Chapter 20

The Weight of Secrets

~~In Paris, before the episode, JetLag. 2010~~

Tony and Ziva walked into the lobby of the Four Seasons Hotel in Paris. Tony turned to Ziva when they noticed that there was a line of people waiting to be checked in. "Wow, a lot of people coming in this late at night, just like we are."

Ziva stood by Tony, looking at the line, arms folded. "Well, it is a tourist city, after all." As she looked around the lobby, she heard a baby crying fussily, right behind her. Something about the baby tugged at her, causing her to turn and look. She saw a woman holding a baby. The baby was fussing in the mother's arms, and the mother was rocking the baby, trying to calm her.

The woman sensed that someone was watching her, and looked up at Ziva. She smiled apologetically at Ziva and said, "I'm sorry about that. My daughter's fussy because it's well past her usual bedtime."

Ziva nodded as she smiled at the woman. "Oh, that's alright." She looked down at the baby, smiling at the baby. "Hi, there," Ziva spoke softly to the baby.

Something about Ziva's voice instantly calmed the fussy baby, and she looked up at Ziva. After a moment, a flash of smile flitted across her mouth. The baby flailed her arms toward Ziva and let out a sudden, happy coo.

A smile appeared on the woman's lips as she looked at the baby. She let out a gasp and looked up at Ziva and said, "She's never done that before, to anyone. She's usually very shy."

Ziva smiled. "Maybe it's my accent. Something different sounding to a child," she replied to the woman.

Just then, Tony walked up beside Ziva. "They're ready for us," he whispered into her ear.

Ziva looked at Tony. "Wonderful. Let's go to our room," she said, with a smile on her lips. She turned to look at the woman and child, and noticed that they were no longer there, and the smile faded from her mouth. "Interesting, I thought I'd seen them here a moment ago," she said to herself.

"Say something, Ziva?" Tony tilted his head at Ziva, his eyebrows shifting.

Ziva looked at Tony, a puzzled look on her face. "Did you see that woman with the baby just now? She was standing there a moment ago."

Tony looked blankly at Ziva. "No, what are you talking about. Maybe you're tired. It's late here, after all."

Ziva looked back at Tony. "Maybe. I don't know. I don't really feel that tired. Jet lag, I bet." She shrugged.

Tony smiled at Ziva and nodded. "See? There you go. Let's head on up to our room."

Ziva smiled at Tony and said, "Sounds good. I'm looking forward to seeing what the room looks like. Certainly nothing like all these tiny hotels we keep finding ourselves investigating crimes in all the time." Her hands came closely to each other, as if indicating the size of the hotel rooms.

Tony chuckled. "Yeah. Much nicer, too, I bet," he said as he waggled his eyebrows and rocked on his feet a little. "You'll feel like you're living like a king and queen in there."

Ziva let out a snort. "Doesn't mean that we get to do it every single weekend, though." She held up a finger in the air. "Remember, we're on the job first thing in the morning," she reminded Tony.

"But couldn't we maybe get a little together time?" Tony flicked his finger between him and Ziva, a smile on his lips. "A little roll around in the bed, like we did on that job a long time ago?"

Ziva turned to Tony as they arrived at their room and smiled as she shook her head slightly. "You're very predictable, you realize that? The moment we truly have our time, that's the one thing you want. You know the answer," she said.

Tony chuckled. "Who can blame me? What they don't know, won't hurt 'em. What's Gibbs gonna do, come busting the door down?" He inserted the key card into the door, and smiled as he heard a satisfying click as the door unlocked itself to grant entry.

Ziva let out a short chuckle as she fell into step behind Tony. "Wouldn't surprise me if he did. But this time, his fingers are tied to the job," she said.

Tony turned and looked at Ziva. "Hands are tied, you mean, because of the job. But yeah, that's pretty much it. Out here, rule twelve doesn't apply because he can't instantly teleport himself. No access to Star Trek technology."

Ziva laughed as she dropped her bags on the floor next to the door. "I'm sure he suspects by now, but can't do anything about it because he doesn't have any proof."

Tony walked up to Ziva and wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her in close to him, smiling at her. "Which means, we can test the bed out for ourselves. If anyone asks, one of us slept on the couch."

Ziva smiled and winked at Tony. "I slept on the couch because I know you'll be whining about your back on the plane tomorrow when we fly back," she said in a serious tone, but with a smirk on her lips.

"Deal." Tony winked at Ziva as he guided her to the bed.

~~Tiva~~

Next morning, Tony opened his eyes and stirred awake, moving slowly, and noticing that Ziva was sleeping with her head on his chest, her arms curled around him. He smiled down at her as he gazed into her peaceful looking face. "Ziva?" he whispered to her, half expecting her to not wake herself at the sound of his voice.

Ziva stirred awake, releasing Tony's arm. She then adjusted her head to be a bit more comfortable as she was waking up. "Oh, hey, Tony. Good morning," she said, her voice still full of sleep.

Tony looked at her and smiled. "Hey good morning Ziva." Tony smiled at how beautiful Ziva looked when she was sleeping.

"Good morning, Tony." Ziva adjusted herself into a more comfortable position, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She looked around the room, noticing their clothes in disarray on the floor. She turned back to Tony and said, "Looks like we had more fun than sleep last night." She made to get up out of bed.

But Tony pulled her to him and smiled at her. "Mmm, can we just stay here in bed and be together all day?" Tony wagged his eyebrows at her, looking intently in Ziva's eyes. Somewhere south of the equator, something was stirring to life as Tony pulled Ziva in closer to him.

Ziva chuckled at Tony, obviously feeling Tony's love becoming more evident in a more physical form. "We did a good amount of this last night, and you want more of it?" She flipped over on top of Tony, a smile on her lips. "Let's make the best use of our time, then."

"We have a bit of time left, still. We'll be outta here in no time flat," Tony said, a mischievous smile on his lips. He reached up to hug Ziva in a close embrace, and put a full-on kiss on Ziva's lips.

Ziva moaned in pleasure as Tony's hands glided over her nude body, touching all of her sensitive spots, as they rolled around in the bed, continuing their lovemaking.

~~Eiffel Tower grounds~~

Eventually when Tony and Ziva had arrived at the top observation deck of the Eiffel Tower, they took in the breathtaking views of the city scape. Ziva walked toward the railing overlooking the Louvre. As the sun shone in her face, she let out a contented sigh, admiring the beauty of the sunrise over the city. "It's beautiful up here. The scenery takes my breath away." Ziva smiled as she looked up at Tony.

Tony stood beside her at the railing and reached around her waist and pulled her in toward her, as he looked out over the city. "That's why I wanted to bring you here. See the sunrise from the tower. Much better than through the hotel window."

Before Ziva could say something, she heard the sound of doves cooing, and turned to look where the sound was coming from. "Oh, look, Tony! Doves on the railing over there," she said as she pointed toward them.

"Where?" Tony turned around to follow Ziva's gaze. "Oh, yeah, I see 'em." A sudden smile flashed across his lips. "You know, once a dove finds a mate, they stay together for life."

The doves cooed softly on the railing at them.

Ziva nodded and smiled at Tony's remark as she continued looking at the doves. "So peaceful sounding, too. We hear them all over in Israel."

Tony smiled at Ziva and said, "So you know about 'em. Wonder if they could talk, what would they say to us?" He tilted his head and looked at the doves sitting peacefully on the railing.

Ziva looked at the doves, wondering why they would be so close to them on the railing. She could have easily reached out and patted them on their heads, but she refrained. As the doves looked at her, she somehow had a sense of needing to tell Tony about what had happened to her in the past. She nodded ever so slightly to the doves and thought to herself, "But how do I tell him? About the baby?"

Before Ziva could say anything further, Tony turned and looked at Ziva. He let out a sigh, then said, "Ziva, you know, I want to tell you something that's been on my mind for a while, off and on. I've been having these dreams. Well, mainly it's this one dream." He held up a finger in the air, and paused to frame his next thoughts. "Started when I was Agent Afloat one night. Out of the blue, I had a dream that you were in a hospital bed, I was standing next to you. Holding a baby." He looked down at the people walking around on the grounds below the tower. "It's never really gone away, either. Wonder what that would mean?" Tony quietly said as he turned to look at Ziva.

Ziva looked like she had seen a ghost. "I – when did the dream come?"

"Ziva, what's wrong?" Tony turned and took a step toward Ziva. "Happened last year, why?"

Ziva let out a long gasp as she put a hand over her mouth. She suddenly had the realization that the Destiny had also manifested itself in Tony. "Oh, my gosh," she whispered to herself as she reached up and stroked Tony's cheek. The secret she'd been carrying within her for the better part of a year weighed heavily on her shoulders, and a tear suddenly fell from her eye. She swallowed a hard lump in her throat.

"Ziva, what's wrong? Did I say something wrong?" Tony reached out and put a hand on Ziva's shoulder and caressed it caringly.

Ziva quickly shook her head. "No, there's something I need to tell you." She turned to face Tony and swallowed yet another hard lump, and then looked up at Tony. "So, you remember the time Vance spread us different ways? You on that ship, me back to Israel, right?"

"Yeah, what about it?" Tony tilted his head to Ziva. "Never totally understood his reasoning behind why, until later. Made sense then."

"Well, something happened while I was in Israel." Ziva let out a sigh. "I'm not sure if you read or heard the news while on that ship out in the middle of nowhere."

Tony chuckled. "Not when the ship's on total radio silence. I didn't find out until I got back ashore and talked with McGee in MTAC. Even then, he didn't tell me too much. Only that the situation was stable. That you were doing okay for the moment."

Ziva slumped her shoulders and let out a sigh. "Forgot about that." She kneaded her hands for a few moments as she thought about how best to break the news to Tony, then reached out and held Tony's hand. She took a breath, then said, "When I arrived at the Mossad, I was starting to get this sickness that would go away by mid-morning. I just assumed it was the stress I had because of the unknowns that we faced, especially with us being away from each other."

"Right, and?" Tony asked, encouraging Ziva to talk. "I'm listening."

"Well, my father sent me on an undercover mission, and as part of the mission, I had to dance to music in this one bar. Best way to observe a person who loves entertainment is to be up on stage as a singer, sometimes." Ziva waved her hands in the air, as she stepped from side to side in small steps.

Tony sensed that Ziva was reaching a critical point in her conversation, and so he reached out and gently held Ziva's arm and caressed it for a moment. "Take your time, it's alright," he said. He gave Ziva the room she needed to talk, to let things out. "What happened on the mission?"

Ziva took a deep breath, then let out a long sigh before answering Tony. "Well, as I was dancing to the music, a bomb went off. Next thing I know, I woke up at the hospital. My father was there when I woke up."

Tony's face turned a bit sour. "How'd he know, and get there so fast?"

"A few other agents were injured in the blast as well. You know how my father is. News travels fast within the Mossad, especially when they were monitoring it from base." Ziva turned and leaned against the railing, looking out over the city.

The doves looked balefully at Ziva and cooed emphatically at her.

I know! Ziva thought to herself. I'll tell him now.

Tony turned and looked at Ziva. "So, you were injured in the blast, and you're okay." He tilted his head toward Ziva, his eyebrows furrowing. "But I'm getting this sense that something else happened to you at the same time."

A tear fell from Ziva's eye. "I was pregnant when it happened," she whispered to Tony. "I lost the baby in the blast. I never knew. I found out when the doctor told me. And my father knows, too."

Tony stood dumbfounded at the latest revelation. "What?! You were pregnant?" His face hung loose in total shock. "I didn't know you were pregnant."

Tears began to flow from Ziva's eyes. "It was our baby, Tony! And I lost it!" She walked into Tony's arms and held him as she cried in his arms.

Tony stood in shock, holding Ziva close to him. He swallowed a sudden lump that had formed in his throat. "I'm here for you, Ziva, no matter what." He held her closely to him, as a tear leaked from his eyes. "Our baby?" he quietly whispered to Ziva.

Ziva nodded in his arms and whispered to him. "Our baby."

"What'd your father say about it? He was there, right?"

Ziva let out a sigh, then swallowed. "It was... not pretty. He put two and two together because when I woke up, I said your name first, before I realized my father was by my bed, not you." She adjusted her head slightly so she could talk a bit more clearly. "He threatened me. Said if I ever try again with you, he will have that child killed. Or something to that effect."

Tony took a step back and held Ziva by the arms and looked at her. "He said that?"

Ziva didn't answer, but just nodded at Tony, the tears still flowing.

"C'mere, hon," Tony murmured to Ziva as he gently pulled her back into his arms. "Is that why you didn't tell me for so long?"

Ziva nodded in his arms. "He said he would go after you, too. I had to protect you by not telling you. But now, my father is dead to me."

Tony stood speechless for a few moments, holding Ziva, comforting her. He looked out across the city, considering things, his mind flashing back to the days where he went on a search and rescue mission and found Ziva. After a long few moments, he asked, "Why would your father be that way to you, anyway?"

Ziva gulped and looked up at Tony, her eyes rimmed in red, her cheeks stained with tears. She whispered to Tony, "Because he thinks I am the most important asset for the Mossad. He just wants to treat me like his puppet, doing whatever he wanted done for the agency. He said, and I quote, 'You are not to be with that clown boy again, ever!'" She put air quotes around what Eli had told her during that hospital visit.

After a few emotional moments of them holding and hugging each other, Tony looked down at Ziva, putting a finger under her chin and bringing her face up to look at him. "He'll do that? I mean, hunt me down and slowly take me apart and kill me?"

Ziva nodded at him. "That's why I had to protect you for so long. And as long as he's still head of the Mossad, I'll continue doing so."

Tony scratched his head, as he looked back at Ziva. He let out a sigh, then said, "Well, the important thing is that you're alright in the end. But, no matter what, I'm not going to let anything stop me from being there for you. Whatever you need, just let me know and I'll be there just like that." He snapped his finger in the air.

Ziva looked up at Tony. "Yeah, no one at work knows about this miscarriage I had. Except you, now." She caressed Tony's arms, running her hand over the hair on his arm.

Tony nodded, a small smile on his face, his face drawn taut. "And we'll keep it that way. Just between us two. But we'll be there for each other. Right?"

"Yeah." Ziva's voice was husky as she whispered to Tony.

Before Tony could say something, the doves cooed at them. Another dove, this one looking younger by its appearance, flew in and landed near the two that were already on the railing.

"Oh, look, Tony!" Ziva gushed out in a whisper as she pointed a dainty finger at the newcomer. "Looks like that dove knows them," she said.

Tony chuckled quietly. "A regular little family they got there. Who knows, we'll maybe have a family one day," he said to Ziva quietly.

Ziva looked up at Tony and a small smile formed on her lips. "Maybe one day. We'll see. But not now. It's almost time for us to work," she said as she looked out over the city just past the doves.

The two doves suddenly took flight and flew off, followed immediately behind by the younger dove. "Oh, look, there they go!" Tony exclaimed.

Ziva blinked at the doves. They left when I told Tony the secret. Destiny again? She thought to herself.

Tony turned to Ziva and pulled out his phone. "What say we make the call and head out to that cafe where we're supposed to meet our contact?"

Ziva smiled. "Sounds good. Put that phone away, I'll make the call. You go find us a scooter." She patted Tony on the hand, then waved the phone away.

Tony chuckled. "Think I saw a scooter rental place not far from here." He took Ziva by the arm and started toward the stairs toward the elevator. "Work calls now."

Ziva turned and stopped Tony in his tracks, and looked up at him, gazing deeply in his eyes. She whispered to him, "Thank you." Her eyes told him volumes more: "Thank you for not rejecting me with our loss. I feel at ease knowing that you know, now." Ziva smiled at Tony, and took his arm and walked on with him to the elevator.

"Anytime." Tony smiled at Ziva, giving her a quick hug and a peck on her forehead, just as the elevator door opened. Just then, they heard the doves cooing in the air. He shook his head and grinned as he stepped onto the elevator with Ziva.

Ziva smiled at the doves. "Even the doves are happy now," she said to Tony.

Tony chuckled at Ziva. "They just like seeing us together. We make the perfect couple – and work partners," he said to her.

Ziva chuckled as the elevator lurched and started moving downward. "On to work we go," she said.

A/N: Dear Readers, Wanted to say thank you for enjoying this chapter, more to come soon. Also Thank you in advance for the Reviews, Tweets, Messages and Kudos.