Note/implied sexual references warning:
the majority of this chapter was edited to remove the smut/explicit content in it, so if you want to read the uncensored version, search up this fic/my user on ao3. but if the events in this chapter don't make the most sense/are paced weirdly, this is why.
Shouto Todoroki
Lifting his knees onto the bed, Todoroki positioned himself atop Bakugou while twirling their tongues together. Wet notes streamed from the jostling of their tongues as their lips glided back and forth. The faint hums of their hot breaths whistled through the syrupy sounds of their avid mouths.
Despite having engaged in the rapturing kiss, Bakugou tore his lips away and growled, "Maybe I did." He locked their lips into a warm, wet embrace again; fragile, thin threads of their saliva continued to unite them once their lips had parted. "What, you jealous?" He offered a cruel, nasty smirk while his hands crawled up Todoroki's shirt.
Maybe, Todoroki thought to himself while his hands traipsed over Bakugou's sides. Maybe, just to try and hold on to this relationship, I'm doing this. I don't understand my feelings, but I know I want this, no matter how much I'll regret it later. Why is it that the things I want are always so terrible for me, but the things I don't want are the things that are normal? I wonder… Which blade cuts deeper? The addicting blades in my wrists, or the enchanting blade that this love has become? Fully aware of the consequences, I indulge in all these regrets, beat myself up and hate myself afterward, and then I start the cycle again because it's the only way for me to get a reprieve or feel another high. Even though it's all slowly killing me, it's my only way of getting by, so I'll keep doing it again and again until I can't anymore. It's a long way down…so why not keep going up?
Cold lust glazed over Todoroki's eyes as he swiftly stripped Bakugou's shirt off without hesitation or warning. Before Bakugou could vociferate his irate thoughts, however, Todoroki pinned him against the wall so that Bakugou's bare chest was pressed to the cool, bumpy surface.
"I fucking hate you," Bakugou snapped. "Why did you start acting like I was just a ghost to you?" He glanced over his shoulder to Todoroki. "Gimme a fuckin' break." He squirmed as though to test for an approximation of Todoroki's current strength and reflexes.
With a matte, dour countenance, Todoroki noted how Bakugou's expression crinkled up a bit. "Kat—"
"Don't call me that shit," hissed the beast with vermillion eyes.
"I'll call you whatever I want," Todoroki retaliated without emotion. "I've told you this again and again, my little cheater… Hgg. I was sleeping, so I couldn't pick up my phone. I didn't mean to ignore you." He rested himself against Bakugou's back.
Bakugou's breaths became heavier. "Asshole. You keep…hah…saying that bullshit lie." His sticky hips stirred around.
Do I tell him the truth? Todoroki pondered. No. There's no point. I'll keep holding my tongue. But I want to have some fun with him.
Bakugou writhed and grunted at Todoroki's torturously tantalizing touch. "Hey, Katsuki…since you've had your fun with me for all this time, I think it's time I had some fun with you." A sonorous huff poured from Todoroki's throat. "But it's not…nn….bullshit, my little cheater."
"Ngh! Stop…calling me that!" Bakugou threatened to perforate the sheets with his nails. "And I…already told you that you're…one helluva light sleeper! ASSHOLE! Fuck! You!"
"You already did that enough," Todoroki spat with rimy words.
The entirety of Bakugou's body was sweating and trembling beneath and around Todoroki as he groaned, "You… Fuck, that fucking hurts! You loved…every fucking second of it!"
"Funny… Since you can't even…stay loyal to one person, it seems like…you'd do anyone. Gh!"
"I hate you," Bakugou snapped with a wry lour. "Ugh! What the fuck…are you…doing?! This whole…fucking mess! Is all! Your! Fucking fault!"
"You didn't think…to check if I was okay?" Todoroki hissed, but he lambasted himself for the fact that he'd dredged up his own feelings into his words. "You… Gh! I trusted you with everything…I had…and you ran off to be…with Kirishima. I hate you for that… I hate you for that. But…" He grimaced and collapsed atop Bakugou before forcing another kiss upon their lips.
Bakugou slipped his demanding hands into Todoroki's shirt before breaking their kiss to strip the shirt off. He caught a glimpse of how Todoroki's split, wet lips panted for more affection, and perhaps it was a twinge of guilt that fueled his next course of action, but he swallowed those lips without hesitation. Huffing hot, humid breaths against Todoroki's face, he growled into the kiss as he forced Todoroki down against the bed to reverse their positions.
I still want to be the one you stay loyal to, Todoroki realized as his lips were severed from the intoxicating taste of Bakugou's lips. I know what you want. Even though I know you've also done Kirishima, I still want you to be mine. I guess…it's still fine. It hurts, though. He reluctantly allowed Bakugou to proceed, and with frost varnishing over his senses, he could only sigh as Bakugou began his work. It feels good, but I just can't enjoy it like I did before. Not when I know the truth. Todoroki exhaled sharply while his voice leaked into his breaths.
Leaning back against the wall, Bakugou slowly drew his head back before he pulled Todoroki into his chest; a yelp of pain clawed through the reverberating gasp Todoroki expelled. "But what?" panted Bakugou while he kept Todoroki tight to his chest.
Todoroki capitulated to Bakugou's complete control while melting into the endearing, unrelenting touch of the ash-blonde. Todoroki had never experienced such excruciating sensations before, but his chest felt numb, and his insides were set aflame each time that Bakugou moved. Lightheadedness and the feeling of numb weightlessness permeated Todoroki's flesh and dug into his bones while the world was stained with white. Despite the zesty brio of Bakugou's rough touch that dominated his entire being, it was as though each motion simply served to hollow Todoroki out from the inside. Though the flames they shared may have ravenously erupted and spilled their ethereal embers onto the sheets, the source was gradually eaten away until unfeeling ashes were all that remained.
Todoroki knew how much Bakugou adored the dirty, sly smirks he'd flash, but he only managed to evince his exuberance through his breaths. "No matter what I…do! I just…can't completely…hate you. I still! Hah… I still… Love you…" He attempted to plaster on a seductive smirk, but much to his chagrin and bemusement, the asinine attempt punctured his eyes with salty, crystalline javelins.
Why is it so difficult to hold back my tears when I'm not even sad? Todoroki cogitated while Bakugou forcibly decimated his senses into a sizzling mush. I—oh—don't even know how to describe what I'm feeling. It feels like I can't feel anything, yet it also feels like every feeling I know is weighing me down. Above that, though, I can't deny that this always feels good. It's better than constantly feeling empty, but that's not why I want it. Ardent surges of unhinged ecstasy throbbed through Todoroki's scalding body as though his bones had been daubed with numbness. I love him. Even though he cheated on me…he's my cheater.
"Doesn't change…the fact that! Augh… This is all your…fucking fault," Bakugou sibilated with immense yet suppressed vehemence and vitriol. "So, oi… Tell me the truth!"
Todoroki couldn't deny that he'd desiderated the feeling of his partner's passion. The sensations that had filled up his burning body, however, could not penetrate the seemingly interminable emptiness inside of him.
Steaming breaths dripped from their lips as Bakugou laid Todoroki back against the bed. Yet, as the sound of their exhausted panting swelled around them, Bakugou pinned his partner down by the shoulders. His brows lowered as disconcertment licked his countenance, but he nonetheless proceeded to lick over Todoroki's chest before biting and sucking around Todoroki's neck.
Todoroki closed his eyes in an endeavor to retain his tears while Bakugou gnawed into his flesh. "I…already did," Todoroki huffed, but his answer was promptly rewarded with his hands being pinned to the bed as his burning, gleaming body seemed to breathe independently of him.
"Bullshit," snarled the acrimonious beast that loomed over him with bared fangs and glistening brows. "Why…do you have these, huh?" His thumbs gently brushed over the bandages around Todoroki's wrists. "Tell me…"