Spencer slowly opened the door to his and Emily's dorm room, noting the dimmed lights. After a long day with Derek, he was exhausted. Derek taught him how to toss a ball around, and surprisingly, Spencer excelled at it. He was good at most things he did, until he came to sports or anything of that variety. He wasn't athletic, not even slightly. Every time he caught the ball, Derek would run over and plant a kiss on his lips, unable to stop himself from touching Spencer in even just the smallest one. Spencer, however, ignored the fact that when someone had entered the field Derek wouldn't do that. He decided to ignore it.

Other than that, they went out to lunch, then went back to Derek's room and made out quite a bit more. It was nice getting to genuinely know the boy and have someone he could talk to without even a little bit of judgement in his voice. He could talk about his childhood, his mother, his friends, his experiences of not coming out, and more.

It was returned- Derek felt comfortable speaking about whatever he wanted to and it was nice, being with someone who wasn't afraid to tell him things. Spencer sighed softly, closing the door behind him and leaning against it for a moment. Even though he knew Emily and him were okay again, a small part of him was dreading the conversation. He knew he would hear about her and JJ, and while Emily was his best friend, he was on Elle's side. Elle was absolutely devastated, and it was tiring being dragged between the two sides.

He slid off his shoes, entering the bathroom before going into the main room. He looked at himself in the mirror, smiling slightly at his slightly ruffled hair that he hadn't done in a couple days. He sighed softly, remembering the way Derek's tough hands slid through it so softly, playing with the tips of it between his fingers. Closing his eyes, he remembered all of it. The way he felt so soft sleeping with his boyfriend, so content as he slept through the night.

He turned on the shower, stripping himself of his clothes. He let his pants fall to his ankles, carefully stepping out of them and climbing into the shower. He let the cold water run over him as he waited for it to become warmer. Unlike most people, Spencer genuinely enjoyed cold showers. It was a good shock when he needed to become stimulated in another way if overstimulated, it was good for his skin, it was nice. However, tonight was a hot shower night.

As it warmed to a proper temperature, Spencer turned and poured soap into his hair, lathering it between his fingers. He let it rest for a moment as he leaned against the shower wall, deep in thought. What was he supposed to say to Emily? "Hey, I'm kind of a hypocrite. I was against you dating Elle so quickly, but here I am, doing that with Derek." What was he doing? How did he think this was going to work? He was under an illusion.

Groaning softly, he turned his head back to the water to let the soap fall out of it, biting his lip as tears began to form in his eyes. If Emily, one of the sweetest people he knew, would so easily cheat on Elle, also one of the sweetest, what was stopping Derek? Spencer wasn't exactly his type in the past. He was a skinny, intelligent, socially awkward, lanky, mature person. Above all, he was a guy. Perhaps it was just an experiment? Perhaps he had been wrong to think that Derek would ever like him over the girls at their school? He ran his fingers through his hair, getting the remainder out before leaning his head forward so only his neck was exposed to the water as he leaned on the wall. He didn't want Derek to cheat on him.

He laughed softly, of course nobody wanted anyone to cheat on them, but he wasn't sure how he would handle it. The first boy he genuinely liked, the first boy he genuinely trusted, if he broke his heart it would be over. Spencer wasn't sure he would ever recover. Not that he was in love with him quite yet, but he could see himself being so at some point in the future. If anything terrified him, it was that.

He applied a round of conditioner in his hair, quickly washing it out instead of taking his sweet time as before. He let the sweet smell of their conditioner fill his nostrils, sighing constantly. Since Emily's mother was so wealthy, they didn't have to stress about cheap soap. They were able to buy the best of the best, whatever they wanted. He shook his head softly to rinse the rest of the soap out, turning to grab a loofah and body soap.

He hesitated slightly as the loofah slid all over his body, massaging the soap into his skin. He let it travel everywhere, pausing as it reached his thighs. He remembered the way he felt after Derek's speech to Elle, the way he felt when Derek was holding his thigh in the diner, and a soft groan escaped his lips. He had to stop while he was ahead of himself. He dropped the loofah back on the hook, instantly turning the water cold so it spread all over his body. He wasn't trying to deal with something such as that right now.

He let goosebumps break out all over his body as his teeth began to chatter from the icy cold water, eventually shutting it off and climbing out hesitantly. He dried himself with a towel, putting on his previous outfit back on instead of bothering to go get a new one. He shut the light off as he exited the bathroom, walking into the main room.

He stopped as he noticed his best friend and JJ cuddled together in bed, both sleeping peacefully. Emily's eyes were fluttering softly in her sleep rather than squeezed tightly per usual, JJ's arms wrapped tightly around the waist of the brunette. Spencer smiled softly at the sight, taking a seat on his bed across from them. Spencer had seen Emily with Elle, and while they were indeed happy, it wasn't the way Emily looked now.

Both Emily and JJ looked absolutely beautiful. Emily's hand was resting carefully on JJ's hip, free of any rings or bracelets. She was wearing simple pajamas, her face free of makeup. JJ had her face snuggled into Emily's neck, but Spencer could tell she also wasn't wearing makeup. They weren't afraid to be completely natural around eachother- Emily had felt that way with Elle and Spence, but seeing JJ able to do so was alarming. Emily calmed her.

He laid back in his bed, staring at the ceiling. While he didn't support how they got together, or necessarily what they were doing, he knew they were happy together and that was enough for him- all he wanted was for his best friend to be happy, and he knew all of his friends would feel the same way. Eventually. He closed his eyes and let himself fall asleep, done thinking so heavily about the events of the day.

--

Emily's eyes fluttered open, taking in the scene in front of her. Her best friend was back in his bed, his mouth wide open, drool pooling in the corner of his lips. She smiled softly, happy that maybe she could repair her relationship with him so things would go back to normal. She glanced down to notice the blonde clinging onto her for dear life and grinned, planting a kiss on the temple of JJ. It took a moment, but eventually JJ woke up from the action, peering up at the brunette with green eyes. She buried her face back in her neck, fighting a returned smile. "Hey, emmy." She said softly against Emily's skin, placing a soft kiss.

The brunette nuzzled her chin into the top of JJ's head, breathing in the smell of JJ's natural hair. It was her new favorite scent. "Hi, baby." The pet name slipped out, and she instantly bit her tongue, fearful of JJ's reaction. Instead, the blonde smiled again. The brunette relaxed, reaching her hand up to play with JJ's hand, folding their fingers together.

"This is kind of weird, isn't it?" JJ giggled softly, whispering, making sure to prevent Spencer from waking up.

"What do you mean?" Emily slowly pulled her head up to look at JJ, curious.

"I.. I just," the blonde slowly rolled up from her position, grinning as Emily whined from her pulling out of the brunette's arms. "Who would have expected this just a few days ago? I wouldn't have. I just…" she sighed, leaning her cheek on her palm. "To be laying in bed, cuddling you, kissing you. I pictured it yesterday, but it's still kind of weird."

Emily chuckled softly, turning to look at Spencer as he stirred in his sleep. "I guess it is kind of weird, huh? I like it though, " Emily winked at her, leaning forward to kiss her lips softly. She pulled herself away hesitantly, climbing out of bed. She walked away, revealing that she wasn't wearing any pants.

The blonde rolled her eyes to the back of her head, smirking as she leaned forward to place a small slap on Emily's ass. "I like it too. And that," she bit her lip as Emily turned to look at her in shock, shaking her head with a slight smile. She watched as Emily pulled a pair of leggings on her body, slipping a sweatshirt over it.

"I'm sure you do," she teased, slightly wiggling her body as she exited the room, heading towards the bathroom. JJ laid back in the bed, staring at the ceiling as she contemplated what she was doing. How was she supposed to tell her mom that she was… she had fallen for a woman? A weight dropped on her chest as she thought of her mother and had to force it out, closing her eyes.

The brunette boy rose from his bed, rubbing his eyes. The movement in the room had awoken him, and it was almost as if he could hear JJ's thoughts rattling around in her brain. "Hey, JJ." He smiled slightly at her before yawning, covering his mouth. "Where's Em?" He asked curiously, looking towards her.

The blonde turned to look at him and shrugged. "She went to the bathroom. Listen, Spence, I…" She paused slightly, rolling up in the bed to face him. He looked at her, furrowing his eyebrows. "Does she…" she sighed softly, unsure of how to word her question. She nodded towards her own arms before looking back at him, which he nodded to, showing her he understood her question.

"She hadn't done it in a long time until…" He grit his teeth. "Until the night of the diner." The blonde's face paled. "It wasn't your fault, it was all of it.. It was.." He gulped slightly, rubbing the back of his head. "I'm sorry, I should have thought about it before I said that. She just felt bad about Elle. I think." He shrugged slightly, turning on the lights.

The brunette walked out of the bathroom soon after, causing the two of them to turn their heads to look at her. 'Spence, you're up." The brunette boy nodded softly, walking over and pulling her into a hug. She froze for a moment with wide eyes, but smiled and quickly hugged him back, wrapping her arms around him tightly. She looked across the room at the blonde who smiled softly at her, her eyes flicking down to Emily's arms. The brunette furrowed her eyebrows, tilting her head slightly. After a moment they pulled away, and Spencer cleared his throat.

"I'm going to meet with Derek, but um.. We can talk later, okay? When we are alone." He nodded slightly, pulling on a pair of sneakers and walking out of the dorm. Emily sighed softly, turning back to look at the blonde who was staring at her with wide eyes.

"You okay, Jay?" The brunette said softly, folding her arms across her chest. The blonde walked over and pulled Emily's face between her hands, staring into her eyes. She pulled her into a lengthy kiss, sliding her hands down to wrap around her neck. Emily moaned softly at the depth, slipping her hands around JJ's waist. After a moment, JJ pulled away to lean her forward against Emily's.

"Emily, I…" JJ slipped her hands down to gently graze her arms. "Don't do this again. I… I'm not an expert on anything, but you don't deserve it." The brunette stared at her a moment, swallowing heavily. "I'm not gonna do something cheesy like kiss your arms or anything, or say, 'don't do this for me," stop for yourself." The blonde looked at her, tilting her head.

Emily smiled softly, nodding. "Okay."