Present Day
I run my fingers through my shaggy dirty blonde hair and apply the last of my hair gel. I give myself one last look in the mirror, trying not to squint at my reflection. I knew the changes would be fast, but not being able to see details in the distance is a whole new level of annoying. I roll up the sleeves on my black button-down shirt and make sure the top few buttons stay apart. I pickup my eyeliner pen and carefully apply heavy liner to my top and bottom eyelids. Once I'm satisfied, I put on the spiked choker that makes the outfit.
Yeah. I look good. I slip out of my bathroom and grab my boots, also black, and I leave the house before I run into my parents. The last thing I need is a confrontation before the Reapings. I know there's going to be one after.
I walk up towards the Town Square and line up with the rest of the district's children and teens. While most keep their heads down, I raise mine higher than usual. I even see a few kids my age stare at me for just a little too long. If I were around tonight, maybe I'd look up with them. But I won't be here. I'll be on a train heading to the Capitol.
As my sight worsens, I realize that I'm tired of how little control I have over my own life. I realize I realize it will never stop. I'm on borrowed time. Once I lose my vision, there won't be anything left.
I shuffle into my section surrounded by boys my own age. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Kayle standing as far back in the crowd as he can manage. He makes brief eye contact with me before our escort of three years, Finch Everhill, mounts the stage. His bright purple hair and overly tanned skin do not compliment the clownish outfit he wears. Along with his outfit, he's exasperating and stuck-up. Thankfully he rushes through his usual introductions and our lovely video from Panem before walking over to the bowls filled with names. He starts with the females.
"Our female tribute will be... Ember Silverforge." I turn and watch the 15-year-olds section spread apart, leaving a young girl to carefully walk up to the stage. It's hard to miss her, as her bright red hair stands out in the crowd of brown hair. She stares out into the crowd, not upset or angry, just defeated. I know that look.
"And now, the males!" Finch walks over to the second bowl. Just as he pulls a slip down, I push myself through the crowd and announced "I volunteer." The boys around me quickly spread apart, leaving all eyes on me. Just how I like it. I hold my head up and walk up to the stage, standing besides a confused Finch.
"Oh, how wonderful! How unprecedented! What is your name?" Finch asks.
"Aleida Edevane." I wink into the crowd and see a few familiar faces with various degrees of shock, confusion, and even a bit of relief in the crowd, mainly those I've slept with. Most of the boys simply look relieved they're safe another year.
As for me, I've never felt better.
I lay on the couch in our Justice Building, waiting for whoever decides to visit me. Considering no one was aware of my plan, well, I can only imagine the reactions of those who do decide to say goodbye.
Minutes pass and I'm just starting to believe no one will come when the door swings open. I look up at Esch, who's rubbing his face with his hand. I don't bother to get up. I'm surprised he even showed.
"Aleida, what is wrong with you?" Esch's exasperated done doesn't go unnoticed. I roll my eyes.
"Now you're so worried about me?" I shot back, shaking my head. Esch walks over to me and pulls me off the couch. Up close, I can see the tears in his eyes. This takes me aback, but I don't lose my composure.
"I've always been worried about you, Aleida. I just thought you were smart enough to not actively get yourself killed." I can't help but snicker. Haven't I been doing that my whole life?
"We both know you don't actually believe that, right?" I tease, gently push him away from me.
"Why? Why are we here? I just want to understand." He pleads with me.
"Because... fuck this place! Fuck this country! I'm tired of being thrown around all the time. I'm tired of feeling abandoned by the ones I thought always had my back." With every word, I can feel the uncontrollable emotion threatening to spill.
"I'm the only one that's constantly been looking out for you, Aleida." Esch argues. I go to refute, but he cuts me off.
"Why do you think Suilen never hesitated to sell to you? Why do you think I left all those instruments behind when I left? All that technology? Aleida, everything I've done, tried to do, I think about you." For once, I find myself with nothing to say. My mind tries to process what he's saying to me, trying to determine the truth behind his words.
"You left without a word. You never made an effort to see me."
"I have to work 16 hours a day, every day. I board at the factory to save money. I'm saving. For a house, for us both. A place for both of us." I never find myself speechless, but when I open my mouth, nothing comes. So I decide to give him something I would have never given him. The truth.
"I'm going blind." I confess to Esch, sitting back on the couch.
"What?"
"Juvenile glaucoma. I won't be able to see anymore. It'll probably be definite, in like, a year. I already have issues seeing details, or stuff in the distance." I explain to Esch the best I could, trying hard to keep a level head.
"Jesus, Aleida." His tone shifts from anger and disbelief to sadness. Because he gets it.
The next thing I know, the door opens and a Peacekeeper enters.
"Time's up." I quickly stand up and face Esch, realizing I don't want him to leave. I want more time with my brother. The brother I know and love. I start to reach for a hug, but he pulls back.
"Goodbye, Aleida." He lets the Peacekeeper escort him out of the room. I rub my face with my hands and compose myself. I'm glad I do, because the door opens again and Kayle enters. Without hesitation, he throws his arms around me and squeezes tightly. I hug back.
"You're an idiot, Aleida." I laugh. Kayle sighs. He pulls back and wipes a tear from his eyes.
"I know."
"Why?"
"I just... want a chance to be spectacular. I can't get that here." This is the best I can give him, as half-assed as it may be. Kayle shakes his head. He knows I'm lying, but he doesn't call it out, as usual.
"You're already spectacular, Aleida." He takes my hand and gently glides his finger across my hand. "Please, please win."
"I will try." And I mean it. What else would I do?
Kayle hugs me again before pulling away and leaving the room. Fortunately for me, he is the last visitor. I briefly wonder if Esch stopped my parents from visiting, but I quickly dismiss the thought. I don't need to think about them, I need to focus on myself. And figure out how the hell I'm going to make my impression in the Capitol.
I board the train, not disappointed in how luxurious everything is. From the table of luxurious food and drinks to the elegant couches and a flat screen TV. Yeah, this'll do.
I grab a glass of what I assume is red wine and collapse on one of the couch. Finch gives me a strange look before shaking his head.
"Dinner will be at 7:00pm. Feel free to do whatever in the meantime." Finch informs me before disappearing down the hall and into a different train car.
As I finish my glass, I realize how sweet it is. Compared to the hard liquor I usually indulge on, it's a refreshing change of pace. I consider slowing down and allowing myself to enjoy the taste, so I wave at the nearby Avox to get another. He switches out my empty glass for one that's full and I take a controlled sip, enjoying the warmth in my body. Just before I take another sip, Ember stands in front of me with her arms crossed.
"You shouldn't be drinking." Is the first thing she says. I'm shocked at her bluntness and she notices.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were my mother." I shot back. I motion for another drink and the Avox complies.
"We're about to meet our mentor. I don't know about you, but I intend to survive." She says and takes a seat as far away from me as possible. I take a small sip of my third refill, tempted to finish the entire thing in her face. But I refrain. Just as I put my glass down on the table, Cheryl Burns enters. Although she's younger than my parents, she looks about ten years older. Her short straight brown hair lays flat against her pale skin. Her sunken brown eyes give off the illusion that she's always tired. Maybe she is. I've seen her annually since I was born, as she's mentored tributes from Five since she was crowned Victor. Unfortunately, she has a success rate of 0%. A few tributes have come close. Without missing a beat, she walks over to me. I stand, thinking she wants to shake hands, instead she suddenly takes my wine glass away from me and hands it to the Avox.
"Hey- hey! I was drinking that." I protest. I stand, reaching for the glass, but it's gone. Cheryl sits on the couch between Ember and me.
"And now you're not." Cheryl says with a sternness. Ember teases me and I roll my eyes. I sit back down, since I would have to walk past them both to get myself another drink I decide I'll just get another one later.
"Although I don't expect you to listen or do everything I tell you, you decided to be here. Why you did that, I have no idea, nor do I care. I still have to do my job for you both and I expect you to do the same." Cheryl says. We both nod.
"Great. Do you want to be mentored together or separate?"
"Separate." Ember and I both speak at once.
"Well, at least you agree. I'll start with you, Aleida, and once we're done, we'll watch the Reaping Recaps. After that, I'll work with you, Ember. Sounds good?" Cheryl suggests.
"Why are you working with him first?" Ember asks, annoyed.
"Because I'm not convinced he won't be passed out drunk by tonight." Ouch.
Ember can't, or won't, argue with that. I watch her get up and disappear into another compartment. As soon as she's gone, Cheryl looks at me.
"I'll let you start. What are your strengths? Weaknesses? Do you have a general strategy for the arena?" Cheryl asks me. I don't have to hesitate before answering.
"I'm good with technology. I'm strong. I'll get a lot of sponsors." She gives me a once-over and tilts her head to the side.
"Okay. That's a start. What about allies? Are you considering forming an alliance?" She questions me. Another easy question.
"No. I don't want one. I'll just have to kill them."
"That's true, but I wouldn't rule it out. The Careers will be your biggest threat. They've probably already got their eye on you since you volunteered. It wouldn't hurt to have someone trustworthy by your side." She points out. I nod, but I know I won't consider it.
"Okay, what are you weak at?" This, I pause to think about. How much does she need to know? Will the truth help her guide me best? Or will she decide that Ember has a better chance and focus all her energy helping Ember instead?
"Impulsive. Short fuse. I haven't really used weapons before." I list out, deciding to tell Cheryl part of the truth.
"To be expected." She pauses for a moment, her brow wrinkles. "Alright, here's what we're going to do. We'll watch the Reaping Recaps after dinner. Identify who the biggest threats will be and who you would consider an alliance with. Think about how you want to present yourself at the Chariot Rides. Try to win over sponsors. Once we get to the Capitol, we'll add to our plan." Cheryl suggests. I nod and she gets up. She doesn't have final words, she just leaves to her own compartment. I do the same, leaving the booze behind for later. As I enter my own bedroom, I find myself shocked at how luxurious my room is compared to the main train compartment I was just in. The bed is big enough for one person, but too small for two. The rug covering most of the metal floor must be made of some expensive textiles. The bathroom is small, but bigger than the one I had back at my parent's house. The fixtures look brand new.
I slip off my boots and choker, laying down on the bed and trying to ignore the feeling of dread that won't stop harassing my brain.
I must've dozed off, because the next thing I know a loud banging on the door wakes me.
"Who the fu-hello?" I mumble.
"Recap time." Ember's voice barely carries through the door. I get off the bed and find comfortable slippers next to the dresser. I slip them on and open my door. Even though she's about half a foot shorter than me, her light grey eyes stare intensely at me.
"Let's go." She walks down the hall towards the main compartment. I roll my eyes but follow anyway. When we enter the room, she immediately takes a seat in the middle of the main couch. Cheryl stands behind the couch but doesn't acknowledge either of us as she prepares the TV. I grab a plate of food, what appears to be some kind of turkey meat, potatoes, and vegetables, and take a seat away from Ember. As soon as I sit, the Capitol's anthem and symbol play on the television. It quickly fades to District 1, where two intense, blonde 18-year-olds volunteer to the stage. The girl, Brighton, already looks maniac with her smirk. I wouldn't want to be at the end of her weapon. The boy, Glint, doesn't even smile. His stone-cold face creates an uproar of applause in District 1.
District 2 plays next, with two just as large tributes. The girl, Layna, has a much more neutral expression on her face than either of her fellow Careers so far. With her dark skin and hair, she doesn't even have to try to impress those around her. The boy is the same. I think his name is Cade. He comes off a little more humorous than Layna, cracking a joke when he mounts the stage. I'm surprised people laugh.
Moving onto District 3, it's such a large jump in the tone. Where District's 1 and 2 were joyful, District 3 couldn't be anymore solemn. It gets worse when a scrawny 12 year old girl is reaped. Her murky blonde hair covers her face as she walks to the stage, but it's obvious she's crying. The boy doesn't seem much better. He looks to be about 17 and walks with a cane.
"He's blind." Ember says. I look over at her.
"How can you tell?" My tone comes off as accusatory, even though that's not how I meant it. She doesn't notice.
"The cane. He's using it to find his way." I'm about to dispute it, but right before they move onto District 4, I see what she means. He extends the cane in front of him, feeling around as he walks off the stage.
Thankfully, I have the volunteers from 4 to distract myself with. Neither of them stand out to me other than they look well fed and well trained. I'm sure this year's Career pack will be incredibly strong.
It fades quickly to District 5. Ember is reaped and, luckily for her, the announcers are impressed with her bravery. Then there's me, charming the audience as I volunteer and take my spot. Even before they get a hint of my personality, they're already commenting on how rare a volunteer is from an outlying district and try to remember the last time there was one. Fortunately, they seem to be enthralled with my personality.
I'll have sponsors for sure. The idea of being showered by gifts mostly distracts me for the rest of the recaps, thankfully there are no surprises for the rest of the districts. After the seal fades to black, Cheryl instructs me to get some rest while she works with Ember. I comply, initially intending to stay up for an hour or two, but the second my body hits my bed, I feel a wave of exhaustion pour over me. Within minutes, I fall into a much needed sleep, ironically, one better than the ones from back home.