Twilight must keep her wits about her in this lawsuit.
Chapter Text
A/N: What Would Twilight Do?
Chapter 7: Court
(Courthouse.)
Twilight is wearing a Hannibal Lector mask as she is cuffed to her stand, she is protected by bulletproof glass in case someone tries to kill her.
"RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE! RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!" Cried the angry relatives.
"ORDER!" Demanded the Judge who happened to be Discord.
Trixie and Celestia represented Twilight Sparkle.
Principal Abacus Cinch represented Twilight's slain friends.
"Crap not her." Thought Celestia.
"Mommy who's that Bond Villain looking Lady over there?" Asked Twilight.
"She's Principal Cinch, the most influential person in town and she doesn't like us." Said Celestia.
"Ok but why doesn't she like us?" Asked Twilight.
"Because she wanted to adopt you as her protégé but I beat her to it. Since then she has never forgiven me." Explained Celestia.
"Well well well if it isn't Celestia and Twilight. Had I adopted the latter then she wouldn't be in this situation." Smirked Cinch.
"Hey leave my Mommy alone! If you want a kid so bad, why not have a guy put his PeePee in you? Isn't that how it works?" Asked Twilight.
The angry Cinch blushed and crossed her legs.
"Why you perverted little….look at what you caused Celestia!" Said Cinch.
"I didn't cause anything, she was born this way. The only thing I caused was giving her a happy life!" Said Celestia.
"She had so much potential wasted! I would've given her the best upbringing!" Said Cinch.
"Nah! You would still have to change my dirty adult diapers!" Said Twilight.
"ORDER! Can the ladies please save the bitchfighting for later? There's families that need justice to be served!" Said Discord.
Just then Joss Wheadon shows up.
"DID YOU JUST DESCRIBE THOSE WOMEN AS LADIES?! AND THEIR DEBATE AS BITCHING?!" Reeee'ed The Male Feminist Director.
"And did you abuse Gal Goddat?" Asked Discord.
"Welp, I walked right into that one." Joss Wheadon mopes away.
"Male Feminists and their neutered brains." Muttered Discord.
"You're Honor, earlier today Twilight Sparkle killed her friends, it's only best that she be found guilty." Said Cinch.
"I object! You cannot send Twilight to prison because…...she is Celestia's baby." Said Trixie.
"WHAT ABOUT OUR BABIES?!" Roared the relatives of the deceased.
"Sorry, the Great and Powerful Trixie is a shitty and sucky attorney." Admitted Trixie.
Bags of evidence are placed on a table from Twilight's visits.
"Huh Why didn't Sunset eat her Tendie I left for her?" Asked Twilight.
"Because She is dead and that Tendie is evidence." Answered Cinch.
"Can I please eat it?" Asked Twilight.
"Then it wouldn't be evidence, you silly girl." Said Cinch.
"Fucking asshole." Said Twilight.
"So Twilight, Care to explain what happened?" Asked Cinch.
"Well, I gave Rarity what I thought was her speaker but it was a toaster shocking her naked body, Accidentally harvested AppleJack after she said n*gger, Rainbow Dash getting sick from the rat repellent drink when she went to get more lesbian porn, threw Fluttershy into the pit so she could play with her hairy puppies including the smaller one, Sunset Burned and cut after trying to feed her some Tendies soup, and getting a Chocolate Pinkie Pie that tastes like blood." Explained Twilight.
The court is disturbed.
"Anyhow, Twilight, do you know the severity of your actions?" Asked Discord.
"Uuuuuuuuhhhhhh….(She pictures a shape getting put in the wrong hole.) I'm trying to." Said Twilight.
"So you don't then." Said Cinch.
"Hey I Said I was trying to." Said Twilight.
"Well apparently you didn't try hard enough." Said Cinch.
"Hey What's with the unnecessary Ballbusting? I don't even have balls cuz I'm a girl!" Said Twilight.
Cinch gets pissed but calms down.
"I rest my case." Said Cinch.
"What? That you're trying to ballbust my ass? Did you flunk sex Ed?" Asked Twilight.
"Excuse me?" Asked a dumbfounded Cinch.
"I asked "Did you flunk Sex Ed?!" I had to repeat sex Ed about these many times but even I eventually passed, but why not you?" She held up 6 fingers indicating the number of times she flunked before passing, since Celestia had to give Twilight homeschool Sex Ed, and no they didn't have sex with each other.
Cinch was about to flip her shit and grabbed a nearby ruler.
"I'm gonna bruise your knuckles…." Threatened Cinch.
"Leave her alone!" Said Celestia.
"Cinch Bitch wants to throw down?!" Asked Twilight as she got into the Notre Dame leprechaun mascot boxing fight stance.
Discord slams the gaffle.
"I SAID ORDER!" Said Discord.
"Has the jury reached a verdict?" Asked Cinch.
"Yes: Seeing that Twilight has killed so many friends in a short yet diabolical manner, we find her Guilty." Said the Jury.
"GUILTY?!" Said Celestia.
"Oh no!" Said Trixie.
"GUILTY?! I CALL BULLFUCK!" Said Twilight.
"I hereby sentence Twilight Sparkle to be institutionalized for life with no chance for parole." The gaffle breaks.
Twilight is found guilty. he families cheer, Celestia sobs, Trixie feels like shit and Twilight still thinks her sentence is bull fuck.
(Backstage)
Celestia is reading Twilight, her favorite book, before she is scheduled to be institutionalized.
"Banzai!" Said The Japanese tank commander from his Ha-Go light tank as he led a banzai charge at the American line, 37 mm rounds bouncing off the Sherman's armor. Only for the Sherman's 75 mm to fire and strike the Japanese tank, setting it ablaze and blowing the turret off, killing the commander and his crew."
"My favorite story and...Mommy? Why are you crying?" Asked Twilight.
"Baby I've failed!" Cried Celestia.
"Failed at what Mommy? I'm still alive though and….where am I going?" Asked Twilight.
"Baby, you're going to live in a new place with bars for protection." Said Celestia.
Brief silence.
"...But I don't wanna go away…..I…..I wanna live with you Mommy." Said Twilight looking confused.
"I know Baby….me too….but don't worry, Mommy will visit you everyday, I promise." Celestia sniffles, then hugs Twilight and caresses her hair.
"Yeeeeeah about that…." Said Cinch.
"About what?" Asked Celestia, still hugging Twilight.
"Well the jury has re-looked the case and decided that Twilight is too dangerous. So, it's off to the chamber." Laughed Cinch.
"The Chamber?!" Asked Celestia.
"NO! NOT THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS! THERE'S A BIG SCARY VENOMOUS SNAKE IN THERE WHOSE GAZE CAN TURN PEOPLE INTO STONE!" Said Twilight.
Having never read or seen any Harry Potter, Cinch had absolutely no idea what the fuck Twilight had just rambled about.
"...No, Twilight you are going to be gassed to death." Said Cinch.
"GASSED?!" Asked Twilight.
"YOU CAN'T GAS TWILIGHT! SHE'S CLAUSTROPHOBIC!" Explained Celestia.
"Well it's either that, lethal injection, hanging or firing squad." Smiled Cinch.
"BUT SHE'S ONLY A CHILD!" Celestia clenched Twilight closer.
"An 18 year old child." Cinch pointed out.
"How is she a threat?!" Asked Celestia.
"She murdered her friends in what has been called The Equestria Massacre. Also what's to say she won't start a Revolution in the Asylum?" Asked Cinch.
"She would never start a revolution! Also she didn't mean to kill them!" Said Celestia.
"Still involuntary slaughter." Said Cinch.
"Look Kill me instead!" Demanded Celestia..
"What?" Asked a confused Cinch.
"I've raised Twilight since she was a baby. I should've had Luna handle the PTA's but I foolishly let Twilight go to her friends without my supervision. If anyone is to be executed it's me but please, let her go!" Begged Celestia.
"If anything, your punishment should be living in a world without your daughter!" Said Cinch.
"I can't! I'd rather die! Please, I'll do anything!" Begged Celestia.
"Sorry but you don't have enough reputation. I on the other hand….." Cinch ordered her bodyguards to rip Twilight away from Celestia's arms, then hold both Celestia and Twilight down.
"Twilight!" Said Celestia.
"Hey what gives?!" Said Twilight.
Cinch struts over to Twilight.
"So, have you ever been kissed?" Asked Cinch.
"Well my Mommy kisses my forehead, cheek and my boo-boos but I've never had a kiss on the lips….."
Cinch pulled Twilight in for a kiss which Cinch enjoyed but not Twilight.
"What are you doing?! GET YOUR FILTHY MOUTH OFF OF HER!" Celestia struggled against the guards.
Cinch then grabbed Twilight's breast.
"YOU SICK MONSTER! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Roared Celestia.
"MPHM…..STRANGER!...MPHMP…..DANGER!...MPHMP…...I'M NOT…...MPHMP...GAY!" Said Twilight inbetween kiss breaks.
"LET ME AT HER!" Cried Celestia.
The perverted Cinch only kissed deeper.
Cinch breaks the kiss.
"Ew why you do that?!" Asked a scared Twilight.
"You thought your first kiss would be from your true love but it was me! PRINCIPAL CINCH!"
The Normie Cinch couldn't meme to save her life.
"...Did you just butcher Dio's meme?" Asked Twilight Sparkle.
"Yeah whatever, now to have some fun before they gas you." Cinch French kisses Twilight.
As Cinch resumed trying to violate Twilight against her and Celestia's protests, Cinch was only moaning when she opened her eyes, released Twilight and screamed.
"AAAAAAAH!" Screamed Cinch, clenching her tongue.
Twilight had bitten Cinch's tongue, and spat out the blood.
"Ptooey! Lady you got Veggie Tendies in your breath!" Gagged Twilight.
"Little shit!" Barked Cinch.
"You tried to violate my baby!" Said Celestia.
"I have a high reputation and I can do whatever I want!" Said Cinch.
Celestia responds with, "People like you should never be in power…."
Cinch slaps Celestia across her face.
"MOMMY!" Said Twilight.
"And to improve the human race, retards like Twilight should've been aborted!" Laughed Cinch.
"You Fucking Nazi!" Roared Celestia.
Cinch then spat on Celestia's sore cheek.
While the guards held her arms, an enraged Celestia noticed her feet were still free so she drove her free foot straight into Cinch's Vulnerable crotch, intending for a cunt bunt.
Only it wasn't a cunt.
Shocked, Cinch's eyes bulged, she fell to the floor, cradled in a fetal position with her hands between her legs, rocking back and forth crying.
"Huh? Mommy? I thought girls don't have Peepees and Nuts?" Asked a perplexed Twilight.
"We don't but…." Asked an equally perplexed Celestia.
"MY CROTCH!" Cried Cinch.
Trying to sit back up, Cinch pulled her panties down from under her dress, flung them aside, and spread her legs to inspect the damage of her bruised yet thankfully blurred out chode and a blurred out pair of sore testes. The testes were seen trying to retract towards her body, as if seeking protection, no homo.
To make things worse for Cinch, Celestia was wearing heels so the kick was even more painful for Cinch. The latter was hyperventilating, sweating, gritting her teeth and trying to regain her posture but the pain forced her back to the ground as if she were in labor.
And if that wasn't bad enough, since Cinch was trying to violate Twilight, blood started to flow to Cinch's shaft and her testes started to churn. But the kick disrupted her boner no homo, and caused even more agonizing discomfort. Her hair was unkempt, makeup a mess and glasses disheveled.
"I…...never would have thought she had a chode….. with a sissy sack." Said Celestia.
"MY PENIS AND TESTICLES ARE STILL FEMININE! OH IT FUCKING HURTS!" Wept Cinch.
"To be honest, the masculine jawline was a dead giveaway." Said Twilight.
"I DON'T CARE! AW GOD-FUCKING-DAMMIT ALL! FUCK YOU CELESTIA AND TWILIGHT! YOU FUCKING LITTLE ASSHOLES! IT'S GONNA TAKE ME A SOLID 15-20 MINUTES TO RECOVER!" Wailed Cinch, her voice kept getting higher and lower as she rolled again.
"If it hurts so bad, why not put some Tendies on it?" Asked Twilight.
"THAT'S NOT HOW TESTICULAR TRAUMA TREATMENT WORKS GOD-DAMMIT! BEFORE YOUR EXECUTION I WAS GOING TO RAPE YOU! BUT NOW I WON'T HAVE TIME! CELESTIA YOU COCK-BLOCKING BITCH!" Bawled Cinch.
"You vile….disgusting…...RAPIST!" Roared Celestia.
"EW! Keep your PeePee away from my GiGi!``said Twilight.
"ENOUGH! I AAAARG, NEED TO, MAINTAIN MY REPUTATION!" She Roared with watery eyes.
Celestia got an idea.
"If you don't execute me alongside Twilight, I'll tell everyone that you have a cock with balls!" Threatened Celestia.
"You…..wouldn't…...fucking…..DARE!" Snarled Cinch, trying to mask the fear in her voice.
"Try Me, JUST FUCKING TRY ME." Said a determined Celestia, she was like ALIENS' Ellen Ripely and Twilight Newt.
Not wanting to risk anything, Cinch motions her guards to include Celestia for Twilight's execution.
Celestia is then wearing all black, and has her final meal with Twilight, which was a Tendies Mukbang.
(Execution chamber.)
The families of the deceased chant for Twilight's and Celestia's deaths behind a bulletproof plexiglass, Luna and Trixie bid their farewells.
"GAS THEM! GAS THEM! GAS THEM!" Chanted the families.
The chamber door closes with Twilight and Celestia inside.
"Mommy I'm sorry for everything! Not because I got caught but for all the shit I caused!" Cried Twilight.
"Baby it's okay Mommy is here with you!" Said Celestia.
"I just want all the problems I caused to stop and go away! I WANT MY FRIENDS BACK!" She sobbed and buried her face into Celestia's big bosom.
"Shh there, there Twilight, We'll be with them soon!" Cried Celestia as she hugged back.
Cinch limped over to the lever and was about to pull it.
"I love this job." Said Cinch, smiling through the pain.
"WAIT!" Said a voice.
"Oh what now…..huh?" Asked Cinch.
Hovering above everyone in the room, a levitating transparent ghost Rarity dressed like a princess, accompanied by a Texas Ranger, AppleJack, Rainbow Dash making out with Gilda, Fluttershy with an Animal Harem, Sunset Shimmer with bigger than usual anime eyes with binocular vision and a reformed Pinkie Pie appeared.
"Hiya Everyone, We're ghosts! Uh, I mean friendly ghosts." Smiled Ghost Pinkie Pie.
A brief pause, then everyone starts screaming, panicking, clawing at the walls while trying to cover their mouths gasping.
"No! Please don't panic! There isn't a gas leak!" Said Ghost AppleJack.
A/N: The Calvary is here! Get it? Because a cavalry has horses and the Equestria Girls are ponies in human form! Lmao….ah whatever. Anyway, the case will be reopened. What will Twilight's ghostly friends say in court? Tune in for the next exciting episode of Twilight Loves Tendies!
Also Merry Christmas!