AN: For reference, Kate visits Walnut Grove in 1875. Technically, Doctor's Lady aired after Christmas at Plum Creek, which was the Ingalls' first Christmas there. The Ingalls family moved to Walnut Grove in 1874. Not sure how old she was supposed to be in the show, but for the purpose of this story, she was originally 18.
No one said a word as Kate and Hiram stared at each other, trying not to blink as they both held onto each. If any member of the Oleson family were to look close enough, they would see that the pair held onto each other quite tightly. And somewhat deliberately, as if they were afraid one of them would disappear if they let go. Kate maintained her grip on the doc's arms, trying not to blush as old memories of being held by those arms came creeping back. And Hiram, who ran up to catch Katie before she could fall off the stage, didn't dare move his hands, which were conveniently holding onto her waist. Even though she was wearing a coat, Hiram could make out the curve of her waist. Kate wasn't petite, per say, but she was rather slender. But after having two children at once...Just from holding onto her, Hiram could tell that Kate went from a slender 18 year old girl to a well developed, 34 year old young woman. Hiram's head was already spinning.
Time seemed to have stopped for Hiram and Kate, as cliche as that sounds. Many thoughts and feelings ran in both of their minds. But neither one of them could tell who was the most nervous. Though all the signs pointed to the doc, who, despite the nippy December air, started to sweat. And if anyone listened real closely, they could tell that the doc was struggling to breathe. He could feel his breath get caught in his throat again as his eyes got a better look at Kate's face. From her doe-like eyes to the contours of her face, which were now rosy from the frosty air. At least, that's what Hiram concluded. She wasn't blushing because she still had feelings for him, could she?
Before any intrusive thoughts could make their way back to Hiram's mind, he caught sight of those perfectly pink lips of hers. Hiram nearly let out a small groan as Kate subconsciously bit down on her bottom lip. He wondered if they were still soft. Get a hold of yourself, man! Don't you even try. The rosy hue on Kate's face, courtesy of the Minnesota air, darkened slightly. Her grip on Hiram's arm tightened slightly as she became increasingly aware of what was running through his mind. Both Kate and Hiram were too lost in their own thoughts to realize that the latter was pulling the former closer to him.
But before either of them could fall off the precipice of their long forgotten desires, Kate felt a tug on the sleeve of her coat, causing the once star-crossed lovers to step apart. As much as Hiram didn't want to separate so soon from Katie after getting her back, he really needed to catch some air. As he tried to return to a normal breathing pattern, Hiram watched as Kate looked down to a very stern looking Laura. "Mother, Hiram took my doll!"
The younger Hiram stepped forward, looking just as cross as his sister, with tears in his eyes. "I did not! I asked you, didn't I?"
"Yes, and I said no. But you still took it anyway!" The pair began to squabble, and the older Hiram watched in slight amusement. He felt his lips begin to quirk upward, against his better judgement. He knew he shouldn't find this amusing, but there was something about the innocence of children that made it hard not to laugh. They were also Kate's children, so of course Hiram was going to feel a bit biased. As he watched the two argue, he began to wonder what they were like when they were little. They seemed to be a rather active bunch, with a knack of getting into mischief. They must've kept Katie on her toes. Hiram could just picture her running after the children, her beautiful, long hair falling out of place. It was an image that warmed his heart. But then old feelings started to creep up, feelings he hadn't felt since reading Kate's Letter. Feelings of regret, mostly. Hiram remembered laying awake at night, thinking that if he hadn't let Katie go, then the twins would've been his.
The intrusive thought creeped up on Hiram so suddenly, he could feel himself begin to disassociate from the scene in front of him. As he stared at the twins, all Hiram could think about was how different his life would've been if he didn't listen to his conscience. If he hadn't listened to his conscience, the age gap between himself and Kate wouldn't have been such an issue. Sure, he may have been a burden to her later on down the road, but at least he would've had a family. He wouldn't quite be able to run after them or roughhouse with them much, but he would sure try. Anything to be with Katie.
A stern voice broke Hiram out of his disassociation. "That is enough!" It took Hiram a few moments to bring himself back to reality completely before realizing that the voice belonged to Katie. His Katie. He stared at her in amazement. Who would have thought that this opinionated, yet soft spoken young woman could be so...authorative and strict. Hiram could tell that she was definitely related to Harriet Oleson in some way. But he supposed it came along with being a parent. Something he wasn't familiar with. And who's fault is that, hm? Hiram felt his face twitch slightly, to shoo the intrusive thoughts away. Thankfully, no one noticed. Bending down, Kate faced her son, speaking more softly this time. "Hiram Joseph, what's this all about?"
Huh, so that's where Joey came from. But why... Hiram didn't have to speculate as his younger counterpart spoke up again. "I only wanted to hold it. Honest. You told me that whenever I felt sad, I needed to hold onto something to hug with. And I was feelin' awfully sad, but I left Mr. Buttons in my trunk." The boy started to cry, and Hiram watched uneasily as Kate pulled him in for a hug, stroking his hair softly.
"Darling, don't cry. It's going to be alright now. But Mother told you to keep him out of your trunk before we left." That only made the boy cry harder.
"I'm sorry, Mama." Little Hiram's voice was barely above a whisper, but his namesake couldn't mistake it. As Katie whispered more comforting words to the lad, Hiram felt his heart swell. She truly was a natural around children. He should've known that when he saw her playing in the field with the Ingalls girls. Or how she doted on Carrie.
Pulling a handkerchief out of her pocket, Kate handed it to her son. Blow your nose." Not wanting to upset his mother, the young boy did as he was told as he began to calm down. "There now. Everything is going to be alright now. Mother will get Mr. Buttons when we get inside. But I want you to apologize to your sister. It's not nice to take things without asking her."
Hiram watched in amusement as the young boy's expression quickly turned from sadness to one of indignation. "But I did!"
"But she also told you no. How would you like it if she came up to you and took one of your trains?" Any trace of indignation on young Hiram's face disappeared, and his forlorn look returned. Looking down at his shoes, he gave no reply to his mother, who gently smiled at him. "I thought so. Now apologize to your sister."
"Yesum." Shifting slightly, the boy turned to look at his sister, holding the doll out to her. "I'm sorry, Laura." The girl only nodded, gently taking the doll back from her brother. Standing up, Kate smiled at both of her children.
"That's better. Now apologize to your brother, Laura." The girl's face, which remained passive throughout the ordeal, turned indigent.
"Me? But what did I do?"
"Laura, how many times have I told you and your brother not to tattle on each other unless it was important? Mother hates to see you quarrel, and I'm sure Papa wouldn't like it either." At the mention of their late father, Hiram observed both children deflate as guilt over his previous intrusive thoughts about being the twins' father . Little Laura's face fell for a moment, thinking about leaving it be. But being the stubborn great-niece of Harriet Oleson, along with being a naturally curious child, she decided to press ahead anyway.
"Many times, but-" Kate's expression fell as she gave a knowing look to her daughter.
"Now, Laura Adelaide." Once again, Hiram was impressed by Kate's natural ability to govern her children in a loving, but authoritative manner. Something that her aunt never really got the hang of. Yet at the same time, this was a side of Katie that he'd never seen before. And if he had to admit it to himself, Hiram found it a bit attractive. But he wasn't going to. So he watched Katie's daughter mumble an apology before being ushered inside by her great-aunt. As Nels and Willie took care of the luggage, Kate whispered more words of comfort to her son before he scampered after his sister.
With her back towards Hiram, Kate sighed as she watched her son go into the restaurant. What was she going to do with them? Before she could answer that herself, Kate heard someone clear their throat behind her. Acutely aware that she was now alone with Hiram, Kate felt an overwhelming sense of nervousness engulfed her. From what, she did not know. Maintaining her calm demeanor, Kate returned her attention to Hiram.
Neither one of them knew what to say without betraying any of their feelings. Both of them waited for the other to speak, but neither of them moved. Hiram stepped forward slightly, opening his mouth slightly, deciding to be bold for once in his life. He never was when he was courting Kate. She was the one that led their courtship dance, always approaching him with an inviting look on her face. Many people, including her incorrigible aunt, would have thought her too bold for her own good. After all, who ever heard of a woman courting a man? The very notion was laced with scandal in itself. According to the likes of Harriet Oleson, it was Kate's job to make herself look pretty and attract as many suitors as she could. Sure, Kate could charm any beaux that came along, even make sheep's eyes at them. But only from afar. Until any man made his intentions known towards her, she was not to give them the time of day. At least, that was the norm in the society in which she was the product of.
And while Kate had the many talents and attributes befitting a lady of her station, she wasn't exactly like the other girls. Unlike many of her friends back home, Kate had an unusual sense of confidence about her. Ever since she was a little girl, she always approached things with a certain gleam in her eye. A gleam that said, "I know what I want, and I'm not going to let anything stand in my way." It was something that she had in common with her prideful aunt. But unlike Harriet, Kate knew when to bow out gracefully. Compared to Harriet's confidence, Kate was never arrogant about it. Her confidence exuded grace and charm that would attract even the rudest person in the room. And it was something Hiram found rather beguiling. Even after being thrown from a horse and approaching the Ingalls' without any sense of embarrassment, the good doctor found himself smitten.
But if Hiram had taken a good look at himself, he would've realized he was becoming sweet on Katie earlier than that night at the Ingalls'. After he treated her ankle the day she came to Walnut Grove, Hiram found her to be a very charming young lady. A young lady he couldn't believe was related to Harriet Oleson. After all, she appeared rather demure and soft spoken. How long would she last in the same house with a woman who was known for her hot temper and vindictive nature? Hiram inwardly wished her good luck and hoped her aunt wouldn't scare her away. But that was that. He had no intention to court her, let alone develop any feelings for her. But slowly, Hiram found himself becoming more curious about the genteel young lady from Chicago. As the days crept by, he found himself visiting the mercantile more than usual, always making excuses. He would tend to go during the mercantile's busy moments, and stood off to the side under the guise of looking for a misplaced list of supplies. A list that never even existed in the first place. With both Harriet and Nels busy, Hiram wandered about the store, looking around. But what the married couple didn't know was that the good doctor was trying to catch sight of their young niece! If they knew the real reason for Hiram's visits to the mercantile...Why, it wouldn't take long for Harriet to sniff out the truth and become scandalized. And Nels? Well, he would just assume the doc was inquiring about her healing ankle. Which was what Hiram told Nels when the latter inquired about his business. Nels never suspected a thing. And Katie never made an appearance, even though Hiram could've sworn he saw her peeking from the staircase or from the Oleson's living room, with that impish grin of hers.
After that night at the Ingalls', Hiram suddenly found himself turning into an awkward schoolboy who was realizing that he was becoming stuck on a girl. Whenever he went into the mercantile, he found his heart fluttering with excitement over the prospects of seeing Katie. After her ankle healed somewhat, she began to help out in the store, always greeting Hiram with a smile, but never saying anything. Hiram made some attempts to speak with her then, but found himself unable to speak a coherent sentence. Katie's grin only grew as she watched Dr. Baker turn quite hastily from her and went straight to her uncle. But even then, she could still tell how nervous he was, fumbling around in his pockets, stuttering slightly. When Nels asked him if he was feeling alright, Hiram blamed it on the chilly air, even though it was spring.
After that, whenever Hiram went into the mercantile, he went straight to Nels without even glancing at Katie. Something that made her more curious about the man who chose to be a simple country doctor instead of one in a hospital in a big city. As time went on, even Kate could start to begin to feel something for the doc. Whenever he came into the mercantile, or passed by on the street, neither of them could resist stealing a glance at each other. Even in church, both of them found it hard to pay attention to Reverend Alden's sermon. But then again, both of them were sitting across the aisle from each other, with Kate sitting with her uncle, and Hiram with Lars Hanson. But Kate was the more composed, discreet of the pair. While she knew that there was a certain pair of blue eyes stealing glances at her, she never once looked at him. Though she was mighty tempted to, but bit her lip slightly whenever she felt the urge to. Hiram on the other hand, found himself beginning to have a slight panic attack. His hands became sweaty and twitched slightly at the sight of the brunette woman who was beginning to steal his heart. It didn't help that she sang every hymn with a gentleness that reminded him of his mother.
How that girl wasn't married yet, he would never know. Hiram wondered if she had a beau back home, and if this trip was all a ruse to get him to come a calling with a ring in hand. The mere thought of the idea made him feel an irrational itch of jealousy. But if she had a beau, why would she ask him to take her for a drive? If she had a beau, why would she agree to a picnic? She never once brought up the subject that day they went for a drive, and he wasn't bold enough to ask.
After that day, everything became a whirlwind. Hiram began to pursue Kate even more intensely, spending less time playing pinochle with Lars. All he could remember was declaring that he never felt so alive. It was that night that Hiram could admit to himself that he was falling in love with Nels and Harriet Oleson's niece. How could he not? Katie was so full of life, kind to everyone around her. She was a breath of fresh air, bringing a new perspective to Hiram's very existence.
Hiram could recall fondly the day joined him on his rounds. They made pleasant conversation as they made their way to the Olafsen's to check up on Helga and her sick son, not revealing a word about their feelings. As Hiram tended to the boy, Kate stood outside the room, watching with interest. She had to smile as Hiram gave the boy a peppermint stick, something she had always enjoyed as a child. But she became curious when Helga whispered something to Hiram, who only whispered back in response. As they began to leave, Kate had asked him what Helga was whispering about, to which Hiram teased that his lips were sealed due to the hippocratic oath. Kate only gave him a cheeky grin before walking outside.
Their next stop was to the Ingalls farm, to drop off gumdrops to the girls and to check up on Jack. Little Laura was at her mother's side when Caroline opened the door, the former delighted at the sight of a bag of gumdrops. Caroline had to scold her daughter for trying to eat one before supper before inviting both Hiram and Kate in for the evening. Hiram declined, but Caroline extended the offer, telling the both of them to come back soon. As Hiram was climbing back into his buggy, little Laura boldly asked if he and Kate were going to get married. He turned back to look at Laura, who was now being scolded once more by Caroline, before settling into the buggy without a word. Kate could only smile, which made him more nervous.
He wanted to tell her that he loved her, but he didn't know when. He wanted to be somewhere special, not in his buggy making his rounds. But even if they were somewhere else, Hiram didn't think he could pluck up the courage to tell her. Not with the uncertainty over how she felt about him. Would she laugh? Did she think he was too old for her? Hiram didn't know how he would handle the rejection, even though he knew that he was too old for her in the first place. And marriage? Hiram never dared to let his thoughts get that far.
As they made their way back into town, Hiram could feel himself become more anxious by the minute. Not only because of the beautiful young lady he was sitting next to, but also due to the fact that Laura had awakened feelings Hiram didn't even know he had. When Kate took the reins from him and forced the buggy into a stop, he looked at her, quite confused. She then proceeded to ask him if he was going to ask for her hand, which only caused a multitude of feelings to form inside him. She couldn't be serious, could she? Did she actually have feelings for him? "Kate, you don't mean it."
Her eyes softened, with a small hint of hurt in her eyes. Didn't he believe that she was being sincere and trying to convey her feelings? "But I do…" Hiram couldn't believe his ears. How could someone as young, pretty, and affluent as her could love someone like him? Someone who was getting on in years and had his fair share of wrinkles and grey hairs? He shook his head as she took his hand gently.
"You're too...I'm too...I'm too old for-"
"Hiram," her gentle yet firm voice took him by surprise, and he looked up to see her looking at him with such tenderness. "I never want to hear you say that again. I know you love me," she let out a small laugh. "Everybody knows it. I want you to tell me." Hiram looked at Kate with an equally tender look, not daring to question his luck. She was right about his feelings for her, of course. He was never the one to hide his emotions easily. Hiram wondered what gave it away. But did everyone in Hero Township know that he loved her? Was it really that obvious?
He wanted to protest, but he knew he wouldn't win the argument. There was no denying his feelings now, something he's been doing since the day she arrived. "I do. I do love you, Kate." Her eyes glimmered with happiness as she gave him a knowing smile.
"And I love you." Without knowing it, the two began to lean forward. And Hiram could feel his heart ready to burst from his chest. Could this really be happening? He hadn't kissed a girl since he was a young lad. What if he did it wrong? What if he became too overwhelmed and went overboard? What if she didn't like it? All of these thoughts disappeared as Kate's forehead bumped into his hat. Glancing up briefly, both of them chuckled before finally letting their lips touch. All of Hiram's insecurities melted the minute he felt Kate's soft lips on his own. His confidence grew as she let out a sigh, and he deepened the kiss slightly as he reached up to cup her face.Are you insane, man?
He could feel Kate reach up to cup his face, but they were interrupted by someone shouting. Reluctantly pulling away from each other, they both turned to look who was calling out the doc's name. Not wanting to expose a private moment between the two of them, Hiram and Kate lowered their hands. The man on the horse informed Hiram that a young boy broke his leg badly after falling off the barn. And before either of them knew it, the buggy was speeding down the bumpy path, with Kate gripping onto Hiram for dear life. "You still haven't asked me!"
Blast it! Hiram completely forgot about why he and Kate were talking in the first place. Not even thinking about it, he shouted back, "Kate Thorvald, will you marry me?!"
"You bet I will!" The two only laughed as they raced to help Hiram's next patient. It was after that day that became a blur for Hiram. The next day, he took some time to rise in the morning, contemplating what had happened.
He finally told Kate that he loved her, after weeks of suppressing his feelings. He didn't regret it, of course, as Hiram had been wanting to tell her for a while now. He was afraid that if he didn't say something to her, he would go mad and lose his nerve. Although, if Laura and Kate hadn't gently coaxed Hiram, the good doctor might not have said anything at all. Hiram had always been a rather reserved and somewhat shy individual. At least, that's what he was like before entering the medical profession. He was never one to go up to people and start a conversation growing up or when he was in school. Hiram always supposed it was because he always kept his nose in his books and focused on his studies. After practicing medicine for so many years, Hiram grew accustomed to conversing with others outside of their medical care. But even now, he still had trouble becoming vulnerable and revealing his true feelings. He tended to make excuses to cover up what he was really feeling. Hiram reckoned it was a good thing Laura Ingalls let curiosity get the best of her, for if she didn't, Kate wouldn't have spoken up. And if Kate never would have spoken up, he would've gone her entire visit without telling her how he felt. He would have resorted to loving her from afar.
After mulling on these thoughts, Hiram mosied on down to the mercantile in hopes to find something special for Kate. Nobody in town knew what transpired between them yesterday, therefore no one knew about their engagement. Hiram knew that Kate wouldn't have told her aunt and uncle quite yet, considering the hysteria Harriet Oleson would feel. Not that Hiram minded, of course. He wanted to keep it private for now, to allow him and Katie more tender alone time before everyone started to make a fuss. But he still figured she deserved a ring. So he went when the mercantile was quiet in order to avoid suspicion. No one was around as he stood outside the mercantile, making sure everything was clear. And no one was in the store when he quietly walked in. Peering into Oleson's jewelry case, Hiram argued with himself over what kind of ring to get Katie. He stood there, hunched over for what seemed like eternity until Charles Ingalls nearly scared the living daylights out of him. "How are you doing, Doc?"
It was then Hiram knew he was in trouble. Charles always had the knack for picking up on things nobody else would. Did Charles know what his motives were? Kate mentioned that practically everyone in Walnut Grove knew that Doc Baker loved her. Hiram had a sneaking suspicion that this was true, given the fact that whenever he stopped to talk with Charles or Caroline, they would always inquire about Katie, going on about how much of a wonderful young lady she was, and how much the girls loved her. Something that always made Hiram blush slightly. If Charles knew why he was there, then Hiram was in trouble. Of course, if Charles did know, then Hiram could trust him to keep their secret. But Charles also liked to tease people, and it made Hiram feel a bit uncomfortable knowing that the privacy he wanted for himself and Kate was now spoiled. Plus, it reminded him about the time when he was a young lad growing up. Hiram had feelings for one of the girls in his class, but when some of the other boys found out, they teased him for weeks. Unfortunately, the girl found out and completely snubbed Hiram, for reasons he never knew.
Of course, this time was different. Kate knew about his feelings, and even returned them. But still, something this personal wasn't something Hiram felt comfortable being teased about. It reminded him too much of what happened years ago. Hiram looked at Charles briefly before returning his gaze to the jewelry case. "Hello Ingalls." But then Hiram realized he was making his intentions obvious by staring at the jewelry, so he looked back up. "Where's Oleson?" At least with Nels around, Hiram wouldn't have to put on such a facade. He could say he was looking for a new pair of cufflinks, yet look for a ring for Kate at the same time. It was ingenious. Charles informed him that the man in question was back in the storeroom looking for a pull axe handle Charles had ordered.
"I didn't know you were interested in jewelry." An ominous feeling crept over Hiram, and he started to become apprehensive. Cursing himself inwardly for not showing more discretion, Hiram avoided Charles' gaze like the plague. He mentioned that he was only browsing, hoping that would ease Charle's suspicions. "He's got some nice cufflinks." There, maybe mentioning the cufflinks will cover Hiram's trail. When Charles agreed, Hiram inwardly let out a sigh of relief. He was safe, or so he thought. Hiram's moment of peace didn't last long, as Charles proceeded to point out a lady's pendant, before mentioning the rings. "A man could use a ring like that for an engagement ring." Charles had a heck of a time holding back a laugh as he watched Doc Baker squirm. He remembered at supper yesterday, Laura confidently told everyone that she thought Doc Baker and Katie were going to get married someday.
Caroline scolded her for trying to pry into other people's business and spreading rumors, but Charles could only laugh. "Oh, come on Caroline, don't you think there might be some truth to what Laura is saying? You saw the way he keeps looking at her. I wouldn't be surprised if he's already popped the question."
Caroline opened her mouth in protest, slightly scandalized. "Charles, they've only known each other for a few weeks! You can't possibly believe-"
"But I can, Caroline. Almost every Sunday in church we hear about how love is the greatest gift God gave us. Who's to say they don't already love each other?" Each time Charles replayed that conversation and Caroline's protests in his head, he couldn't help but laugh. Something deep down inside him told him that the doc had already asked the Olesons' niece. Charles wasn't blind, he saw the way the doc looked at her in public, how he acted like a bashful schoolboy. And like Mary, he noticed that night at dinner, Doc couldn't stop staring into Miss. Thorvald's eyes. But he chose not to say anything then, and he wasn't going to say anything now, despite his amusement.
The sound of Nels' voice broke Hiram out of his reverie, sparing him any more embarrassment caused by Charles. As Nels informed Charles that the ax handle could not be found, Hiram glanced around, trying to find a way to sneak out without being noticed. But once again, Charles found a way to make him squirm. "Besides, the doc's here waiting. He wants to get himself a pair of cufflinks." Giving the Doc one last grin, Charles patted his back before leaving the store. Nels, who still had no indication of Hiram's real intentions, came over eagerly and opened the case.
"Cufflinks, Oleson. Cufflinks." Despite being alone with Nels, Hiram couldn't shake the feeling that Charles knew something. Feeling a bit paranoid that Nels might now know what his intentions were, Hiram left the mercantile without a ring. Trying to get his mind off of the pressure of finding the perfect ring for Kate, Hiram decided to make his rounds, despite the lack of ill patients.
After his rounds, Hiram went back home to his room above the post office. After shrugging off his jacket and hat, Hiram could feel the wheels in his brain begin to turn. There had to be something he could use to make a ring for Katie. Then it came to him. Smirking, he went into his wardrobe and grabbed a wooden box. Sitting down at his desk, he pulled out two of his daddy's watch chains. After deciding which one he thought looked better, he took a pair of pliers from his black bag and put his plan into motion. It was going to be the perfect gift for Katie. Something he'd hoped to give to her at the Oleson's party on Saturday.
That night happened to be the perfect spring night. The weather was just right, and Harriet's decorating proved to be impeccable as ever. People mingled with one another both inside in the living room and outside on the Olesons' lawn. But most of all, Kate looked absolutely beautiful. When she greeted Hiram at the door in that velvet red dress with a floral shawl, a gold cameo necklace, and a magnificent jeweled netting piece in her hair, it nearly knocked the wind out of Hiram. She was absolutely stunning. But nothing looked more appealing than her sparkling brown eyes and dimple revealing grin. It took all of Hiram's self-control to keep himself from pulling Kate into his arms and kissing her.
After mingling with a few people, the pair stepped outside to cool down. As Hiram gently led Katie by on his arm, Hiram did his best to keep himself from looking like a nervous wreck. He didn't know why he was feeling nervous. He had already asked her to marry him, and she said yes. But what if she didn't like the ring? Would she be expecting a more extravagant ring? He remembered taking a deep breath to steady his nerves before taking out the ring from a handkerchief. "It isn't much, Kate. I'll get you a better one. But I wanted you to have this for now."
He could remember seeing her eyes light up like a firefly, with tears forming. His heart swelled with pride as she gasped slightly. "Oh Hiram!"
"It's from one of my daddy's watch chains." Seeing Kate smile softly and running her finger over the ring made him feel like he was the luckiest man on earth. She went on to gush how much she loved it, true appreciation glimmering from her eyes. Despite being raised in an upper class society that treated the girls like porcelain dolls, Kate really did love the ring. After spending most of her life receiving plenty of expensive gifts, she truly admired its simplicity. Kate knew that Hiram put his heart and soul into making it, and that's what mattered to her. "I looked at your uncle's rings, but I just couldn't find one I-" Hiram shook his head before Kate interrupted him.
"Oh no, Hiram, it's lovely! You made it." After insisting he put the ring on her finger, Kate let out another laugh. "It fits." The two stared at each other, completely disassociating from the outside world. What happened next was a blur. All Hiram could remember was sharing a kiss with Kate before she insisted they return inside and tell everyone. She practically had to drag him inside. And Hiram never felt more nervous. This was the last place he wanted to announce their engagement, in front of all of those people. He wasn't fond of public speaking, and wondered why all of those people outside of his friends had to know. But Kate was so ecstatic about becoming his wife, that she wanted everyone to know. She wanted everyone to know how happy he made her, and she made him. She held his hand the entire time, squeezing it gently for reassurance.
He wasn't sure how he made it through his speech without fainting. The way everyone was looking at him expectedly made him feel even more of a nervous wreck, as if they were expecting what was coming. At least, that's the way Charles Ingalls looked. He was even bold enough to inquire what Kate's answer was. His comment left Hiram slightly speechless before gleefully announcing that she said yes. The room erupted in applause, apart from Harriet Oleson, who turned away, quite scandalized. Hiram couldn't remember what happened next after the party. He was on cloud 9. For the next few days, he didn't care about anything else.
But things started to go downhill without either of them realizing it. It started out with Kate and Hiram going to Lars with plans to build a house. Lars agreed to help, saying that the "doc can't hammer a nail without smashing his thumb." Charles was also recruited by Hanson, who stated that the "happy couple is talking house, a big one."
What Kate said next unknowingly planted doubts in Hiram's mind. "For a big family." He chastised her lightly, thinking that she was just teasing. Of course, he wanted to have a family with Kate. He could just picture her sitting in a rocking chair on their porch, stroking her growing abdomen softly. He could also see her bouncing a baby on her hip happily as they waited for him to come home. They'd be standing on the porch as he'd pull up in his buggy, eagerly awaiting to greet him. He'd walk up the yard and bound up the stairs happily, taking off his hat and kissing his wife before taking the baby into his arms. It was the perfect dream.
But that was early on in their engagement. None of the doubts he had towards the end were present. A sense of uneasiness prickled in the back of Hiram's mind when Kate mentioned she wanted a big family, but he ignored it. He's seen this before. Newly engaged and married women look forward to having as many children as possible, only for them to decide two or three is enough. Hiram just assumed Kate meant it that way, thinking that one or two will keep her occupied and on her toes.
That Saturday, the both of them went to the Ingalls' place to have supper once more. They arrived early in the afternoon, so Doc could get some fishing in with Charles. Despite the ominous feeling he had the other day at Hanson's, Hiram was still on cloud 9. "You know, I still can't believe it? She's made such a difference in my life. Like I've been asleep."
"Well Doc, it lasts, and it'll only get better."
"Yep. I feel younger. I just wish I was for her sake." And there it was. Hiram wasn't sure when the doubts about their age difference started, but now it was clearly visible. He still had the nonchalance he had back when he broke down in front of Lars during a game of pinochle. Except now it was beginning to bother him some. Charles reassured him that Kate doesn't seem bothered, therefore he shouldn't be bothered. Before Hiram could respond, a fish hooked itself onto his fishing pole, putting all of Hiram's doubts at bay.
They walked back to the little house to find Mary and Laura running with Kate in the field, playing what appeared to be baseball of some sorts. Hiram could only look fondly at Kate as she hollered and played with the girls, her hair finally down from her cumbersome bun. There was no doubt that she would make a great mother. But then Charles said those ill-fated words. "You've got your bride-to-be running around like a kid." Hiram remained uneasy the whole night, especially after Laura said that she was looking for grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
That's when Hiram's words came back to haunt him. "Including if we did marry, have children. They'd be more like my grandchildren." Reality was starting to sink in on him. He was already nearing 50. If he had children with Katie, would he even be alive to see them grow up, get married, and have their own children? When his body began to slow down, how would Kate manage? Who would look after her and the children after he was gone? Hiram found himself with a devil on one shoulder, and an angel on the other. He began to wrestle with not only the truth, but with his selfishness as well.
Dinner was uncomfortable for him, to say the least. But the ride back into town was more unnerving. He barely talked much as Kate laid her head on his shoulder. He listened to her as she joyfully went on about the Ingalls girls, hoping they would have children just like them. Hiram could only force a tight lipped smile as the doubts became bigger and bigger. He only said six words to her, according to Katie. Six words that he already forgot. But they must've given some indication that something wasn't well between them, and she confronted him about it the next day. "I think I know what you're trying to say. And I'm not sure that I want to hear it. Have you stopped loving me?" Hiram felt crushed when she asked him that without a second thought. He never felt more hurt in his life. Of course he still loved her. Whether he had doubts about their age or not, he'd always love her. But it wasn't that simple.
Before he could reply, Charles burst into the office, saying that Helga was in labor. He mentioned that Caroline was willing to assist, but Kate intervened, saying that she'd be doing the helping. When Hiram questioned her about it, she stated that since she was going to be a doctor's wife, she should start helping and getting used to it. On the way to the Olafsen farm, Hiram thought about what she said, and it struck him rather uncomfortably. The way she stated that made it sound like she was trying to change herself in order to stay with him. Before Charles came into the office, Hiram was about to mention that sooner or later, the both of them needed to face the truth.
The next few hours were a blur, and after a somewhat difficult delivery, Helga gave birth to a healthy daughter. When asked if Helga gave her mother a difficult time as well, reality hit Hiram like a freight train. He forgot he delivered both Helga and her husband. He looked back at Kate briefly, seeing the troubled look in her eyes. She and Helga were roughly the same age, she reckoned. But now she fully understood what Hiram was trying to say earlier, and she could already feel her heart starting to break.
The ride home was uneventful. Hiram fell asleep, or so Katie told him. But both of them knew what was coming. Kate tried to leave without facing the truth with Hiram, but he couldn't let her go with that on his conscience. While his own heart was breaking over the fact that he was hurting her, he knew he would feel better if he gave her an explanation. She deserved that.
After all of these years, he couldn't remember exactly how the conversation went. Only that he told her he was old enough to be her father, and that she had her whole life ahead of her while he was nearing the end of his. The worst thing about the whole ordeal, besides her running away from him, was the look in her eyes when he told her it was over. She silently agreed it was for the best, but the look in her eyes pleaded with him, asking him to change his mind. Her heart broke right in front of him, and Hiram felt like throwing up.
He helped her down, and they held each other one last time. "I still wish...I still think we could have had a good marriage." Hiram gave her a sad smile.
"For me...Not for you." He watched as she took her gloves off, exposing her ring finger. His own hands shakily grasped hers as she fiddled with the ring. She told him that she would like to keep the ring to remember him by. "It was made for you. It would never fit anyone else." The thought of Hiram with another woman, an older woman closer to his age, was too much for Kate. Suddenly, his gentle touch suddenly felt like fire, and she pulled away, as if she'd just been scalded. But not before kissing Hiram one last time, running into the Oleson's living room. Hiram didn't even try to stop her, or say anything to her.
That night he didn't sleep well. Instead of dreams of Katie holding a blonde haired baby with brown eyes and a button nose, there was nothing but nightmares. And all of them involved Kate in some sort of way. At one point, Hiram got up in the middle of the night just to get away from those intrusive thoughts telling him to go to the mercantile and beg her for forgiveness. At some forsaken hour, Hiram seriously contemplated it. But he could feel himself slowly descending into madness, and forced himself to go back to sleep before he started taking out his frustration on his furniture.
He woke up early, sensing that Kate was leaving that day. He wanted to go out and wait for the stage with the others, but that meant he would have to face Katie, and her silent voice of treason. If Hiram went down there, he didn't think he could live with himself. So he stayed cooped up in his bedroom, peaking through the lace curtains. He found himself pacing back and forth, waiting for Katie to emerge from the mercantile with her aunt and uncle. The irrational side of him hoped that she would change her mind and stay. And her delayed absence outside of the post office was giving him false hope. But then he saw three figures walking from the direction of the mercantile, and Hiram pulled away, feeling an immense wave of grief. Get it together, man. You're doing this for her.
After collecting himself, Hiram went back to the window. By this time, the stage was already here. And Kate was saying her goodbyes to Nels and Harriet. Grasping at the window pane, Hiram watched sadly as Kate was helped into the stage. At one point, he swore he could see her looking right at his window. But then she looked away. As the stage slowly started its way out of Walnut Grove, Hiram felt like he was being stabbed with a thousand glass knives, sending a chill down his spine. He had a sudden urge to toss his window open, and cry out Kate's name. He felt like jumping out of that two story window, the consequences be damned, and pull Katie out of that cursed stage that was about to wheel her out of his life. Forever.
But now here she was, standing in front of himself once more. Her expression was hard to read, but her doe-like eyes never wavered. Oh, how much Hiram wished she would look away. Despite having a neutral expression, the very way Kate was looking at him was unnerving. It was enough for him to lose his confidence to be bold. And once again, Hiram found himself like the awkward schoolboy he was when he was first courting her, not wanting to speak lest he made a fool out of himself. As Hiram treaded carefully over the flood of old memories that were raging against him, Kate stepped forward slightly, with a broken smile on her face. "Hello, Hiram."