

"How about you Rei? Do you believe in his work?"

"I… am unsure."

The two continued to the escalator, reaching the entrance of the Geofront. Rei swiped her new card, while Shinji swiped his, allowing the pair into the Geofront. A more comfortable silence fell over the pair as they walked the halls of NERV's to where the test was taking place

Then came the activation test. Upon Rei's arrival to the padded room containing Unit-00, she hopped in the orange cyclops, then dealt with the unruly soul stuck inside.

Hey! You in the chair! Why are you resisting my influence?

'I need not your arrogant self influencing our battles. You will not enforce your will upon me.'

Fine.

All in all, it was a success. Rei controlled the Ghost in the Shell, passed the activation Sync-Ratio, & was ready to fight any angels to show up. Which they did.

Almost immediately after Rei finished the test, an angel appeared. Ramiel as it was classed, was big & diamond shaped. Soon after appearing Unit-01 was sent out, then it's pilot was fried in the entry plug. Bringing him into the hospital, where a few hours later they would meet with Rei.

"This place again. It feels like every time I go in that damn thing I end up here. Is this what happened to you Rei?"

"No, I have only been injured once. I am here to brief you on the schedule of Operation Yashima. It will begin at 0:00 AM, midnight. The two pilots, Ikari and Ayanami, will scramble at the cage at 17:30 today. At 18:00 PM, ready Units One and Zero. At 18:05 PM, launch. At 18:30 PM, arrive at the Emergency Base on Mt. Futagoyama. Wait there for further instructions. When the day changes, the operation starts. Operation starts in one hour."

"Must I get in the EVA?"

"You may choose not to. I can always pilot in Unit-01. Either way, I have brought you a meal. If you choose not to pilot, enjoy your last meal here." Rei got up and walked to the door, stopping to hear his decision.

"Ayanami Wait! I… will pilot. It'll be harder to beat the angels with only one unit. I'll see you there." The boy said before she was able to leave.

"Don't come looking like that."

"Waah… Urp! Sorry!"

After a long explanation of the operation by Misato & Ritsuko, Rei & Shinji changed and waited for midnight.

"Hey Rei, why do you pilot the EVA?"

"It is a bond, it gives me purpose."

"A bond to The Commander?"

"A bond to everything. It is all I know."

"It must be scary, being all you know. I am terrified to die in my EVA."

"You will not die. I will protect you."

"Is that your purpose, besides piloting EVA. To protect?"

"...It is time. Goodbye."

And with that, the battle commenced. Behind the entire power of Japan, his first shot collided with Ramiel's beam. Half his EVA connection was lost, but he still had the ability to operate the gun. The angel decided to fire again. Rei had fulfilled her purpose. She used her shield to protect Shinji. It didn't matter to her, she could be replaced right? But could she really? Could she trust Commander Ikari to have a complete transfer? For the first time, Rei was afraid of death. The second shot rang through the city. With an ear-splitting scream, the angel known as Ramiel collapsed in death. Unit-00 was melted in almost every place, causing the boy who killed the messengers of God to run to the tomb of the abomination made from the blood of the fallen Goddess.

"Ayanami!" He screamed as he rushed to the exposed entry plug. With the sickening sound of melting flesh he pried the cauterized vessel's manual door off, revealing the pale girl underneath the sarcophagus of EVA. "Are you alright? Don't say such sad things! Never end a conversation like that again! It's too sad!"

"Why are you crying?" The pale girl replied, not acknowledging his requests.

"Because I'm happy you are alright."

The girl then realized why the boy had this. Why he had decided to stay and pilot, why he had chosen to ask her questions, why she trusted him. He was kind to her. Very few people had been kind to her, cared how she was. And thus she wanted to grant one request by him. "I am sorry, I do not know what to do at a time like this,"

"You could try smiling."

So for the first time in her life, she let a genuine smile creep across her face. The girl who would be called 'Doll' was no more, there would only be Rei Ayanami.

A/N: Fun Fact: I am afraid of riding escalators. That's not even a joke, I refuse to ride escalators because I am terrified of being on them.

Sorry this one took so long, it had to be completely rewritten like 4 times. Rei is ungodly hard to write. Maybe that's just me though. Anyway, the next chapter comes with Asuka! THERE WILL BE NO JET ALONE. Why? Because Magmadiver A Human Work.

Shoutout Time! First is an album. I rediscovered my love for the Album A Tramp Shining by Richard Harris. Seriously, if you (for whatever reason) are reading this, LISTEN TO IT! It is probably the greatest folk album of all time.

Next is my favorite EVA fanfic of all time; After Evangelion: The Shinji Chronicles. I have rarely been so driven (wink wink) to read something more than that fic. It sucks that it was never finished. I mean it was just getting good! SO basically, it's Initial D, but with EVA characters. But it has so much flavor in it. RIP to my favorite fic. I finally got around to reading Relapse. It's really good! Also caught up on Asuka & Shinji's Infinite Playlist, it's also good. Both of these fics are settling into a grove, especially the latter.