I don't own Evangelion or Scott Pilgrim. I do own Scott Pilgrim socks and, oddly enough, an EVA tie.
OoOoO Close to the Asuk-Edge ( Solid Wall of Jericho, II. Total Ship Retain, III. Angels Up Angels Down, IV. Seasons of EVA) OoOoO
"Do you know the story of Jericho, Shinji?" The now pink haired woman known as Ramona Flowers asked the young boy across from her on the train. At this time of night, the place was empty excluding the pair. It was often the two would ride the train and talk. Sometimes it was about Ramona's job as NERV's delivery girl, other times it was about the mountains they both grew up around. But often it was stories about life lessons.
"No, I haven't," Shinji replied. He had gotten both more comfortable and personable in his time spent in Tokyo-3. He even made amends with Toji & Kensuke becoming friends. The three often met at the local arcade and played games.
"It's another story from the Bible." Shinji let out a groan. "Yeah, Yeah. But trust me, you're gonna wanna know this one.I do know what's exactly gonna happen to you, remember." Another, louder groan from Shinji. "Anyway, you remember the Israelites, those guys Moses got out of Egypt? They had forsaken the words of God and worshiped a golden bull, the Lord subsequently forced them to spend forty years wandering the desert."
"That seems harsh. I thought God was supposed to be a good guy."
"In the Old Testament, it was a bit iffy. So, the new leader of the Israelites, Joshua, decides to take over a city called Jericho once the years are over. So he does just that. The Israelites march around the Walls for 6 days once a day. On the seventh, they marched seven times, then blew on horns and shouted. The walls fell immediately. Then, because Joshua was a huge asshole, they murdered every citizen, hoofed animal, and anyone who started building new walls."
"Joshua sounds evil. Why would God allow anyone that was a mass murderer into heaven? Why did they march around the wall for seven days? How did blowing hard and shouting make a stone wall fall? This just doesn't make any sense!"
"Tis the Bible young Shinji, tis the Bible. But all that stuff about logic isn't the point. The purpose of that story is showing how to fix your past wrongs & break down the hardest obstacles with patience. I told you this because you're patient Shinji, but you don't often put in the work. Trust me, I've seen your English scores."
"I think I get it. You think I should combine my patience with hard work! That makes sense. But why tell me all the other stuff about killing people & Joshua being a jerk?"
"Because without the context of the people and their goals, the story is meaningless. If I didn't give any context, you'd be asking for it right now, ya little twerp." She said with a wink, before looking out the window next to her. Letting out a large sigh, she closed her eyes. "Sorry if it's all convoluted, I was never good at speaking my mind."
Truthfully, in this show you're in, everyone ends up miserable. That or dead. I'm in a bit over my head right now. God, I wish Japan had good Tequila."
"Oh." Was all the poor boy had in response to her revelation of hers. Shinji didn't want to end up miserable. He didn't want anyone to end up miserable either, even less so dead. He was just getting used to this place. The first place he had friends, the first place he had a family, the first place he had anyone resembling a father figure. But from the other end, both Ramona & Scott had spent months away from their friends and families. More than once he had heard them talking about people from their dimension.
"It must be hard, leaving everything you know behind without a way to return. When I left my Aunt and Uncles, I didn't care too much. Both were unkind to me, and I didn't want to return. Neither of you wanted to be here! I was requested, but you too were just thrown into a world that only existed on TV!"
"Yeah… but I'm making the best out of a bad situation. Look how much you've changed. You were, in all honesty, a wimp. But now you're growing yourself a spine. Rei too, at this point she would be all but a walking emotionless doll, but she's expressing herself! She's worn more outfits this week than she did in the entire show! I'm proud of you both."
"Thank you, Ramona."
"You're welcome kid."
(A/N: It's less serious from now on.)
Flying in a Helicopter was awful, even a fancy one like they were going on.
VTOL's were more ment for soldier transport, but technically the majority of the craft worked for NERV. Misato, Ramona, Shinji, and technically Scott, as he had to be employed to help around Central Dogma in the rare event that an incident 905 ever occurred again. (ABAB905, or 'Video Game protocol' was the term for what happened during the Shamsel fight.) That left only the likes of Kensuke & Toji.
TOJI SUZUHARA
14 YEARS OLD
SCOTT'S #1 FAN
FUN FACT: EATS MORE THAN
JOEY CHESTNUT!
"What is that thing!" The teen screeched.
"That," Scott started "Is your information bubble. We've all had one. Well except…"
KENSUKE AIDA
FUTURE ARMY SIGN ON
14 YEARS OLD
FUN FACT: KILLED A SMALL ANIMAL
ONCE, STILL CRIES ABOUT IT!
"Dark Magic." Kensuke muttered. "Where do these even come fr-"
He was interrupted when the group of 6 were shoved in the airmobile, with Misato getting the front, while the others were crammed in the back. Many 'civil' discussions were had for the multi-hour long ride to Over the Rainbow.
"I would tighten that hat, Toji. Don't want it blowing away, might be eaten by a seal." Scott said, wishing he had brought a handheld to pass the time.
"Scott, seals don't live here. That's if seals aren't extinct." Ramona scolded him.
"Aww, but then who'll eat the fish and make funny sounds!" he cried, hoping that such a travesty was avoided. After all, who would make Kiss From a Rose now?
"Seals aren't extinct! The ones from Japan are though, but that was in the Seventies." Kensuke piped up.
"Since when did you know about the marine life of Japan, Kensuke?" Toji replied. Despite him knowing the boy for years, this particular fascination was never mentioned before.
"I have my secrets…"
Not long after that interaction the large group of people finally landed. Scott kissed the ship, which was followed by Kensuke doing the same, although for a different reason, then Toji. Ramona palmed her forehead with a slight grin, Shinji let out a small chuckle, Misato was also on the floor, but from laughing so hard.
The group meandered their way across the deck of the ship. Suddenly, Toji's hat flew right off, Ramona and Scott went chasing after him, while the three remaining slowly walked to where they were.
"-ould have tightened the cap!" The voice of an irate girl came to the rest of the group.
"Told ya." That was Scott, most likely scolding Toji for his hat flying into someone else. But who was the other person, Shinji wondered.
"Hi~ya Asuka!" Misato yelled, blowing out the eardrums of the poor boys next to her.
"Ehh? Oh Hi Misato! I was just arguing with theses jerks when-"
ASUKA LANGLEY SORYU
SELF PROCLAIMED 'GOAT'
13 YEARS OLD
FUN FACT: HAS 2 COLLEGE DEGREES; 1 IN
CHEMICAL ENGINEERING, ANOTHER IN ANTHROPOLOGY
"What the hell is that!"
"You have a degree in Anthropology?" Was Ramona's question, seemingly ignoring the girl's shouts of horror.
"It's your Magic Box! Read chapter one for more info." Scott said, clicking the screen back to chapter one and back.
"You get used to it." Shinji retorted, throwing a glare at the two.
"And just who are you, stupid?" The irate girl shot back, trying to place the now vanished black box out of her mind. It was working surprisingly enough. "Misato, did you bring all these losers here?"
"That's not nice Asuka! Scott and Ramona are very nice people. They're also borderline insane and can basically teleport. This guy," She was pointing at the boy next to her, "Is the Third Child, Shinji Ikari."
"How boring. I hope the First is more interesting." She condescendingly turned away from the boy, who gave her a shrug in return. It was not going well for either of them. Shinji thought Asuka was a brat, while Asuka was one more weird thing happening from breaking down.
"How about you guys go get lunch while I check in with the crew!" Misato's waay too cheery voice said as she walked in the opposite direction the rest of the group went in.
The harrowing journey to the mess hall was just as exhausting. Toji tried imitating Scott's every move, while Shinji and Ramona chilled. Asuka was splitting hairs from just a few minutes of conversation. Kensuke was happy filming everything in mild quiet. Sitting at the largest table provided still left a few people without seats. Two of the Three Stooges had to find new seats. Shinji and Ramona were talking about some of their coworkers, leaving Scott and Asuka to talk.
"How are video games these days? I've been caught up in work, so I haven had time to play 2015 video games!" Scott said excitedly, after all it was one of the few things he spoke about.
"Well there's the new Witcher, Bloodborne, Fallout 4, and my favorite, Forza 6." She was equally excited. The very few people who knew her had seen her play an immense number of games. When she wasn't piloting EVA, she was on her imported Playstation 3. "Those are just a few. There'a a bunch more on handheld."
"Jeez, that's crazy. Video games sure have come a long way from 2004. Still, I miss my old apartment and the systems it housed." Scott lamented.
"Why 2004? Seems like an odd year to reminisce about."
"Oh yeah, you don't know! Me and Ramona are from an Alternate Dimension in 2004. Something about a Democratic Sea." A collective 'Dirac' was heard from the table.
Aska was not paying much attention to the table's corrections. She was lost in a world of questions. 'Does that prove time travel?' 'Is Multiverse theory no longer a hypothesis?' 'Maybe someone at NERV Japan could tell me this stuff.'
"-ska? Asuka!" Misato was shouting at the girl. With a 'huh' she was brought back into the conversation. "What were you doing?" Asuka replied with something about being lost in thought, before quickly raving about the unshaven man Misato brought with her.
"So Shinji, I hear you're living with Misato. Tell me, is she still wild in bed?" The man asked.
Everyone excluding the three boys at the table freaked out. Shinji was just confused, the man was sitting smugly, Scott was writing on a notepad he had gotten from somewhere.
"I guess. I can hear her snoring from My room." The still socially inept kid replied.
Well then, My name's-"
RYOJI KAJI
[REDACTED]
30 YEARS OLD
FUN FACT: STILL IN LOVE
WITH MISATO KATSURAGI!
"Where did that come from?" Kaji said, standing up and looking around frantically.
"You're… Still in love with me?" Misato's surprisingly small voice said. She was looking down at the table, trying not to blush and failing miserably.
"Katsuragi I…" His confession was interrupted when the German girl called upon the third child to follow her to the next ship over. Luckily the two other adults had clued in on what was going to happen and decided to escort the kids.
"Alright Asuka, this may feel weird. Subspace is a bit hard the first time, so hold my hand." The German was visibly annoyed, but took it anyway. Especially after Shinji grabbed onto Scott with dear life.
'Bit hard' was an understatement. If that was a 'bit hard' than fighting the Angels was going to be easy. The two that transported them there then left the children to oogle the EVA together.
"She wasn't joking about Teleporting was she?" The girl asked Shinji.
"Wait until they enter your dreams!" He replied too happily for Auska's taste.
"They can do that?"
"Yeah, it's freaky. It can help a lot though, like how they helped with my abandonment issues."
"You have abandonment issues? Isn't your dad The Commander?"
"He is also the 5 time winner of the Worst Dad of the Year award. So you lose some, you lose some more. That doesn't even mention the physical and mental stress the EVA puts on you."
The two walked in silence until reaching the tarp covered 'robot'. Asuka foolishly climbed it, while Shinji yelled at her to get down. Then the angel attacked.
"What is even happening!" Auska screamed.
"It's a code ABAB905, AKA 'Video Game Protocol'" Scott's voice boomed in her ear. "Don't worry, I'm an expert. I guided Shinji through the only other 905 ever recorded, you're in good hands!"
"Scott, even I know you're not an expert in Fishing Simulators." Shinji spoke up from behind. He was in his normal Plug Suit as Ramona suggested he bring.
There was a long silence before Auska turned off her comms. There was no point in communication when the angel was gonna be beaten with fishing lines and a rod. Still, It was better than dying, at least for Shinji. He then had a brilliant idea to pass the time while waiting for the angel to bite, talk to her.
"Why do you pilot the EVA?" Shinji asked the girl.
"To prove I'm the best of course!" She replied enthusiastically.
"But what if you weren't one day? Like someone was slightly better than you?"
"Is that a threat, Third?" The now defensive Asuka growled. "Because if it is…"
"No! I just wanted to know. It's good to have a reason to pilot. Rei, she's the First Child, pilot's because it's her 'bond', Whatever that means. I used to pilot because I had nothing else, or for approval because it was all anyone needed me for. Now? I do it because it allows someone to see their loved ones again."
"I guess…" Asuka hesitated. 'Why the hell should this wimp know why I pilot? But he did just tell me a very private matter...'"I'd be fine if someone was slightly better than me."
After a long silence Shinji spoke up once again. "You ever gone fishing? Kensuke takes me when we go camping. I find it relaxing, just letting the world come to you."
"I used to go with my Papa often, before… It's been a while. Didn't you say your dad 'won' Worst Dad of the Year 5 times. What years were they?"
"2004, 2006, 2011, 2015, & 2016. Why?"
"Mine got it in 2001. He cheated on my Mama, she wasn't able to conceive." She took a long pause after the statement. "I was a test tube baby. She got the sperm from an 'elite' selection hand picked by her."
The silence then encompassed them for the entire wait for Gaghiel, but unlike before, it was one of understanding and much less awkwardness. The water started rustling, the line was getting tighter, the angel had decided to arrive.
A bar popped overhead on Unit-02's visual monitors. It was currently in the green, but had red on the outer edges and yellow in between. The goal was obvious, keep the line in the green, and do not let it hit the red. It started out a little rough. Immediately it veered into the left-yellow side, but not close to the red. Asuka got it back to green though. It was smooth sailing from there, as both of their knowledge of fishing made it easy.
After catching Gaghiel was another story. Where were they going to put it? As the two turned their comms back on, Misato came up and gave them an idea. There was a completely empty lake in the Geofront. And thus, Gaghiel was renamed Shamu, as requested by Scott, who somehow had 21 favors to cash in.
"I'm staying where?" Asuka questioned the nervous Misato.
"With Scott & Ramona. I don't have any room in my apartment, and it's not responsible ro leave you alone in NERV's facilities. You've also been signed up for school, class 2-A." The Captain replied.
"But I've got two degrees!"
"One of them is Anthropology. You've got a degree and a half."
"Fine."
The pair then began moving the boxes shipped from Germany into the new apartment. Several distinct items were unpacked first. Most notably to Ramona were the CDs labeled 'Symphony X'.
"Holy Hell! There are more Symphony X CDs than in my world! This is awesome!" Ramona cried. She hadn't been this excited in so long.
"Oh yeah, you're from the past! There's been 3 more since 2004. Paradise Lost, Iconoclast, and most recently, Underworld. Wait a second… Where's Twilight In Olympus?!"
"Oh, don't worry, I've got a copy in my bag." She said, reaching into her subspace bag and pulling out a copy of the album. It was slightly worn, having had lots of love.
"No, no, you don't understand. It was signed by every member!" Asuka displayed with fear not thought possible by anyone who had seen the series.
That night, the sounds of crying women were heard across all of Tokyo-3.
A/N: First time I've not used a Vol. Title parody for the chapter name. If you can guess what the title is based off, you win a free lifetime supply of air!
This is it boys, girls, and those who are neither, the premise that made me write this! Asuka lives with Scott & Ramona and chaos ensues. Originally, she would be the only one who knew they were book characters and it would be a running joke that everyone thought she was insane. But in hindsight, it doesn't really make sense.
Shoutout to a playlist of Prog-Rock songs I made that's 6+ hours long. I wrote this thing while giving it a full listen through. At the exact moment I'm writing this, I'm in the middle of the last song.
This is probably the tone the fic is gonna take for the rest of the way. A good mix between lighthearted fun and serious conversations between characters. I think this is my best chapter yet, but I hope to continue improving!
A/N 2; Electric Boogaloo: Minor mistakes corrected.