Chapter 19

My Brightest Star

~~Navy Yard, around the time in episode of Reunion, 2009~~

McGee stood in front of the copier, waiting for the machine to finish copying and collating all the data he'd been putting together for the last month prior to his trip out to Somalia, when he caught sight of Ziva walking down the hallway out of the corner of his eye. He turned to her and called out, "Hey, Ziva. How's things going?"

Ziva stopped mid-stride and looked at McGee, smiling. "Running around like a chicken with its head chopped off. Going here, going there, going all different places." Her hands mimed running around to different places in random fashion.

McGee chuckled. "I hear you," he said. He held up a sheaf of papers. "Been busy myself. Endless sheets of data to print out. Something that I've never really had the chance to get caught up with until now." An eyebrow flicked upward on his forehead as he smiled.

Ziva chuckled. "The never-ending stream of information that flows into this building." She shook her head and smiled at McGee, then tilted her head slightly and asked, "Have you seen Tony around?"

McGee shrugged and his head shook as he said, "Haven't seen him all day long since the first few minutes I got in. Barely even had time to say hi before he was off doing something. Vance must have him running around like you."

Ziva nodded and smiled. "That must be it. Meeting with the psychologist, with the doctors, the whole yard."

"Whole nine yards, you mean," McGee automatically corrected Ziva. "That would make sense, considering what you've been through."

"Are you okay, McGee?" Ziva asked him. "You were there, too."

McGee nodded. "Yup, got everything taken care of except for the psychologist. I'll be seeing her soon. Just waiting for her to call me in."

"That fast?" Ziva asked, a slightly puzzled look on her face.

"Better off doing than thinking, sometimes. Get things out of the way, off my head. The sooner I'm back on the job, the better." McGee shrugged. "You know how it is."

Just then, Ziva heard the sound of Tony talking with someone, and the other person replying back in a gruff voice. She turned to look in the direction where the sound came from, then back to McGee. "We better go back," Ziva said as she smiled at McGee.

'Yeah. We better. I'll be there in a few," McGee said as he reached down to retrieve the papers from the copying machine.

"I'll talk with Tony when I get the chance," Ziva said.

McGee nodded. "It might help him. He's not really been himself since we've been back. Even before we left, as well."

Ziva looked at McGee for a moment, eyebrows raised. "He hasn't? I'll see what I can find out from him," she said. "See you in a bit." She turned and walked away, leaving McGee to his copying. As she turned the corner in the hallway, she saw Tony walking into the bathroom and made a split-second decision. She thought to herself, "This might be my only chance to talk to him." She walked up to the bathroom door and slipped in quietly as Tony stood at the urinal, and locked the door behind her.

Tony heard the lock clicking, and he turned and looked sideways, catching sight of Ziva. "What are you doing here, Ziva?" Tony asked a bit gruffly, yet keeping his voice down low enough that only Ziva could hear him. He zipped his pants up and turned to walk to the sink.

Ziva walked up to and leaned onto the sink, looking at Tony. When he didn't immediately look at her, she leaned over so she could look more squarely in Tony's eyes. "Tony, are you alright?"

"Oh yeah, just peachy. Never mind the fact that they keep running me around in circles seeing people." Tony flung his hands up in the air.

"No, I'm asking about you. Not work, not what you're doing after work, you." Ziva gently prodded his chest with an index finger.

Tony sighed as he finished washing his hands and turned to the paper towel dispenser and took a couple sheets of paper towels to wipe his hands dry. "Well, ever since you decided to stay behind in Israel, I've been wondering about some things. And then finding you out there left me with more questions than answers."

Ziva pushed herself off the sink and turned to face Tony squarely in his eyes. She reached out and grabbed him by his arms. She had seen the look in his eyes; he was there but not totally back in the real world. "Tony, it's the same way with me. How you were able to find me. I don't totally understand it myself."

Tony reached up and scratched his head, his face grimacing with bewilderment. "Yeah, that's one of the questions that's been bugging me. How do I explain what I saw, how I felt?"

"You don't. Not to anyone. They wouldn't really believe you, anyway," Ziva replied simply. "This experience, only we share with each other."

"But -" Tony started.

Ziva put a finger on his lips. "No buts. We'll talk more about this later." She smiled at Tony, then stepped back to the door and unlocked it. "Keep that in mind for later. See you later, hopefully not too much later." She slipped out of the restroom, leaving Tony to ponder the last few words that Ziva said.

~~Going out after work~~

Tony sat in the booth of a small restaurant, looking out the window at the traffic passing by, his thoughts flowing randomly through his mind, thinking about what had transpired earlier in the day. He turned to look at Ziva and McGee sitting in the booth with him. "Well. Long day today. Feels good to be out of there after being run around all over the place."

McGee chuckled. "I hear you. I've been able to get most of what I needed out of the way. Was playing catch-up with some of the paperwork."

"Yeah, sure. You just want to avoid seeing that doctor, right?" Tony chuckled back at McGee. He reached down and grabbed his drink and took a sip of it. "Good thing this is not tea," he whispered to himself.

Ziva looked at Tony. "Are you okay?" She put a hand on his arm and looked more deeply in his eyes and saw... something that was in connection to tea. Her eyes questioned Tony. How much?

Tony blinked back at Ziva. His head shook ever so slightly. "Yeah, I'm cool. Just, trying to come to terms with some things."

McGee looked at Tony and Ziva. "Well, he's been kinda off and on the last couple of hours before we got here. Something about the paperwork." He shook his head. "Heard him muttering to himself over there at his desk when he was filling them out."

Tony scoffed. "What more do they want from me? They didn't accept my first draft of the paperwork. Too many questions. I dunno. Maybe that counselor will help." He shrugged as he looked at Ziva.

Ziva shook her head slightly. "It may take some time for it all to come out. I know that they're still investigating into things. Just let them do their jobs."

Tony shot a look at Ziva. "But how do I -"

Ziva cut him off slightly, putting a hand on his hand and squeezing it tight. "One day at a time." She understood what Tony was trying to drive at, and wanted to head him off at the pass because she knew that McGee would never understand what they had experienced together, prior to the rescue mission. "Just keep your explanation simple. Explain what can be explained. The details about how you were able to track the location down and find me should be sufficient."

McGee's face brightened. "Right, what he wanted at any cost. That was the only thing that led us directly to where we found you. His addiction to that drink."

Ziva smiled. "That's right. At that time, I thought to myself, whatever happens, happens. But, no, I didn't understand at first how you were able to find me in such a godforsaken location. I didn't stop to say thanks for taking the effort to find me. My father sure didn't."

Tony blinked at Ziva. "You mean, this whole thing was your father's idea? To send you out there to find those terrorists?"

Ziva nodded at Tony. "Yes. After Michael was killed, it was up to me to carry that mission out and try to take out the terrorist camp. My father set me up for the mission, knowing that it would be very likely a suicide mission."

McGee sat back, surprised. "Your own father did this?"

"What kind of father is he?" Tony muttered gruffly to Ziva. "Send you off to die on some silly mission that could have the potential for starting a war with Israel?"

Ziva put a hand on Tony's leg and squeezed gently, then caressed it, calming herself at his touch. "That's who he is. That man would stop at nothing to put Israel above the rest in the area. He is all but dead to me now."

Tony blinked at Ziva. "Wow, okay. So you want to come work for us? You really fit in perfect with the team, you know. Forget all these other female agents." He waved his hand in the air, shrugging them off.

Ziva smiled at Tony. "Well, it's up to Vance. But yes, I did what they asked me to do, and have started the process."

McGee raised an eyebrow. "An Israeli working for NCIS on a permanent basis? That'll be a great thing. Bringing your terrorist experience to the table."

Ziva flicked a finger in the air toward McGee. "That's the idea behind Vance's reasoning. Time will tell if I am to be accepted as an agent." She winked and smiled at McGee.

"As a very special agent, you mean," Tony put in. "Distinguishes yourself from the FBI folk, who just call themselves 'agents'. Or the CIA folk. Same thing. But you're always gonna be 'probie' to me."

Ziva chuckled and shook her head at Tony. "Oh, because of my ranking under you? Well, then maybe after some time I'll have someone to call probie."

"Yeah, maybe, someday down the road, I don't know." Tony chuckled. "At any rate, what's important is the job gets done the same, no matter what. All those other potential applicants, they do not last very long, I'm telling you. Regardless of what you may have been told, you're more irreplaceable than they want to admit."

Ziva smiled at Tony. "We shall see how things go. I do look forward to being part of the team – if they allow me to be a part of it."

McGee piped up. "I'm sure they'll accept you as part of the team. Chin up."

Just then, their meals came. Tony's eyes followed his food as the waitress set it down. "Oh, yes, some good food for a change. Been looking forward to a nice, big, greasy burger after that trip out there." He reached down and picked up his burger and muttered lovingly to it. "Come to papa. You sure look nice, juicy, delicious, mouth-watering."

Ziva looked at Tony, then prodded him. "You're babbling over there. Are you okay?" A small smile formed on her lips, yet small concern lines lined her forehead as she looked into Tony's eyes and saw that he was still not totally back to himself.

Tony looked up at Ziva and smiled and nodded his head. "Oh yeah, I'm just peachy. Just trying to forget that taste, is all." He held up his burger and took a huge bite out of it, and his face turned into that of pure bliss as he slowly chewed his burger, savoring the taste. "Tastes wonderful," he mumbled around his food.

"Taste?" McGee looked at Tony after his eyes had followed his food to the table. He reached down and picked up his burger. "What are you talking about? Thought their local food wasn't that bad." He shrugged his shoulders. "Still, it's not my favorite food. This is much better." He pointed to his burger then picked up a fry with his free hand.

Ziva understood what Tony had been talking about. She looked at him and told him with her eyes that they'll talk more about it later. She shifted her glance back to McGee and said, "I guess some people don't care for the taste of the local food. It's different for some." She put a hand on Tony's and squeezed gently.

Tony looked at Ziva and smiled at her. "Yeah, it could be that. Between the drink and their half-cooked... squirrel, or whatever it is that they serve on sticks out there, I couldn't decide."

McGee spit out his drink, laughing out loud. "What are you talking about, Tony? I haven't seen that."

"You weren't looking in the right place, then, McGeek. Haven't you been looking at the markets? Seeing what they sell? That wasn't fish on sticks, I'm pretty confident of that." Tony scoffed at McGee, then took another bite of his burger. He chewed a couple of times, then mumbled around his food. "Certainly not big juicy burgers like this!"

"Oh, would you prefer the drink over the mystery meat that you keep talking about in the markets?" Ziva asked Tony, a smile on her face. She wanted to get a rise out of him.

"What drink?" Tony asked Ziva, forgetting for a moment what she was really asking about. Suddenly, he remembered. "Oh, if you're talking about that drink, ugh!" He shuddered at the very memory of the vileness of the concoction he had drunk that night.

Ziva laughed at Tony. "Not something you care to repeat, right?"

"Don't remind me, I'm trying to eat here, okay?" Tony held up his burger. "I want to enjoy this meal before we head home and chill for the evening."

McGee looked at Ziva, then Tony. "What are you talking about?"

Tony looked at McGee and wanted to shout at him about the tea that he had drunk, but held his tongue, because he realized that McGee would never understand what he had experienced the moment he had gulped that tea down. He let out a sigh, then said to McGee, "There was this one guy in the markets that was making this utterly vile concoction. He called it 'coffee' but that sure did not taste like any coffee that I'd ever had." He knew he had lied to McGee about the tea, but he didn't want to reveal too much about his passing out and finding himself on the same plane and making the connection with Ziva. McGee would never understand any of it, after all. He was hard wired for data and numbers and code, and Tony knew it. "Something I learned over there is to never trust what their interpretation of 'coffee' is like. Tasted like old socks and battery acid and cobwebs over there. I wouldn't be surprised if they put in lacewing flies and eye of newt in there, it was so vile."

McGee laughed. "Well, maybe anything that has a strong smell, you might not want to touch after that." He raised his glass and held it up in the air. "A toast to us coming back."

Ziva lifted her glass up and clinked it on McGee's glass. "Hear, hear," she added.

Tony looked at the two briefly, then nodded as he picked up his glass and clinked it on theirs as well. "I'll toast to that."

~~Hilltop park overlooking the city~~

After Tony had driven with Ziva some distance away from the main hustle and bustle of the city up to a semi-isolated hilltop park, he spread out a blanket on a clearing on the hill with a nice view of the city skyline in the distance. "Ah, there we go," Tony said, letting out a sigh of satisfaction once he'd smoothed out the blanket on the clearing.

Ziva waited until Tony had finished putting the blanket down, then walked onto the edge and sat down on it. "Nice to be out in the open again, under the night sky," she said, tilting her head upward to look at the star-studded night sky.

Tony turned to look at Ziva as he sat down, her face shining in the pale moon light that bathed the location. "Get to relax for once, away from everything. Why I keep getting shunted from place to place today, I don't know."

Ziva reached out and put a hand on Tony's shoulder and squeezed it gently. "Wow, you're all wound up, Tony," she said, concern in her voice. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, why do you ask?" Tony replied. After a couple of seconds, he tilted his head, then said, "Well, for the most part."

Ziva sat up straighter and looked at Tony more fully. "For the most part? What do you mean?"

Tony grunted/sighed, then said, "It's not really been the same since you were left behind in Israel. Why'd you choose to stay, really?"

Ziva sighed, then swallowed the small lump in her throat that had formed. "It was really because of my father. He put me in an impossible position, because Michael had been killed. I had to finish the mission for him."

Tony let out a sigh. "So that mission we found you on, that was Michael's?"

"Yes, I thought I've told you before," Ziva said. "Back when -"

"No, my memory's still touch and go. Some of it feels like a dream, some of it's real enough. But they kinda feel... odd, like a rubber band stretched way too thin, you know?" Tony struggled to find the words to explain how he had been feeling. Especially from that potent brew he had drunk that night. "I can't really explain it."

Ziva stroked Tony's cheek and said, "Don't blame yourself for what my father did to me. To us. He set me up to fail, and for that I will not forgive him. He's dead to me."

Tony nodded. "Right. Your father, the head of Mossad. What kind of man would use his position to manipulate his family into doing his own bidding?" He shook his head, trying to come to terms with the concept. "Doesn't seem right to me," he muttered.

Ziva nodded. "That's why I've applied to work for NCIS. I'll do whatever it takes to be able to work and live here in this country."

Tony sat up and looked at Ziva. "That's awesome. But you know that's up to Vance. And maybe Gibbs as well. You talk to 'em yet?"

Ziva nodded and smiled. "I got the chance to talk to both. They're fine with having me on board the team."

Tony smiled back. "That's good to hear." He put a hand on Ziva's leg and caressed it a bit. "It's good to be with you again. Helps me feel, well, I guess more normal. Though I'm still not 100% myself."

That prompted Ziva's memory of an earlier conversation in the restaurant. "This vile beverage you were talking about in the restaurant, was that actually the tea I had in the fridge?" she asked Tony. "Not your usual drink that you leave sitting in the fridge?"

Tony shook his head. "No, my bottle of whiskey broke that night, remember? Oh, wait, my memory's a little fuzzy on that. But yes, why do you even call it 'tea'? It tastes nothing like the tea that I'd expect." He shuddered at the memory of the taste, his face showing a pure, revolted expression. "Tastes worse than goblin piss, if you'd ask me."

Ziva laughed at his expression. "How long has that been in there, anyway? Had to have been a few months now," she muttered to herself, her face blushing with embarrassed realization.

Tony looked at Ziva. "And it sat in there for how long? No wonder it was some powerful medicine taste, but that voice – you – was calling for me to drink it. So I drank the whole thing, just about. Don't think I'd want to repeat that experience."

Ziva gasped. "You weren't supposed to drink the whole – oh my gosh. No wonder you were so out of it for a while." She put both her hands on Tony's face, bringing his face in line with hers. "Apparently it worked, even when it was that old. Didn't realize it would be so powerful from age, though."

Tony chuckled. "Yeah. Apparently I also felt some of your pain too. Woke up sore and with a bloody nose, found myself banging on McGee's door at two in the morning."

Ziva chuckled. "Makes sense why McGee was a little concerned about you." She shook her head slightly. "Next time, I'll make it better. And we'll do it, together. That was my whole intent in the beginning with the tea, but we never got around to it. Israel came up before I had the chance."

Tony nodded. "Gotcha. What's in it, anyways? It sure isn't your Earl Grey tea." He let out a short chuckle.

Ziva smiled at Tony. "No, it's my special blend. Learned this when I was with the Mossad. Similar to the tea used for reiki meditation purposes."

"Reiki?" Tony sat up and looked at Ziva. "What's that? Never even heard of it."

"Here, let me demonstrate part of it." Ziva got up and sat behind Tony. "Maybe this part will help, as it forms part of reiki-type meditation and relaxation. The tea is one part, self-meditation is the second part. And, if done with a partner, this becomes the third part." She placed both hands on Tony's shoulders and started slowly kneading the tightness out of Tony's muscles.

"Oh! Oh, yes. That feels so good," Tony sighed in contentment as the knots in his shoulder muscles started to loosen, relieving the tension built within him. "Didn't realize how wound-up I've been for all these days and weeks." He reached behind him and ran his hand up and down Ziva's leg in time with her massaging motions.

Ziva looked down at Tony's hand and smiled. Even after everything that had happened before, she still somehow felt calm at his touch. "Well, also the strength of that tea. I didn't realize how it would become stronger as it got older sitting in the fridge. But yes, now that we're back home, we can now relax."

Tony had a realization. "Well, knowing that you're gonna be working for NCIS again, we gonna have to do things pretty much the same as before. Double lives. You know, so Gibbs doesn't find out."

Ziva leaned forward and hugged Tony from behind, and set her chin on one shoulder and nodded slightly. "Right. Only time will tell us when we can reveal all," she whispered to Tony. Her eyes flicked upward to the sky, and just then, a shooting star streaked across the sky. She smiled slightly at the shooting star.

Tony wrapped his arms around Ziva's, and leaned his head backwards slightly, tilting upward to look at the Milky Way band in the sky. "All these stars up there, look at 'em." He breathed out in amazement. "None as bright as you," he said as he turned to look at Ziva, a smile on his lips.

Ziva disengaged herself from Tony, then moved around to sit on Tony's lap, and looked at him in his eyes. "Feeling better now?" she asked, smiling at him.

Tony reached out and goosed her on her sides, causing her to jump and squeal with laughter. "Tons better now. I mean it, you're my brightest star."

Ziva smiled back at Tony. "Nothing – not even my father – will get in our way. As long as we do things right."

"And I'll be there for you, no matter what. Even if I have to go to Antarctica and then hell and back to find you and protect you, I will." Tony smiled at Ziva, and put an arm around her shoulders, bringing her closer to him.

Ziva hugged Tony and planted a full-on kiss on his lips, then came back up for air after a few moments, looking deeply into Tony's eyes. "And I'll do the same for you," she whispered to Tony.

Tony smiled, then leaned in to give Ziva a full-on kiss. After a few moments, he came up and looked at Ziva's moonlit face. He could see that Ziva's eyes held secrets, but he didn't press the issue. He figured that he would give her the time she needed to feel comfortable to express her feelings. "Whatever you need to talk about, I'll be there for you. I'll listen to you," Tony said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Ziva held Tony in an embrace, leaning her head on his shoulder. "Thank you, Tony. I may need your ear from time to time," she whispered into his ear. "Like tonight. It felt good talking with you, and being with you."

Tony nodded and held Ziva close to him and whispered back, "Thank you for getting me out of that funky head-space. My mind's clearer, now."

Ziva chuckled at Tony, but said nothing, just kept holding him in her arms. Just then, she looked up at the sky, and saw a large shooting star streak across the sky. She swallowed, and thought to herself, "Yes, I know. I need to tell him soon." She realized that it was Destiny trying to tell her that she needed to tell Tony more about the secret she has been harboring as a burden on her soul.

A/N: Dear Readers, Thank you for enjoying this, more to come soon. Also I would like to say thank you for the reviews, tweets, messages and kudos. PS: For those that complained about how I build and write my story, If you don't like how I do it, I suggest you write your own story. thank you.