**TW - SUICIDAL THOUGHTS**
I stared down at my phone and reread my angel's text. "I'm not ok." Immediately my mind hit jumped to physical pain and I called her. It only rang three times, and then another text. "I can't call. I can't talk. I can't do anything."
"sweetheart what's wrong?" I started to get my apartment ready for her, picking up just a few things that were out.
"I'm having suicidal thoughts. I can't go to my parents. Idk what to do." I ran to my car. The thought of my angel being hurt, especially by herself, made my blood boil. I sped as I drove to her house. I called her when I got there. "Baby, I know you can't talk, I need you to come outside. I'm parked right in front of your house. You don't need anything. Please come with me." I begged, hoping she would be safe. I couldn't lose her. I just couldn't imagine my life without her anymore. I saw her. Her hair was a mess, which I found adorable but worry some. It occurred to me that I had barely talked to her for a couple days. I hung up the phone and when she opened the door, I said "backseat."
we drove like that for a little bit before we got to an empty lot. The sun was about halfway set. It was beautiful, and, I hoped, calming. I got out of the car and into the back seat, pulling her against me. I kissed her hair over and over again, hoping she knew how much I loved her. She was still. "Darling, can you speak?" She started stuttering. I had never heard her stutter before. I laid a finger against her lips, telling her to stop, and ran my hand up and down her back. this was the same shirt I had seen her in three days ago. What was happening? I knew she struggled a little bit with her mental health but I had no idea it was this bad. The look on her face said she was falling apart, and I wanted to hold her together.
"My beautiful girl." I whispered, hoping I could help her. "I know you can't talk, but I'm going to. I love you so much. We're going to have such a happy life together. You're going to graduate and we're going to move far away. I'll work and support you through college. You'll never have to see your parents again. You'll study, I'll take care of you. You'll graduate and go on to get whatever job you want and we'll work for a while. We'll get married, whenever you're ready, and somewhere a while down the line, we'll have kids. I don't know how many you want but we'll do that many. I just want to live a long and happy life with you by my side, because nobody has ever meant this much to me, and nobody ever will." She was calming down, I could feel it. "Can I drive us home? I'll keep talking if you want." I felt her nod against my chest.
As we drove, I held her hand on the steering wheel, completely in control. I kept talking, giving her random details about the life I envisioned for the two of us. She started responding, at first by nodding her head and then with a yes or no. When we got to the parking lot, I ran to get her door for her and scooped her up into my arms. I looked at her perfect face and smiled. Even this disheveled, she was beautiful. "Do you want a shower or anything, my love?" I offered as we walked. "A bath," I heard her whisper. Of course. I unlocked the apartment and brought her in, not bothering with the lights.
We went to my bedroom. I set her on the bed and handed her a t shirt and panties, then went into the bathroom to draw her a bath. When I came back, she hadn't changed. I gently lifted hee shirt over her head, then her bra, making sure to not stare. I barely even noticed her beauty. I pulled the clean shirt on, not sure if she wanted me to see her like this, and then led her to the bathroom. The water was running at a good temperature, and I had added some bubbles I had got for her once when she was on her period. "I'm going to stay in here with you, just in case. Is that ok? You can wear clothes in the bath if you want." I didn't want to risk leaving her alone. She eventually settled on only wearing my shirt. I turned around while she changed, and once I heard her settled in the bath, I sat at the edge of the tub. I started brushing out her beautiful hair. It clearly hadn't been done in several days.
I watched her relax for about 20 minutes, just sitting with her in silence. I pulled up a chart on my phone and managed to make a loose, simple braid for her. I had no idea if she liked it. When she told me she was ready, I pulled the plug and went to get her pants. I left the bathroom door open. I found her staring at the sink and figured out what she needed. I helped her brush her teeth and dry herself off. I gave her the pants, and then a clean tank top. Once she was all ready we got in bed, me behind her, with MT arm draped over her waist.
"thank you for helping me," she whispered. She sounded almost embarrassed.
"angel, thank you for telling me. I could... When I thought you might hurt myself, I didn't even think, I got in the car. I meant every word I said. I want a life with you, a long, happy life, and I'm going to give it to you. I would give you the world. I love you so much." I whispered.
She was asleep by the time I finished talking.