hey :) thank you to luvinmylife247365 and Guest for their reviews! :) This chapter will finally have Godric's reaction in it- and some shameless Sirius & Aurelius fluff XD
hope you all like it!
"What happened?", Salazar hurried closer, his face an expression of concern, "are you alright? You look like you have seen a ghost."
Godric wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, "well, I did in a way", he sighed, and it sounded tired, "I…could need some tea…and…I don't even know what else- a time-turner I guess."
"Let's go sit down", Salazar suggested and they went over to one of the small living rooms with a fireplace and sat on the couch, "the house elves will bring you some tea in a minute- now, what happened? What do you need a time- turner for?"
"I messed it up", Godric's voice was quiet, and full of guilt, "I am…a horrible father. I…messed it up with all three of them- Aurelius, Thomas, and Sirius- it's no wonder they all hate me."
And to Salazar's shock, the Gryffindor buried his face in his hands and started to cry, "I did not even know- I don't seem to know anything about these boys…Aurelius- he…he…is taking some kind of drugs to be…smarter, because my expectations…"
"…are too high", Salazar finished his sentence, his voice soft, "Godric, I tried to tell you that multiple times- Aurelius is not an adult, he is a child- and you have forgotten to see him, your boy, behind all those…studies, and accomplishments."
"Did you know…he was taking something?"
"I did not- but it does not surprise me. Aurelius has always moved heaven and hell to please you and I am guessing he felt like he had no other choice to get the elder wand from Dumbledore than to be perfect at everything- did it not surprise you when he got on the Quidditch team? When has he ever played Quidditch?"
"It…did not", Godric's voice was still quiet, "I…I did not even think about it, I just…expected him to be…perfect."
"Did Aurelius tell you how he felt?", Salazar asked gently, "because I always thought he was too afraid to speak up…"
"He…he didn't…Sirius told me."
Salazar had to smile, "Sirius is a loyal brother."
"I know…", Godric did not look up, "and I messed it up even more with him- I forced all of this onto him, I…terrified him, I…I made him bring me the cloak- and you know what the worst part is? He actually did get the cloak- and I did not thank him, instead I told Aurelius that he is…a failure for not bringing me the elder wand."
Salazar did not respond for a minute, but when he did, his voice was firm, "Godric, we both know how important the plan is- but don't you think you have gone too far? You need to stop this- you need to bring the boys home, and I will get the elder wand somehow."
"That's…probably best", Godric mumbled, "you know, Sirius told me that Aurelius made him kneel on a log- and accused me of doing the same to Aurelius."
"He was scaring him into obedience", Salazar's voice sounded accusatory now, "you met the boys, how could you not see that Aurelius was abusing him?"
"I…I did not ask- I did not care, I just cared about the damn plan", Gryffindor let out a small, unhappy laugh, "Dumbledore might not win the war- but he already won anyways, by destroying my family. I was…blind."
"You were", Salazar agreed, "but I hope you will change your behavior now- the boys deserve a father who loves them unconditionally."
"Yes, they do", Gryffindor answered quietly, "I will go see them tonight and bring them home- and I will have to do a lot of apologizing", he took a sip of his tea, "and they are not even my biggest problem- Tom hates me as well."
"Tom does not hate you- he is just confused and he does not understand yet", Salazar responded, "I do not think you have made any mistakes with Tom- he has been good for you actually. He relaxed you in a way- and you have been the father for him he desperately needs."
"I don't know about that- he told me that all I have been doing since he got here is punishing him- and he's right."
"No, he's not- you have been teaching him, you have been helping him- it's just that he does not understand why you spanked him."
"I…I thought he was ready for it, I thought…"
"I know", Salazar was smiling at him now, "and he was- you probably should have comforted him more though- how many times did you hug him, or ruffled his hair, or let him sit on your lap?"
Godric swallowed hard, "not…as much as I should have", he admitted, "as I said, I failed…I failed all three of them."
"Don't be so hard on yourself", Salazar said gently, "I think if you talk to Aurelius, he will understand- just be honest with him- and listen to him, listen to what he wants."
"And…Sirius?"
"Sirius might need a little more than that- after all, your relationship with him is still very new- you need to show him that you care, not just say it."
"Alright. Alright, I can do that- and…Tom?"
He was dreading Salazar's answer to that question the most.
"I think you need to give Tom some space to understand what he wants", Salazar suggested calmly, "you are both not at a good place right now, and you will have to give Sirius a lot of your attention when the boys come home- something Tom will most likely not understand."
"You…you can't mean…"
"I think Tom should go to the orphanage for a while- just so he can figure everything out on his own. He does not understand yet that you spanked him because you love him- and he is so full of rage and hatred towards you that there is literally nothing now you can say to him that will change that- he would just think you are lying to him to get him to eat and study again."
"But…if I send him away, he's going to think I don't want him…"
"He already thinks that- and he is asking to go, he needs space, Godric. You cannot keep him in that room forever."
"How long do you think it's going to take?"
"Until he realizes that you love him? Probably not very long- after all, he will meet a lot of other children there, and their stories will most likely have some effect on him."
Godric groaned, "I…I don't know if I can do this…"
"You could visit him- write him…", Salazar's voice was full of compassion, "I know this sounds brutal, but Tom needs to see all of this from another angle- or you might lose him."
"You are probably right."
"Besides, there will be quite some jealousy between Tom and Sirius at some point- so it is better if you have an established relationship with both of them before they meet."
"You should have raised all three on your own, you know that? You would have done a much better job."
"Well, I certainly did not do a good job with Tom in the beginning- he overwhelmed me."
"He is a lot to handle", Gryffindor mumbled, "well- when should I take him?"
"Since you want to bring the boys back tonight, you should go today."
"But…where…"
"I already did some research- and there is a very nice orphanage not far from here- all boys, small classes…and they are all Muggles, so no one will know anything about his history."
"Muggles? He is going to hate that."
"We cannot risk sending him somewhere where Dumbledore might be waiting for him."
Godric sighed, "good point- alright, I will go talk to him", he got up, "I hope he is not going to throw another temper tantrum."
He did not- and when Godric carefully told him that they would respect his wish and take him to an orphanage, he stayed silent- and emotionless.
I knew he was gonna get rid of me as soon as he could.
"This is only temporary, just until we…have figured some things out", he heard Gryffindor say and he had to force himself not to snort in disbelief.
Temporary- sure thing. You mean temporary until you find some idiot who adopts me?
"Is there anything you want to take from here? The house elves are packing some of your clothes, but if there is…"
"No, certainly not- what else would I want to take? The harness? The cane? Or maybe some soap?", he registered triumphantly that Gryffindor winced.
"Tom…you know I did not mean it like that- are you sure you don't want anything else? Books? Toys? Some…"
"I want Dash", he interrupted the Founder, "Dash was the only good thing about this goddamn place anyways."
"The only good thing?", Gryffindor repeated quietly, "very well then- let's go."
He seemed sad all of a sudden, and again, Tom had no idea why- he should be happy that he does not have to deal with me any longer.
The house elves appeared with his suitcase- and then, this was it.
I am really leaving…
He forced back the tears that wanted to come out, not even knowing what he was crying about- this was good, this was what he wanted…
They apparated.
The orphanage was a small, white building, and the teachers and nurses seemed nice enough, and the dormitory was a bright, spacious room- but when Gryffindor turned to say goodbye, he had to control himself to not start crying right away.
"I will visit you soon, Tommy- and you can write me, and tell me how you are doing, okay?"
He nodded, not trusting his voice enough to speak.
"You are going to be my good boy, right?"
"Ye…yes."
Gryffindor smiled at him, a warm, soft smile, "I'll miss you, Tommy."
No, you won't.
"Do…do I get to visit you, too?", he blurted out before he could stop himself, hating himself for being so weak.
His heart clenched when Gryffindor slowly shook his head, "no, Tommy- but you get to come home once you know why you are here."
"I…I already know that- cause I am too much trouble", he refused to look at the Founder, and Gryffindor sighed, "no, that's not true- but anyways, I have to get going. I will write you, Tommybear."
Tommybear.
He was not able to say anything, and his heart shattered when Gryffindor finally turned around and left- and as soon as the Founder was gone, he broke into tears.
Don't leave me here! Don't…go!
"Gryffindor wants me to come back, right?", he hated how scared he sounded, but he could not help it- after all, he knew what the Founder was capable of.
To his surprise, Aurelius shook his head, "he left, actually- said he needs some time and that he will be back later- and he might have said something else, but I immediately ran after you, so I don't know."
"Why did you come after me?", he did not look at the older boy, still feeling guilty about what he had made him endure.
"I think we should talk", Aurelius responded quietly, "I mean…I owe you an explanation."
Sirius bit his lips, feeling uncomfortable, "you…don't owe me anything", he mumbled, "but yeah, I guess we can talk."
"Let's go back then", Aurelius suggested, and even though he really did not want to enter the quarters ever again, he silently followed the older boy through the empty hallway.
Aurelius closed the door behind them and Sirius blinked in astonishment when he saw the cloak on the floor, "your dad did not even take it? After everything…"
Aurelius snorted, he sounded amused, "oh no, he did- this one is a magical replication, so Harry will not get suspicious. The replication only lasts for about a week though."
"And…after that?"
"Well, hopefully, I have what I need from Dumbledore by then so that I can get out of here", Aurelius replied.
There was a silence.
"What…do you need from Dumbledore?", Sirius finally asked, desperately trying to avoid talking about what had happened between them.
"His elder wand."
Sirius let out a disbelieving laugh, "wait, you are trying to steal Dumbledore's wand? Dumbledore's? There's no way that you can get that without him noticing."
"I've come pretty close twice already- during the scholar meetings. Dumbledore has a habit to ramble when is talking, and he does not really pay attention to his wand anymore", Aurelius replied, "but since he is probably going to kick me out after…what happened, I will have to think of something new."
There was another silence.
Eventually, Sirius swallowed, "I…I am sorry", he said quietly, "I did not mean for them to treat you like that- I was just so angry at you, for…you know, and when I found out it's all been fraud, I got even angrier- cause you made me study all the time, and…you punished me for the smallest mistakes…"
"You think I have been taking these plants to be smarter?", Aurelius sounded amused now, "Sirius, I hate to disappoint you- but the only reason I took them was to be better at Quidditch. I told you that I think Quidditch is a waste of time, I was never into sports, so I knew I would not be able to make it on the team without some…help."
Sirius groaned, "I…I thought…damn…and I told Gryffindor…oh shit…", he buried his face in his hands, "I am sorry. I am so sorry."
"Why do you think I had so many of those plants left? I just used some for the tryouts, and for the practices, and well, for the game- even though that did not go as planned as you know."
He swallowed again, harder this time, "are you…going to punish me for what I did?", he finally asked quietly, "you…you won't make me kneel on that thing again, right?"
Aurelius sighed, "punish you? I want to thank you, Sirius- what you said to my father…that was brilliant", he was smiling at him now, "I have never been brave enough to tell him how I feel- because I have always been too afraid to disappoint him."
"But…why?"
Aurelius looked at him, "it's…complicated- I mean, my father always had high expectations, and I always did what he told me- I never complained, never whined, and never talked back, so after a while, he just…assumed that I am okay with the way he treats me. I was not- but the pressure of being the oldest son and heir of Godric Gryffindor was nothing I could ever escape from. I tried, several years ago. You know, I never went to a public school, I always had private tutors, and they made me study and study and study some more- and some years ago, I was just done with it, and I resented working for hours every day. One of my tutors was even more afraid of my father than I was, and he knew he would get fired if my grades were not exceptional, so he figured out a method to put me back in line very quickly."
Sirius paled, "he…he made you kneel on a log."
"Every day", Aurelius said, staring out the window, "and the pain was…well, you know. After that, I never dared to rebel again, and I studied even harder, and my grades were always perfect- but the problem was, by then my dad had gotten so used to me being perfect at everything that if I wasn't, his disappointment was tremendous- which made me study and work even harder."
"Did…did you ever tell him about that teacher?"
Aurelius shook his head, "there was no point- and besides, I never whined, and he kept telling me how proud he was of me for being so strong, and for never whining- and that I was turning into a real man."
"That's…stupid."
Aurelius smiled, "the thing is, I know he loves me- he just does not know me anymore. He does not know that I hate to study all the time, and that he is putting too much pressure on me- and one reason why I treated you the way I did was because I was- jealous."
"Jealous? Of me?", Sirius had to laugh, "yeah right- I was freakin jealous of you- Mr. Perfect who everyone loves and worships."
"Except for you."
Sirius blushed, "cause I knew it was an act."
"Do you want to know why I was so jealous of you, Sirius?"
"Yeah, I do."
"Because you were so…carefree. You did not have to worry about the plan, and you did not carry all the pressure- you did not have to be fake all the time, you were actually able to make real friends, and you were able to be…happy."
"I wasn't happy", Sirius responded quietly, "I mean, I tried- but I wanted your approval more than anything, and you…every time we were not in public you treated me like…you hated me."
"Well, to be honest, I was mad at my father for forcing even more pressure on me by taking care of you- but I was too afraid to tell him that, so I took my anger out on you at first- and also, I was terrified of the plan failing, because I do know what's at stake- so I tried everything to make sure you would be terrified enough to not fail the plan as well."
You certainly succeeded with that", Sirius mumbled, "I was fucking terrified of you, more than I ever was of your father."
"I am sorry", Aurelius' voice had gotten low, "I just…I knew that my father is completely obsessed with the plan, and I knew he would…punish you if you don't deliver- and in a weird way, I wanted to protect you from that. I know I did not, and I know I am a horrible brother- which is why I was against this plan in the first place."
"You…are not a horrible brother- not all the time at least", Sirius said quietly, "there were…some good parts, too."
Aurelius was looking down now, obviously embarrassed, "yeah, there were- you probably won't believe this, but I did…enjoy holding you that one night- and I liked…washing your hair, and…that day when you came into the library…I liked that. I liked that a lot, even though I told you I did not later. I was…ashamed about it, and…then I heard about what happened in Potion's and I figured it was all fake because…you were afraid of Snape or whatever, so I felt…humiliated."
"I tried telling you the truth that day- but you did not listen to me", he was blushing again, not really used to talking about his feelings so much, "I…did it cause I knew…it might be the last time I get to hug you and sit on your lap- and I wanted to…just have that one more time. And I felt so lonely, and sad, and scared- and you…you were so….so freaking nice, and the things you said…", he blushed even more, "I liked that a lot, too."
The silence between them now was not as uncomfortable as the one before.
"I am sorry", Aurelius finally said, "I am sorry for messing this all up- you probably can't wait to be an adult again, right?"
"I…I don't think Gryffindor is ever going to transform me back", Sirius responded, avoiding the question.
"He will- you brought him the cloak, that's all that matters to him. He will either be back tonight or tomorrow morning, and I can assure you, if that's what you want, he'll transform you back."
If that's what you want.
"I don't know what I want", Sirius whispered, "this…is all…so confusing…and…I just…wish this would be real, so…I would have some help…figuring it out", he bit his lips, embarrassed by his confession.
"Well, it's Sunday- we are both free to stay here all day", Aurelius said after a while, "and…I can be your brother for today until my dad comes back- and I can help you figuring things out."
"Does that mean…you could do…what you did…at the…", he was too ashamed to finish his sentence, but Aurelius helped him, "yeah, we can do that", he said, sounding a little bit embarrassed, too, "come here- let's just sit on the couch for a while."
They sat down, and Aurelius carefully pulled Sirius on his lap, "hey there…baby boy", he smiled when Sirius whimpered in response, "you like that, hmm? You like when I call you baby boy?"
"Yeah…", he closed his eyes and pushed his face into Aurelius' broad chest, "just…don't stop."
And Aurelius didn't. He held him, snuggled with him, and kept telling him in a low voice what a good boy he was, and how much he cared about him, and Sirius listened quietly to every word, and after a while, he felt brave enough to carefully touch Aurelius' neatly combed hair.
"Your…hair is all curly", he eventually informed the older boy hesitantly, "I think you have to comb it again now."
Aurelius just grinned, "that's okay- I have to take a shower later anyways", he ruffled through Sirius' hair, messing it up completely, "and you, baby boy, are going to take a bath tonight."
"Hmmm…", Sirius mumbled, snuggling closer, "you gonna wash my hair again?"
"Of course", he did not have to look at the older boy to know that he was still grinning, "but before that, I am going to make us some lunch- you must be hungry."
"A little", Sirius admitted, and then Aurelius gently put him down, "I'll be right back."
Sirius watched him go into the kitchen, but instead of waiting on the couch, he trailed after him, "what are you making?", he asked hesitantly, not sure if Aurelius would mind it that he had come after him.
"Just some sandwiches", Aurelius replied, "do you like cheese on yours?"
Sirius blinked, not believing how things had changed between them within one day.
This is nice.
"Yes, please", he answered softly, and Aurelius ruffled his hair affectionately, "good boy", he gave him a kiss on his head, "can you go and set the table?"
"Yes, I can do that", he immediately answered and earned another good boy for that, which had already made it worth it.
He set the table carefully, wanting to please Aurelius more than anything now, and when his brother came back, carrying a plate with sandwiches and some jars with pumpkin juice, he stood by the table excitedly, hoping to get some more praise.
"Did I do a good job?", he blurted out nervously when Aurelius did not say anything for a second, "I tried to…"
"Shshsh…you did a great job, baby boy", he pulled him into a hug and then looked at him thoughtfully, "you have not received much praise from your family, hmm?"
Sirius shook his head, forcefully blinking back the tears, "no…just…Regulus…"
"Your brother?"
"Yeah…my younger brother. He was…always the better one, the smarter one, the more behaved one…why…why are you asking?"
"Because you are obviously very responsive to praise", Aurelius said calmly, "and Sirius- you don't have to be the perfect brother for me, I'll still love you just the same if you act out- but now you know how I feel trying to please my father, hmm?"
Sirius nodded, and then he sobbed, and next thing he knew, he was crying.
"Good thing I made sandwiches and not some food that can get cold", Aurelius mumbled, seemingly amused and picked him up, "shshsh…did you really think it just want you to be obedient all the time? We've tried that- and clearly, it was a mistake."
"No more punishments then", Sirius said, sounding quite pleased, and Aurelius chuckled, "I would not go that far- if you do something risky, or you are being extremely rude, I would still punish you."
"How?", he had to ask.
"Corner time, most likely", Aurelius responded casually, "and as your older brother, I am technically allowed to spank you, too."
Now Sirius looked nervous again, "but…you wouldn't, right?"
"No- first of all, I think that's something a father should do- and second, I don't think our relationship is strong enough to handle that right now- a spanking takes a lot of trust- on both sides."
"Your…dad spanked me", Sirius mumbled, "almost every day actually when I yelled or cursed at him."
"I know…", Aurelius' voice was soft, "and I think it was too early for that- but he wanted to show you that he cared- he held you at the end, right?"
Sirius smiled, "yeah, that was the best part", he remembered laying across Gryffindor's lap crying, and then the Founder had pulled him up, had wrapped him in a blanket and rocked him, and had told him what a good boy he was and how proud he was of him…
"I thought those were just words though- you think he really meant that?"
"Well, legally he is only allowed to spank his own children", Aurelius began carefully, "and I do think he cares about you, just in his own way."
"After I said all this stuff to him, I doubt it", Sirius sighed, "well, good thing he's not my real dad- otherwise…", he stopped abruptly, staring at Aurelius, "wait…you said legally he's only allowed to…spank his own kids? But…I am not…not his kid, so…"
"He does have guardianship over you- a side effect of the de-aging spell", Aurelius explained calmly, "since you are a child technically."
"But…when he transforms me back, that will stop, right? I mean, he only did this so I would get him the cloak, right? He does not want me, he will end this guardianship stuff as soon as possible, right?", his voice had gotten more and more agitated, and Aurelius pulled him closer, "shhhh…baby boy, you are overthinking this- again. My dad is going to talk to you later, and he'll explain everything."
"But…"
"Later, Sirius", his voice was still calm, but he did hear something else in it and he hung his head, "okay…later then", he said quietly and Aurelius kissed him on his hair, "good boy- now eat your sandwich, and then I want you to take a nap after lunch."
Sirius sat down at the table, "I am not…really tired", he said hesitantly.
"We'll see about that", Aurelius sounded amused again, "eat up, baby boy- and don't let your juice get cold."
So, he ate his sandwich and drank all of his juice, and after lunch, Aurelius led him back to the couch and made him lay down with his head on Aurelius' lap.
"Now, I will tell you a story- and you will be my good boy and listen", he gently raked through his hair, "and I would be very surprised if you were still awake by the time I am finished", he smiled at him, "close your eyes, baby boy."
He did- because he wanted to be good, and he wanted to hear the story, and he wanted Aurelius' hand in his hair.
It had started to rain, and while Aurelius was telling him the most fantastic story he had ever heard, the rain was splashing against the windows, and the wind was wailing, and he snuggled as close as he could into Aurelius' lap- and minutes later, he was fast asleep.
He awoke with Aurelius' hand still in his hair, and he blinked, "Reli…us?"
"I am here, baby boy", Aurelius responded, clearly amused, "had a good nap?"
"Hmmm…", he tried to get up and Aurelius pulled him over and placed him next to himself on the couch.
"How…long did I sleep?"
"For an hour and a half", Aurelius replied, "you were tired- maybe not physically, but mentally."
"You must be tired too, then- after all, your dad…you know."
"Caned me? Those three little strikes were not as bad as it looked."
"But it was…"
"Humiliating? Yes, that it was- but I guess I deserved that- for everything I've put you through before."
"You did not deserve that!", his voice was louder than expected, and Aurelius smiled, "you know, I figured that my dad wouldn't make it to ten before you would stop him- you have a good heart, Sirius."
"Thank…you", he did not know what else to say, his face dark red.
There was a silence, and now all they heard was the rain and the wind.
"Do you know how to play chess?", Aurelius asked suddenly, and Sirius looked at him in surprise, "I…no, I don't, actually."
"I'll teach you then", Aurelius responded casually, like it was the most normal thing in the world- and maybe it was.
They spent the next two hours playing chess, and then Aurelius made some tea and they played some more, and Sirius realized that he had never been this happy his entire life.
I don't want this day to end.
Later, they had dinner- and then Aurelius took him to the bathroom for his bath.
He let him play with the bubbles, and then he carefully washed his hair.
"I like this", Sirius mumbled, "definitely beats that cold shower."
"I know- I was so mad at you that day- and you…"
"I was rude, I know", Sirius finished, "and scared- and Salazar was so nice to me and that scared me even more."
"Because you never had a father who cared about you."
"Yeah- and…I never had a brother who cared either."
Aurelius looked him straight in the eyes, "you do now, Sirius."
And then he had to cry again, but it wasn't sad, he wasn't sad…he felt relieved- and happy.
Aurelius started to hum something, and then he gently took him out and dried him off in the fluffiest towel ever, and put him into some pajamas, and then he carried him over to the bedroom.
"You'll stay, right? You won't go?", he sounded desperate, but he did not even care anymore.
"Yes, I'll stay until you are asleep, baby boy- and I will come to bed a little later", Aurelius promised, his voice very calm and very soft, "now, you missed the ending of my story from earlier- do you want to hear it?"
"Yeah", Sirius whispered, his voice thick with tears, "I do."
So, Aurelius told him the ending of the story, and tucked him in, and gave him a goodnight kiss, "sleep tight, Sirius- I'll see you in the morning."
"But what if Gryffindor…"
"I'll be fine, Sirius", Aurelius assured him, "all I want you to do is stay here and go to sleep, baby boy…and sweet dreams."
"I…I love you, Aurelius", Sirius whispered, not caring the slightest that this was ridiculous- after one day, really?
Aurelius just smiled, and he did not seem to think that it was ridiculous, because he said: "I love you, too, baby boy."
And Sirius closed his eyes, feeling how happy he was- and shortly after, he was asleep.
Only to be woken up by some noise hours later- the bed next to him was still empty, so he slowly crept to the door, and everything inside him froze when he heard Gryffindor's voice.
He did not know what he was saying, but what he did know was that he had to save his brother- because there was no way in hell Gryffindor had not come back to finish what he had started earlier.
Without thinking, he opened the door and stormed into the living room, ready to fight.
I'll help you, Aurelius!
yeah...Sirius and Aurelius are happy now, but Tom will have to suffer for a little longer.
I'd love some feedback :)
Thank you all!
xoxo, Antonie :)