Chapter One

Now

Steph POV:

"Come on." Lester groaned, dragging me from the couch to my bedroom. "Get dressed, you're coming out with us."

"Les..." I groaned.

"It's been a long week, and after all, you could use a drink. Maybe find a warm body to share a bed with this cold night." He said waggling his eyebrows at me.

I laughed and pushed him out of the room and shut the door. "I'll be in the living room Beautiful." He called.

I shook my head, tied my hair up in a messy bun, and pulled on a sweater, finding a pair of skinny jeans I yanked them on, working them over my hips. Even though they were tight, I didn't have any problem buttoning them, a development that had started two years ago. Even after binge eating tastykakes, I could still slip into a tight pair of jeans. I pulled on a pair of doc martens.

Joining Les in the living room he grinned at me. "Well, you didn't have to dress up for us Beautiful."

"Oh, shut up Lester." I groaned. He chuckled, pulling on his winter coat.

I turned on the alarm and locked the door behind us. He escorted me down the two flights of stairs and out onto the busy streets of New York. It was snowing lightly, not heavy enough to accumulate but enough to sit on our shoulders and heads. His hand at the small of my back, he walked with me two blocks down to our regular meet.

I shook off my jacket walking inside and hung it in the entrance. Les followed me back to our normal booth in the back. Tank, Bobby, Hawk, Jericho, and Smoke were already sitting in the booth. I slid in next to Tank and he wrapped his arm around me.

"Finally you're here." Tank grinned.

I rolled my eyes and stole one of the wings from the plate in front of him. He sent me a glare without any heat behind it. The waitress came over and took mine and Lester's orders before making her way back behind the bar.

We were laughing at a story Hawk was telling, when I saw his silhouette. I did a double-take, it couldn't have been him. He had left the city two years ago. Said he wouldn't be coming back. I sat up a little straighter, confirming my suspicions.

"How long have y'all known?" I asked the table at large, my voice soft but they all heard it.

Les froze across from me, and I felt Tank's hand on my shoulder tense. "Beautiful..."

"Tell me," I said locking eyes with him. He wouldn't meet my gaze.

"Two weeks." Tank answered from beside me.

"Nobody told me?" I asked.

"We didn't figure you would run into him. New York is a big city." Jericho said from across the table. I shook my head and sighed.

"I'm going to go and say Hi."

"You sure?" Tank asked as I got up.

"Yeah, we need to talk anyway," I told him. He nodded. All of their eyes followed me as I walked to the bar. I slid onto the stool next to him and motioned for the bartender to bring me another drink.

"How've you been?" I asked him softly. He turned to look at me.

"Babe." He straightened and looked at me. "I've.. I've been missing you."

I snorted. "It's been two years."

"And I've been a dumbass."

"I won't argue with you about that."

He smiled softly. "You've never failed to make me smile." He said.

I cleared my throat, trying to get us off that topic, I wasn't in the mood to reminisce about the past. . "What're you doing back?"

"I guess you won't take I've missed you for an answer? I want you back." He said, turning his stool to look at me.

I noticed the subtle changes in him. Eyes wiser, tiny crows feet started at the corners of his eyes, strands of grey in his short hair. "Ranger."

I saw him wince at that name. It had been a long time since I had called him that. Not since I had left Trenton five years ago. He was the one who had thrown away our three-year relationship, not me. I was trying so hard to stay mad at him, but that had always been so hard for me.

"You're the one who left," I said turning to face him.

"Like I said I'm a dumbass."

I harrumphed. "At least we agree on something." I cleared my throat. "I have a box of your stuff at my apartment if you want to come to get it."

His eyes roamed over me, darkening before flicking up to mine. I rolled my eyes. "That wasn't an invitation. I want you to come to get your shit."

He nodded. "I'll..."

"Come get them in the morning. Tank can give you my address. I'm not working tomorrow." I stood from the stool, dropping a fifty on the counter to cover his tab.

I waved to the guys at the booth and snagged my jacket out of the entrance. I stepped outside glad for the cold wind, it was refreshing. I had to stand strong against him, after he left I was broken, and I was still putting all the pieces back.

He was familiar and comforting, but I couldn't fall back into that. I wouldn't be able to survive it if he left me again. I had to protect myself, protect my heart from the one man I always thought I could trust with it.

I walked the two blocks to my building, I stood typing in the code opening the door, I walked up the stairs. I opened my door and stepped inside, disabling the alarm. I tossed my jacket onto the back of the couch and opened the closet door. Inside was a box, I pulled it out and carried it to the table.

Inside was everything he had left at our apartment or given me. I couldn't bear to look at them after he left and I didn't know why I had decided to now. On top was a picture of the two of us. His arms were wrapped around me from behind, a faint smile on his face as he looked down at me, my head was turned so I could look over my shoulder at him, a broad smile covering my face, my hands resting over the top of his. This picture was from the office Christmas party four years ago.

"We were so happy," I said tracing our faces in the picture.

I sifted through the box as far as I could before piling it all back in. The emotions are too much to keep shoving down. I felt a tear track down my cheek. My intercom buzzed and I walked to the door, wiping the tears away.

"Who is it?"

"It's Tank, Steph."

"Come on up." I sighed softly.

I unlocked the door and stood waiting for him. He bounded up the stairs and met my eyes with a sad smile. I let him in, shutting the door behind him. Tank's form took up most of the doorway as he stepped out into the living room.

"You okay?"

"I have to be," I told him. "Tank, do you know where he's living?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you take this to him?" I said, motioning to the box.

"You don't want to do it yourself?"

"No." I shook my head, before pausing. "Is he coming back?"

"He said permanently."

I nodded. "I'll be fine Tank, thank you for checking on me."

He nodded, picking up the box before heading out. I locked up behind him before making my way to bed. I was going to try and forget this before morning.

Then...

I walked into the kitchen to find Carlos cooking. I smiled softly, despite having a bad day. He covered the food, turning it down and turning to me. He picked me up, setting me on the counter.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and tucked my head under his chin. "You okay, Babe?"

"People's business is hard," I told him.

He chuckled. "You wanted to be head of public relations."

I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see it. "Contracts and estimates are fine. It's when they call to complain about stupid crap."

He chuckled again. "How about I go start you a hot bath, and you watch the food for a minute?"

"I'll run it. If I watch the food, something will go wrong."

"Don't doubt yourself, babe." He said. I leaned up and kissed him softly before he allowed me to slip off the counter. I went to the bathroom and ran a bath. Slipping in, I relaxed into the jacuzzi, the jets working the tension out of my body.

I heard Carlos come in and then the rustle of clothes. "Coming to join me?" I asked him.

"Can't allow my woman to bathe by herself." He answered.

I laughed softly and moved forward so he could slip in behind me. I settled back against him and he kissed my temple. "I love you, Babe."

"I love you too."

Now…

I didn't know what had happened to that. Happened to us, but I knew that it had ruined me. There was no way I could survive another heartbreak like that.

Carlos POV:

Tank stood at my door with a box in his hands. I let him in as my heart sank. I was hoping to see her tomorrow and try and talk to her. He put the box on the coffee table. He gave me a sympathetic look.

"I'm sorry man."

"It's my fault," I told him, rubbing a hand over my face.

"It is, and you're a dumbass." He said.

"Like I don't know that," I grumbled.

He sat on the couch and I took the seat next to him. "How's she been?"

"She's done a lot since you left. That's why New York is the most successful office."

I nodded. "I know."

"What are you going to do?" He asked me.

"I don't know. I want her back but I don't think she's going to take me back."

"You really fucked up." He informed me.

"I know."

"Don't fuck up again." He said. I nodded.

XXXXXX

Rangeman New York worked out of two buildings. One building was the control center and the other handled all affairs with clients, internal affairs, and the other offices. Stephanie was the head of the office, therefore her office resided in the second building.

I jogged across the street avoiding traffic as I did. I walked into the building and straightened out my suit jacket. It had been two days since I had seen her at the bar. I knew she was working today and made sure she was in the office before making the trip.

I held a file in my hand full of signed contracts. Sure I could have sent them over with one of the guys but I wanted to see her. I took the elevator up to the fifth floor and walked across the floor. All of the men on the floor stared at me.

She had a secretary sitting at her desk in front of her office. "Mr. Manoso." She said, How can I help you?"

"I'm here to see Miss. Plum."

"Hmmm." She said, clicking on her computer. "Her schedule is booked."

"I think she can make time for the CEO."

She sent me a glare and stood. She walked to the door and knocked, opening it when Steph called for her. She said something I didn't hear before holding the door open for me.

"Mr. Manoso." Stephanie greeted me from behind her desk. The door was shut behind me.

"I wanted to bring these over to you Babe."

"Thank you." She said, taking the file from me and setting it on her desk. She turned back to her computer and paused.

"Was there something else you needed Mr. Manoso?"

"Cut that out," I grumbled. I saw the corner of her mouth tip-up.

"Ranger, I presume then?"

"I preferred when it was Carlos, but we can work back towards that," I said. She sent me a glare.

"Is there anything else I can help you with?" She growled softly.

I sat in the chair across the desk from her. "I'm sorry."

I watched her stiffen. "Sorry doesn't fix anything."

"I know," I told her. She turned to look at me.

"I know you would prefer me to just run back into your arms and tell you I still love you, and that I want to be with you." She said, "But that's not how real life works."

"Steph, Babe, I really am sorry. I've missed you these past two years. I just... I just want to talk. Please?"

She sighed. "Let me think about it."

"Thank you, Babe."

"I'll let you know when we can talk." She said, I nodded, standing.

"I still love you." I said before opening the door, as I shut it I think I heard 'I've always loved you.

XXXXXX

Steph POV:

Then

Carlos opened the door for me and I smiled walking in. He pulled me close, tucking my hand into his elbow as we were escorted to our table. He pulled out my chair and pushed me back to the table, leaning down to kiss me softly before venturing to the other side.

"Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight Babe?"

I smiled. "I'm sure you have, but you can keep telling me."

He chuckled, taking my hand and holding it over the table. "I'll remember that Babe."

We ordered our food, Carlos and I bantered back and forth, talking about everything and nothing. Every now and then there was a lull in the conversation, so I took that time to study him. His shoulders were tense, his eyes pinched, he looked older than normal, stressed. When we got home I would ask him what was wrong, maybe something at work. I knew he was working on a hard case right now. Near the end of our meal, Carlos squeezed my hand.

"Yes?"

"Babe, I've got to talk to you about something."

I sat up a little straighter. "Yes?"

"I got a call today. Another contract."

"Carlos." I scolded.

"Babe, this one, it's worth a lot of money and I'll only be gone for eight months." He said. I drew my hand back.

"Let's go," I said softly. "This is something we need to discuss as home."

He frowned and nodded. Paying the bill, we walked out to the valet, as his turbo was brought around. We were both silent on the way back to our apartment. Walking inside, I tossed my shoes off in the foyer.

"Carlos, you said you weren't doing any more missions," I said walking into the living room.

"This one is worth a lot of money though." He said.

"Is that all you care about Carlos, the money?" I snapped. He glared at me.

"Babe..."

"Think about everything," I told him. "What do you think would happen if you didn't come back? What would happen to me? Rangeman? Your family? You said you were finished after the last one, that you were getting too old. Now you want to do it for the money."

"I don't need this." He growled.

"Carlos, I need you to understand..."

"No, you need to understand. I wasn't asking you what you thought, I was telling you I'm going." He growled at me, "You can either be here or not when I get back."

I felt my heart stutter. Carlos had never spoken to me like that. "Well then, I know where this relationship stands. I hope you enjoy your money, Carlos." I said, brushing past him and opening the door.

"Where are you going?" He asked, his voice lower now. He took a step towards me and tried to take my hand. I pulled my hand away and his hand dropped.

"It's none of your concern now. Goodbye Ranger."

Now

Steph POV:

I walked into the restaurant, seeing Carlos sitting at a back booth, his back to the wall like always. I slid into the booth across from him. "Thank you for agreeing to see me." He said softly.

I nodded stiffly. I knew if I let my guard down he would pull me right back in, and I was too scared that he was going to break my heart again. I wanted him, I have always wanted him.

"Babe, I'm sorry about what happened the last time we spoke before I left. I should have never raised my voice like that. You didn't deserve it. You don't deserve the way I treated you."

"I've put all of that behind me," I responded by locking eyes with him.

"I was a selfish asshole." He said.

"Yes, you are," I confirmed. He smiled softly at me.

"I still love you." He said, reaching for my hand. I let him take it, fingers running over my knuckles.

"I..."

"I don't expect you to say it back Babe. You should hate me, not want to talk to me."

"For a while, I hated you, as much as I could," I spoke softly. "I could never really hate you. I was so upset that you left me to do another job. I always knew what I was getting into with you, but you were done. Then you decided you needed to do it again. Needed another mission. For the money, is what you told me, but Ranger, your problem was you were scared."

His eyes locked with mine, his hand squeezing mine. "I..."

"You were scared of being in a long-term committed relationship and being tied down. Everything was perfect and then something happened and it was over." I paused. "I just never understood why you ruined such a good thing, why I let you ruin such a good thing."

"You didn't let me do anything." He started.

"I'm the one who walked out." I pointed out.

"And I wanted you to sit back like a good little girl while I did whatever I wanted." He snapped. He took a deep breath. "At the time, I was having a little bit of a crisis."

"Hmmph."

He sent me a look and I smiled sweetly. "You're right, I was scared but there's more. I was worried you were going to leave me for the white picket fence life. I had just seen Joe earlier in the week..."

"Wait, you saw Joe? What were you doing in Trenton?"

"He's state police now," Carlos informed me. "There was a case Rangeman was working on that crossed state lines. He was the cop assigned to the case in Jersey. It brought back memories and I ended up in a bad place after that."

"I remember." I interrupted. That was a horrible case. A man had been kidnapping children, boys and girls, and murdering them. Leaving them along I-95 between NY and Trenton.

"I know it's not an excuse but I want you to know why I was such an asshole." He said.

"The case grated on me. It was so hard, looking at those pictures, tracking him down, trying to keep him from taking another kid. Trying and failing. One day, I had to meet with Joe for information. I looked like hell and he started to smart off saying that you must have left me. There was so much going on. When I told him to fuck off, he informed me that if you hadn't already left me, it wouldn't be long until you did. The state my head was in, plus his shit-talking..."

"That's one thing you never learned," I started. "You never learned to talk, to let someone help you, take the load off."

"I know Babe." He sighed. His hand reached for mine over the table, his fingertips brushing against mine. That same old spark was there, not that I ever thought it would leave. I drew my hand back, setting it in my lap.

The waiter walked over, taking our orders. He got the healthiest option on the menu. I shook my head, "Something never changes."

He smiled. "I could say the same about you, Babe. Chicken parmesan in the middle of the day."

"I deserve it. I ran nine miles this morning." I smirked. He chuckled.

"The New York office has been running well under your leadership," Ranger said. "It's become the most profitable and biggest office."

"Flattery doesn't go far," I told him.

He chuckled. "I'm serious. It's even more successful than the Miami office."

"You run Miami," I smirked. "Of course its profits aren't as high."

"That's a low blow, Babe."

I had missed this. Sitting and joking and talking. Hell, I had missed him but I wasn't going to admit that.

"Steph..."

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Would you be upset if I stayed in New York for a while?"

I raised an eyebrow looking at him. "You're the CEO, I can't tell you what offices to spend your time in."

"Babe, I want to stay and try to win you back."

I sighed and put my silverware down now that I was done. "Ranger, I don't know if you can."

"I have to believe I can Babe." He said softly. "Otherwise what do I have to believe in?"

I was tearing up when I wrote this last line... I hope you enjoyed this chapter, there's another coming tomorrow!