Chapter 4
Nanao
They had gotten Soi Fong, Rose, Unohana, Shinji, Kuchiki, Kensei and Hitusugaya's support, as well as Kira, Hisane, Renji, Hisagi, Rangiku, Rukia and Nemu to agree to them, which meant all the captains they had asked. No one had wanted to ask Omaeda and Kurotsuchi, and Mashiro could not be trusted to keep a secret. Rangiku had said Inamorata was not well enough yet, Nanao had refused to work together with Iba on anything, and Hisagi had told them to better leave Komamura out of it.
Hitsugaya and Rangiku hadn't been able to find Zaraki and Yachiru, and had somehow ended up asking Ikkaku and Yumichika. As one of the few official seated gay couples, they could be a useful resource.
Lisa had said that the other visored hadn't been that enthusiastic, but they had agreed anyway.
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Now they sat down together, Nanao, Lisa, Hitsugaya, Rukia and Rangiku, to sort through the ideas they had been given. She was surprisingly glad for Hitsugaya's presence, since he seemed to be the only other sane person present.
Lisa was wearing a face Nanao had learned to fear as a child, a face that meant she was plotting with all her power of mind, and nothing could stop her.
Rangiku and Rukia were giggling over some of the options, and seemed to be drunk with the thoughts of the potential couple.
They had been putting away options that they didn't think would work, decimating the pile of ideas. Some of this was crazy. All of this was crazy.
And Lisa insisted on discussing each option before it was removed, maybe because she knew Nanao would have put everything away already otherwise.
Nanao was presently trying not to tear up a piece of paper.
'It would work.' Lisa said calmly.
'I don't care. We are not… not drugging them.'
'It's cute that you can't talk about sex, you know?' Lisa answered. Nanao ignored her.
'Seriously, this goes too far. We need to agree right now that we will not force them to do anything against their will.' She refrained from glaring at her mentor, instead glaring at the neatly written note `lock them in a closed space after injecting them with an aphrodisiac. I can supply the syringe and drug.´
What idiot told Unohana about this?
'I agree with Lieutenant Ise. No force of any kind.' Hitsugaya stated calmly.
Rangiku sighted. 'Me too. She's right, sadly.'
Rukia just nodded.
Lisa rolled her eyes. 'Fine. Then this goes away too...'
After removing a few more notes Nanao spoke again. 'This one is illegal, and it's deception. We shouldn't do that.' Lisa picked the note from her hands, and put it on the side for good ideas. 'I like it. It might work, and it's not very intrusive, you should be happy about that Nanao-chan.'
Hitsugaya shrugged, and Rangiku nodded.
Nanao gave up.
After sorting through all the noted, five remained on the side for good ideas. Nanao didn't like any of them. They had sorted them from less intrusive to more intrusive:
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1. Make suggestive sounds in their presence (without being seen)
Nanao had fought against putting this in first place. Besides, it seemed pointless. But she had been overruled, with the argument that something that required no direct interaction logically had to be the least intrusive method. And Lisa had suggested that, since it would force them to wonder what was happening and talk about it, and thus talk about sex, it would of course help.
She had added, smirking 'And maybe it will make them want to join, and if they can't find anyone they'll only have each other.'
Instead of saying something sensible, like that they undoubtedly had talked about sex before after a few centuries, that had made Nanao agree to first place just because she did not want to talk about that.
And it didn't help that Rangiku and Rukia hadn't stopped giggling for a few minutes after that, while Hitsugaya just grumbled at tried to hide his blush.
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2. Ask them for information/ advice about homosexuality.
This one didn't seem too bad, but it also didn't seem like it would help. But Rangiku had said that it would also bring up the topic between them, and make them think about it, which might help.
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3. Send them valentine's chocolate in the other's name.
That had required a lot of explaining, since they didn't have valentine's day in soul society.
Then Hitsugaya had correctly pointed out that this plan wouldn't work if they didn't know what the chocolate meant. Somehow then all females present except for Nanao had excitedly decided to introduce valentine's day to soul society. They had made plans to petition to get it allowed, and then everyone would know how it worked. Nanao just sat back, and listened to them, tired.
It was wrong to trick them like that, but no one cared anyways.
After deciding to talk to their captains and bring it up at the next meeting, they had moved on.
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4. Party game for couples
Lisa had suggested this one, and she hadn't explained it well.
'I have this party game that we used to play in the living world. It's really simple, you just pair up and then every pair has to do things that are written in the rules. The thinks get more extreme, and if a couple can't do it, they lose. The couple that stays longest wins. It will make them kiss and stuff.'
'But how do you get them to pair up?' Rangiku asked.
'I will throw a party for pride-day, which is a human celebration for queer people, so I can say everyone has to pair up with a person of the same gender, out of respect. I can even ask them to pair up before explaining the rules.'
And what if they just drop out during the first round? Nanao didn't ask that. While she didn't think this one would work, it wasn't too mean or unethical at least.
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5. Send them notes in each other's name
This one, she absolutely did not like. It was pure deception, and just wrong. But Rangiku and Rukia had agreed easily to Lisa's enthusiasm, and Hitsugaya again just shrugged, saying that it might work.
The only problem from their point of view was that Rukia didn't think she could fake Ukitake's writing convincingly, and they didn't know anyone else who could.
So they agreed that Lisa would fake Kyouraku's writing, and they would just send notes one way only.
Nanao didn't say anything after her protests failed. As Lisa had pointed out, she had agreed to this, which meant she would see it through now, and they had had a fair discussion, during which she had been overruled.
Sadly.
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Lisa said she would organize everything, and would tell them when she needed their help, except for the valentine's day, on which they would all work and tell all their accomplices to work on too.
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Next captain's meeting:
Hitsugaya
Oh, how he hated doing this…
'I also wish to report that my lieutenant has started a petition to introduce valentine's day in Seireitei. She tells me that it is a human celebration on February 14th, were everyone gives chocolates as a gift to their family, friends and romantic partners, to show their appreciation. Rangiku has so far convinced the complete Shinigami-woman's-association that this is a good idea, and asks for permission to introduce it officially in the next newspaper edition.'
I personally believe this is an awful idea, which will result in disorder and chaos, but for the sake of our plan, I will have to support it.
He didn't have to say that, luckily.
Unohana spoke up. 'I have of course talked to the other female Shinigami, and have come to the decision to support this petition.'
Several other Shinigami nodded, and Hitsugaya was amused to note that Ukitake and Kyouraku were among them. Seems like Rukia and Lisa did their job.
'Those in favor of this idea step forwards please.' the head captain said.
Hitsugaya reluctantly stepped forwards. He watched as Ukitake, Kyouraku and Unohana moved forwards with a smile, while Kuchiki seemed to have to force himself to move, and Soi Fong grimaced while she stepped forwards. The three visored captains didn't show their opinion in their faces, and just moved to stand beside the rest. Komamura seemed to consider for a moment, then shrugged and also moved forwards. Kurotsuchi said something about 'Experiment in Shinigami social behavior' something Hitsugaya knew from Rangiku that Nemu had suggested to him, and also moved forwards. Only Zaraki didn't move, and said 'I don't care.' when asked for his opinion.
'Very well. Tell your lieutenant that she may proceed then. The organization of this is her responsibility.' Yamamoto said. Hitsugaya sighted. He had a feeling Rangiku would put way more energy into this that into her real work.