"Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends"
-The Beatles
December 24, 1972
James Potter's house was… huge. Grimmauld Place was also huge but it was so dark and dingy that it felt claustrophobic. Potter Manor was sprawling, with large floor to ceiling windows facing their back yard. The inside was bright, warm, and very reminiscent of the Gryffindor common room. Carina had originally thought that the manor was too big for the small family of three, but with the addition of herself and Sirius, the house felt full.
The three of them were sitting on the floor of James' bedroom, sharing stories from their childhoods. James was recounting a time when he and his father, Fleamont, pranked his mother by putting green hair dye in her Sleekeazy's Hair Potion when the very woman in question knocked on his door.
"Hot chocolate, dears?" Three steaming mugs came levitating into the room behind her and with a flick of her wand, they floated down in front of each of them.
"Thank you, Mrs. Potter." Carina reached out and grabbed the mug.
"I've told you to call me Euphemia, please." She smiled, kindly.
Carina felt uncomfortable under her gaze. "Okay…" She looked down.
"Thanks, mum" James said as he wiped away his whipped cream mustache. Euphemia left the room and closed the door on her way out.
Carina stayed looking at the door, half expecting her to come bursting back in and knock the mugs out of their hands, calling them ungrateful all the while.
But nothing happened.
She looked back over at James. "Your mum is so nice."
James smiled fondly. "Yeah, she's pretty great."
She took a big sip of hot chocolate and oh my god it was the best hot chocolate she'd ever had in her entire life. What did Euphemia put in this, magic?
Probably yes.
As she took another long drink, she couldn't help but think of Remus. Again. He was kind and funny and smart and definitely hiding something. Her eyes shifted between James and Sirius, both of whom were drinking happily. She slowly lowered her mug.
"Remus has been sick two more times this year." The words tumbled out of her mouth. The two boys frowned.
"I noticed that…" James' brow was furrowed as he ran his finger around the rim of his mug.
Sirius sighed. "There's gotta be something more going on."
"And he's lying about it." That's the part that bothered her the most. Carina could tolerate a lot of things, but lying was not one of them.
"I know." James frowned. "There's no way he'd go into the forest alone."
"And how did he not get detention for that?" Sirius put his mug down and crossed his arms in front of his chest.
James leaned forward as if he didn't want anyone else to overhear, even though they were the only three in the room. "I say, once we get back to Hogwarts, we do research. If Remus won't tell us what's wrong, then we'll figure it out ourselves."
Sirius and Carina nodded in agreement.
The three of them spent the rest of the holiday running through the halls of the manor, drinking their weight in hot chocolate, and having snowball fights outside.
Suffice to say, it was the best holiday the two Black siblings had in their lives.
January 21, 1973
"Hey, Remus!" Carina was walking down the third-floor corridor toward the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, stressing about the homework she had to turn in for that class the next day, when she saw a glimpse of sandy-blond hair at the end of the hall. She knew Defense was Remus' best subject and she was hoping that he'd be willing to help her.
He turned at the sound of her voice, a smile already on his face. "Hey, Cari! What's up?"
She cleared her throat. "I was just wondering if I could get your help on my Defense homework? I'm really struggling and I know it's your best subject."
Remus tilted his head to the side. "How did you know that?"
"Sirius." She chuckled.
He rolled his eyes. "Of course. Well yeah, I can help you."
"Great!" She beamed. "A few of us study in the library after last period. Do you want to join us? Before dinner."
"Okay. See you there." He turned to go back down the hall.
"You're a lifesaver!" She called after him. "Thank you."
He waved in acknowledgement. Feeling relieved, she turned back and headed into the Defense classroom.
February 18, 1973
As it turns out, Remus Lupin was an excellent addition to their study group. While Dorcas and Lily were excellent at Charms and Potions, respectively, Remus was able to fill in the blanks with Defense Against the Dark Arts.
Carina, for one, never felt better about her school work.
Currently, the four of them had taken up residence at one of the tables by the window in the library. Carina was finishing up her Potions essay - a subject she had taken quite a liking to - when out of the corner of her eye, she caught Remus looking up at the ever darkening sky for the fifth time in the last half an hour. He let out a long sigh and closed his book.
"Hey, I've got to go." He said, not looking up at any of them as he packed his books into his bag. "Madam Pomfrey asked for my help with something."
"Oh," Carina eyed him suspiciously, "is everything okay?"
He looked around only to find three pairs of concerned eyes looking back up at him. "Yeah, everything's fine. I just...uh," he shuffled his feet, "I'll see you guys tomorrow."
Before anyone else could ask any more questions, Remus was gone. Lily and Dorcas exchanged a look before looking back down at their homework. Carina went to do the same when she heard someone whisper her name.
"Psst, Cari!"
She spun around and saw Sirius peeking out from behind one of the many bookshelves. He gestured for her to come talk to him. She turned back to see Lily rolling her eyes and Dorcas snickering to herself. Carina excused herself from the table.
"What's going on?" She asked once she was close enough.
"James figured something out." He said, sounding excited. "Come with me."
Carina went back to the table, bid a hasty goodbye to Lily and Dorcas while throwing her books in her bag, and followed Sirius up to Gryffindor tower. Once inside, he led her up to the boy's dormitory where they found James pacing the length of the room and Peter watching him from – what Carina assumed – the foot of his bed.
James looked up. "Cari, good you're here. I think I know what's going on with Remus."
Her eyes went wide. "You do?"
"Yeah." He nervously ran his hand through his hair. "But it's mental."
Sirius let out an exasperated sigh. "Merlin, mate, could you be any more dramatic?"
Peter nodded, eyebrows furrowed. "Yeah, just tell us."
James stopped pacing. He looked around at each of them before taking a deep breath.
"I think he's a werewolf."
Everyone froze and looked at James with wide, disbelieving eyes. Carina was sure that no one was even breathing as his words sunk in. That couldn't be true. There's no way that Remus was a werewolf. Right?
Carina was the first one to speak. "Come on, James, serious answers only."
"I am being serious."
Peter cleared his throat. "W-why do you think that?"
James huffed, indignantly. "Think about it. He disappears every month. During the full moon. He gets really weak and sick leading up to and after. He keeps getting hurt by 'animals' and… those scars on his face and neck? What else could do that?"
As James was talking, Carina realized he was making sense. She would be lying if she said she hadn't noticed a pattern to Remus taking ill. But she still couldn't wrap her mind around the sweet, caring Remus being a werewolf. Her whole life she'd be told that werewolves were horrible, savage monsters. But there was no world where those words would ever describe Remus Lupin.
Sirius was shaking his head, more to himself than to anyone else. "Do you really think Dumbledore would have let a werewolf into Hogwarts?"
Carina's head whipped around to look at her brother, suddenly knowing what her stance was. "But he's never hurt anybody."
"Carina…"
"Think about it!" She started pacing, unable to stand still. "There have been no reports of any sort of attacks. And he's never hurt any of you. You've been sharing a dorm for over a year. If he was dangerous, you three would be the first to know."
James nodded. "You're right."
"He'd never hurt anyone." Sirius wore a look of hard determination. "I mean… it's Remus."
"Should we talk to him about this?" Peter asked.
"He should know that we know." James said, no question in his voice. "Then he won't have to keep it a secret anymore."
Sirius stepped closer to James. "And he'll know that we're not going anywhere. I don't care what he is."
"I don't either." Carina said.
Peter stood. "Me either."
"Agreed." James said. "Let's talk to him tomorrow."
The four of them stood in a circle, looking at each other in silence. Carina let the reality of the situation wash over her. She thought back to when they saw him in the hospital wing, his shoulder slashed and bloody. But instead of looking like he was in pain, he looked ashamed and afraid. Merlin, he must have been terrified that they'd discovered his secret. Carina's heart broke for him. Looking at the boy's faces, she knew they all felt the same way.
Lost in thought, she chewed on her bottom lip and moved over to the window that looked out over the grounds. She could just see a few swinging branches of the Whomping Willow around the edge of the castle that blocked her view of the rest of the violent tree. Her eyes weren't really focused on anything when she caught movement coming from the front entrance of the castle.
"Is that Remus?" His sandy-blond hair was unmistakable, even from this distance. The boys rushed to the window and the four of them watched as he, along with Madam Pomfrey, walked across the grounds and around the corner of the castle. They saw the branches of the Whomping Willow stop moving for a few minutes before starting back up again. A few moments later, Madam Pomfrey reemerged and walked back into the castle.
"Is Remus in the Whomping Willow?" Peter asked, incredulously.
"Don't be ridiculous, Pete." Sirius said. "There's a tunnel at the other side of the Willow. I've always wondered what it went to."
"I guess we know who to ask now." Carina said, eyes still glued to the swinging branches. She heard each of the boys make various noises of agreement as they finally moved away from the window.
February 19, 1973
None of them were able to sleep well that night. Carina ended up staying the night in the boy's dormitory, not wanting to be alone in her room. They all pulled their pillows and blankets down from their beds, Carina pulling from Remus', and lying in a pile on the floor, only dozing off occasionally.
At one point in the night, Carina woke up to find her head on Sirius' shoulder, Peter's head on her arm – which was numb – and James lying across both her and Sirius with his head in her lap. She groggily came to the conclusion that boys move a lot in their sleep before snuggling back down and falling asleep again.
In the morning, they all stretched their stiff limbs and made their way down to the hospital wing where they found Remus sleeping soundly, thankfully free of any new visible wounds. They surrounded his bed with Peter and Carina on one side and James and Sirius on the other, and they sat and waited for him to wake up.
Carina hesitated before reaching out and taking one of Remus' hands in both of hers as a silent gesture that she was here to stay. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw James do the same with his other hand.
After a few minutes, Remus stirred awake, slowly opening his eyes and letting them adjust to the light.
"Hey, rise and shine, sleepyhead." Sirius said, softly.
"Wha-?" Remus' eyes opened wide, looking around at them with a furrowed brow. "What are you all doing here?"
He moved to sit up. James and Carina let go of his hands so he could get comfortable before quickly recapturing his hands. Remus looked between the two of them as if they had grown a second head.
"We just came to check on you." James said. "And to talk."
"Talk?" Remus' voice wavered nervously. "What about?"
Carina figured they shouldn't beat around the bush. "Remus, we know."
She could tell that he was trying to mask his panic. "Know? What do you know?"
Sirius sat forward. "We know that you're a werewolf, Remus."
His breathing was erratic. His eyes were wide as he looked around at all of them. "What? That's ridiculous. Y-you don't know w-what you're talking about." He tried to pull his hand away but Carina held onto him tighter.
"We do." She said, calmly. "And it's okay, Remus, we don't care."
"We're here for you." James said. "Just because we know your secret, doesn't mean we see you any differently."
Remus looked at him incredulously. "But I could hurt all of you."
Sirius shrugged. "If you wanted to, you would've by now."
Remus shut his eyes tight and furiously shook his head. "It's not a matter of wanting to!" His eyes flew open, looking at all of them as if he was trying to make them understand. "I can't control it. If any of you got too close to me…" He stopped short, not able to utter the words.
"Yeah," Carina said, voice full of compassion, "on one night out of the month. The rest of the time… you're our friend. That's it."
His mossy green eyes filled with tears. "You guys really don't care?"
Peter shook his head. "Not even a little bit, mate."
Carina wasn't sure who moved first, but as soon as the first of Remus' tears fell, the four of them were piled on top of him in a group hug. He held onto them as if they were going to disappear at any moment. His sobs were wracking his body and they held him for several minutes until he finally calmed down.
They all continued to lay there even after Remus stilled. It wasn't until he said: "Hey guys, I can't breathe." That they finally got down from his hospital bed.
Madam Pomfrey decided that Remus was well enough to go back to his dorm to rest for the day. Not wanting to leave him alone, the group decided to skip their classes and hang out in the boy's room. James used his invisibility cloak - which Carina was very surprised to learn about - to sneak into the kitchens and bring back snacks.
The day ended with several rounds of Exploding Snap, laughter, and a strengthened friendship bond that felt like it would last a lifetime.
April 25, 1973
It was unseasonably cold for the last Quidditch game of the year. But it was the Gryffindor vs. Slytherin match and James and Sirius would've killed Carina if she didn't show up to support them.
James was very quickly turning into quite the Quidditch prodigy, considering this was his first year on the team. Sirius wasn't far behind in terms of skill, but Carina already knew that. She wasn't shocked in the least when he tried out for the team at the beginning of the year, and even less shocked when he made Beater. Quidditch was one of the only things their parents let him do at home that he actually enjoyed.
So, here Carina stood, in the Quidditch stands, freezing cold, cheering at the top of her lungs as she watched James steal the Quaffle from one of the Slytherin Chasers and fly at top speed in the opposite direction.
"Gryffindor Chaser, James Potter, has the Quaffle," she heard Peter commentating from the announcer's booth, "and he scores! Another 10 points to Gryffindor! Gryffindor leads Slytherin 40 to 20."
"Woohoo! Go James!" Carina cheered.
Dorcas leaned over from Carina's left. "Do you think you're gonna try out for the team next year?"
Carina looked over at her, shaking her head. "Oh no, I've never been interested in playing. Plus, my mum never let me play."
"Wait, why not?" Remus asked from her other side.
"She's always said Quidditch isn't for girls." She said, quickly realizing how silly it sounded as she watched Marlene McKinnon circle the pitch, searching for the Snitch. "But it's okay. I don't mind just watching." She added quickly.
"That's ridiculous." Dorcas said, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "You can do anything those boys can do."
"I dunno." Carina shook her head, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. "I'd much rather have my feet planted firmly on the ground. Plus, I'm not very interested in getting hit by a Bludger."
It was true, while her mother never allowed her to join her brothers in their backyard Quidditch matches, Carina never really minded. When she was 7, Sirius snuck her onto his training broom while Regulus distracted their parents. They didn't get more than five meters off the ground before she panicked and started crying. Sirius got punished for hours that night.
"Yeah, I don't know how Sirius can be a Beater." Remus said, eyes trained up on the match.
"James and Sirius just want the glory of being Quidditch stars." Dorcas said, rolling her eyes.
Carina watched as James flew around the pitch, running his hand through his hair with a crooked smile on his face. "James for sure."
"Slytherin Beater, Mulciber, hits a Bludger directly at Gryffindor Beater, Black!" Peter's voice came through the cheering crowd. Carina snapped her head up to her brother, who had his back turned to the rapidly approaching Bludger.
As if in slow motion, Sirius heard the screams of the Gryffindors in the crowd, spun around, and deflected the Bludger into the middle goal post.
Carina let out the breath she didn't know she was holding. "Yeah, I definitely don't want to be a Quidditch player."
June 12, 1973
Carina stood on the Hogsmeade train platform with James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, waiting for the train to arrive. Through the noise of the crowd of other students excitedly talking about going home, she couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of dread. As she watched the Hogwarts Express slowly grind to a halt in front of them, the pit in her stomach grew.
"Another year down, eh mates?" James said, patting Sirius on the back. Sirius nodded.
"It was a good year."
Peter was looking at the train in anticipation. "I'm excited to go home though." Carina looked down at her feet.
Home. She wasn't really sure what that meant anymore. When she'd gone to The Potter's for Christmas, she felt warmth, love, and happiness. But now, when she thinks of going back home - to Grimmauld Place - she knows all that's waiting for her there would be the cold and distant treatment from her father and the unpredictability of her mother. Maybe she could get away with staying in her room all summer…
"Are you excited to go home?" She heard Remus ask. She looked up to see that he had ducked his head low, trying to make eye contact with her.
She hesitated. "I guess so."
He furrowed his brows with concern. "What's the matter?"
Carina swallowed before giving him a small smile. "I'll just miss you lot, is all. I'm really glad you guys are my friends."
James rolled his eyes and groaned dramatically. "Oh God, don't get all mushy on us."
"I'm not!" She playfully narrowed her eyes at him. Then she smiled and rocked back on her heels. "It's just the truth."
The crowd in front of them started moving forward to board the train and the five of them began walking forward. Carina quickly linked her arms with James and Remus.
"Do you all promise you'll write this summer?" Maybe give me something to look forward to. She mentally added.
Remus smiled. "Of course."
"Absolutely." James nodded.
Peter shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'm not much of a writer but I'll try."
"Oi!" Sirius exclaimed, throwing an arm around Peter's shoulders. "Don't leave me out of this."
James rolled his eyes again. "Wouldn't dream of it."
Suddenly, Carina knew that no matter what happened at their house this summer, by next term her friends would be waiting for her and Sirius, ready to welcome them back with open arms.
Maybe that's what home really was.
A/N: Haha... remember when I said I'd post updates every week? Well, here's two and a half months later... sorry about that! I had a lot going on what with the holidays, starting a new job, and a few other writing projects that had Carina on the back burner. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, wrapping up Carina's first year. I'll do my best to get the next chapter done sooner than this one. Happy New Year, all :)