Weeks passed, happiness flooding throughout the University as the holiday season approached, the halls being filled with the bright lights of Christmas. Even if Emily didn't believe in God nor Christian holidays, Christmas was her favorite time of the year. The smell of the snow as it fell from the sky, holiday food (especially pumpkin pie and turkey), the decorations, gift-giving (and receiving.)
It wasn't just Emily who loved Christmas, it was all of them. They all adored the great spirit of the Holidays, the pure happiness and forgiveness of the time. The first time the snow fell to the ground, all of them went outside- JJ, Emily, Derek, and Spence ran outside and fell to the floor, creating snow angels and developing a snowball fight. At one point, Elle, Pen, and Tara noticed them messing around and enjoyed the time with them- completely forgetting about any tension amongst the group.
It was pure joy as they spent hours in the snow, laughing, smiling, even crying from the pain in their stomachs from the happiness. It was as if they all forgot something had happened in the first place. At one point, Elle leaped forward and tackled Emily to the floor, shoveling snow in her face as she laughed out loud. For a moment, JJ felt a twinge of jealousy at their touch, but quickly realized that she was also happy for her… for Emily, because she knew in a platonic way she missed her friendship with Elle.
Even Spencer was in awe of how happy they all were, playing outside until the sky fell into pitch black, the world only lit up by the lights lining up on the main road of their campus. At some point, Penelope was in 'tears' from how cold she was and invited everyone back to their dorm room.
Even though Elle had seemed to forgive them, she had yet to come home. Most of the time, it didn't matter to her as Emily was there a lot of the time since Spencer spent most of the time in his boyfriend's room. JJ was relieved to see that Elle wanted to spend time with them again, maybe she would get her best friend back. She cared very much about Emily, but Emily had Spencer, she had no one.
The two of them all piled into Penelope's room, peeling over their snow-soaked boots, throwing them into a pile in the corner of the bathroom. Derek had snatched a couple bottles of beer and vodka from his room, shoving it into a backpack and running down to the room behind them, closing the door.
Emily plugged her phone into a speaker, playing the best playlist she could think of. A random song, "Yellow" by Coldplay played out, and with content, she took a seat next to JJ on the couch.
Elle watched them from across the room, and sent a brief smile. It took her a lot of time, but she had gotten over it with the help of Penelope and Tara. She was now just simply happy for them, although seeing them together was a bit different than just imagining it.
Spencer grabbed Elle's hand for a moment and nodded at her, proud of her for being so forgiving and content with the situation laid out in front of them. "Good job," he nodded before releasing her hand and leaning over to grab his boyfriend, who was standing near them.
Elle returned the smile, before thinking for a moment. She needed to actually speak to them. Slowly, but surely, she made her way across the room to where JJ and Emily sat, talking quietly under their breaths. She couldn't make out what they were talking about, but was sure she didn't want to actually know. It would either hurt her feelings or gross her out more than likely, unsure of which option was worse. She approached them, looking down at them. "Hey, guys."
JJ turned from the brunette, smiling up at the curly-haired girl. "Elle." She scooted away from Emily, who peered at her for a moment, before turning to look up at Elle with her… with JJ.
"Listen, I think it's obvious, but…." She paused for a moment, turning to play with her hands in front of her abdomen. "I forgive you guys, I want you to be happy. I'm gonna continue staying with Pen and Tara, but I want to be friends. With both of you. Real friends, not just saying we're gonna be friends, but actually being friends and re-getting to know one another." She reached a hand up and began messing with her hair, done speaking.
JJ and Emily looked at one another for a moment, as if speaking through their minds, turning back to look at Elle. The blonde spoke up first, grinning brightly. "Of course, Elle. I missed you. We both did. We want you to be happy, too. However that looks." She reassured me.
The curly hair girl laughed softly, leaning down to pull the two girls into a tight hug. "Thank you guys. Now, update me. What's been going on with you?"
As the three girls chatted away on a couch in the corner of the room, Spencer was standing next to his boyfriend, watching the scene break out. He leaned up to whisper in his ear softly, holding himself up by Derek's shoulder. "I'm glad they are happy. All of them. I'm glad Elle finally forgave them, not that there's a time limit," he said softly.
Derek nodded, looping an arm down around Spencer's waist, pulling him in even closer. He leaned back to return the whisper into his ear, nodding softly. "I'm glad we can all be a group of friends again, even if it looks a little bit different than before. Except, I'm not sure Pen has quite so forgiven Emily yet…" He nodded at the other blonde, who was glaring at the dark haired brunette from the floor.
Spencer laughed softly, leaning his foot forward to gently nudge Penelope in the back. "Hey, whatcha doing, Pen?" The girl turned to look at the couple with a grimace that quickly turned into a wide smile at the sight of them being affectionate.
"How ya babes doing tonight?"
Tara quickly joined in the conversation following her best friend, the four of them chatting, while the other three laughed amongst themselves.
The friends were finally content amongst each other again, laughing, smiling, without the weight of circumstance preventing them from doing so.
They talked for hours endlessly about nothing but also everything, all of them together but also separately at times. They drank, played a couple games, but at one point in the night..
"Mom?" Emily picked up her ringing phone, confusion and worry written all over her face. The last time she got a random phone call from her mother, it was telling her that she didn't want her to come home. "Is everything ok?" The room went silent, as everyone turned to look at the brunette, JJ's jaw dropping at the mention of the ambassador. "Mhmm." Emily nodded in response as her mouth spoke through the phone, biting down softly on her lip.
Everyone in the room listened to them conversate in peace for a while, silent as they didn't want to interrupt. "I…. You want me to invite my friends to a Christmas party?" She reiterated, making sure it was loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. Derek whistled, which caused Spencer to lean across the table and punch him in the arm to shut him up. "Okay, December 23rd. Formal attire. I'll see you then… mom." She said softly, hanging up the phone.
--
Emily stood in the middle of JJ's apartment, flattening the dress hugging the curves of her body. The nerves were eating away her heart muscle, pounding heavily in her chest- she could almost hear it from the outside. Her… JJ was currently settled away in the bathroom, applying makeup as Emily waited outside. She had on a black dress, a pair of black fuck-me pumps, and her hair was pinned back behind her ears as it had grown out more than before.
She had taken her own time in the bathroom, but was still frustrated with the length JJ was taking it to. Jennifer was beautiful on her own, she didn't need anything to add to it. Although Emily certainly wasn't complaining when JJ walked out with her cheekbones highlighted, her breasts highlighted in her red tight dress. She grinned at her, allowing her tongue to slip out and slid among her lower lip, her eyes looking up and down her body. "Emmmy…" JJ whined softly, looking at Emily's actions. "Stop, we have to go meet up with them before the party." She sighed softly as Emily walked over, looping a hand around her hip, gripping it softly between her fingers. "Em…" She moaned softly as Emily leaned forward to suck a spot on her neck gently between her lips.
"You look so fucking sexy though, Jay, please, just a quickie..'' She placed kisses down her neck, all the way down to her collarbones, gently sucking every now and then lightly enough to not leave any marks. She let her hands fall down to her ass, gently massaging it between her hands.
JJ let her do it for a moment, throwing her head back out as she let out a sinful moan, her hands flying up to Emily's hair as her tongue slipped into the crevice between JJ's breasts. Logically, she knew it needed to end as they had to move onto the rest of their night, but holy shit, Emily's tongue fit so perfectly on her body. "Okay, Em," she groaned softly as Em's hand traveled from her behind to in between her thighs. "We have to go, baby," Emily sighed softly against her skin, nibbling softly. "We can do this later tonight, okay?" Emily rolled her eyes slightly, taking her hand once more and pushing it up the bottom of her dress, causing JJ to grind softly against her touch.
"Oh- Em," JJ breathed out, willing herself to pull away. "I hate you." She said softly, adjusting her dress back to normal.
The brunette stood smugly, flashing the girl a wink. "You love me." She skipped in front of her to the door, grabbing her purse from the hook. The blonde stood still for a moment, pondering her words. She knew it was a joke, but was it possible she did? She watched as Emily walked in front of her, smiling softly. Even if she was a fucking tease, she made JJ very happy. I'm a little bit too happy.
The two of them had even decided to tell Sandy, JJ's mom, together. They had been together just a little over a month, and they were already telling family- excluding Emily. They would never be telling the ambassador such a thing. JJ was nervous as hell as they started the facetime call together, but after a long session of questions and crying, Sandy came to the conclusion that she loved Emily and all she wanted was for them to be happy. JJ couldn't believe her mom came to acceptance so soon, but certainly wasn't complaining about it either. Emily knew there was no point in bothering- her mother had kicked her out right before school started in her freshman year and while she hadn't said it was because Emily came out, she knew the truth.
The blonde rolled her eyes, following after Emily. They hadn't declared whether they were together or not, and it made JJ nervous. She was sure they were only hooking up with each other, and was only treating each other that way but maybe just maybe they weren't… together. She grabbed her purse, shutting and locking the door.
The two of them climbed in her car, making their way back to the dorms as they had planned to all meet before the party and share their gifts. All of Emily's gifts were still in her room, and JJ's were in the trunk of the car. Surprisingly for such chaotic girls, they were very well prepared for the situations to come tonight. Excluding one.
They quickly arrived, JJ grabbing her gift bags and they scampered inside, stopping by Emily's quickly to grab hers. The gathering was scheduled in the same room as always, Penelope, Tara's, and Elle's. Although it didn't used to be Elle's, JJ had grown accustomed to no longer having her around. Unfortunately.
It was only a minute before they were knocking on the door of the other girls' dorm, and they were quickly let in. They noted they were the last to arrive which caused JJ to look at her watch, realizing they were 15 minutes late. Spencer was laughing from the corner of the room and quickly blared out, "Emily Prentiss? Late? So surprising!" Which caused everyone else to laugh, including JJ. Emily scowled at everyone as she fought with a smile.
After a while of teasing the two girls for being late, and assuming why they were, they eventually gathered in a gift-giving circle where Emily could finally see everyone's formal wear. Spencer was wearing a nice long sleeved white shirt with a small red bowtie, along with a pair of high waisted black pants. His partner, Derek, on the other hand was matching. He was wearing a red long sleeve with a white bow-tie, slacked with black pants. She smiled at their outfits, turning to look at everyone else. Elle was wearing a pretty long white dress with a pair of white flats, her hair straightened and tied up behind her ears. Penelope, naturally, had gone above and beyond. She was wearing a poofy christmas dress with christmas tree earrings, with long platform boots. She shook her head softly, looking at the last girl. Tara was wearing a small black dress, complete with a pair of boots. Everyone looked good. Really good.
"Ok, Ok! Me first!" Penelope shouted, handing out her gifts to everyone. On the count of the three, everyone ripped open their neatly wrapped presents. Spencer received a copy of his all-time favorite play, "Woyzeck", which Emily claimed she had to read at some point. Emily herself received a pretty necklace made of diamond with the letter "E" attached to it. She was in love with it. "Thank you, Pen." Was called out by multiple people, but especially by JJ, who had been given a soccer ball signed by her favorite star. She was in awe of how her friend managed to receive it, but knew not to ask questions.
"Okay, me next," JJ announced, giving everyone their gifts. Everyone received their favorite food and drink, as well as a personalized ring to each of them. Emily looked at her curiously as one of her presents was just a simple note, "later". Little did JJ know, Emily was also planning on giving her another gift later.
Most notable of all gifts of the evening, was Derek's gift to Emily. As she was opening the package, it slowly dawned on her what she was receiving and her face turned bright red. "See- it vibrates, and it's double penetrative!" Derek teased, lightly punching her in the arm which caused her to scowl and instantly shove the gift back in her bag- not to say they wouldn't be using something of the sort at some point.
The rest of the gathering went by as everyone received gifts from each person, a few tears being shed, and many many many hugs (except for Spencer.) Soon, the clock rang 8:00 and they had to be on their way to the party, each taking seperate cars. Penelope drove Elle and Tara per usual, Spencer drove Derek, and JJ drove Emily. They arrived all around the same time, pulling up to an extremely large and well-lit mansion, filled with cars all over the place. There were a lot of people there, and Emily felt like she was going to die from how hard her heart was beating. "Hey, your mom got the invite too, right?" She said softly as JJ took her hand in her own, pulling it up and placing a kiss on it.
JJ nodded in response, also feeling the nerves of meeting the Ambassador. Even if she wasn't meeting her as Emily's partner, she was meeting her in general. She was a very influential woman, but she was also very terrifying. She knew she would feel better with her mom there, and the Ambassador said it was fine, the more guests the merrier. As they pulled up to the gate, someone stepped out to take each of the cars and park them. The group walked in together, although neither of the couples were holding hands- in fact, Emily was walking quite a bit away from JJ. JJ understood why, but in a way, it also hurt. She didn't want Emily to completely pretend she didn't exist. As someone opened the door for the group, they stepped into the brightly lit staircase, revealing the marble floor and glass chandelier hanging from the ceiling. JJ gulped, realizing just how differently the two girls were raised. She knew they had very different lives but didn't realize it was so strong until now.
"Emily!" A woman's voice called out from the top of stairs as she made her way down, drawing the brunette's attention.
"Mother." Emily said softly, pulling her mother into a slight embrace. It was obvious the two of them weren't very close from the way they hesitantly embraced one another. It was very stressful, and each of Emily's friends observed this.
"How have you been, my dear daughter? Tell me, who are all of your friends?" The older woman turned to look at all of the college students, her gaze penetrating each and every one of them.
Emily cleared her throat, nodding slightly. "Uh, this is JJ," she nodded at the blonde, quickly moving onto the next. "This is Elle," she pointed, "Derek," "Spencer, the guy I told you about," "Tara," "and Penelope. My best friends." She smiled softly back at the group, but JJ was biting back a snarky comment as she knew it would lead nowhere good at the moment. The Ambassador inspected every single one of them, but especially looked upon Derek.
She leaned toward her daughter, trying her best to whisper, but unfortunately her statement was heard by everyone. "That one your boyfriend?' Emily's eyes widened but she quickly shook her head, folding her hands.
"I don't have one, mother, I explained that." She forced a smile, looking up at her mother. Her mother nodded abruptly.
"Of course. I have many men you can meet tonight, allow me to find some of them." She strutted away, and as soon as she was out of sight, JJ instantly walked up to Emily. The group of friends strayed away, most likely either going to find the food, booze, or possibly even cute guys for the single girls.
"Em, listen, I know that we aren't telling your mom, but can you not treat me the way you have been?" The blonde looked up at Emily, standing with her arms folded across her chest. "You couldn't have at least told her I'm your best friend? I just," she sighed. "I know we aren't dating, but."
The brunette froze, staring at her with a cocked eyebrow. "We aren't dating?" She laughed softly, confusion written all over her face. "I'm sorry, Jayje. We definitely are dating, but you are right, I'll just… I'll treat this better tonight. I'm sorry." She leaned forward and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Now let's dance!"
--
"Mom!" The blonde called across the decorated dance room, strung up christmas lights and even a large white tree in the corner. It wasn't a ball, per se, but a very formal gathering of influential people. Sandy looked a bit overwhelmed, and JJ noted that, going over and grabbing her mother's hand. "Hey!" She pulled her into a tight hug, burying her face in the woman's shoulder. Emily watched from a few feet away with a soft smile on her face. JJ pulled away after a moment, bringing her mother over to Emily. "You guys technically already met, but here we are again.." Sandy pulled the brunette into a tight hug, instantly alarming Emily.
JJ watched with a warm smile, knowing that Emily hadn't felt a mother's touch in such a way. Emily had never said her mother acted in such a way, but she observed it from her behavior for just a few moments of seeing them together. She knew her mother loved Emily just from a facetime, and would love her even more in person. "I'm so happy to meet you in person, Emily," Sandy said softly as she released the girl.
Emily nodded, sticking her hand out for a handshake. The woman looked down at it for a moment, glancing briefly at her daughter before returning the handshake. "It's so great to meet you, Mrs. Jareau, honest. You and your daughter are great." The woman laughed softly, pulling her hand back to her hips as she looked at Emily up and down. The brunette blushed softly, turning her gaze up to the ceiling as she inspected the decorations strung up all over. As a child, her mother never decorated unless she was having a party like the one they were having. It was kind of depressing, she would get plenty of gifts, but she never got the christmas spirit or decorations she truly craved.
JJ's mom observed her behavior, glancing back at her daughter once more with concern. The blonde shrugged slightly, offering a sly smile. "Alright, well, where's your mother?" Emily turned to look at her, glancing around the hall. Out of the corner of her eye, she observed her mother. She pointed at her without speaking, and Ms. Jareau grinned. "Alright, I am going to meet her." The brunette smiled, JJ coming over to stand near her.
"Let me introduce you," Emily moved from her position, but was instantly stopped by the woman. Sandy shook her head.
"Nonsense. I must speak to my future daughter-in-law's mother on my own, we have to get to know one another if we are going to have that relationship." Emily laughed softly, shrugging as she shook her head.
"Alright, Mrs. Jareau. She's not very warm, I'm just warning you." Sandy bat her words away with a smile and a shake of her hand, heading her way towards the Ambassador. She arrived and they spoke for a moment, although they were unable to hear what they were discussing. Emily turned to JJ with a big smile. "I adore your mom, can I move in with her?"
Before the blonde could respond, she heard her mother say the words that made her stomach flip. "I hope they get married- JJ and Emily, they are so precious together. I love your daughter so much, she's the sweetest." All of the voices around quieted down as they realized the woman was talking about the Ambassador's daughter. Even the Ambassador herself was silent as she stared at the other woman.
Emily felt like she was going to die in the moment, the silence of the hall, the way her mother turned up to glare daggers into her soul. She was convinced that if she killed herself in this moment, that was the right answer. She wanted to run, run far away, run as fast as she could. Except she was frozen. Frozen to her spot in the ground with JJ on her side, equally as panicky as she was.
"Emily, I need to speak to you." The Ambassador growled as she approached her daughter, gripping her arm tightly as she dragged her away from the room, Emily looking back at her girlfriend.
"Mother, I-I was going to tell you, I swear," Emily stuttered, but was quickly cut off by the woman as they arrived in the kitchen.
"That was so embarrassing, Emily. You are going to destroy my reputation with this, you know that, correct? You…" She gritted her teeth, shaking her head. "I thought this phase was over. I thought it was a phase caused by the.. Situation in Italy. You… This is an abomination, Emily. We need to get you back into the Church. You don't realize what you are doing to your soul." She stared at her daughter with absolutely no emotion in her eyes.
The brunette swallowed heavily, unsure if she was supposed to answer or not. She stared at her mother with tears in her eyes, trying her best to fight them. She learned a long time ago that crying in front of the Ambassador wasn't the right thing to do. Her silence apparently made the woman more mad, and soon she felt her mother's hand against her cheek and fell to the floor, holding her burning. "You are no daughter of mine, Emily."
JJ and her mother ran into the room after debating what to do, and watched the scene break out in front of them. JJ instantly ran over to her girlfriend, sliding to the floor to grab her cheek as well. "Em- are you okay?" She questioned before turning up to glare at the Ambassador. She was no longer afraid of the woman, more disgusted than anything. How could someone be so hateful?
Sandy quickly followed her daughter, the two of them helping the brunette up. She didn't bother speaking to the woman, she couldn't scrounge up any words that weren't just as bad or even possibly worse. "Emily," the Ambassador spoke as the brunette stood up on her own two feet. "You are to never come back to this house. You are cut off. If you are going to live this," she scanned her eyes over to the blonde, "lifestyle- then you are done. I will not pay for your college, I will not support you in any way. You are done. I thought we were just getting along again. Why would you do this to us, Emily? Why would you destroy our relationship like this, time and time again?" Normally, the brunette would stand in shock and not respond, but something about this situation especially set her off.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Ambassador. I didn't mean to ruin your reputation, I'm sorry I was only being myself. I hate you. I don't want to be your fucking daughter," she spit on her shoes, btiing her lip. "You are hateful, you are disgusting, you are the worst," JJ and her mother were attempting to drag her out so she wouldn't continue saying things she would regret. "You are the worst mother I've ever seen! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" She screamed, dragged out of the house.
--
"I'm sorry, I didn't know I wasn't… I'm so sorry, Jennifer." Sandy said softly, her eyes glancing to the backseat, where Emily was laying her face buried in her hands. "This is all my fault."
"No, mom, this isn't anyone's fault except the Ambassador's. She's the bigot. I'll bring you back to your hotel," she said softly. The three of them drove to the nearest hotel where Sandy was already staying, Emily silent the whole ride. It was as if she was never going to speak again, and JJ was terrified. She felt awful for her love, she deserved so much better than what she was getting from her mother.
She dropped her mother off, and assumed Emily would climb into the front seat and take Sandy's place, but she made no movement as she stared at the ceiling of the small car. "Are you going to come up here, Em?" JJ said softly, using her hand to turn to look back at her girlfriend.
The brunette stayed silent for a moment before whispering. 'Just bring me back to the dorms." JJ paused, confusion filling her. Why wouldn't she want to stay with JJ, she had been for days upon days. She stopped the car in the parking lot so she could completely turn to speak to Emily.
"Em? What do you mean? You don't want to stay with me?" The brunette pondered her words for a moment, emotionless. She didn't want to think. She didn't want to feel. She was scared of what she was feeling, she was scared of what just happened, she was fucking terrified. She pushed herself up from her position, turning to stare her girlfriend in the eye.
"Bring me back to the fucking dorms, JJ. I don't owe you an explanation." Instant regret filled Emily, but she couldn't take back what she was already saying. She had to go through with it.
The blonde stared at her, tears beginning to fill her eyes. It was like a stab in the heart, Emily's anger. It reminded her a bit too much of a past situation, and she couldn't handle it if… she didn't want Emily to turn out like him. "Em, what's going on? Talk to me?" She reached her hand forward to grab Emily's, but realized it was a fatal mistake as Emily ripped her hand away, causing JJ's hand to go flying. "Emily?" The use of her full name brought Emily back to reality, but also caused more anger.
"This is all your fault. I didn't want to tell your mom, but you wanted to. I just go with whatever the fuck you want because I like you, and you wanted to, but it was a fucking mistake, JJ. It's all your fault. So fuck you, honestly. I'm so fucking….it's your fault!" She shouted, tears pouring out of her eyes that matched JJ's simultaneous crying.
"Emily, you don't mean that-'' the blonde began, now sobbing as she tried her best to wipe her tears away but of course she couldn't fight the raw emotions she was feeling- anger, confusion, hurt, and the weirdest above all: love. "You don't…." she stuttered,burying her face in her hands. "Why are you doing this?"
The brunette shoved the seat in front of her, allowing her anger to take over. "I don't know how I thought this was a good idea. You and your fucking mom just ruined my life. You think I can stay at the school, you think I can graduate without my mom paying for it? Fuck you, Jennifer. Bring me back to my dorm." The blonde froze for a moment at Emily getting physical with something, her chest clenching as she got flashbacks to the first time Will got angry.
"No, you know what, fuck YOU, Emily. You don't get to do this. I get you are upset, I get you are hurt by your mom and it fucking sucks, but I'm willing to be here for you and so is my mom, because I love you, you fucking idiot." She cried out, turning to look at the brunette who turned to stare at her.
"I don't fucking care." She spat at the blonde, turning and throwing open the door, climbing out of the car and storming in a random direction, unsure of where she was going. JJ sat frozen, pain stabbing her heart as she had been honest and open, only resulting in more anger. She could drive off and leave Emily, but unfortunately for her, she knew deep down that wasn't an option. She climbed out of the car, running after the brunette.
"Well, guess what? I care! I fucking care about you!" JJ gently shoved her from behind to get her attention, causing the brunette to whirl around and look at her. Emily furrowed her eyebrows, staring intensely at her. "I don't want to! You think I'm thrilled about this? You think I'm thrilled about your mom doing this? I can help you, Emily! We can all fucking help you, but you don't want that! You just want to push everyone away because you are a coward, Emily! Why won't you just let people care about you?" She said softly, stepping away from her.
The brunette sighed softly, biting her lip as she turned to look away from her. "Please, just go. Go, JJ. Fucking go! I don't, I need to be alone!" She yelled, turning to glare at her. The blonde stared back, but took a deep breath and took off in the opposite direction, back to her car. She quickly pulled off, leaving a starring Emily.