Chapter 5: Served with Gravy

The next morning, Doja woke up with a sense of anticipation; she had someone to share her day with for the first time in a decade. True, a dwarf would not have been her first choice, but she couldn't afford to be choosy. Also true was that Vili was an unwilling prisoner so he might not be as chatty as she would like, but at this point a warg with a toothache would be a welcome companion.

Throwing back her blankets, she sat up in her bed and looked over at where Vili lay. Or should have lain. His pallet was empty with ragged strips from the tapestry scattered around the messy pile.

"Oh, no, no, no," she whispered in alarm.

Her bare feet made no sound on the carpets as she hurried to the open gate of her cell. Silently she prayed to find the dwarf sitting out on the ledge weaving the strips of the tapestry into a mat, or blanket, or basket. Anything but the alternative.

Looking out at the ledge, her heart jumped up into her throat as she saw the end of a makeshift rope tied around one of the bars and the other end disappearing over the edge. Going to the edge, she got down on her hands and knees and peered over. Below her, suspended halfway down the smooth face of the wall was Vili.

"What are you doing?" she hissed down at him.

The dwarf started, almost losing his grip on the tapestry strips that he had braided into a rope.

Looking up, he frowned at her, "don't scare me like that! I almost fell."

"You idiot! You're going to wish you fell when Smaug catches you."

"Who are you calling an idiot? You're the one that's been here for ten years," he shot back.

"At least I'm still alive, which you won't be if you don't get your butt back up here."

"I'd rather die that live that way."

She sat up and crossed her arms across her chest, "fine. Suit yourself. I wonder what vegetables go with roasted dwarf?" Looking back down at him, she asked, "do you think you're tough?"

"Of course, I'm tough," he snapped. "I'm a dwarf.

"Then maybe Smaug will slow roast you for me."

"Wait. What?" he stopped and looked up at her. "That's disgusting."

Doja shrugged, "I eat what he brings me to eat. It's not like I have much of a choice. I think a gravy would be nice, don't you?"

"No! A gravy would not be nice!"

"Yeah, definitely a gravy," she mused.

"You're insane," he huffed and continued climbing.

"Ah, but I'm not the one about to be roasted and smothered with gravy."

"Will you shut up? Can't you see I need to concentrate?

"And potatoes. Those always go with roasted dwarf and gravy."

Below, Vili's hands slipped, and he slid several feet down the rope before he caught himself. Doja gasped and clapped her hands over her mouth to stifle the sound. She remained silent during the rest of his descent. Once his feet touched the lake of gold, he looked back up and her and gestured for her to climb down.

Doja looked around the great hall quickly and shook her head before backing away from the edge so she couldn't see him.

His quiet mumble reached her, "suit yourself."

Doja debated going back into her cell and hiding in her bed where she wouldn't be able to see or hear what happened when the dragon caught the dwarf. Instead, her curiosity got the best of her and she found herself back at the edge watching Vili try to escape.

For the life of him, Vili couldn't understand why Doja would prefer to remain the dragon's prisoner instead of escaping with him. A dwarf female would never accept that fate. She would fight tooth and nail and never quit trying. No matter what. The little halfling didn't have any fight in her, nor any self-respect.

His plan was simple: get to the armory, find a weapon, kill the dragon while it slept. Orienting himself, he saw the entrance to the armory across the hall from where he stood. The last time he had seen the beast, the dragon was buried under the gold at the end of the hall nearest the remains of Thorin's Gate. As long as he stayed well away from that end, he should be fine.

Taking a careful step away from the wall, he froze as the gold beneath his boots started sliding away, making a metallic tinkling noise that the acoustics of the vast chamber amplified. His second step added more to the sliding gold and the noise grew. Realizing that he was not going to be able to cross to the other side quietly, Vili took off at a sprint, his head down, arms and legs pumping, hoping that he was fast enough to make it to the armory before Smaug could unleash his dragon fire and end his life.

Halfway across, the dwarf allowed himself to hope he would make it. Maybe the dragon was a deeper sleeper than he had thought. All he needed was to reach the room, then he would have access to any weapons he would need to avenge his people and retake their home. Reaching the room without any sign of the dragon, Vili ducked inside and leaned against the wall to the right of the entrance while he regained his breath. This was going far easier than he had expected.

His breath close to normal, he surveyed the room.

"Rust and ruin," he breathed.

It was difficult to see what the room had been with the walls blackened and smooth as glass from dragon fire. Anything made from wood or leather - racks, shelves, scabbards, and bindings - had been reduced to fine ash. Solidified puddles of metals liquified under the heat of dragon fire littered the floor. Hardened steel and forged iron could not withstand the intensity of the fire. Gold and silver used for decoration had blended with the lesser metals and alloys. Gems studded some of the still puddles. Only mithril and platinum had survived the onslaught intact.

Vili bent and picked up a mithril blade laying nearby. It was still as straight and sharp as the day it had been crafted. With a little work, he could wrap the bare tang with strips of tapestry or other material at hand to make a useable sword, but he would have to leave the room to find it. Seeing a shirt of mithril chainmail, he hurried over to it. Unfortunately, it was stuck to the floor by melted steel that had seeped through the chain then hardened, binding the two materials together. Only fire hot enough to remelt the steel would be able to separate the two. Releasing it aside with a snort of discuss, he continued to scour the room for something useable.

"Do you like my handiwork?"

Vile froze. He had been so intent on searching the room, he hadn't heard the dragon stir.

"You've destroyed everything," he called out with an accusing tone.

"Should I have left it intact to be used by one such as you, intent upon killing me?"

"You know my answer to that."

The dragon chuckled, "did you really think you could use one of these swords to pierce my scales? Foolish dwarf. Not even your precious mithril could do that. It would be like attacking a stone wall with a pointed stick."

"They why destroy it?"

"Because it was mine to do so!" Smaug snapped. "I care not for the trinkets your people made, only the material. Gold is gold whether it is shaped into a king's crown or still a raw nugget from the source."

"So why not melt everything if that's how you feel about it? Why not turn it all into a solid block of gold?"

"Then I would not be able to burrow under it," the answer that came was both practical and ludicrous.

Vili bravely stepped into the doorway of the armory. Smaug was close enough, he could have hurled his axe and struck the creature. If he still had his axe. Stooping he picked up a large handful of gold coins and shifted them from hand to hand.

"Are you honestly telling me that you don't like the sound of these coins?"

Smaug's eyes narrowed as he watched the coins flow from hand to hand, seemingly transfixed by the motion and tinkling sound they made.

"True," he huffed, "it is a soothing sound."

Kili kept the coins moving, in turn keeping the dragon mesmerized, as he eased out of the armory. To his right was the stairs that lead down to the lower halls and living areas of the kingdom. If he could reach it, maybe there were weapons still intact in the storerooms below.

Doja had watched with alarm as Smaug rose from the lake of gold and stalked to the armory where Vili had just disappeared. She thought to call out in warning to the dwarf, but a sidelong glance from Smaug had stopped the words in her throat. It would be just her luck, she thought. Smaug brought her someone for companionship and now, after only a single night, he was going to roast Vili for trying to escape. Worse, the stubborn dwarf had not run immediately for the nearest exit; instead, he had run to the armory. What did he think he was going to do? Slay the dragon? A solitary dwarf? It was ridiculous enough to make her laugh if she wasn't so worried.

So, she was shocked when Smaug didn't incinerate Vili when he appeared in the doorway of the armory. Nor did he make any move to eat Vili when he picked up a handful of the dragon's precious treasure. Listening to their exchange, she watched at Smaug stood, transfixed by the movement and sound of the gold coins as Vili edged to the left. Realizing what he meant to do, she held her breath as he moved further from the doorway.

The dwarf was more than five feet from the door when disaster struck. While keeping a close eye on Smaug, he hadn't been watching where he was putting his feet. Doja spotted the crack in the floor just as he stepped into it and stumbled, dropping most of the coins in his hands. Scrambling to stay upright, he flung the rest of the gold at the dragon and ran towards the stairs that led down to the areas below the great hall.

Smaug snapped out of his trance and lunged after Vili, his mouth open, long teeth bared. Doja could hear the teeth snap shut as Vili disappeared from her sight.

"Oh!" she cried, covering her mouth with her hands.

She wasn't sure what she had expected, but the dragon eating the dwarf in one bite had not been it. Her shoulders slumped and she turned dejectedly to return to her lonely cell.

"Release me, you goblin fucking sack of slag!"

Spinning around to face the chamber, Doja watched in amazement as Smaug carried a struggling, cursing Vili across the chamber, the dragon's teeth firmly gripping the back of the dwarf's pants and belt. Dropping the angry dwarf back on the ledge, Smaug turned to Doja.

"Did you lose this?"

Despite herself, Doja giggled, "you scared me. I thought you ate him."

"I was tempted," Smaug huffed, "but dwarves are tough. I'd have to roast him first to tenderize him." He grinned, all his teeth bared in a way that would make most men quake, "and I don't care for gravy or potatoes."

Vili got to his feet and glared after the dragon as it dragged itself back to the cavity it had left in the gold. The foul beast had been toying with him, being aware of him even as he descended from the ledge. It could have stopped and captured him at any time but had let him think he could escape. Then it had let him see the utter destruction of the armory, yet another jab at him. Now it joked about roasting him with the halfling, and she had the gall to laugh!

Stomping past Doja, he returned to the cell and threw himself down in the first chair he came to, crossing his arms across his chest and waiting for her to follow.

She entered the cell with a smile lighting up her face like perfectly polished gemstone lit up in its setting.

"Well, now that the excitement is over for the morning, would you like some breakfast?"

He exploded up out of the chair and stood over her, "is that all you have to say about what just happened?"

She shrugged infuriatingly, "what is there to say? I tried to talk you out of it. You're lucky Smaug is so concerned about me having a companion, or you'd be in his stomach being digested right now."

Stunned, he could only watch as she went to her makeshift kitchen and start pulling out food to cook. After a few minutes of his silence, she looked up with a sigh.

"Look, Vili, I know how you feel right now. Believe me, I've been there."

Snorting, he gestured at the cell, "really? Did you even try to escape? Truly try? Because it looks to me like you've got it pretty sweet here, living off the carcass of MY HOME!" He yelled the last, not caring if he disturbed the dragon.

Doja's hands stopped what they were doing, and she looked at him with narrowed eyes that reminded him of the dragon's stare. Coming around the table, she walked past him to the back of the cell. He followed her curiously. Reaching the back wall, she pointed to all the carved lines in the wall. They filled every inch and wrapped around to the wall that her bed set against. Most were covered up with paintings and tapestries, but the newest marks were visible, their gouges in the rock jagged and sharp.

"Do you know what these are?" she asked.

He shrugged, "you're keeping track of how long you're here. What of it?"

She moved down the wall to an uncovered area that stood apart from the rest. There were a number of gouges carved into the wall, much like all the others.

"Do you want to guess what these are for?" she challenged him with her head held high.

It was his turn to shrug. "some woman thing?" he guessed.

That earned him a derisive snort. "There are the number of times I've tried to escape, you imbecile."

Vili stepped closer, ignoring her insult. There were a good many marked on the wall, over 100 at least.

"One hundred and fifty-eight," she told him. "In case you're wondering. Sixteen in the first month alone," she continued. "This one," she touched the last mark with a finger, "was just five months ago."

Turning to face him, she held up a hand and ticked off fingers as she spoke, "the armory, check, the undercity, check, through the mines, check, through the forges, check, climbing up to that opening," she pointed up to the hole high above them, "check. That one earned me a broken leg and two cracked ribs. I was lucky I lived."

Stalking past him, back to the kitchen area, she continued, "anyway, what I'm saying is that, if there is a way, I've tried it. More than once." She paused before starting her meal preparations once more, "except the hole. Once was more than enough."

Vili followed her into the kitchen and dropped into one of the chairs.

"Maybe I've misjudged you."