A/N: Sorry for the wait everyone. This story is in the works of being beta'd but I thought I would still post the latest chapter.
All previous chapters will be revised by lilly_moon
Thank you to kawaiigiggles82 for going over this chapter for me!
The day has come for their session with Tsukuyomaru.
Sesshomaru waited outside Tsukuyomaru's office building until Rin arrived to walk inside together. He hoped this would be their last session together.
They silently walk in together.
Sesshomaru thought this was odd because they were engaging more. He thought maybe it was nerves, which is why she wasn't speaking.
They enter Tsukuyomaru's office and take a seat.
Tsukuyomaru stands at his desk and greets the two. "Morning Taishos'. It is nice to see you both here again."
Tsukuyomaru motions for them to have a seat and then takes his seat as well. "So, tell me, how has your communication been?"
The two begin to speak simultaneously. Sesshomaru stops and allows Rin to speak.
"I think it has progressed. We recently kind of went on a date this past weekend," Rin says, looking over at Sesshomaru.
Sesshomaru nods, "It was delightful being out together."
Rin smiles at Sesshomaru and turns her attention back to Tsukuyomaru.
Tsukuyomaru intertwines his fingers. "Well, that is some improvement. Who initiates spending time together?"
Sesshomaru looked over to Rin, and Tsukuyomaru understood.
"Why is Rin the initiator?" Tsukuyomaru asks.
Silence.
Rin turns to look at Sesshomaru; he has his eyes closed. He just needed a moment.
He finally speaks, "I do not want her to feel as if I am smothering her. The ball is in her court. I have pressured her before, and that only pushed her away."
Rin was a little bothered by this. She liked being in control, but she also wanted him to lead. It had been almost a year since their separation; it was different now. Her judgment wasn't cloudy anymore. She was ready for him to take the role that belonged to him. He is also an Alpha male, and she didn't want to strip him of his dominance.
Tsukuyomaru read Rin's body language and looked to Sesshomaru. "No, Sesshomaru, you mustn't hold back."
Tsukuyomaru sits back in his chair. He motions his hand toward Rin. "You want this woman?"
Sesshomaru looks over to Rin and eyes her up and down. She felt his eyes searing into her skin. She felt her body heat up upon his gaze.
Sesshomaru's eyes dim, "With every part of my being. She is my everything."
A small smile crossed Rin's lips; she liked that.
Tsukuyomaru continues, "Well, if you want this woman, why not take her?"
Rin's eyes widen at Tsukuyomaru's bold words.
Sesshomaru growls and stands up. Rin walks over to him and pushes down on his chest to calm him and get him to sit back down.
"I am not trying to offend you, Sesshomaru. I am simply asking a question." Tsukuyomaru turns to look at Rin, sitting back down in her chair. "Have I offended you, Rin, with my choice of words?"
Rin shakes her head in the negative. She looks over at a very agitated Sesshomaru. "Sesshomaru, I don't think Tsukuyomaru is trying to cause harm. He has to challenge us. Do not think of it as a threat."
Sesshomaru felt calm once after Rin's declaration.
"Now, like I was saying, if you want this woman, why not take her?"
Sesshomaru knew how to answer this question, but he didn't want Rin to feel uncomfortable. He was cautious in his wording. "When Rin accepts me, then I may have her once again."
Rin was expecting a different answer. She knew he wasn't being truthful. Annoyed, she shifts in the chair.
"Sesshomaru, you don't sound confident. What makes you think she has not accepted you?" Tsukuyomaru asks.
Sesshomaru looks over at Rin to see if she would object to anything, but she says nothing. He was at a loss for words.
Does she want me? Has she been waiting for me to make a move? He thought.
Tsukuyomaru laces his fingers and puts them under his chin. His elbows lay flat on his desk. "Women…females love when their significant other take charge. It boosts their ego. It is a sense of pride they have that one could go wild over their femininity."
He turns to look at Rin. "Am I wrong, Rin?"
Rin shakes her head no but refuses to meet Sesshomaru's gaze.
Sesshomaru was confused; he didn't think Rin would give him the time of day. She was rejecting him so much; he gave up. Now she wants him to chase after her? Take control of her… take control of her body?
Rin speaks up softly, "Taking control every now and then wouldn't hurt."
Sesshomaru leaned back in his chair and thought for a moment.
The same could be given in return.
She doesn't go out of her way to make him feel wanted by her.
She mainly threatens him with divorce when he doesn't do what she asks or moves too fast.
Does she want to be punished? I could give her punishment for holding out on that sweet little pussy. I could punish her for not becoming my mate when promised , he thought.
At this point, Rin and Tsukuyomaru are looking at each other questionably because Sesshomaru is sitting with an eyebrow raised, legs crossed with two pointer fingers touching.
Sesshomaru suddenly stands from his position and moves his eyes over to Rin. "What about me, Rin? Why haven't you shown this Sesshomaru he is wanted…Do you not think what it does to me when you flaunt your femininity around me."
Oh, Sesshomaru ! She thinks.
He sounds so hypnotizing that she is momentarily lost in his gaze.
She gulps, "Yes, you are right. It goes both ways." She wipes her forehead, "We both want the same thing. I would like for you to be more masculine with me, and you wish for me to be more feminine, right."
Tsukuyomaru squints at the two. He knew what he was seeing; it was sexual tension between the two. It seemed it came more from Rin than Sesshomaru. He was holding back because of Rin. He just threw some questions out there and the feedback he got back from the two filled the whole room up. He knew that they would be all over this room if he weren't present.
He watches the two have a stare-off until he decides to break it. "So, what is next for the two of you?"
Neither one thought they would be so open like this in marriage counseling.
Yes, they talked about each other's roles and needs to step up their game. But, in reality, reading through the lines, they both wanted intimacy. It was about time, and it was long overdue. They were becoming desperate to kiss, hug, have access to touch each other's bodies. Both yearned for one another.
That was the question they would need to answer. What was next for the two? Where would they go from here?
Not genuinely looking for an answer, Tsukuyomaru stands up from his desk, walks around, and sits in front of his desk, looking back and forth between the two.
"I feel you both will need to ponder on that. You will either figure it out together or separately. The choice is yours."
Sesshomaru and Rin look at each other and nod.
Tsukuyomaru bows, "This concludes our session. I wish you both the best. I feel you both already know the answer. If I don't see you back, I will come up with my own conclusion."
Rin and Sesshomaru exit the office in awkward silence. Both of them are in deep thought as they enter the elevator.
Through these sessions, they both expressed their truth. Whether it hurts or not, it was spoken.
As they walked towards the parking garage, Rin noticed they parked next to each other.
She thought about the sex tape and was embarrassed for even thinking to bring it up, but it had to be addressed. She thought there was no getting around it because who knows, it could bring them closer. Not only sexually but emotionally since it was about his struggle to mate her.
She looked around the vicinity; they were alone. She taps on Sesshomaru's arm.
Rin says quietly, "Umm, Sesshomaru, I discovered something."
With his hands in his pockets, Sesshomaru turns around and looks at her curiously. "What may that be?"
"I found a tape of us, and it showed something disturbing."
Sesshomaru knew exactly what Rin was referring to but was curious about what she would say. Did she watch it to the end? Did she find relief? He was thinking too hard. The session they just had and then this. He had to keep his mind out of the gutter.
"What was so disturbing?" he asks.
Timidly she says, "You seem to be struggling with wanting to mate me. Was that something you always had a hard time with?"
"Yes," he replied. "I struggled a great amount." Sesshomaru leans his back against his car, "I didn't want to stop you from pursuing your dream. What I said when we went out to dinner, that is true. I guess you didn't believe my words until you saw the video."
She nods, "Yes, I saw it, and it made me feel extremely guilty. I was well in my career, and I ignored the only thing you asked of me. I chose not to Sesshomaru. I dropped that ball." She looks to the side and says softly, "I didn't give you what you deserved."
Rin's eyes begin to tear up. Sesshomaru hated when Rin would cry. He wiped away her tears; he wanted to soothe her.
"It is fine, Rin; we are here now. We want to make things better between us. We both admit to our wrongdoings, and we will make up for them." He sighs and cups her cheek, "I know there is no other being, no other woman I want to live my life with, only you, Rin." He looks deeply into Rin's eyes and then embraces her.
Rin didn't hold back; she embraced him back. He was finally in arms reach to fully take in her scent. He nuzzles into her hair. "You smell so good, Rin."
If she didn't want him to hold back anymore, he would gladly oblige her. He will take control and make her lose her mind. He continues to nuzzle into her hair until he swiftly moves down where his lips meet her neck.
Rin was so lost in his embrace and touch; she moaned out.
Sesshomaru's feral side was pushing through with that small sound.
He purrs into her neck. "Rin, did you watch the whole video?"
"Yes," she says breathily.
"How did it make you feel?" he says, caressing his lips against her neck and shoulder.
Losing control, she moans out, "I came."
Sesshomaru growls, Rin realizes what she just said. She wishes she could take her statement back, but it is too late.
Sesshomaru cups her chin and devours her mouth.
There was so much passion flowing through them.
They had reached a point of no return.
Isn't this what you wanted, Rin? For him to take control? Rin thinks to herself.
He moves Rin up against his car, lifting her. Her legs wrap around him, and she cups his cheeks, forcing her tongue into his mouth. Sesshomaru reaches behind her back to bring her closer. He feels her soft breasts against his chest.
He needed more of her.
He kisses down to her chin and then to her neck. Rin gives him complete access. She moans and curves her back into his touch. She then remembers where they were; someone could walk out any moment. She tries to get Sesshomaru's attention, "Sesshomaru, we have to stop; someone could see us."
Sesshomaru growls and continues to move, trying to remove the fabric from her chest to reveal her breast. "I do not care! Let them see me pleasure my wife."
He rubs her erect nipple through the cloth. "Oh fuck, please, Sesshomaru, you have to stop," she moans out.
She grabs his wrists to make him stop. She tries to push him away, but he keeps her pinned against the car, grinding his hips into her.
She lets out a whimpered moan and arches her back.
Sesshomaru loves what this is doing to her. She teased him the other day at the festival; he could smell her arousal then. Now tonight, she practically begged him to take her during their counseling session. The sexual tension was so thick in the air.
Now he has her pinned up against his car, tasting whatever part of her body he could. He smiles when he feels her warm nectar pouring onto his pants.
"Do you like this, Rin? Do you like my hard cock grinding against you," he says, continuing to grind into her.
Rin lets out another moan.
Her grip on his wrists was loosening. She was sure to come if he continued to grind at that special place.
She looked at Sesshomaru with her lustful chocolate orbs; she begged him, "You have to stop, please."
Sesshomaru looked down between them and sucked his teeth, "Fine."
"I am sorry, Sesshomaru," she says as she slides down the car back onto her feet.
Sesshomaru looked down at the bulge in his pants, and there was a wet spot there.
"What are we doing, Rin?" he says, looking deeply into her eyes.
Rin crosses her arms against her chest and leans on his car. "We have been without each other's touch for quite some time. This is normal for us to be this way, feeling lustful. We have to be stronger than this. We can't give in to our wants now."
Sesshomaru scoffs and narrows his eyes, "Rin, now is not the time for therapy. You are my wife; I am not your patient. These are not wants; it is a need to be with my wife. To have you writhing like that… it pleasures my entire being."
He was confused; she just said she wanted him to take charge in therapy.
His arms stretched out on either side of her face. He looks deeply into her eyes. "I need you, wife. I am begging, and I am pleading with you. I want to come back home. This separation between us has battered my soul. My true being has made me pay every day for what I did to you, Rin. I feel like I am dying without you."
He moves closer and leans into her space. His lips were so close; she wanted them to touch but turned her face.
He growls and backs off, and puts his hands back in his pockets. He sniffs the air where her arousal is still lingering. "That is why I made so many irrational decisions...making you uncomfortable. I am without your presence for days, weeks, months." He clenched his fists and closed his eyes, "I can't smell you; I can't see you; I can't taste you; I can't cater to you or your emotions."
Rin's breath hitches, he looks into her eyes, "All of those things affect my inner being. The only thing I have is hope, and that is the only thing keeping me….. thriving."
How could she deny him now? He was becoming the Sesshomaru she always knew. He was giving her everything she needed. She forgave him, too, so why was she hesitant about wanting her daiyoukai husband?
Rin, with her arms, crossed looked around the parking lot. "You are not only a beast, Sesshomaru!" Her octave changes; she closes her eyes and opens them back, and glares at him. "But you do deserve to feel that way. At least one of you recognizes I have been hurt and at times apprehensive with moving forward."
"I don't know what else to do, Rin; this is becoming confusing. You say you want me to take control, and when I make a move, you stop it. You continue to punish me. I back away, and I let you control the reigns, but you get upset when I don't take them from you?" He paces a little, "My wall comes down, and I am confident in taking control, but you snatch it away," He says, defeated.
Rin lowers her arms to her sides, balling her fists, "Do you think I know what to do? Do you think I want to have all of these emotions? I don't! I want to be happy like I used to be with you. A part of me has been broken, shattered. This change in our relationship has confused me too."
"I wasn't asking to be fucked in a parking lot tonight. I thought we could start with hugs and kisses now and then, but you just tried seducing me, and I almost...fell into your spell."
She walks away from him and goes to unlock her car door. "I have boundaries now. You just can't do what you want anymore and get away with it. It's not that…simple."
She doesn't open the car door; she stands still. "Do you want to come back home?"
Sesshomaru growls, "More than ever."
"I am human, and at times I am going to be confused and my emotions everywhere. It is difficult dealing with betrayal. I am not a demon."
She shakes her head. "I will have good and bad days. I don't mean to sound cold, but you will have to respect my boundaries. That is the first step on coming home."