"She gazed forewarnly into a mirror at her prefect figure. 'I hate the prophecy!' angsted Mary Sue, 'for it states that I must chose between Jeff and Steve!' She sobbed tears from her shimmering blue eyes that shimmered like the shimmering sapphires of shimmerness. 'Why must I chose between love while also inheriting the magical power of pure beauty and the ability to melt people with a mere thought. Whoa is me! I guess I will go stop the dark lord now with the power of true love, and maybe with a side of the power of friendship.'"
"And that's why we need more trees because trees and nature are always good! Just like bears! Bears are so nice and cuddly and not at all large, opportunistic and territorial omnivores," Mary Sue said, ending her long 12 page diatribe. "You are so wise, Mary Sue," Greg said as he ripped off his shirt again to reveal his glistening, rock-hard abs. "And you are so sexy too." "I must have you now!" Anthony said as he ripped off his shirt with his powerful biceps. "Your brilliant speech was so powerful that it has left all of the mercenaries from Evil Inc stunned!" "Actually," Steve said, "I think they just fell asleep from boredom. Also, why is my shirt gone?" "Back off, Steve!" Bob yelled as his shirt ripped off from flexing his well defined pectoral muscles. "Mary Sue effortlessly saved the day, but now we must decide who will win her heart." "The answer is obvious," Jeff said, sunlight glistening off the oil that covered his chiseled chest. "We must get oiled up and have a shirtless wrestling match!" The scene was as tense as can be, until Mary Sue fixed it all through magic. How did that happen?
Mary Sue married and fucked them all. The end.