A/N: This chapter was difficult to write because I was conflicted on how to write it. I feel like I kind of jumped to different topics and did not have a natural flow. If there are any suggestion, please let me know, I am not perfect.
"Mr. Taisho, please follow me".
Sesshomaru stands and shakes his head, he could not believe he was going to individual counseling. He felt he didn't need this, but Rin is asking this of him, so he will go but he may not participate.
"Welcome Sesshomaru, it is nice to see you back," says Tsukuyomaru
Sesshomaru nods.
Tsukuyomaru thought he may not be as responsive as he was with the session with Rin.
"As you are aware, you and your wife attended marriage counseling. This will be quite different from that, this will focus on…you as an individual, hence Individual counseling".
Sesshomaru thought his statement was corny, but he will see what Tsukuyomaru had up his sleeve.
"Tell me about you Sesshomaru, anything you want to tell me".
"I do not wish to talk to you about anything. I am just here because Rin asked me to".
Tsukuyomaru breathed out, "Rin thought you may respond that way, so she wanted me to give you a message. She wanted me to let you know if you didn't participate, do not worry about communicating anymore, she will move forward with the divorce".
Damn it Rin! I do not want to do this. What can I possibly get from this! Sesshomaru thought to himself.
"Seems your wife knows you very well," Tsukuyomaru smirks.
"Well," Sesshomaru responds. "What does one speak about in these types of meetings".
Since you are having a hard time bringing up a subject, I will aid you".
"Who are you Sesshomaru?"
An annoyed Sesshomaru responds, "I am Sesshomaru Taisho. I am of noble blood; I am to be respected as I have paid my dues. I am a force to be reckoned with".
"Is that whom you truly are, or whom you were. Who are you now?"
Sesshomaru thought about this, that life was a part of him, but he is in a totally different era now, he was different.
"I am Sesshomaru Taisho of Inutaisho Corp, a business demon that has become well respected in owning the highest corporation internationally. I have a loving wife with a beautiful smile that could bring a demon like me to curve his mouth".
"That is your life now Sesshomaru. You may still have that part of you within you but look how your life has changed and what has been added to it, your wife. Is being respected a big deal for you?"
"I have worked through many centuries to get where I am. I wasn't the most liked demon but none of that bothered me. If you got in my way, you were annihilated. I was never denied anything and if I was, I would just take what I wanted".
"But somehow youu were able to find patience with Rin".
"Yes, I did, she is human, she is fragile. I would never want to break her in which I probably did".
"Although this is individual counseling, we can still talk about other topics. These topics are a part of you, a part of your growth as an individual".
Sesshomaru nods.
What was your life like before Rin?"
"I walked a lonely path for a very long time; I was not looking for love. I was looking for power, I wanted to defeat every demon that came my way. It became a sport for me, and I enjoyed the killings. I eventually wanted to challenge my father but that has not happened, he is still my superior".
"What made you seek power? Why would a son want to challenge his father?"
"Coming from a noble family and my father the ruler of the western lands and I the heir, we were a highly respected family. I don't know why but my father stepped out on my mother and married a human woman whom he is now mated to. For a long time, I had to prove myself, I was being looked down upon because of my father's choice. I had to prove I could succeed him and be the most powerful youkai, and never walk in his footsteps. He was almost killed trying to save her, I vowed never to be that way".
Tsukuyomaru was surprised at how much Sesshomaru revealed. "You wanted to challenge your father because he was now looked as if he was weak for loving a human woman, and almost lost his life because of it".
"Yes, many demons including I thought his powers lessened because the humans nearly killed him, and they are inferior to our kind".
This mechanism helped Tsukuyomaru, asking Sesshomaru questions was like a challenge to Sesshomaru and Tsukuyomaru noted that. It would also help the process of easing into talking about his marriage with Rin. To see how it affected him, for him to take ownership for the part he played and make changes for the better. Even though they would be jumping around, it was still open dialogue.
"How were you after that? Your father leaving your mother and starting his new life with his new mate.
"I left and challenged anyone I felt was inferior. I could not communicate with my father, so I had to fill the void and that was challenging others and it felt good. It felt good to have that power. My father knew what he was doing, he broke a family up to be with a human woman and then have a child. I warned him but my voice was ignored".
"So, with your father, instead of directing your anger towards him and saying how you felt about everything, you went around harming others for what you say was for "power". You were frustrated with your father because you couldn't talk to him about how you felt so you retaliated on others. That leads to what is happening now, you couldn't get what you wanted from Rin, so instead of facing those problems you had with her head on, you searched for her within another. You felt like your voice was ignored as it was with your father and that they both knew the consequences of their actions. Both situations have some similarities".
"That could be true," Sesshomaru says.
Tsukuyomaru says sarcastically, "What you fail to realize, everyone is not like Sesshomaru, they are not perfect like you. You also tend to add a third party which is very unnecessary, just open your mouth and use your words. Communicating is very easy".
"You have said a handful but yes I have always been that way. I shut down when I feel communication is lost. What do you mean by third party?"
"Outside sources; you use other individuals to make you feel good about what you could not face".
Sesshomaru took a deep breath and thought the Dr. was right. He didn't deal with his problems head on. Everyone else had to feel his wrath of the pain he harbored deep within.
"So, it is safe to say, your past has made you whom you are now?"
"Yes, that can be said. As modern times came upon us, I learned another way to adapt to this world. I recognized I became someone different and that may have been for the better. I also have kept some things from my past. If I don't get what I want, I will get it elsewhere. My father taught me that, he wasn't satisfied with my mother, so he went to another. There was no explanation, just took off and did what he wanted. I see how that would be compared to what I did to Rin".
Tsukuyomaru wanted to change the direction of the conversation and talk more about the marriage. "How do you feel about Rin?"
"If she would have just listened to me instead of ignoring me. I wouldn't have felt the need to search for what I needed from her. She was right there in front of me, and I couldn't reach her. I tried to pretend I was fine, but I wasn't. The void I was feeling, needed to be fulfilled. I thought she would realize what I wanted and needed was simple, just a piece of me and her".
"You want a family?"
"I have a very dysfunctional family. I had a lot of resentment from what my father did to my mother. I despised humans because of it. My mother was hurt, and my father was on his deathbed, but of course he survived".
"You came from a broken family, but you wanted to have a better experience with Rin".
Sesshomaru nods, "Also it is a part of my being to breed".
"Sesshomaru I have heard a lot and it makes me respect you as a fellow demon to be open like this. I am content with this information you shared today. It helps me learn more about you as an individual and how it may have mold you into whom you are today. We should get down to what truly brings you here and that is accountability. Do you hold yourself accountable for the part you played in, or do you want to play the blame game?"
"I can hold myself accountable for my actions. I should have spoken up instead reverting to my old self. She is my wife; she holds a title I will never give another; she is my world".
"Is it fair to say your infidelity was because you felt like you were not being respected especially by the woman who vowed to give herself to you? So, when you did not get your way, you took what you wanted, in this case, it was not directed to who it needed to be directed to but to another".
"Correct, the worst decision of my life. It wasn't a mistake because I let it happen multiple times, so I own what I have done. My wife is a human and I Sesshomaru am a demon. I should have been more attentive to her needs as a human, her emotions".
"Times have changed huh Sesshomaru?"
"Indeed".
"I am not saying this to make you feel good, but you are not the only one to blame. No more blame games…saying, you should of did this or you should have done that. It is time to close that door, the both of you, if you both are ever going to be successful in the marriage".
Sesshomaru stares out the window, "I agree, I see I made her feel guilty because of everything. She was not wrong in the way she reacted to this Sesshomaru's infidelity". Sesshomaru turns to look at Tsukuyomaru, "You do good work".
"Good to hear from a youkai of your stature".
Sesshomaru nods.
"So, to sum things up, you didn't want to be that weak individual that fell for a human, but you did, you fell for one and didn't want to hurt her intentionally. It sort of was the same behavior you had with your father, but it was a different way of moving. You now realize how fragile your human wife is and her emotions are different from yours. You hold yourself accountable in the part you played in your marriage. You have a tendency of walking away when you feel your voice has not been heard. Therefore, letting things sway in a negative way".
Tsukuyomaru watches Sesshomaru and it seems as if he was contemplating something but couldn't find the words for.
Tsukuyomaru continues, "I will not take away your accomplishments and what you had to do to get there. Your fathers love for a human left him greatly injured and looked upon as weak. You didn't want to be looked upon as a weakling. Your past molded you to who you are now and that is not necessarily a bad thing. We as beings are still learning about life each day. We may make a "mistake" that could change our path, but we have to look at it as if the universe is saying to us, we need to pay attention to this and fix it or walk away because it no longer serves us".
Sesshomaru felt a little better knowing that.
"You had to do what you had to do for yourself back then, there is still room for change Sesshomaru. Do not beat yourself up".
Sesshomaru stands up and nods to Tsukuyomaru. "We are done for the day?"
"Yes, and as I mentioned before, you and Rin are welcome here whenever you all are ready for that next step".
Sesshomaru felt good about his session. He takes out his phone and texts Rin.
Sesshomaru: I just left Tsukuyomaru, I think it went quite well.
Rin phone buzzes and dings making her jump out of her nap she was having at her desk at work. "How did I fall asleep like that?"
She goes to pick up her phone and sees a notification from Sesshomaru and reads it, she smiles.
Rin: We can't be all talk; we must put those words into actions. It helps us move in a better direction. ?
Sesshomaru sits in his car and breathes out hard, he felt the next thing he wanted to say to Rin might make her push away, if he was moving too fast. He thought the worse she could say was no.
Sesshomaru: I agree…maybe if you are available, we could have a walk in the park or a cup of coffee.
Rin stares at her phone and then looks around the room, "Am I ready for this?"
A/N: Do you know after watching Yashahime, I wanted to take back this story because even though I know he is true to his wife and his pups, this story is starting to piss me off and I feel guilty that I wrote it? Good thing this storyline will never be, whew!