A Chipmunk in the Birdfeeder

by Moira Colleen

A parody of songs from A Fiddler on the Roof, for the animals in my yard. I saw a chipmunk climb the pole into one of our birdfeeders yesterday, and this just sort of happened. Our current chipmunks don't have names, so we'll just call our narrator "Tevye" and be done with it, but Davey and Dizzy were two real chipmunks who lived here years ago.

4. Birdfeeder, Birdfeeder

[YOUNG CHIPMUNK 1]
Birdfeeder, birdfeeder, fill me with seed
give me the strength I'm going to need
birdfeeder, birdfeeder, what must I do
to get a good meal from you?

[YOUNG CHIPMUNK 2]
Birdfeeder, birdfeeder, I hear your call
I don't care how high I must climb; I won't fall
birdfeeder, birdfeeder, you've been my goal
since I was just two weeks old

[YOUNG CHIPMUNK 1]
The food mom brings is so boring

[YOUNG CHIPMUNK 2]
So bland, and we just want a treat

[BOTH]
We're hungry and want something filling
we both just want something that's different to eat

We've heard of berries and cherries and such
we don't think we're asking too much
all that we want is to try something new
so we're going to climb up to you

[YOUNG CHIPMUNK 1]
I never realized you were practising climbing.

[YOUNG CHIPMUNK 2]
Well sure! I'm almost six weeks old; it's time for me to start making my way in the world. But I don't want just any food. I want food that's delicious.

[YOUNG CHIPMUNK 1]
Of course. Don't we all?

[YOUNG CHIPMUNK 2]
Sister, dear sister, the food that I want to get
is tasty, delicious
it'll fill me up and yet
it's still a good food, a safe food
Right? You bet!

I'm willing to make an effort
to climb the pole and see
if there's a better meal there
that's good for me

[YOUNG CHIPMUNK 1]
Sister, dear sister, it's dangerous out there
crows, my dear, are vicious
no matter when or where
there is no good food that's safe food
It's true

And then there are woodpeckers
whose beaks are sharp like steel
you must take great precautions
when you have a meal

[YOUNG CHIPMUNK 2]
Well, I think I'll get a drink

[YOUNG CHIPMUNK 1]
Yes, I'll join you when I can

[BOTH]
With no peanuts or sunflower seeds on the wall
be glad you've got a plan

[YOUNG CHIPMUNK 2]
Birdfeeder, birdfeeder, you are so high
at least six feet, but I'm going to try

[YOUNG CHIPMUNK 1]
Birdfeeder, birdfeeder, upward I go
there's no one to tell me 'no'

[BOTH]
Your bounty is so amazing
so varied, not just sunflower seed
but nuts, fruits, perfect for grazing
in fact, you've got everything we could need

Birdfeeder, birdfeeder, now that we're here
we'll never leave, we feel no fear

[YOUNG CHIPMUNK 2]
What if a bird comes?

[YOUNG CHIPMUNK 1]
Just slap him, my dear

[BOTH]
We'll bare our incisors and he'll disappear

So let's settle in, time to begin
we need a treat, let's start to eat
it's time for a grown-up meal