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Aurelius finally gets some Karma in this chap- the beginning of the end for him ;)
"Based on the look on your face, I take it that you do know", Gryffindor's voice was still calm, "come here, time to put it on."
He stepped back reflexively, "no!"
"Yes, Thomas- you will have to, or you won't go outside."
He forced back the tears, his whole body was trembling now, "that…this was never part of the deal!", he finally managed to say through clenched teeth.
Gryffindor just laughed, "did you really think I would make it this easy for you? Let you go outside and let you run away?"
"I…don't want to run away, I just wanted to get some fresh air, that's it!"
Liar.
"Do not lie to me, Thomas", Gryffindor's voice had an edge of steel in it now, "as I said, the choice is yours- now, are you going to be a good boy and put it on, or do you want to go to bed?"
This is not a choice- this is bullshit!
He desperately tried to blink back the tears, "you are enjoying this", he eventually hissed, "you like humiliating me, and…I am not gonna let you, I won't!"
"Bedtime, then?", Gryffindor seemed completely unmoved, "it's your choice, Thomas."
He balled his hands into angry fists, "I don't want to go to bed! I want to go outside, and you…you promised…"
"I never promised you that you can go on your own", Gryffindor replied calmly, "besides, no one will see you, Thomas- it's just you and me."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?", Tom spat out, "it's…it's fucking degrading, I am not a…not a kid, I don't…need this!"
"Language, Thomas", Gryffindor answered mildly, "and as long as you act like a naughty little boy, you will get treated like one- and that means, every time I take you outside, you will be in a harness, and you will stay close to me, and you will behave."
"And if I don't, you will pull on the leash, right?", Tom snarled, his eyes blasting with fury, "I hate this, I…I hate you!"
He half expected Gryffindor to punish him now, but the Founder merely raised an eyebrow, "you are going to miss the sunset, Thomas."
He did not respond, he just stood there, fighting against the tears.
"Come on, Tommy", Gryffindor's voice was quiet now, "ten minutes, okay? We will look at the sunset, and I'll show you the lake- and if you behave, I let you see the stables next time."
Stables. Ohmygod. He has stables.
"Stables…with horses?"
"Horses, and cows, and sheep, and pigs…it's quite the little farm", Gryffindor replied casually, "the house elves are taking care of everything- I haven't been there to check everything in a while, which means I do need to go over there soon to make sure everything is fine- and I could need some help with that."
"I can help!", Tom blurted out before he could stop himself, "I…I mean, I could maybe help with the horses, and…and…", he blushed.
"That would be great", Gryffindor was smiling at him now, "there is always work, especially with the horses", he had come closer now, holding the harness up, and Tom knew what was going to happen next, and yet, he did not resist.
"How many…horses do you have?"
"Hmm…let me think…", Gryffindor was quiet for a moment, while he gently started to put him in the harness, "there's five horses- do you want to know their names, Tommy?"
"Yeah", he was staring at the ground, unable to watch Gryffindor putting that thing on him.
"Well, there's Tucker…and there's Moonlight…and there's Bella…", Gryffindor recited and tightened the straps on him, "and then there's Teddy- and our wild one, that's Dash."
"He's…wild?"
"Untamed", Gryffindor sounded amused now, "reminds me of you, actually. He hates his bridle and his saddle."
"I can relate", Tom mumbled, looking down on himself, his stomach clenching when he saw how tight the harness was, "just…ten minutes, right?"
"Ten minutes", Gryffindor answered softly, "and Tommy- I will use the leash if I have to, but you won't make me, right?"
He shook his head, the lump in his throat preventing him from speaking.
"Good boy- let's go then."
This is not happening…it's not real…
But it was real- he was led outside on a leash, which was connected to the toddler restraint leash he was wearing, and he could not run, he could not jump, he could not even go wherever he wanted to go- he had to follow Gryffindor, he had to follow the damn leash.
The sunset was almost over, and the sky was orange, and pink, and purple, and the air smelled fresh and clean and like fall, and he could hear the frogs croaking, and he felt the breeze of the wind in his face, and before he knew it, he was smiling.
I missed this. I missed this so much.
"Let's go to the lake, Tommy", Gryffindor suggested, his voice still soft, "there's something I want you to see."
Tom followed him obediently, and the lake was the most beautiful lake he had ever seen in his life, the water was clear, clear enough to look below the surface- and he gasped in surprise when he saw it.
"A hippo…campus!", he was stuttering from the excitement, "I've never seen one! I thought it's just a legend, I thought they don't really exist!"
"Oh, they do- not many of them, but they do. Would you like to touch him?"
"Him?"
Gryffindor smiled, "his name is Marlin. He is domesticated, so no reason to be afraid."
"I…am not afraid", Tom lied, but he instinctively stepped closer to Gryffindor when the creature emerged from the water seconds later, and then he stared at the hippocampus in amazement, "can…can he talk?", he whispered at Gryffindor, and the Founder laughed, "no, Tommy, but he can understand you- hippocampi are very intelligent. Go on, pet him."
Marlin was looking at him now in a friendly way, and Tom swallowed, "hi…hi Marlin."
The hippocampus slightly bowed his head, and that sign gave Tom the courage to go on, "I am Tom…I…uhm…it's nice to meet you."
Marlin bowed his head again and made some noise that sounded like a mix between a whinny and a squeal.
"I think he likes you", Gryffindor remarked, "you can pet him right there- just like you would a horse."
Tom carefully stretched out his hand, and Marlin made the same noise again, quieter this time, and then, he gently petted the sea creature and Marlin looked at him with his friendly blue eyes, and Tom had to swallow.
"Good boy…you are being such a good boy tonight", Gryffindor murmured, petting the hippocampus as well.
"I am being a good boy, too!"
Shit, shit, SHIT, did I just say that out loud?
Tom wanted to die from embarrassment when Gryffindor turned to look at him, "how could I forget", he sounded amused, "you are being a very good boy for me actually- which means I'll let you come to the stables with me, Tommy."
He did not look up, "tha…thank you", he finally stuttered, still feeling embarrassed.
Marlin saved him by doing some crazy stunts in the water now, and seconds later, he was laughing, completely forgetting what he had said, and completely forgetting that he was still on a leash.
"Come on, Tommy, time to go", Gryffindor eventually said, "it is getting cold- and it's time for you to go to bed."
Tom really wanted to stay longer, he did not want to go inside, and he was not even tired- and he had already opened his mouth to tell Gryffindor that, but he froze when Gryffindor held up the leash, "ten minutes, Thomas", his voice was calm, but Tom could hear the underlying danger, "bedtime now for little boys- let's go."
He blushed, "not…a boy…", but next thing he knew, he had to yawn, which made him blush even more.
They said goodbye to Marlin, and then Tom followed Gryffindor back inside, and stood perfectly still while Gryffindor took the harness off him, and then he let Gryffindor take him to his room, and he let him tuck him in again, and before he knew it, he was asleep.
Aurelius was looking at him for what felt like an eternity, and eventually, he stepped to the side, "come on in, Scipius. I have a surprise for you", his voice was cold and hard, and Sirius' last hope that his fake brother might not be upset, might not know yet, died.
He slowly stepped inside, and he did not have to ask what the surprise was: Right in front of the fireplace lay an enormous log of wood, and the edges looked sharp enough to cut glass.
His knees started to burn just by looking at it.
"Aurelius…please…let me expla…"
"Oh, I will let you explain, Scipius- go kneel on the log, and then you will have all the time in the world to explain yourself", his voice had gotten even colder, "I actually cannot wait to hear your little explanations- and I am sure my father will be just as curious to know as soon as he hears about your latest act of disobedience."
Sirius sobbed in fear, "please…please don't tell him! Please don't! I'll do everything, I swear, I behave!", he hastily went over to the log, knowing that any more hesitations would anger Aurelius even more, "I…am so sorry!", he sobbed again when the sharp edges of the wood sank into his knees, the pure agony of it indescribable.
Aurelius watched him, his face completely emotionless, and then he grabbed a drink and sat down on the couch, just inches away from him, but yet it felt like they were miles apart.
He took a sip of his drink, while he was still watching him cry and suffer on the log, "now, Scipius- what pathetic little explanation do you have for me?"
Sirius was crying, the pain and the fear and the sadness and the guilt overwhelming inside him, and knowing that he had been trying to fool himself- Aurelius would never be his brother, Aurelius would never love or even respect him…and for some reason, that was the worst of it all.
"I am patiently waiting, Scipius", Aurelius now said, sounding anything but patient.
"Colin…my friend…he…he needed my help…Snape…he was so mean to him…and…", he felt his knees starting to bleed and whimpered in anguish, "please…Aurelius, it hurts, it hurts!"
"Does it? It's barely been five minutes, Scipius- and since you will have to kneel for an hour today, you should try to get used to the pain, just imagine what it will feel like thirty minutes from now on", he was smiling at him, but the smile seemed forced, and Sirius stared at him in horror, "I…you…you can't! Please! Please! It hurts so bad, I'll never be able to walk again…", his cries turned desperate, "I am so sorry, I…"
"I am not interested in listening to your whining, Scipius", Aurelius interrupted him, "I want to know why you thought it was a good idea to disrespect a Professor- Snape of all people- in his own classroom, in front of other students, knowing he does not tolerate any impertinent behavior. That is what I want to know."
"I…just was mad…because he was being so mean to Colin, and I wanted to stick up for Colin", Sirius stammered, his face wet with tears.
"Playing the hero, Sirius Black?", and he said his real name like it was an insult, "after all, you were known back in the day for being such a righteous and ethical student, right?"
There was a silence.
"I wasn't", his voice was barely a whisper now, "and…I wasn't a good godfather to Harry and I know I wasn't a good…brother to you. I am sorry…I…I will try to sort it out, but please…"
"Damn straight you will sort it out!", Aurelius hissed, and for some reason, he seemed angrier now than he had before, "and if you have to crawl and beg in front of Snape, you will- and you will apologize to Dumbledore, and if you dare to brag about this whole thing to your friends, or even make it sound that it was somehow justified because you were defending that clumsy Creevey boy, I will make you kneel on the log for a whole night, right here, in front of the hot fire. Do you understand me?"
Sirius trembled. He had seen Aurelius angry before, even furious, but this right now was a whole new level of rage.
"Yes…Aurelius, I understand", he whispered, "I…I am really sorry for messing up the plan and…"
"Messing up the plan?", Aurelius repeated scornfully, "what nonsense are you talking about? The plan has not changed, Scipius- and if you think I let you get off scot-free now, you are mistaken. You will get me the cloak, and you will still be my meek little brother in public- at least your acting skills are decent, as I could see earlier today", his voice was bitter now, and Sirius had no idea why.
I wasn't acting.
"I…I am sorry about earlier, but I was n…"
"Spare me the details, Scipius!", Aurelius snarled, "I know what you were trying to do- manipulate me so I would not punish you for your stunt in Snape's class. Did you really think I would fall for that?"
"I wasn't…"
"Did you really think I would like it when you hug me or sit on my lap? Newsflash, Scipius: I do not", Aurelius went on, completely ignoring his response, "I don't want your hugs, or kisses, or stupid little smiles, and I certainly don't want you to tell me that you love me- you are nothing but a burden, Scipius, and I cannot wait until I don't have to pretend that I care about you anymore- because I don't."
I don't. I don't. I don't.
Sirius did not respond, he could not respond, he was completely still now, and he just felt…numb. There was no emotion left inside him anymore, he actually did not even feel alive anymore.
You are nothing but a burden.
I don't want your hugs.
I cannot wait until I don't have to pretend that I care about you anymore.
You are a burden.
I don't want you.
I don't care about you.
Burden.
Burden.
Burden…
And then suddenly something inside him snapped, and he got up, his pants soaked in blood, and his knees a mush of bloody flesh, and he looked at Aurelius, and then it all came blurting out of him.
"And you are nothing but a bully", he spat out, "you know why I really got so angry when Snape was mean to Colin? Because he reminded me of you- and all of your tortures, and your cruelty towards me. I know I was not a good brother to you, but I fucking tried! I even picked up your damn pillow the other day when you were asleep, and…and I tried out as a Seeker because I wanted to show you that I am not completely useless, and…", he took a deep breath, "I wasn't even pretending, not once. I know you don't believe me, and you know what? I could care less what you think about me now- I'll get you the cloak, but after that, I hope I never ever have to see or talk to you for the rest of my life. Have a good night", and without waiting for Aurelius to respond, without even looking at him, he turned around and marched out of the room- the adrenaline giving him enough strength to walk halfway normally with his injured knees.
It was his mistake to not look at Aurelius' face before he left- because if he had looked, he would have seen that Aurelius was crying.
Angry as he was though, he did not waste another thought on Aurelius, he stormed back to the Common Room, which was empty- it had gotten late, and everyone was in bed already.
The adrenaline lessened, and he suddenly felt the anguish from his bleeding knees again- so he made his way to the bathroom to take care of his injuries.
He groaned in pain when he slowly pulled down his pants, completely forgetting that he had left the bathroom door wide open.
Damn, this hurts…what am I goi…
"Scipius?", it sounded shocked.
Shit.
Someone came closer, and Sirius silently cursed himself for being so loud, realizing seconds later that the boy in front of him was no one else but Colin- Colin who was staring at his tortured knees in complete and utter horror, "what…happened? Who…who did this to you?"
Sirius forced himself to laugh, "it's…worse than it looks, I fell and…"
"Did Aurelius do this?"
Oh Shit.
Gryffindor took him out a couple more times during the next days- he showed him the orchard with its big apple trees, and he let him see Marlin again, but he never let him off the leash- so he was never able to go wherever he wanted to.
It was degrading, and it was humiliating- but he knew that rebelling would only result in Gryffindor not to take him out at all anymore, and he was not ready to give up the opportunity to feel the wind on his face, to hear the birds sing and the frogs croak, and to touch the grass he walked on.
Today was finally the day Gryffindor would take him to the stables- he had been excited all morning, and for the first time ever, he had managed to stay awake during quiet time, too excited to sleep.
Gryffindor had been gone all morning, he disappeared quite often, and he never told him where he was going and when he would be back- but he had promised him to take him to the stables in the afternoon.
Finally, he heard Gryffindor's voice coming from the hallway, and without thinking, he spun around and ran to greet him, "you're back!", he had run too fast and could not stop himself anymore, so he landed right in Gryffindor's arms.
Damnit, he'll be angry…
"Hey there, Tommy", Gryffindor easily picked him up and hugged him, "are you just excited to see me or are you excited to go see the stables?"
Tom struggled, "uhm…both?", he tried and Gryffindor laughed, "missed you, too- well, are you ready to go then? As I said, the house elves could really use the help."
"Yes, I am ready!", Tom struggled again and Gryffindor gently put him back down, "go get your harness then, I'll wait on the patio for you."
Tom froze, suddenly realizing what Gryffindor had said- the house elves could need some help.
The house elves…
"Tommy? Go get your harness, you know the rules", Gryffindor's voice was still soft, just like he knew that he was not being disobedient on purpose.
"Sir?"
"Yes, Tommy?"
"Are…are there a lot of house elves at the stables?"
"About ten I think- it is a lot of work; I probably need to hire some more soon- why are you asking?"
Tom looked down, his face turning red, "it's just…they will see me."
They will see me in the harness, like I am some toddler who might run away any second.
There was a silence.
"Are you asking me to not put you in the harness?", Gryffindor eventually asked, his voice calm, "why would I do that?"
Tom swallowed, "I…I know I have not been…very nice to the house elves- and maybe…I deserve it that I…that they see me like that, but…I have been so excited, and…I…I just…I could…maybe help in the kitchen for a day…maybe?"
He slowly looked up, expecting Gryffindor to be annoyed with him now for begging, or to be upset, but to his surprise, Gryffindor was smiling.
"That is a great idea, Tommy- alright, I won't put the harness on you, but you will have to hold my hand just until we get there. Deal?"
He still does not trust me.
"Okay, deal", he finally responded, "then…we can go now, right?"
"Yes, we can go now", Gryffindor carefully held out his hand, "you will like the stables- and the horses, too. Dash is really beautiful, and a couple months ago, he…"
Gryffindor kept telling him tales about the horses, distracting him from the fact that he had to walk holding his hand like a little boy, and when they got to the stables, Gryffindor let him go and he was allowed to run inside on his own.
The stables were huge- and there was so much to see, he did not even know where to look first.
The horses were all magnificent- but Dash was certainly the most stunning horse he had ever seen. He did not dare touching him though, not wanting to make Gryffindor angry, but he kept standing in front of his box, looking at the wild horse.
"He's beautiful", he murmured when Gryffindor appeared next to him, "do you ever ride him?"
"I tried- once. It did not go very well", Gryffindor admitted, "he is not tame enough yet- but if you want to ride someday, you could use Moonlight- he is a nice, easygoing horse."
I don't want nice and easy.
"Does that mean you will let me ride?"
"As soon as I can trust you not to run away anymore, yes, I will let you go riding, Tom."
Tom swallowed hard, "I can't…I can't promise you that…that I won't try."
"I know", Gryffindor's voice was soft, "but one day, you might be able to promise me that- and until then, you won't be allowed to ride."
"Yes, Sir", there was nothing else to say, he knew Gryffindor would not change his mind, but it still…hurt for some reason.
"Come on- I want to show you the rest of the stable. One of the cows just had a calf, and it is already trying to run."
I want to run, too.
Gryffindor seemed to have guessed what he was thinking, "if you want, you can go run on the fields for a while, I need someone to count the sheep anyways."
Tom's face immediately lit up, "really? Right now?"
"Yes, right now- let me show you the field", he took him outside again to a huge, fenced in field.
"Last count was 48- let me know if that's still accurate."
"Will do!", Tom shouted back, he had already sped off. It was a mild afternoon, the sun was shining, and the field did not seem to end, and he ran and ran and ran, and he was laughing with pure happiness.
This is awesome!
And he forgot about everything that had happened, he just ran and let the sun shine on his face, and finally, he got to the flock of sheep and the sheep bleated and tried to get away from him, but he still managed to count them all, even though it took some time.
After he was done, he was staring at the field.
I could just keep running…maybe there's a hole in the fence somewhere, maybe…maybe…
But then he sighed and slowly turned around. Gryffindor would know- he always knew, and he did not want to risk losing his newfound freedom.
So, he ran back to the stable, and Gryffindor was already waiting for him, raising an eyebrow in a silent question.
"51", Tom said breathlessly, "you've got three more."
"Thank you, Tommy- well done", Gryffindor was smiling at him, "you know, I could really use a stable boy here- are you interested in the job?"
Tom came closer, "would that mean I would spend all day here and work?", he tried not to sound too happy, but Gryffindor saw right through him and laughed, "nice try, Tommy- no, it would mean that you would spend your afternoons here- I would come with you at first, but if you are doing well, I might let you work here with the house elves supervising you."
"What's the pay like?"
"It is three Galleons an hour", Gryffindor responded, an amused tone in his voice, "and there is potential to be promoted to assistant to the stable manager- and furthermore, the work uniform and a training are provided."
"Is it a paid training?"
Gryffindor had to laugh again, "yes, Tommy, you will get paid for the training."
Tom blinked, "there's…a catch, right?", he eventually said hesitantly, "because this sounds too good to be true."
"Come here."
He obediently went over to Gryffindor, who carefully picked him up and sat him on top of the fence right in front of him, so that he was facing the Founder, "well, the job does have one condition, Tom- and I think you might know what I am talking about, hmm?"
Tom swallowed and looked down, "I…I have to study", he mumbled, sounding resigned.
"Every day", Gryffindor confirmed and then carefully lifted up his chin so that he was forced to look at him, "you will have to shower every morning, comb your hair, wear appropriate clothing and study until lunch- and if you don't finish your work…"
"I'll get the cane, I know", he hated how bitter he sounded.
"That as well- but you will also have to spend your afternoon with finishing your work instead of going to the stables."
"I could finish it after lunch", Tom said quietly, "and still go to the stables."
"You will have quiet time after lunch, Tommy."
"I don't like quiet time."
"I know…it's a little scary, right?", Gryffindor's voice was soft, "but you need to rest, Tommy. You are a child, and you can't spend all morning studying and all afternoon doing hard labor- it would be too much for you."
"I…could study less maybe", he tried again, and this time, Gryffindor just shook his head, "no, Tommy- you need an education. Studying is a lot more important than working at the stables."
It is not!
He did not say that though, he just pressed his lips together tightly, and Gryffindor sighed, "I know you don't believe that- but the more you study, the easier it will get. Come on now, we have to go back- it is time for dinner."
He held out his hand and Tom took it, getting slowly off the fence.
They walked back in silence, and when they were almost home, Tom finally spoke again, "I…I will take the job", he said in a low voice, "but…can I also impose a condition?"
"As long as it has nothing to do with your studies or quiet time, yes- even though usually employees don't get to do that."
"I…I want to take care of Dash by myself- not for the money, just…want to be part of his training, and…maybe…", he struggled to finish his sentence.
I need a friend- someone like Thunder, someone who loves me.
"You would have to get up early to feed him, clean his box and let him out- every morning. And you would have to scrub him at night, and clean his box again…it would be a lot of work, Tom."
"I…I know, but…I really want to try, please, Sir, I won't disappoint you, I can get up early and…"
"Dash is very wild, Tom- he can hurt you."
Not as much as your cane hurts me.
"I'll be careful. Please…please…"
Gryffindor sighed, "alright, fine- you can try. If it is affecting your studies though, or if you are being irresponsible, you will have to stop, understand?"
"Yes, Sir", Tom was grinning from ear to ear, "thank you, Sir!"
He was still grinning when he sat down to eat dinner- after Gryffindor had made him was his hands and brush his hair- and for the first time he had been here, he was truly and really happy.
He would be allowed to take care of the most magnificent horse ever- and he would train him, and take good care of him- and one day, he would saddle him and ride far, far away.
yeah that's it for now! in the next chap, tom makes a very stupid decision, sirius and colin talk and there's a little more info on aurelius, too!
Feedback is appreciated :)
xoxo, Antonie