JJ made her way down the sidewalk to the parking lot, looking up towards her car as she approached it, quickly unlocking the doors and getting inside. She sat still for a moment, embracing the cold surrounding her. It wasn't quite freezing yet, but the temperatures had been dropping over the last few days and she hated it- she wasn't one for the cold. That meant the soccer season was ending, she would have to wear warmer clothes, she hated it. Her mother tried to convince her to go to school on the coast, but she knew that would be too hot. She liked to fall a little bit too much to do that, she enjoyed watching the leaves fall from the trees as they changed colors.

That's how she ended up at Quantico University, a not-so prestigious school, but good enough for her to achieve the education she wanted while being surrounded by a good environment. She never expected for college to be a time of such discovery.

In her freshman year, she fell for Will as he was in her Intro to Connection and Media class, a lazy boy who sat in the back of the room, barely paying attention to anyone except the blonde. He was constantly staring at her, sending a wink in her direction whenever they made eye contact. He was the first person who actually spoke to her except for her first and second year roommate, Ashley Seaver. She hadn't seen her since she moved out. He was sweet at first, asking her out on dates, respecting her space. As they bonded, she learned more things about him that should have been red flags, but she ignored them per usual.

She finally said yes one night and they went out to dinner where he was a genuine sweetheart, opening doors and paying for their meals. He held her hand on the table, not afraid to show his affection for her. They discussed their future and what they wanted to do- careers, where they wanted to live, their shared love for Denver. She learned where he came from- New Orleans which caused his alluring accent. (It certainly didn't stay alluring.)

After a few weeks of dating, another side came out. He drank in front of her for the first time, revealing that he was an angry drunk. She left his dorm that night with bruises covering her arms, her back, her thighs. She hid it well from everyone, although there weren't many to hide it from. She didn't have friends. On the field, she opted for long sleeves under her jersey and her shorts were long enough to cover anything. She decided to continue being with him, assuming it was a one-time thing. He was so sweet whenever he wasn't drunk- even if sometimes he made her feel guilty enough to hook up with him, even when she said no.

Nobody knew about her situation for years and she let it continue to get worse- it became a nightly thing, but he became better at hitting her in hidden places. Then, last year, she met Elle who quickly realized what was going on and the two of them opted to move off campus. It helped just slightly as JJ had less time to see him. It didn't stop it completely though, and there were a couple times that JJ would come home with bleeding arms that Elle would help wrap up.

The night of the party was finally JJ's breaking point. Seeing that someone genuinely cared enough to stop Will from doing what he was caused JJ to meltdown. It was such a simple gesture and yet, it was unrecognizable. She wanted to run out after Emily and pull her into a hug, telling her immediately that they had to be friends and she was so sorry for any drama in the past- but then she heard Emily essentially calling her a victim, and quickly grew angry. She went home that night and vented to Elle, who reprimanded her behavior. In a way, JJ did feel guilty. She didn't mean to hit Emily, and meant to apologize, but being called a victim brought out another side in her.

Going to college was meant to bring her away from her childhood, and in a way, hearing someone say that about her brought it back. Her sister, Roslyn, had killed herself when she was really young. Her entire teen years were consumed by teachers pitying the girl, taking it easier on her, and she hated it. She obviously loved her sister, but didn't want to be affected by it everywhere in her life. High School was supposed to be a time where she learned about herself, met her highschool sweetheart, but she was unable to when everyone was constantly giving her looks and making sure she was OK.

After Emily ran after her to make sure she was OK after her outbreak in the diner, it made her realize Emily really did care. She wasn't just taking pity on her- she wanted to make sure she was OK, so when JJ kissed her, she wasn't necessarily upset by it. She wasn't thrilled to have it be so public- kudos to growing up in a secluded small town- which caused her hateful statement, but then when they hooked up the night before.. Emily looked at her in a way she never thought was possible.

She was definitely discovering things she never imagined she would during her time at the college within just 4 years. She was about to graduate, was no longer with the boy she thought she was going to marry (in fact, the boy her mother thought she was going to. She adored Will, although she was unaware of what was happening- which caused a bit of resentment from JJ that wasn't her mother's fault even slightly.) and was now infatuated with an emo girl named Emily Prentiss…

She clicked her seatbelt on, turning the car on and pulling the car out of the parking lot, driving aimlessly. Driving was one of her favorite things in the entire world. It was mindless, required instincts more than genuine thought, allowed her to just focus on the world around her. She would turn the music on to a blaring volume, singing her heart out or letting tears pour down her face. In this moment, it was Taylor Swift's "Untouchable" moment, letting it play out as loud as possible.

As the chorus began, she cried out uncontrollably, letting the music control her more than anything. She wasn't sure why she was crying, maybe it was all of the change occurring in her life. She lost Elle and wasn't sure how to get her back, she… wasn't sure what was occurring with Emily, all she knew was that their night together was the best she ever had. Swallowing her words, she turned the music down for a moment, raising a hand to wipe her tears away. She needed to talk to Emily, and she needed to do it now. She glanced over at the phone residing in her seat, picking it up and dialing the girl's number. She didn't remember memorizing it.

"'Ello? Jayje?" Emily's voice popped out from the other end, instantly causing a smile to break out on the blonde's face. She had to fight it and stayed quiet for a moment, biting down on her lower lip. "Helllloooo? Was this a buttdial?" She heard the brunette laugh immaturely, and shook her head.

"Listen, I just… we didn't get a chance to talk this morning. I know that's my fault, I cut you off, but I am predicting how this is going to go. "Hey Jayje, you're a fucking bitch, last night was a mistake, and I want absolutely nothing to do with you." "Oh, I was going to tell you that last night meant more to me than you'll ever know and I actually think I might like you." "Oh, sorry, I don't care." She rambled, barely hearing herself as she spoke. Eventually she paused, waiting for Emily's response.

"Why were you such a bitch?" Emily said softly, JJ unable to read her tone through the phone. The blonde sighed softly, looking ahead at the road in front of her.

"I just… I was jealous. I remember watching you dance in the hallway with Spence, laugh your head off, ace your classes with ease, you were constantly smiling, you were happy. You were perfect in every way, and I just.. I wanted it so bad. I thought I was jealous of you, but I think I was jealous of everyone around you." She froze for a moment, unsure of why she added that last part. She hadn't even realized she felt that way until she said it, and was internally panicking as she awaited Emily's response. This is where the rejection would occur and she was terrified of it.

The brunette sat frozen, shocked by JJ's pure intimate tone. No one had ever said such a thing to her, she wasn't even as affected by Elle's proclamation of love. "Jayje.." she said softly, blinking her eyes to fight the tears that were begging to fall. "You were watching me?" She teased jokingly, laughing slightly. The blonde blushed heavily, pausing as she pulled over to the side of the road. She knew she couldn't continue driving if they were going to speak so deeply. "Last night… You are so beautiful, JJ. I wish I could just say I hate you and we could just move on, it would be easier, but unfortunately for the both of us- I have too many feelings for that. I was always jealous of you too, you know that? I thought you were happy with Will, you had the most beautiful smile and I wanted to be the one causing it." She said softly, laying back in her own bed.

Jennifer sobbed out, immediately embarrassed at her behavior but she couldn't fight it. "You don't hate me?"

"I don't hate you even a little, Jennifer Jareau."

"Well," JJ laughed softly, "That's damn good because I don't hate you even a little either, Emily Prentiss. Can I come over?"

--

A soft knock sounded on Emily's dorm door, which she instantly glided over to, throwing it open. The opened door revealed the blonde, who stared at Emily with wide green eyes. The brunette grinned widely, holding the door open, allowing JJ to slide inside underneath her arm. Emily shut and locked the door behind them, watching carefully as JJ looked around the room with a smug smile.

"Just a few days I never imagined I would be standing in here without wanting to kill you," she nudged the girl slightly, showcasing that she was just teasing. "I was so jealous." She said softly. "You looked so beautiful in the blanket, and then Elle came out and all my feelings just flooded out, I guess. Then you were a fucking tease," the blonde winked at her. "I had to go home after that, if you catch my meaning."

Emily grinned, sitting behind her on her own bed, patting the space next to her. Instead of placing herself on the bed, JJ just looked at her. "Come sit down, seriously." The blonde bit her lip before sitting next to Emily, ever so slightly leaning into her touch.

The brunette looked down at the blonde, raising her hand and pushing a hair out of her face. "That's exactly what I wanted to happen when I did that. I wanted to make you feel things, because if you acknowledged you were attracted to women, maybe just maybe…" She shrugged. "I can't believe you and Derek realized you were bi at the same exact time." The blonde froze for a moment at the label: bi. Was she bi? A lesbian? Did she ever feel true attraction to men? She had never gotten anything.

"I'm not." She looked at Emily, pursing her lips. "I'm a lesbian."

Emily laughed out loud, raising her hand for a high five. "Hey, no shit, me too!" She joked slightly, causing JJ to roll her eyes with a slight smile. She looped an arm around JJ, pulling her close into her.

"I just… I'm not ready to tell anyone yet, okay? You didn't… well," she grimaced. "I guess everyone in the group probably knows because of what happened this morning with Elle. We have to talk to her about it, she has the right to know what happened and why, when she's ready at least…" The blonde nuzzled her head into the crook of Emily's neck, noting the way Emily tensed slightly at the mention of Elle. "It's gonna be okay, Emmy." She murmured slightly, already closing her eyes, Emily's smell intoxicating her.

The brunette flushed all over at the mention of the nickname, remembering its use from the night before. "Emmy, hmmm?" She grinned, poking the cheek of the other girl. "Anyway, wanna drink? I'm bored, we can talk about things that we haven't gotten the chance to." The blonde shifted from her position, nodding. She knew they needed to truly get to know one another, despite already knowing everything about one another's bodies. Emily rose from the bed, grabbing a couple cans of beer from the mini fridge in their dorm. She brought them back, giving one to her guest.

--

The night flew by, filled with drunken laughter, kisses, and stories. Emily told her about her trips and her experiences in different countries, JJ told her all about growing up on a farm in a small town, all lighthearted until night approached. The dimming of the sky darkened their conversation as JJ casually mentioned her dead sister, which caused Emily to stop in her tracks. "What?" She said softly, looking at JJ.

The blonde froze, realizing where she had messed up. Nobody knew about Ros here, she had avoided it. She didn't want any of her friends to ever feel bad for her. "Uh…. when I was young, I think I was like… 13, one time I… I got home from school, and was looking for Ros, my sister, and nobody answered so I went to her room and I uh… I found her." She looked over at the brunette who was watching her curiously. She didn't seem to pity her. It was obvious she felt bad, but she didn't want to discourage JJ from talking. "I didn't even know she was depressed." She said softly.

Emily wrapped an arm around JJ again, placing a soft kiss on her temple. "Do you want to keep talking about ir, or do you want to change the subject?" The blonde hesitated for a moment, unsure of her own answer. It was nice having someone know about it, but she wasn't sure she wanted to continue. It felt silly to keep dwelling over, it happened 9 years ago.

"I'm alright, we can… change the subject, please?" She said softly, looking up at Emily from her laned over position.

The brunette nodded softly. "I was 15 the first time I had sex with a man, his name was Ian, and he was… he wasn't a good guy. I got pregnant, and I spiraled. I knew I had to get an abortion, but my pastor threatened banishing me from the church. I did it anyway," she said softly. "Ian was so angry, and so was my mom. The only person who didn't hate me for it was my best friend, Matthew. He died last year. He was like a brother to me." She shared, unsure of why. She knew it was because she didn't want JJ to be scared off by telling her something so private, but just like the blonde, she had never told anyone of that event.

JJ raised her hand to the back of Emily's neck, pulling her in for a hesitant, soft kiss. She knew Emily was like her, she didn't want pity. She just wanted someone to listen to and comfort her. She knew what religious environments felt like, how hostile they were, and she wanted Emily to know she understood.

The two kissed for a moment, before Emily pulled away, allowing her forehead to rest on the blonde's. "I've never told anyone that."

"I've never told anyone mine either." JJ said softly, leaning forward to connect their hands.

The two sat in silence for a moment, consuming each other's senses. Their racing hearts, their sweaty palms, their shaky breath. Emily finally spoke, and spoke softly. "I guess that makes you pretty special, huh?"