. . . . .

End of the Line

Chapter Four

. . . . .

Joanne knew the quest that would lead to this inn and a certain woman. She hoped she would run into Saadia - or whoever she wanted to be called - because she had a weapon. Even if it was just a dagger that meant she could defend herself somehow. It would just help to take cover behind someone who knew how to fight. But Saadia was nowhere to be seen; she probably locked herself in her room at the sound of Vilkas breaking down doors. It was eerily quiet in the next room so she desperately searched through the cabinets. All she found was a knife.

It was sharp; her clumsily pricking her finger on it proved that. If a Dragonborn could kill someone with a knife through elaborate tricks, well why couldn't she lodge this in someone's eye as a distraction and bolt for safety in the confusion?

She just had to do something. She could live the npc lifestyle, but even they turned into killing machines if a crime was committed or a random bear she didn't feel like fighting was led into town. Clearly the blood rushing to her head after being shook in the air was affecting her for such thoughts...but she didn't discourage them. Joanne sucked in a breath and walked on the tips of her toes toward the main room.

The innkeeper was surrendering with a sword pointed right at her throat, customers were hiding in corners of behind overturned tables and Uthgerd had her own sword out and aimed for the Imperial guy she previously battered by the time Joanne reached the main room. She almost didn't see Vilkas behind the counter until he stepped out from behind the innkeeper glaring at the Imperial challenging him to strike her. But Joanne had an idea who Vilkas would have preferred to defend.

This was a tense moment, but Joanne honestly expected the two Alik'r warriors who would show up fairly early in the main quest and demand to find the traitor. Thankfully they hadn't thought to check the inn yet. Joanne dropped to her knees and crawled to one of the one of the overturned tables. She had to hold her arms to her sides and squeeze between the lute player and a drunk with the fumes coming from his breath threatening to make her gag and end this disturbing silence. Both were perfectly still, only looking her way long enough to give her grim expressions as if pleading her not to give away their location.

Wouldn't dream of letting other people die before me. She thought, giving those guys what she hoped was a reassuring look each.

Someone else in the room coughed. Joanne didn't know from where, but that was enough to bring the situation to a boiling point. Unfortunately a moment was just enough time for Random Imperial to grab the innkeeper's dress and yank her close. The sword grazed past her ear miraculously not drawing blood.

"Hand over the woman." Random Imperial said tonelessly. "The last thing we need is senseless bloodshed. You're just trying to run a business. It's so simple."

The innkeeper didn't struggle in his hold, never even flinching nose to nose with him. Joanne had a decent enough side view to see the stormy expression on her face, more than likely daring him to hurt Saadia. The innkeeper and Saadia's relationship was a mystery at best, Joanne certainly didn't see them talking about her real identity, but the innkeeper didn't look like she was going to sell her out. Random Imperial didn't receive the message.

It took the innkeeper breezily latching onto the hilt and his hand before Random Imperial realized what her answer was. He not so respectfully disagreed, going as far as to punch her in the stomach to free his sword. Joanne held her own stomach and audibly choked watching the innkeeper stagger away heaving. If anything above heaving happened Joanne would have had to look away, but thankfully it didn't and her wide and amazed eyes locked on to yet another spontaneous burst of combat.

"Go to hell!"

"Feel like more of a man?!"

Vilkas and Uthgerd made their cries before swinging their weapons at Random Imperial. Even if one ignored how strong Uthgerd was by default, it was obvious how the guy lost his brawl spectacularly. His reaction time wasn't the best; both weapons struck his armor and he just barely managed to dodge decapitation. The more skilled fighters weren't even actively supporting each other, but Random Imperial was sloppy having to do a ridiculous dance to ensure steel clashed instead of their steel through his major organs.

Vilkas had to run and leap over the counter, scattering parchments and bowls of bread all over the floor. In that short moment of defenselessness Random Imperial did get a strike on his leg, that did make him slower to get in a fighting stance once back on his feet. That was the major contribution of him in that fight before Uthgerd stole the spotlight and was making all kinds of forceful swings and cornering Random in every small space she could. Every comment out of her mouth was something along the lines of disgust for the sucker punch and gleefully anticipating knocking him the fuck out for crashing a peaceful setting and casually making demands to take people in broad daylight. Even worse was that he specifically had a woman in mind.

Uthgerd was a common follower Joanne would use. Sometimes she made up plots that she and the Dragonborn had an enduring platonic bond. There was only one time in-game Joanne never saw Uthgerd die while adventuring; she made up a story that the Dragonborn never got over it and since it was a random group of bandits they kept taking jobs for bandits as some way of revenge. She didn't know why she thought of that as she watched Uthgerd smash and beat Random.

Random was having a pretty bad nosebleed after steel was slammed into his face. He managed to dodge her long enough to make feeble hits that only echoed off her armor and invited her to let loose on him again. But it wasn't just Uthgerd, no, Vilkas was often left in the dust and with no one to fight due to her taking over but he did finally get to leave his own damage.

Customers were fleeing as quick as they could when the fight reached what had to be the minute mark. Joanne remained behind her original table clutching her knife out like she was actually going to harm someone. But it seemed less likely she was going to be in danger...or that Random Imperial was a true threat. All he wanted was to make some gold...she didn't want to comment even inwardly how competent he looked doing so knowing who horribly she'd fail if she took up combat.

Uthgerd did that move where she flipped her two-handed weapon sideways and rammed it against Random's chest. He gasped out a curse and was pinned between the wall and her. Before Uthgerd could do anything more, Vilkas cast his arm underneath her weapon and grasped a handful of Random's tunic yanking him with as much force as he'd done to the innkeeper or maybe more judging by the speed he was pulled out of that corner...forehead smacking right into the other two handed sword's hilt and all leaving a nasty red and swelling spot.

Vilkas was steaming. It was clear he needed the outlet that was flattening this guy's skeleton like Uthgerd was able to. He switched from the tunic to pulling at the guy's long and perfectly straight hair, coming close to dragging him by the head toward the hearth.

"What- What are you doing- Trying to kill me?!" Random screeched as he was unceremoniously dropped against the very small barrier that contained dwindling but still blazing flames. He didn't receive an answer fast enough, wriggled in a weak attempt at freeing himself.

"Go ahead, burn the bastard." Uthgerd said a little too casually, walking past sheathing her weapon.

"You can't get away with this!" Random shrieked like an Oblivion goblin. "I made a simple request! I just want to find someone! If you burn me alive that's murder! Murder! What kind of gods forsaken land do you-"

Joanne winced, still not enough to drop the knife, as Vilkas made a forceful slap across his face to calm him down? That strangely worked as while Random's head shook he at least stopped his rambling.

"I, too, heard some Redguards were searching for one of their own. I also happen to know a female Redguard, but I want to make sure we're not talking about the same. If we are, giving you a few burns won't make me lose sleep. If we aren't, you're free to go with this lovely mane of yours unscathed."

His weak spot is his hair? I mean it does look good now that I look at it! But what kind of person is seriously going to be threatened by losing that more than burned skin- Joanne's train of thought was derailed and went up in flames as Random began making agonized sobbing noises. She didn't see tears, though. She didn't know if she could watch a grown man cry without a tragic enough reason.

"Were you after Priya or not?!" Vilkas shouted right in his face, giving him a coating of spit all the while.

The guy was tipped backward, gorgeous hair being released strand by strand slowly. He was blubbering at first, inaudible until he was so close that anyone's temperature would spike. Joanne remembered the times she would sit too close to just an enclosed fireplace in the winter and quickly have her frosted hands go toasty and missed it honestly.

"I don't know the woman's name! Priya?! Who gives a damn?! I just need to finish my job so I can buy a fucking ride back home!" Random yelled at the top of his lungs.

Vilkas studied him for a moment. At the sound of the door being thrown open and the distinct sound of guards shouting about peace disturbance, Random's head made the worst crunch sound as it was pointlessly smashed against the hearth barrier as a finishing move.

Joanne was still frozen behind the overturned table, shaking hands clutching the knife as Vilkas stepped over Random drifting out of consciousness on the floor. They made eye contact, during which she was certain they were judging each other. For what he judged her for, she didn't know. As for Joanne, she doubted her opinion would matter, it didn't seem right for everyone to attack Random so hard when he wasn't a villain. At least he didn't seem to have doing anything offensive aside from sucker punch a business owner. She wondered what the guards would think as three of them walked around scoping out the scene with one of them helping Uthgerd bring the innkeeper to her feet.

Someone else clicked their tongue as they strolled in last. "Brother, don't tell me you drank too much again. You know your temper..." It had to be Farkas.

Joanne was tired of trembling and hiding, but pretty much sank to the floor and tried to make herself purposefully invisible. She wasn't thrilled to speak to him again; he might try to offer friendship. If she had any sneak ability she would try to crawl away while he was strolling by to Vilkas and helpfully dusting off his shoulder.

"No one knows where Priya is! I mean..." Vilkas cursed and forcefully shoved past Farkas and a guard.

"You can calm down!" Farkas called out to him. "I saw her make a hasty exit out the gate; she's safe! As if random thugs could take her down..."

Vilkas stopped sharply at the door, seemingly fixated on it. From behind Joanne couldn't see his expression obviously, but he visibly released a breath and some serious tension. He said nothing more, finished with the scene he'd contributed to and the subject.

"Wait a moment!" One of the guards called out, chasing after. "You can't leave before giving a report of what happened! Don't think that just because you're a Companion you're untouchable..."

Joanne assumed the confrontation between Vilkas and guard didn't need her gawking eyes. With Farkas crowding the innkeeper and asking questions oblivious to her upset state, she dropped to her belly and made an effort to drag herself across the floor. You've already made yourself look like poor and desperate when trying to get the room. She told herself bitterly. Crawl through the dirt and dust like the filth you are anyway. Don't look up. Don't even give Farkas a chance to notice you look like-

"Anne?"

Joanne wanted to scream, but settled for the internal variation.

Farkas stepped around the overturned table quickly, almost as if delighted to see her. Just as he opened his mouth again he realized the state of it and took the chance to swiftly flip it back on its legs. Joanne had a chance to flee in that one moment she stepped aside to give him the room for that...but didn't know if he'd follow. Honestly, he seemed the type to follow unless given a slap on the wrist.

"Anne, I spoke with Aela and Ria on the walk back." Farkas explained, gaining enthusiasm with every other word. "Ria and I thought it would be a good idea for you to visit Jorrvaskr; we could give you combat training. I noticed you weren't carrying weapons, let alone any possessions earlier so it's going to be difficult to make the change to living in such a different place. Aela didn't seem interested in the conversation, but I asked her to pass on the idea to the others. Maybe if we get enough votes we could even offer a bed and meals when needed."

Okay, sounds like a handout. Don't let him do this. Don't let him feel sorry for you. Don't!

Joanne clenched her fists behind her back, forcing herself to stand as tall for her stature as she could. She tried to make her face empty of any expression; irritation, panic, self-loathing- She didn't any of that as she attempted to say no. "No" was a wonderful word, and one Farkas most likely heard often in tactical group discussions.

Farkas just patiently waited for her response, somehow looking like less of a grown man and more of an eager child with shining eyes and an innocent smile. Joanne attempted to avert her eyes, but couldn't look away from the life and hope swimming in his. It reminded her of certain people.

Chris would give similar looks...

Sam couldn't escape those looks either...

"What do you think, Anne?"

He couldn't have known the power he was using. That thought was the only one keeping Joanne mildly sane as she found her voice and gave the wrong answer.

"I'll visit, but I can't promise...I'll stay." She cringed the moment the words left her mouth.

Farkas was positively beaming in response, breathlessly told her he understood and was making a hasty exit before she could say anything else. Joanne was rooted to the spot, cringing as much as her body allowed before realizing he wasn't going out the door until she followed.

. . . . .

The walk to Jorrvaskr wasn't long, but Joanne's mind stretched it out in painful detail along the way. Each step with her bare feet on cool stone was like shards of glass piercing her skin. Every breath was cut short as if the smoke from the blazing forges was automatically drawn to her. The sunlight, the only warmth on a cool day like this one felt like it might blind her and she would gladly accept having a curtain of darkness over this fictional world. The cries of Heimskr, already obnoxious for looping, drilled deep into her ear canal to burst her eardrum. Farkas' unintentionally awkward attempts at light conversation were just that.

Finally the mead hall was in sight after, approximately, two fucking minutes. It was much larger in person with a light coating of snow falling from the roof. She could hear clashing swords from the back training area. Aela was standing outside, arms folded and leaning against the wall as if she was expecting someone. Joanne did everything in her power to not admit she was waiting for her.

"You couldn't let it go, could you?" Aela asked them with an unreadable expression but grim tone. "Are we so desperate for more Companions we can't wait for skilled fighters to show up?"

Farkas gave Joanne an almost apologetic look before his expression went neutral, then he stepped in front of her most likely to be a stubborn barrier or communicate to Aela he wasn't changing his mind. Joanne just felt like an inanimate object of little value being pointlessly argued about.

Joanne peeked around Farkas' back to see that Aela's body language didn't really suggest wanting an argument. Her position against the wall was much more casual, there was some effort to maintain putting more balance on one leg because she really just wanted to return to whatever she did to relax...probably more archery practice.

"I'm not requesting she join." Farkas managed to say without any waver in his tone. "The Companions help people. More often than not problems are solved with fighting, but this one needs sympathy. Anne couldn't have come to Skyrim willingly, and now she has no way to defend herself or have more than one meal."

"You keep talking for her." Aela said quickly, also looking around his side and locking eyes with Joanne. Soon her pointer finger was aimed, and she had to have seen her flinch. "All I want is an explanation from the woman herself."

"I'll tell you everything!" Joanne immediately responded, ready to get the judgment over with. "Summon this whole group of yours and I'll tell it to everyone no matter how awkward I become!"

Suddenly Aela was walking up to her. Joanne forced herself to stay still as she came closer, pushing Farkas aside...closer...she sucked in air as the woman who was maybe around Chris' height or even slightly taller was up in her personal space as much as allowed with the glasses in the way.

She must have seen fear. Fear, insecurities, of course the self-loathing. She didn't have to say she was trying to find the truth; that was very clear. But if Farkas leaned into her ear and helpfully told how Aela did that to everyone to test if they were easily rattled, Joanne would believe that too.

"Anne, if it makes you uncomfortable-" Farkas attempted to say.

"Take me to your whole group." Joanne said much more firmly, at least one eye shifting to the side to avoid most of Aela's piercing gaze.

Mercifully Aela pulled back and spun around like nothing happened. "Very well. If I had to vote, I hope mine was clear enough. But if you...if both of you are so determined to make a scene, I've no desire to intervene."

"And maybe my brother will return soon enough." Farkas added, looking to Ann with unfortunate reassurance. "You've seen how intense Vilkas can be sometimes, but if he heard your story you would have a chance of being accepted."

Aela stopped to give Farkas a warning look, one he totally ignored as he gestured for Joanne to follow into the hall. She didn't want him to give away too much information about how the Companions were structured to someone who most likely wouldn't have any association, and yet he gave a brief and simple explanation the three of them were part of a Circle. Maybe votes from the Circle would overpower a consensus. Joanne almost expected him to come out and reference Hircine's gifts while he was at it, but that never came as they stepped inside.

Jorrvaskr was certainly warmer than the outside, although that could have been Joanne's temperature spiking as she saw the large tables and imagined all the people sitting there listening to her explain her origin story. She didn't have an origin story, at least developments from Farkas' interpretation hadn't come to mind yet. But she hurried. Faster, brain! Faster! I don't care if they don't give me pity gifts; this is about not letting anyone know there's a real world out there! They can't find out. Nope. Won't let them. Her brain was under tremendous stress as she sunk into one of the chairs. There was some dried bread and half a of mead left at the seat she was in. Farkas kept an eye on her by taking one of the seats on her right, not the closest. Thank fuck. Aela disappeared to round up their fellow Companions.

Joanne didn't feel bad for grabbing the cup of mead and downing it fast as she could. Farkas was staring in bewilderment this time, but she didn't care. She would need something to get through talking to more than one person, and as someone who'd only ever drank exactly...two times in her life...she felt like she was going to be sick. But she hoped her alcohol tolerance was low enough she could be hammered by the time all the chairs were filled.

"Would you like another drink?" Farkas asked quietly, more than likely processing that scene.

Joanne saw Ria entering the room from the corner of her eye, dragging an obviously drunk Torvar by the arm. She was almost jealous she couldn't be so out of it like that, even if expecting it from half a cup was illogical. She just ignored the offer, especially as she saw Athis and Njada coming from the training area with the latter cursing and complaining about how her attempt to beat her own record was rudely interrupted.

The four found their seats in seemingly random places, but they were at the same table. Joanne was horrified to see the two closest seats to her on either side were still open. Any color in her face had to leave when she thought of Aela or Kodlak staring into her pathetic soul.

Then her eyes fell on Athis, who seemed less confused about the gathering and more fascinated with her in general. She wanted to claw her neck, draw blood and sever her spine as he gave her looks like she was some race entirely. She feared speaking to everyone, but especially him because he was the real foreigner in this land. He knew what it was like to have to adapt to a new culture, then prove himself to be just as capable in a fight. He would be the first to find holes in her god awful story, she just knew it.

Finally Aela returned with Skjor – how was he alive – and Kodlak. Joanne wanted to completely disintegrate at sight of the guy who was basically their leader. Previous playthroughs let her know officially he was looked at for plans and respected but he didn't give anybody orders. That didn't mean he wasn't intimidating knowing he was looked up to by everyone else. Powerful people gave vibes like that whether unintentionally or no. Never mind Aela and Skjor on either side of him also radiating power like they could make her death much too drawn out. Of course Aela and Kodlak took the seats closest to her. The instinct to run grew stronger with each second, and the only reason Joanne remained in her seat was due to the sweat on her back and the heavier clothing.

Next thing Joanne knew her ears were attacked with a flurry of questions.

"What's the point of this?"

"Who is this woman?"

"Does anybody know where Vilkas is?"

"Can we hurry along so I can drink in peace?"

It was the rumble of Kodlak clearing his throat that silenced everyone. Joanne only had a moment to be grateful, because he set his eyes on her. He was an important person around here, but Joanne wasn't worried about not getting everyone's vote rather she just didn't want to look like a fool around someone with so much power.

"Ria claims she, Aela, and Farkas found you being attacked and came to your rescue. Normally that would be the end of an encounter, but..." Kodlak looked across the way to Farkas, signaling his turn.

"She has nothing, nowhere to go." Farkas said next, but that was all. Perhaps he realized how much he talked for her.

Next Kodlak looked to Aela, and she was much more visibly annoyed. Not to the extent of Torvar and Njada, but enough to be noticed.

"It's simply not our problem." Aela said. She took a pause to gather her thoughts, but Skjor was beginning to make interested sounds and fold his arms behind his head. That made her shoot him a look, one that could be read as this won't be a conflict, stop smiling.

"This set up is too extravagant." Skjor commented, smirking more than smiling but Joanne definitely sided with him especially as when he went on. "If she's not going to be one of us, why? Unless she's a possible Companion, she's no business here."

Joanne agreed with him, but didn't want this set up to go to waste. These people had better things to do, and she'd feel worse taking up their time. So just when she thought she wouldn't need to give her story at all, Kodlak quietly asked for it in a gentle voice to not scare her. Too late. Her palms hit the table and she pushed herself from her chair. She looked straight ahead seemingly at everyone, but in reality her eyes locked on the wall and refused to track anything else. If she caught someone's gaze, she'd only make an even more embarrassing scene.

Will someone just kill me?

"I am Anne: a Breton from High Rock..."

This sounds bad already.

"I don't know how I've come to Skyrim; I can't seem to remember much beyond the last few years. Something must have happened to block them out..."

They'll never believe this; it's too vague.

"I do remember being told I couldn't do anything; my parents didn't want children, sold me for just enough to buy another meal. If I tried to run the world wouldn't be kind to me. The labor, the starving, the occasional beatings were much kinder than what would happen to me outside. I was a scared child so of course I believed all of this..."

What if someone's actually experienced something like this, Joanne?! Fuck you! Shut up!

"So I've never tried to fight. I've never even cast a spell before. Can I even after all these years of ignoring what I could have done? And I hope that can loop around to why...I'm here..."

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

"Long way to ask if you can have combat lessons." Kodlak interrupted smoothly.

"I knew you, of all people, would understand!" Farkas announced with delight that couldn't be contained.

Njada left out a sigh of relief, standing as well. "She's not asking to be a Companion, then. Gods wouldn't help if she were matched against me." She said her part, and ignored the eyes of everyone else as she contently took her leave.

Joanne dared to look around, face flushing nervously but she was glad to have one less soul in the room. She found Kodlak seemingly in thought, Farkas and Aela trying to talk with their contradicting stares, Skjor clearly thought of her awkwardness to be a show and Ria was just giving her a comforting smile through it all. Torvar was too withdrawn without his next drink of the day. The one Companion Joanne truly struggled to look at was Athis, who was just staring down at his arms on the table and seemed to have been doing so a while. Suddenly being alone with him and forced to have polite chitchat was the scariest scenario in her mind.

"We don't have to vote on it?" Joanne succeeded to squeak, looking around.

Kodlak didn't miss a beat, offering a polite enough smile. "Someone with next to no combat experience wouldn't last a day, although we would give you a chance if you offered."

"I didn't...offer..."

"I can sense you're nervous, Anne." Kodlak finally stood, not taller than any other Nord man but casting a shadow over her nonetheless. "I won't say training with any of us will be easy, no, it has potential to be the most difficult move you could make in your first days in Skyrim. We won't try to kill you, but we won't hold back. If you can't prevent a crippling hit from becoming fatal, no one can do anything about it. But I don't want to believe giving you basic combat training will be impossible...difficult, but not impossible." He finished with looking at her, unmistakably offering the smile. He wanted to give her just a piece of hope to hang on to.

"Hope." Joanne said without thinking, shooting her gaze to her toes and twiddling her fingers. "How long has it been since I've actually felt that?"

"You'll either live long enough to see it lead to good things, or miss an opportunity to strike back." Kodlak responded anyway. "Although people cannot live off hope alone, it helps."

Still don't feel it, Kodlak. I'm sorry.

Just before Kodlak could leave Aela rushed to approach, whisper something as the rest of the Companions began to stand with their daily routine interrupted. Joanne pathetically fell against the table as Farkas' hand of good intentions made contact with her upper back, chances of fracture increasing. She wanted to try to read Aela's lip movements, even if from the side. But with the throbbing in her back that was officially ruined.

What are you thinking, Joanne? Your muscles are worthless; you can't lift a real life weapon! You can't read other people! You don't have fast reflexes! And now...now you might die from training with people who were probably blessed by their gods if those star signs mean shit beyond gameplay choices!

Unless...that was your intent? Bleed out in a sea of your own blood and entrails by a badly timed defensive block or combat roll? Oh, that's only vaguely efficient of you. But do remember, keep this at the front of your thoughts, you'll put all these people in shock and distress if their actions lead up to your death. Remember Uthgerd? Something like that. If they can even muster care for you at all, of course.