Dear B,
I will never get tired of waking up next to you. You are the most beautiful person in the world, and I can't believe that you're mine. The last week here in Lesbos has been perfect. We've explored the town pretty well, we have our favorite restaurant and favorite spot on the beach. You've always known that I'm a romantic, but I think our long walks on the beach at sunset, and fancy candlelight dinners, and hiding in tucked away sea caverns proves it. And if it doesn't, the amount of sex we're having definitely does.
People say one of the most stunning things here is how crystal blue the water is, but gets dulled for me everyday because the first thing I see everyday are your eyes, which are the brightest blue I've ever seen them.
It's a shame that we're leaving Greece soon, but then we're gonna go do essentially the same thing in a different time zone and on a different beach. But it doesn't really matter where we go, I just love being around you like this. Just being together. Our days are lazy and sometimes we can go without talking for hours, just being at peace. But I have noticed, not that it's a new thing, that I can't not be around you for as much as 5 minutes without feeling the need to be touching you. Not even in like a sexy way, even though everything you do is sexy, but just in a "you anchor me" way. Like a "I can't believe you're real and I can't believe you love me" way.
Another thing I love is falling asleep next to you. You make me feel so loved, so protected. Whether we have sex or not, being in bed with you is magical. I love the way your arms feel around me, how our legs tangle together, how my head rests under your chin. I'm pretty sure I was made to fit perfectly with you. I love talking with you about everything and nothing all at once. I love getting to know you as if I haven't spent my whole life with you.
So, in conclusion, I love waking up to you, spending every moment I'm awake with you, and falling asleep next to you. In other words, I love you, and I can't wait for that to be for the rest of my life.
With love, San
XXX
Dear Britt,
Lesbos was great and Hawaii is also great, even though we've only been here a few days. The beaches are amazing and the weather is fantastic. And of course, you look fucking stunning as always, but especially in a bikini. Dancing has done you good. Fucking washboard abs. Toned legs. Perfect body spotted completely in freckles. And I love every part of it.
We're going snorkeling tomorrow because I know that's something you've always wanted to do. Honestly, I'm a little nervous because I don't really love water and fish in general, but you were so excited when you saw the snorkel shop, and I don't think I'm capable of saying no to you. You also told me that I would look hot on a surfboard, so guess what I got us lessons for? But I swear if you make fun of me because I'm going to look so dumb, I will top you. I hate that that's the most threatening thing for you that I can come up with.
I hate that I have to wake you up now because you look so peaceful when you're sleeping. But this is not my fault because you told me to do it because, and I quote, "But San, midnight walks on the beach are romantic." I fall in love with you more and more every day.
With love, S
XXX
Dear Britt,
Just as I was finally forgetting about all the problems coming out of New York, leave it to Berry to ruin our months long escape from the Hobbit and the rest of them. Even thousands of miles away, I could hear her complaining about something. I guess the rest of them were just so jealous of how awesome we are that they had to take us away from our peace and quiet.
I asked you if you wanted to stay here until what would have been the actual end to our trip, but you said you never wanted to leave me again, which, fair, but I don't want you to feel tethered to me, no matter how true that is. I can't believe that Berry and the gang actually bought that bullshit story about you getting stuck in Greece or whatever as if I'd leave you alone in Europe. You should be thankful that none of them knew that you were actually staying with one of your other friends from MIT who's living in the city, because if they knew that you were here, you'd get roped into this, too, and I know you can't stand them all.
I'm sorry that I had to go, but I'll meet you in Reno. I wish I could have been there when you showed up at the loft, but I had to go film that dumb commercial because we need money somehow, and as much as I wanted to get on to Mercedes's record, I couldn't take that from her. I can't believe that I was staying with Berry this whole time when I could have stayed with an actual friend who cares about me besides for what I can do for them. I mean, me going out on Broadway as Fanny after not even looking at that damn script for months? And for what? I know Rachel, and her giving up her dream role on Broadway for a failure of a TV show makes no sense, but then again, she doesn't make any sense at all. Either way, I crushed it, and Berry owes me big time.
You know, I did like being her publicist, though. I was really good at it, but I don't know if I could see me doing that forever. I still liked singing with Cedes in a New York basement better. But better than a basement will be every major mall in America, right? I'm so excited for that. Touring the country with one of my closest friends and my girl is gonna be great.
With love, San
XXX
Dear B,
One show down, so many more to go. It was amazing to be out there performing with you two, but I think that I am out of practice. No matter, I missed you so much. It's pathetic, it was only like a week since we last saw each other, but it felt like forever. I wish I would have been able to have been there for the first few performances, but even starting now, I'm just really happy to be here. Cedes said we'd be doing this Mall Tour Across America for a couple months at most, you started in California, and we'll head all the way across the country to New York. Full summer. If this were anyone else, I'd be so jealous, but I know Mercedes deserves this, she worked really hard for it, and I think if anyone, she's gonna make it big.
But before she makes it big, she's gonna have to spend a few months with us first. We'll keep her humble because she's either always gonna have to get two rooms or learn how to sleep with earplugs.
I should get some sleep now, I know we're on the road again in the morning. I think we're going to Phoenix and we have a couple shows around there. It's not super hard to book mall gigs when you have the connections Mercedes has. I'm hoping that this will give me some exposure, because I've been thinking that I might want to go into the art and entertainment industry. Of course, I do think I want to graduate college first. But before all that, we're going to crush this summer and have so much fun doing it.
With love, San
XXX
Dear Britt,
We're over half done with the Mall Tour Across America with Brittancedes. It's been great so far. We just were in Chicago and I haven't been there in so long. Or any big city really. I missed it. I realized I really like being in big cities, and you do too, so that's good.
But there's something more important that I realized there. We both know that we're going to get married and spend the rest of our lives together, but I realized that I want to get married to you. If that makes sense. It wasn't anything big. We had some time just for ourselves, Mercedes was in a meeting with her manager and label, or something. I don't know, it was important and good for her, but I was more focused on you. Anyway, we did a tourist day in Chicago. It reminded me of Nationals during senior year. It's crazy to think that was only two years ago, but it feels like so much has happened since then. Anyway, we were walking in Millennium Park after going to the Shedd Aquarium. We saw the sharks and penguins and dolphins, of course.
But in the park, there was a moment, and I know it sounds dramatic, but I think my life changed. We were in the park and we went out and saw the lake and the city lights on the water. It was just us. You looked over at me and you just smiled. I couldn't help but smile back.
I don't want to wait any longer. I want to marry you. It's something we've talked about before, getting married. It always seemed like something that was so far away in the future, but today, I wanted nothing more than to be your wife. Now. I know we're only nineteen, and most people would never even think about getting married that young, but most people aren't us. I would have proposed right there, but you deserve better than that. I didn't even have your ring. Don't get me wrong, I have a ring for you, it just didn't feel like the moment.
But your ring? It's perfect. It's diamond, your birthstone, and it looks blue, which I know is your most favorite color and it's got an engraving on the inside. I love you, I love you, I love you. Predictable, I know, but I mean it and "Songbird" is our song. Well, one of our songs. You asked me a while ago what I did with the money my mom gave me when I graduated. Well, that's what I did with at least part of it. But, I got it in a jewelry store in New York after we came back from Hawaii during one of the few times we weren't with each other. I don't know, it didn't feel real then, like I know it's a ring for you, but before today, it just felt like a ring. Now it feels real, as in, I'm going to ask you to marry me with it.
I, Santana Lopez, am going to ask you, Brittany Pierce, to marry me.
I hope you say yes. I've been carrying this ring around since I bought it, just waiting for the right moment. But of course, the one time I don't have it. I'm glad I didn't have it though, because I know I would have gotten down on one knee right there. And I know that you'd say it doesn't matter when or how I propose, but I'd like to be selfish and have at least one picture of us for our memories. And the only one who knows I bought you a ring is Quinn and she's in New Haven. I called her right after I bought it because I freaked out and she confirmed that it was real and all she asked that she gets to be at least one of the Maids of Honor since there's technically two.
I'm just remembering when we first met. If only a five year old Santana and Britt could see us now. Somehow, I think I knew, even at five, that the blonde girl with bright blue eyes was going to be in my life for a long time. The thirteen years we've known each other seems like nothing when we have until infinity in front of us.
With love, San
XXX
Dear B,
We did our last show yesterday. From California to New York we did more performances than I can count all in the span of 2 months. And I loved every second of it, but I am exhausted. I just want to go home now and just sleep forever. I think we're still staying at Mercedes's place in the city until we get everything sorted out, but I know she's going to be back and forth between here and LA.
My mom sent us a stack of envelopes that we opened today during dinner. The admissions decisions from our college applications. I completely forgot about them until know. Do you remember how stressed we were when we sent them? You know I applied to NYU, Columbia, Fordham, Rochester, and a couple other smaller liberal arts schools. And I got in to every school except Columbia, but I knew that one would be a stretch. I know why I got into those schools. It's because I'm a minority, have divorced parents, and got outed as gay on statewide television and wrote a killer essay about it. Whatever works, right?
But you! You're a genius, you got into every school you applied to, including Columbia and Cornell. You got in because you're a math wizard and the public school system failed you but you overcame all that. You were telling me that MIT and Harvard and Columbia all contacted you together and they want to support your math research or something. That's so cool. Like they wanted to give you some sort of master's type degree for math. And you'd be able to do that here in New York. I know you hated it at MIT, but now this is all about you and at your own pace. I think this is a great opportunity that will be tailored to you specifically, and you should think about taking it. If you hate it, you can always drop out. Plus, they never do anything like this for anyone, and they'd pay for the research and even for some of the costs of housing and transportation. We could get our own place. It doesn't really matter though because it's your decision in the end.
I think I want to go to NYU. They have a really cool program for Communication and Rhetoric, which I think I want to study. I like writing, what can I say? And the good thing is, of all the schools you got in to, you also want to go to NYU. You were researching all about their Film/Video Production to help you get Fondue for Two really off the ground, but I know you were also looking at Business Management for that dance studio you always wanted to open. I know you could do both if you wanted to, but I don't think the world's ready for that.
Something I didn't know that I really missed was being in school with you. That had been so much of our lives, and I took that for granted. Not being in classes with you was weird, but next year, it's gonna be great.
Tomorrow we're gonna start apartment shopping. We definitely want to stay in the city, and I think we're gonna stay close to Manhattan. We're gonna get out own place. It's probably going to be expensive, but between the money from my family and your money from Columbia and my Yeast-I-Stat money, we'll be able to make it. Plus, I have an interview tomorrow with a recording label for a paid internship. I think I'm gonna get the job and that will give me a foot in the door for things later on hopefully.
We're growing up, Britt. It's our world now.
With love, San
XXX
Dear Britt,
For all the complaining and whining Berry and Kurt were doing last year, you'd think it be impossible to find a place in the city that two college kids can afford. Maybe it is and we're just incredibly lucky or the universe is finally paying us back for everything it has put us through. But seriously, I think we found our home. It's in a nice neighborhood and not miles from campus and it seems like there's good neighbors and there's some really good restaurants down the street and we can afford it with all the savings we have and your math grant and I think we got really, really lucky. Just writing it makes it sound too good to be true. Well, the only downside is that we can't move in for a another couple weeks because of something. So, we'll stay with Mercedes until then. Hopefully, we'll be moved in before classes start.
Can you believe that we're actually students at NYU? That's incredible to me. We got our classes a few days ago, and we have a couple together. I'm actually excited to go to school again. I'm gonna take classes I actually am interested in and be around people who actually like the real me and be able to tell the whole world that I love you. The differences from high school are astounding.
Oh, guess what? Today I heard back from my internship interview. I got the job! It's just an intern job, but hopefully it gets me started in the industry. The record label said one of the reasons I got the job was because I showed them some of my writing. It's a secret, but I'm beginning to write songs again. I don't know if anything can top "Trouty Mouth," but it's worth a try.
With love, San
XXX
Dear Britt,
It's our last weekend before classes start. We moved into our place last weekend, we definitely made sure to christen every room. Mercedes is probably grateful we're out of her space, but just being around you, and only you, has felt so good. I don't miss getting walked in on or sharing a bathroom with Berry or a bedroom "wall" with Kurt or eating all of Berry's vegan crap or wearing pants. I definitely don't miss wearing pants.
We had an actual serious conversation yesterday, as mature grown women do. And you asked me if I actually wanted to be married to you. Oh, Britt, of course, I just always thought that that was something we were gonna do one day. Christ, I have a ring for you. I want to be married to you, no doubt. And I told you that, well not the ring part because that's a surprise, and you smiled that adorable smile you only give me. God, you were so nervous asking me that, and why? I've been dreaming about my wedding since I was a child, before I realized I was in love with you, and now all I can see is me meeting you at the end of the aisle.
Our wedding is gonna be perfect. Soon that will be literally all I will be able to think about. It'll be small, only our close friends and my mom and your family. It'll be a grand party and we're gonna be so happy. I almost did it again, ask you to marry me right there, but I didn't because I have a tiny bit of self control.
I love you.
With love, S
XXX
Dear Britt,
I'm sorry.
I just need to say that before I say anything else.
We had our first real, full-blown fight, and I didn't like it. I don't even remember what we were fighting about. Something dumb, probably. But it definitely isn't worth losing you over. I'm writing this on the fire escape and I can faintly hear you on the roof from here. I just don't think either of us can be in the apartment right now. We just both need to cool down. I need to make sure I don't say something that I'll regret. I can't lose you. And I definitely don't want it to be over something I did or something as trivial as whatever we can't remember what we're fighting over.
Honestly, I'm surprised it took this long for us to get to a main-scale fight. With the yelling and breaking things. I was scared. I know you were, too. Physically, I know I would never hurt you, and you wouldn't hurt me. But, I was still scared. I didn't like it at all. I know some fighting has to be healthy.
Barring a few glaring exceptions, like getting outed, our relationship has been a dream, and I am so thankful for that. I love you. And that's the important part. I'll never forget that.
Okay. I'm calmer now. I'm gonna go apologize in person now, although it was helpful talking here first.
With love, S
PS: The makeup sex was good, but I'd rather not have to fight with you to get there. Next time how about we skip the fighting and go straight for the sex?
XXX
Dear Britt,
College is so much better than I ever thought it could be. I'm actually happy. I'm doing well with my classes and we've made some friends. I mean it only tracks that like all of them are gay, but they're cool. After a couple weeks, you finally roped me into going to the LGBT group meetings, and I have to admit, I liked being there and I really think it's good for me. So thank you. That's also where we met some of our new friends. It feels really good to have more gay friends than just Blaine Warbler and Kurt. We'll have to have them over for dinner sometime, you know, since we have our own apartment. Our new friends that is, not Kurt and his weasel boyfriend who I don't think is still his boyfriend, I've lost track of their relationship. But back to our sphere of domesticity, I actually like these people and I want them to like me, even if that includes inviting them to my home and feeding them. But in no circumstance would I ever trust Pete near my kitchen. Or any of them for that matter. Well, none of them except Kenzie. She actually can cook. But we might have to do that after we come back from Lima. Because, you know, they need us to come back again.
I get it, it's Homecoming, but also Gay and Gayer need our help getting their new Glee club started. And god knows they need our help because I can't have any more Berrys running around that dumb school and you know that if I wasn't there Berry would find some reason to slander my reputation. Technically I think she and I are still in a feud, but frankly I do not care and I know I live in her mind rent free, but the sentiment is not mutual.
I have more important things on my mind. Like asking you to marry me. I think that the moment is going to come in the choir room. It's where I really fell in love with you and that's where a lot of our important memories were. But I will not jinx myself, so I can't think too hard about it.
With love, San
XXX
Dear Britt,
I can't believe you. We really are on the same wavelength. But I can't even be mad because I can't stop smiling. God damn. We're gonna be married. Holy shit. I'm your fiancée. Holy fuck. I'm gonna get to be your wife.
How is it possible that we really planned to propose on the same day? I would say I won because I did it first, but I won because I get to marry you.
We'll talk about my proposal first. That's fine. I called your parents and my mom and I told them I was going to ask you to marry me. They all told me they blessed the marriage, but I couldn't bring myself to ask for the blessing because I couldn't take a chance on a rejection, even though I know that they would never say no. I think they've known we were going to get married long before we did, and I've wanted to marry you since forever. But I knew I was going to ask you after that little conversation we had in your bedroom. Everything just seemed right. Being in Lima, in Glee club again. So I knew what we had to do. We did a fucking amazing number, much better than anyone else in that room could have done. Getting down on one knee in front of you was the most nerve-wracking thing I've ever done. I had a whole speech ready, written down and everything, but kneeling in front of you, no words could ever be enough or everything I wanted to say. You make me speechless, what can I say. I'm sure those words will get worked into my vows anyway. It's nothing you don't already know, but you deserve to hear it all.
To be honest, I'm not really surprised that you also proposed to me. It just didn't really cross my mind. But that was a stunning proposal if I've ever seen one. I don't know how you got the janitor to give you his keys to the school roof, maybe it was his final gift after every time he's walked in on us in one of his closets. One thing I have missed since being in the city is the stars. All the city lights block out the stars, but not here. A fact about both of us is that we are both astrology hoes. You brought me up to the roof and underneath the Lima night sky told me that there is an infinite number of starts in an infinite amount of space. And you told me that you'd stop loving me after I'd counted every star. Twice. And then you got down on one knee, and you gave the most amazing speech. All the words that mean so much, just for us. No one else was there, and no one else needed to be. And you laughed saying that you knew I wouldn't want to pass up some bling and you knew I already asked you, but you had a whole thing planned and didn't want it to go to waste. And I'm glad you didn't because I got to answer a question I've been waiting my entire life for.
Yes, Brittany S Pierce, I will marry you.
I am so in love with you and I will love you until infinity.
With all my love, San x
XXX
Dear B,
This morning was one of the few times that I've been awake before you. And honestly, I get it, it's still creepy, but I could watch you sleep for the rest of my life. And now I get to. Fiancée. Engaged-to-be-married. My bride-to-be.
We've been in Lima for the weekend. We go back home to New York tonight. We are still full-time college students after all. But just being here away from everything reminds me of that summer before senior year when it was just us and our little bubble. That feels like forever ago, but really it was only like two years ago. That's crazy. Look how fast everything changed. During that time, I didn't even know if we were actually dating, and now we're gonna get married.
You know, we talked about it, and we kind of want to get married as soon as possible because even though it's not legal in every state, gay marriage is legal in some, and we should get married before it gets taken away everywhere. It's not ideal, but I promise you that we'll have another ceremony or something when gay marriage is legalized across the whole country. And that one will be everything you could ever dream of. Not that the first time won't be perfect, but if I get to marry you twice at our perfect weddings, that's fine with me.
We should get on that. Marriage planning that is. But I mean, it can wait for another weekend or so, right? "Planning a wedding's not stressful at all," she said sarcastically. It's fine, that's what wedding planners are for. Right now I just want to spend all my time with you and not worry about anything else. As it should be.
With love, San
XXX
Dear Britt Britt,
You know how much I love Artie, and it's definitely not because of him that I pushed myself back into the closet so much further than I started, and that is why I'm definitely taking no joy in watching him plan our wedding which is happening in like two weeks. Definitely no fun at all. Despite my feelings about him, he is technically an aspiring director, so he does have some taste. Plus, I know that getting married in the barn you were born in in Indiana is not your dream, so like I said before, I promise when gay marriage is legalized nationwide we will have our actual dream ceremony. But I do know this is fun for you because you like watching the Glee kids work for you. And you deserve it, especially since they never saw who you really were.
Speaking of, don't act so surprised, I know where you get it from. Your parents are hilarious. And you dad is such a dad. "Who's Santana?" Like he hasn't known me my entire life. Like he hasn't been my father-figure for over a decade. And your mom? You told me that she actually tried to pass Stephen Hawking off as your biological father. You don't his genes to be a genius. You know that, right? Of course you do. And we both know a little too well that biological family means nothing.
Speaking of: my Abuela. I love you and I love that you'd go to any lengths to get her to come to our wedding. But you're right, she's an old lady stuck in her outdated ways. I meant what I said to her, you're my family now. And I choose you over everybody. Every time. Never forget that.
I can't wait to marry you. Not that it really changes much anyway. We already live together, share finances, and spend the majority of our time together. Yet, that ring means so much. I can't wait for the next step in our lives. Soon. So soon.
With love, Tana
XXX
Dear Britt,
Or should I say Mrs. Brittany Susan Lopez-Pierce. Wifey.
You really are the most amazing woman in the world. What did I do to deserve you?
We had wedding that was planned in approximately 14 days, and yet it was amazing. Don't pretend like you actually cared whether Kurt and Blaine Warbler got married or not. I didn't really think that ever spend this much time thinking about Kurt and his shorter-than-average lawn gnome, especially on my wedding day and the morning after, but here we are. You're not superstitious, only a little stitious, but it is genius passing any bad luck that we had (none) onto those two, though. I give their marriage like 3 years tops. Okay, that's enough Klaine for the next year. Back to you.
But because of them, I didn't get to say the vows I worked so hard to write, so I'll write them here. I've just now decided that these will be the vows I read to you when we have our second ceremony when gay marriage is legalized across America. Ok, I'll stop talking now, but here we go.
Britt, I love you. I love you more than everything. I promise you for the rest of my life, I will love you. I can't promise anything for certain in life, but I can promise you that. I've loved you since the first day I met you. I still remember it like it was yesterday. Five years old, first day of kindergarten, and I laid eyes on the love of my life for the first time, it just took a while to realize it. We've been through so much since that day. There's been good days and rough days, but because of you, there's been no bad days. We have so many more days in front of us, and I promise to be by your side to face every one of them. You deserve the world, the stars, and the skies, and I could say every word, and it still wouldn't be enough. I could stand up here for 14 years recounting every story for you, but I don't need to because you were there for all of them. You know me better than I know myself. Because before everything, you're my best friend. I could tell you everything if I wanted to, but I don't have to, because you already know. You know how I've struggled, how I've been broken, how I've failed, but I would do it all again if it meant I ended up standing here after it all. To you, I vow to still be sleeping every morning when you wake up, and to be next to you every night when you fall asleep. I vow to never be in the kitchen when you're cooking so I won't ruin our meals or "your kitchen." I vow to never miss an episode of Fondue for Two. I vow to love any and all of our cats, and that includes Lord Tubbington, even when he destroys my very fancy shoes. I vow to dance with you in the middle of the night. I vow to scream Taylor songs at the top of our lungs during every car ride. I vow to love you unconditionally. For you, Britt, I would give everything. You are the best thing that's ever been mine.
With love, yours always and forever until infinity, and so proudly so, San