Chapter 7 – Go for Broke

Daniel jumped up out of his chair and starts looking for Vala. Every level, every office. The commissary, the infirmary, the gate room, the armory, the dressing rooms, showers. Determined to find her, he starts looking in the bunk rooms, that should be empty this time of day.

He finds her on the bottom bunk, in the back corner of the second bunk room. He can't see her, but he hears her suck in a sniffly breath trying not to breath or make a noise so he wouldn't be able to tell she was there. But he caught the sound and follows the meagre light to her. She's sitting with her arms wrapped around a pillow and her knees. A very defensive posture.

He sits on the edge of the bunk, close enough to touch her, but far enough to not seem pushy. He has to duck a little to keep his head from hitting the top bunk. "We need to talk," he says softly, looking at his hands. He didn't want to see her crying, knowing he was the cause of it.

"You've already said that" she retorted, "and I didn't particularly like the conversation."

"That's because I let it get out of hand, and I'm sorry, I shouldn't have. I had planned a much different discussion," he said.

"I have many things to apologize for and I'd appreciate it if you let me get through all of them before you say anything, OK?" he asked, glancing over at her.

Vala nodded and laid her face down on the pillow, head turned away from him.

"I'm sorry for that night at O'Malleys. Everything about that night was wrong. I was only thinking about myself, and it scared me to death when I couldn't find you. It was easier to take it out on you, than admit I had done something wrong."

"I'm sorry for not making it clear how valuable you are to my work. Your knowledge and insight make everything I do easier, and more enjoyable. I do miss you in my office. A lot. I keep turning around to say something to you or ask you a question and you aren't there."

"I'm sorry I don't tell you how much help you are to me off-world. I trust you with my life out there and feel safer when you are with me. I'm sorry I yell at you when we are working at a site. I know it's no excuse, but I get in a zone of concentration, and I get frustrated when it's broken. I'll try to do better, that's all I can promise."

"And I'm sorry for that entire yelling match we just had. I should not have said any of those things. I'm terribly jealous of whatever you might have going with Brandon. I'm also terrified of losing you off the team, because that means I'm losing you out of my life. We won't be working together anymore, off-world or on. If you move to SG7, you'll be a part of the diplomatic team, not the archeology team and I won't see you anymore or be able to work with you."

"OK, I think I'm through apologizing now." He said.

Vala was quiet, except for some sniffling.

Daniel turned to look at her for the first time. Her face was buried in the pillow, her arms still wrapped around her knees.

"Vala?" Daniel reached to touch her hand and pried it off her knees so he could hold it. "Please forgive me. Please stay on SG1, and with me."

"You do know that Brandon and I are just friends, right?" She asked, her voice muffled by the pillow.

"I believe you." He said.

"What about you and Maggie?" she asked.

"We work together on occasion, that is all. I can't be interested her, you know that, right?" He asked.

"Why can't you be?" She looked up at him finally, he eyes red, her face a bit puffy.

He squeezed her hand. "Because every bit of interest I have is concentrated right here."

"Really?" she asked, her eyes growing bigger as she looked at him.

"Really," he answered. "I've just been too scared to let you know. Not knowing how you really felt, I was pretty sure I was just amusing you and you'd get tired of me and move on to something more interesting. Which it appeared you already had. I reacted badly."

"I guess I owe you some apologies also," she admitted. "I was being petty by not letting you know I was moving. I wanted to talk to you about it because I knew you'd be excited for me, but I didn't want to give you the satisfaction. I wanted to hurt you, and I'm sorry."

"I'm also sorry for our yelling match. I wanted you mad at me, I thought it would make it easier to move on, but it just made it worse. "

"And I'm sorry for trying to move to SG7. It was a desperation move to try and get your attention; they had been getting along without me just fine. After that first mission where I was really needed, the rest of the missions were just me trying to your attention, but I knew I'd be miserable if I did move teams."

"Vala," he said "If you will have me, you know you're never getting rid of me, right?"

"I've known that about you from the beginning, darling. Why do you think I've tried so hard for years to get your attention? You are a keeper."

He tugged her hand and she unfolded, tossing the pillow aside. He stood up out of the uncomfortable crouching position on the bunk, pulling her with him. Daniel wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her into a tight hug. Vala wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders and held tight. They both stood there, breathing each other in, soothing frayed nerves and enjoying a closeness they had both craved, but had never been able to indulge in.