Welcome to chapter 4. Here Rika will be recovering from the events of the last chapter. Some introspection between the twins and stuff. Again, I forewarn about mentions of trauma, violence, and sensitive topics of that nature. With that in mind, please enjoy chapter four. Chapter five will probably be uploaded within a few days.

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Chapter Four: Voices of the Chord ~IV~

"Hunger for the sleep I know will never come. Crowded is the space but I don't have anyone."

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(Blood's POV)

I could not believe those two! I furiously paced in the Hatter Infirmary as the doctor worked on Rika, slowly taking out the knives that were in her arms, legs, and even a few in her sides and stomach. I watched carefully as the doctor kept pressure on the wounds on her stomach, applying pressure to keep her from bleeding out. She laid there in the bed, slowly breathing, her breath fogging up the mask that covered her mouth and nose. She did not look right laying there, being that pale, being the kind girl, she was. Her skin was deathly pale, her indigo-colored hair messily in all directions as she laid there.

I relieved the twins of duty for the next couple of months. They were angry with me, but I did not care. They hurt somebody precious to me when I specifically told them not to. They defied my orders. I had them confined to their room for the time being. I did not want them anywhere near Rika. Alice felt extra guilty as she sat beside Rika's still form in the chair beside the bed, her hands over her face, concealing her tears. I walked over to her side, putting a gentle gloved hand on her shoulder.

"It is not your fault, Alice. You did not know that they would act out like that," I said to my fiancé, trying to assuage her of her self-driven guilt. She looked up at me, tears stinging the edges of her beautiful aquamarine eyes.

"I had NO idea, I only insisted they play a regular game or do something like that, you know be regular kids. Never had I expected them to lash out at Rika like this," she replied, tears still streaming down her face. I sighed heavily, wishing I could reply to that, but no words came to me. I merely stayed by her side, my hand not leaving her shoulder. After a while, she grabbed my gloved hand in hers, holding it tightly. I sat in the chair next to her, only letting go of her hand long enough to wrap my arm around her. I pulled her close to me and she cried gently into my shoulder. I only gently massaged her side, reassuring her I was there for her and that she need not feel guilty for the twins' actions. They would come to realize their grave mistakes in time, even as blood thirsty as they could be sometimes, they still had a small moral compass. At least, I hoped they did. I wished Rika would tell us about her past trauma. I could not rush her, however.

(Meanwhile in the Twins' Room)

Dee paced madly as his brother; Dum sat eerily calm on their red couch. He turned to his brother, demanding how he could be so calm. "The boss is PISSED AT US! HOW does that not bother you!?" Dee demanded of his twin.

"Simple, she deserved what we gave her for stealing our Big Sister's attention away from us," he replied in a slower cadence than that of his blue twin's abrupt way of speech. Dee glared at his red eyed twin, angry as the pained expression of Rika filled his mind. He could not get over how she cried out, not because of the pain from their knives but as if a deeper pain had arisen and taken ahold of her, traumatizing her as if some past tragedy was being relived. He would not be surprised if she never spoke to them again. She would be justified in that regard, he thought to himself, sitting down on the blue couch.

He leaned forward, as if reaching the far corners of his mind for some unknown answer that could not be found. His cerulean eyes glazed over, tears falling as he felt guilty for partaking in torturing Rika. Dum looked over at his brother, confused slightly by his guilty conscious. They had tortured countless faceless, killing intruders that dared tried to come into the Hatter Residence. Never had he seen Dee, so guilt stricken before. Not like this at least. He sighs, deciding to try to comfort his twin.

"If she survives, we'll sneak down to the infirmary and apologize. Does that sound reasonable?" he asked Dee simply. Dee looked up, surprised by this.

"I…. I suppose. I doubt a simple apology will be enough to heal the pain we only exacerbated," he replied simply without missing a beat.

Just then, the door to their shared room opened and at the doorway stood an angry Blood Dupre and Elliot March. Green eyes and lavender glared at them coldly. Elliot was the first to speak, entering the room, "What the fuck possessed you brats to pull a bullshit stunt like that? Were you actually fucking jealous of her!?" the March Hare demanded angrily. They nodded simultaneously. Dee was the first to speak, no clever insults colored his words this time.

"Yes, we were. We were afraid she was stealing Big Sis away from us," Dee replied simply, his eyes not meeting his boss's or the second in command. Dum leaned forward, his elbows on his knees as he rested his chin on his folded hands. He did not say anything and just let Dee speak for them both.

"THAT WAS YOUR REASON!? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING HELL!?" roared Elliot, angered further by Dee's response. Dee shrank back a few steps, not arguing as he felt they deserved this anger. Dum did not think so, but he knew eventually his twin would come around.

"I have no choice for the time being but to restrict your duties. You are to still perform your duties as gatekeepers as we need this place guarded against assholes who want to harm us. However, until further notice, you will NOT be paid until you can show us that you can be fucking responsible!" Blood declared, his voice raised angrily, it still sounded calm compared to Elliot's bellowing tone, but still contained just as much venom. The twins nodded without further comment. After that, Blood and Elliot left the twins to be with their conflicting thoughts.

"Damn it, now we won't get paid!" cursed Dum, angrily tipping over their coffee table as their various occult like decorations going flying from the sudden action. Dee could not believe what the hell his twin was saying.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Dum!? That's what you're worried about!? How about Rika actually making it through ALIVE!?" he demanded. His twin did not say anything further, only sitting down on the opposite couch away from Dee. Not much was said further between them the rest of the time period. After much debating and inner monologue, Dee made the decision to sneak down to the infirmary to try to apologize to Rika. Dum reluctantly agreed, it was his suggestion after all…...

(Rika's POV)

Groggily, I woke up, my eyes looking up at a strange ceiling. I tried to sit up, but a groan of pain escaped my lips, reminding me of being a throwing knife target. If I came face to face with those little assholes again, I'd tell them off! I sighed, giving up on sitting up. I stared dejectedly at the ceiling, wishing I had my book. At least if I had that, I could pass the time until I was strong enough to get out of here. I do not even know how I'm alive right now. Also, I did not really care.

Two sets of footsteps entered the room, an all too familiar pair of red and blue clad twins. They approached my bedside, both wearing solemn expressions. I glared up at them with as angry of a look as I had the strength to muster. "What the fuck do you two want!?" I asked coldly. They flinched slightly at my words but did not back away. They only observed me thoughtfully as if searching for words to say. I rolled over onto my side, which I realized was a mistake as I cried out with pain, however I did not care as I did not want to face them.

"We…...We're…we're sorry," mumbled the voice of one of the twins. Which one spoke, I did not care. "Please, say something," he pleaded again. I turned to lay on my back once more, glaring up at the twins.

"What do you want me to say? I forgive you for using me as a fucking target. To forgive you for your fucking misplaced jealousy. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!? I DON'T FORGIVE YOU!" I roared at them, angry tears flowing down my face. Before I could stop myself, I went on, "Do you know the fucking hell I have gone through!? No, of course you don't. I died more times than you two shits have been alive! So don't fucking give me your fucking apology!" I continued, sitting up despite my pain, angered beyond belief at these two fucks.

They hung their heads in shame, realizing that I was right. "No, we did not know. We like torturing for fun. It's in our nature. You were just the target. We did not think it through, we were jealous as you were adopted by the boss as his daughter, we were jealous as we thought you were stealing our Big Sister from us," admitted the red eyed twin. His words were a bit slower to come out as he spoke with a softer tone. My anger still flowed red hot through my veins, adrenaline overriding my current pain I felt. I did not care now.

"If…If you ever decide to forgive us, we'd be glad to try to make it up to you," the blue twin spoke again. With that, they left. I was in shock, not believing their nerve to come down here. To come down here to apologize to me. It took me a long time after that and much persuasion from the doctor for me to calm down enough to get some rest. I finally did after taking several deep breaths. Eventually sleep came, but not very easily.

Several time periods passed before I was cleared to leave the infirmary. The doctor had instructed me and my parents to keep activity to a minimum for at least the next two time periods. My mother and father were just relieved I was ok. I spent my time mostly inside their room. My father decided to have a room prepared that was attached to his so I could stay nearby them while I finished recovering.

He showed me to a room that was mostly purple in color with a massive four poster bed with a lavender canopy that decorated the perimeter of the bed. It had a massive bookshelf off to one side, a small sitting area not too far from said bookshelf containing a small chair and loveseat with an oval shaped coffee table separating them. I was in awe as I took in everything. I thanked my father profusely for having this room prepared for me. I loved it. It could probably fit the small house I lived in with Satoko at least twice.

I also noticed my book on the nightstand beside the massive bed. "I figured you'd like this room. It was the least I could do after the hell you had to go through, I'm sorry," he said, hugging me back. I looked up at him shocked. How was he responsible for what the twins did to me? I shook my head, not blaming him in the slightest, nor did I blame my mother. She had been guilt ridden while I was in the infirmary, visiting me, apologizing profusely. I assured her that she did not need to apologize. She still cried and hugged me tightly during that time.

"Alright, if you say so. However, I do not want them coming near you. I heard about them sneaking down there to see you. I heard you told them off as well as you had every right to. They will learn their lesson if it smacks them in their faces," he assured me. I did not wish them any harm despite them hurting me. I had wanted to get them back but decided they weren't worth it. Ignoring their existence did the trick.

"I'll let you get settled into your new room. I have some mafia business to take care of, I'll see you later daughter," he said as he kissed me on top of my head before he departed. I settled into my bed, picking up my book and got lost within its pages again. Oh book, how I've missed thee, I smiled as I turned the pages, getting about halfway through the story.

However, something hitting my window caught my attention. Much to my annoyance, I put my book aside to see where the ruckus was coming from. I opened the window to find the banes of my existence, the twin assholes standing below waving up at me. Without a word, I shut the window and returned to my book. Of course, it would not be easy to escape these bastards. I could hear them climbing up the vines and barging into my room. My eyes narrowed as I once again put my book aside to confront them.

"How the hell did you figure out where my room was? And two, I do not want to see you two! What part of leave me alone don't you understand?" I demanded of them. They shrugged with impish smirks upon their faces. I raised an eyebrow, wondering what the hell they were up to. "You better leave before my father and your boss comes back," I urged them. They did not budge. What are they playing at? "Look, if you're here to torture me some more, save your breath," I harshly said before turning my back to them, ignoring them. Not getting anywhere, they left the way they came. They would keep doing this over the next two years….

I turned fourteen and the twins turned sixteen. They grew up a bit, becoming more handsome, the blue twin wearing his hair tied back, while his brother parted his bangs and held them in place with clips. They also wore different uniforms with more military style hats. They tried to further impress me with their actions. As I did when I was eleven, I ignored them. In that time, I had started self-harming due to my night terrors and flashbacks from constantly reliving the hellish loops from Hinamizawa. I saw all the tragedies happening before my eyes again as if I had never left. Maybe the twins did want to make it up to me? I did not know. I could not let them see these cuts. I kept my sloppily bandaged arms hidden beneath long sleeves.

One morning time change, we were having breakfast. Surprisingly father was not present, claiming that the sun was the devil. I guess he was more of a night owl, I surmised. However, Uncle Elliot and my mother seemed to be in good spirits. I was as well, holding conversation with them both enthusiastically. The twins kept trying to get my attention. I at one point flipped them off pointedly, not giving a damn with a glower on my face. This did not deter them in the slightest. They only smirked while trying to get me to notice them.

After breakfast, I took my book to read at my favorite spot in the garden by the fountain. Unbeknownst to me, they had followed me. They came up to me, smirking and I raised an eyebrow and looked up from my book. "What the fuck are you doing now?" I asked sharply, my tone raising an octave.

"Dum and I want you to be our sister," Dee said without missing a beat, his blue eyes shining in the morning sun. I only shut my book without a word, and simply walked away. Being that they were also trained assassins, they moved swiftly after me and caught me up against the fence.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" I yelled angrily, my tone deepening when it did when I was angry. They only smirked more. Dum brazenly kissed me, cutting off any reply. My purple eyes widened with shock. His twin, Dee pinned my arms so I could not push them away. Once Dum released my lips, Dee swooped in for his turn and kissed me suddenly. What was up with these two!? First, they try to kill me, then they try to apologize to me when I'm recovering, now they're pursuing me romantically!? What the fuck!? I did not understand them.

The fucked-up thing was I felt a few sparks from both of their kisses. Dee released my lips with a smirk. They kept me pinned there for a bit. "We don't want to leave our little sister. We want to protect her," stated Dee smoothly. His deeper voice somehow made my heart skip a beat. Where were these twins back then? Perhaps, I did not let them try. Could you blame me? I was still slightly angry with them.

All I could do was stare at them. I did not really know what to say. I wished they would just leave me alone for the time being. However, their smirks remained as a blush bloomed across my face. "I think our sister likes us, brother. She's blushing," said Dum to his blue-eyed twin. I rolled my plum-colored eyes skyward. He puts a finger under my chin and lifts it up to look into his crimson eyes. I wanted to glare at him, but I was still too surprised for those emotions to come across. Instead, I looked back at him with mild curiosity. His vivid eyes seemed to stare into my soul, just like they did when I first saw him.

"Guys, I am flattered by this attention. However, please let me go," I said after gaining courage. This only lead Dum to pick me up suddenly and carry me off with his brother in tow. "What the hell? Put me down!" I protested as they ran to who knows where. They did not put me down and took me into the mansion, a few servants gave me a few rushed hellos which I returned despite being kidnapped by these two asshats.

"Don't talk to them sister!" admonished Dee as he ran up alongside his twin. I raised my eyebrow and gave him a hard look.

"Why? They're people too. Just because they don't have eyes does not mean they need to be regarded as less than," I retorted, crossing my arms, glaring at Dee. He did not say anything else after that. They did not put me down until they reached their room. Dee opened the door as Dum followed with me still in his arms. When he entered the room after his brother, he finally put me down on one of their couches. I noticed they had an interest in occult like objects as a creepy hand like candle holder thing sat on their coffee table. They had two dragon like statues flanking the entrance into their room, surprisingly they had their weapons stored neatly in a weird table with holes in it. Then their bed was at the back of the room, weapon shaped windows were on the wall above said bed, and two big blades hung on either side with candles on them.

Most boys their age would have either have anime or superhero posters, sports, or anything like that. However, they liked weapons. Of course, that was obvious when they used me as a throwing knife target a few years ago. I still had the scars from those injuries. I consciously pulled my sleeves down, trying to keep my bandaged arms hidden. Dee noticed and suddenly yanked the sleeve on my left arm up and he noticed it. "Why is your arm bandaged, sis?" he asked me nonchalantly. I stood up, not wanting to elaborate and made a beeline for the door. However, Dum quickly stopped me, picked me up and brought me back to their red couch.

"I don't want to talk about it," I replied simply. They only looked at me more puzzled.

"Is it because of what we did to you when we were immature boys? If so, we still are sorry. We did not mean to cause you so much pain sis," Dum said, his voice also deepened by growth which made my heart skip a beat. I shook my head to indicate that was not the case.

"No, it was not because of what you did to me a few years ago. I…." I bit my lip, not really wanting to continue. Their crimson and blue eyes bore into my soul as if asking me to go on. Against my better judgement, I continued, "It is…" I paused for a moment, choosing my words carefully, "Because of many years of repeated deaths. While I know this must be hard to understand. I…I watched my friends get killed in many fragments," I paused for a moment, and they gave me a confused look.

"What do you mean by many fragments and multiple deaths, sis?" asked Dee, confusion coloring his features as he ran a hand through his long hair after taking his military style cap off. Dum mirrored his actions, also slightly confused. I sighed for a moment.

"How do I explain?" I reply after a few moments, "As you know Wonderland consists in a time inconsistency that makes looping possible. Looping is basically defined as going through multiple fragments of the same timeline. In my case, I have been forced to relive various tragic events during a single month and year. In this case, June of 1983. Unexplained murders happened due to something called Hinamizawa syndrome. It was this illness that caused people to feel paranoia and basically descend into madness. I had to watch as my friends came down with this virus and descend slowly into madness and as a result, caused them to act out violently. I know it's a lot to take it but take my word for it. You would not want to relieve similar time loops, experiencing the same events but happening differently but overall having the same result," I explained, sighing as that was a lot for me to say. Even remembering at this point was hard for me.

"I have no idea what any of that means, but it sounds awful. Is this why you hurt yourself? Because of these painful memories?" Dee questioned me, while trying to understand my explanation to the best of his ability. I sighed, turning towards him. I leaned back on the couch, closing my eyes for a moment. I had to mentally check out for a few. The twins leaned on my shoulders, wrapping their arms around my waist.

Their heads rested on my chest where they could listen to my heartbeat. I opened my eyes after a bit and stared up at their ceiling, my mind lost in thought. Mentally and emotionally, I just did not want to deal with these painful memories anymore. Every night as I sleep, I visit these loops in the form of terrible and vivid nightmares as if I am reliving them. How many times must I see my friends die again? How many times must I relive these damned loops, even as post traumatic flashbacks? Damnit! It's all useless damnit!

I felt tears falling down my face, I had to get out of here! Without thinking, I somehow freed myself from their grasp, made a beeline from the door and ran back toward my room at full speed. Being asked those painful questions brought those memories to the forefront of my mind. I know they meant no harm. However, for me, it was painful…. tears blinded my vision. I crashed on my bed, gut wrenching cries escaping my being.

As if I was reliving the loops again, I saw their dead bodies, the bodies of my friends, my own dead body after I was gutted and left for the fucking crows to eat my intestines thanks to Takano, being cut open and having my insides raked by Satoko again. All of it flashed before my eyes as if I were reliving a horror movie. I wished so much it was not real; and no matter how much I tried to deny that reality, it happened, these damned loops happened. I died in more brutal ways than I could count, failed to save my friends.

And when I thought we broke free from this cursed fate, I was dragged right back into the hell of June 1983 by some unknown source. I never could probably convey these feelings of anguish into words to anybody here: my adopted parents, Uncle Elliot, or the twins. They would not understand or believe me. I never felt so fucking alone in my life. I called out for Hanyuu to answer me again, of course I was met with silence. Even she has forsaken me. Why had she disappeared? She had been a guide and given me hope through that hell and when she left was a devastating blow to my heart. It still was now that I think about it.

Without even realizing it, I took the bandages off my right arm. I took the fragment from the Onigari no Ryu sword to my arm once more, cutting the skin as if the pain would be released as the fresh blood flowed down my arm. I repeated this action several times and I grew numb to the pain, tears still falling. I felt like I deserved to punish myself over and over for failing to save my friends time and time again. My fresh spilled blood stained my bedsheets, but I did not care. I did not care that I ruined my dress. I did not care about much anymore. I only wanted to be released from this pain. I numbly held the bloodied fragment to my throat, debating on whether if I should die or not. Death would be an escape at this point, or would I just go back to Hinamizawa or be brought back here? I did not care right now as I dug the fragment into the side of my neck, hell bent on finishing myself off.

Suddenly, the door to my room burst open, being smashed to pieces by two identical axeblades. My mind was too far gone to care, continuing to dig the bloody fragment into the skin of my neck as I attempted to cut deeper. However, they were quicker and quickly seized the fragment and took it away from me. Their eyes searched mine, my emotionless purple orbs only stared back and only half registered their presence. "This world is better off without me in it," I mumbled numbly, no emotion in my voice. "I'm tired, I can't do this anymore. You probably won't understand. If you go through more than a century of hellish loops, watching your friends and family die over and over, we can talk," I finished, tears still streaming down my face.

One of the twins slapped me to pull me back to reality. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, RIKA!? Do you hear yourself? While we don't understand the source of your trauma, that does not mean we want you to die. Damnit! Stop it, stop hurting yourself. I'm sure your friends would not want you hurting yourself. We don't know what happened but damnit, it's NOT YOUR FAULT!" shouted Dee as he grasped my shoulders. I looked at him, only half registering him bent down in front of me. I did not feel like myself. I felt like somebody else was in possession of my body.

"Maybe not, I just…I failed them so many times. I failed Mion, Shion, Rena, Keiichi, and even Satoko. I did my best every goddamned loop and every time, they all died, then I'd die again somehow, and I'd wake up in the next loop, back in Hinamizawa of June 1983, and while everything would happen differently. Tragedies would strike again. No matter what I did or tried, damnit!" I replied, crying. Without a word, Dee sat beside me, pulling me into his chest, not caring if his uniform got bloodied. I wrapped my arms around his waist, burying my face into his chest as more gut-wrenching sobs escaped my fragile body.

"This is why we want to protect you. Because we had suspected for along time that something was haunting you like this. We don't know how to get rid of the painful memories. The best we can do is just support you," said Dum after a bit. I turned from my position in Dee's arms to face him. He grabs my left sleeve, pulling off the bandage to reveal only days old cuts scabbed over, ranging in severity and depth. I felt ashamed and slightly embarrassed that they had seen me at my most vulnerable. I tried to pull my arms away, but Dum only gripped tighter to my wrists. He used his body weight to lay me down on my bed, pinning my arms outward.

"Get off me, please," I pleaded. He only leaned forward and kissed me once before staring into my eyes. He cups my face with one of his hands, brushing some of my tears away with his thumb. I only looked up at him through stunned plum-colored orbs, wondering what was on his mind. His brother, Dee joined him and mirrored his movements and brushed some more of my tears away. He leans close to my left ear.

He whispered, "Your wounds need disinfected." His words sounded almost seductive to my ear. He kissed my ear softly which made a small "mi" sound escape my lips out of surprise. What did he mean by "disinfecting my wounds?" I gasped suddenly when I felt a soft suckling on one of the cuts on my right arm. I turned my head to see Dum using his lips and tongue to lick the blood away. Was this his way of comforting me? He continued with each cut, licking it softly and suckling the blood away as if drinking it. This made another surprised gasp escape my lips. Dee decided to do the same with the cuts on my neck. He licked the skin softly like his brother and bit my neck as if drinking the blood, trying to soothe my pain. They continued doing this to me for a long time. I softly moaned from their actions and relaxed, feeling my eyelids growing heavy as sleep threatened to take over me.

Dee moved to the scabbed over cuts and kissed them all as if that would make them heal faster. "W-Why?" I asked them softly. This caught their attention and they loomed over me, both pairs of their vivid eyes staring into my soul with such intensity. Dee stroked my face softly with his right hand, I leaned slightly into his touch. Their body heat was soothing me.

"Because we love you little sister," he answered simply without missing a beat. Despite myself, I smiled a little at his answer.

"Yeah, we love you, Rika," replied Dum as he kissed my forehead. He then took my right arm, giving my wrist a small kiss, finding some bandages and wrapped my arm back up. "Please don't hurt yourself anymore. If you hurt yourself, you hurt us," he added. "We don't want you to feel guilty about things you could not control. Please let us protect you from further pain. We'll stay by your side, and you won't have to relive anymore painful memories," he finished, his tone almost pleading with me to accept them.

They went out of their way to comfort me in their own odd way. I nodded a little, feeling somewhat comforted by their presence. "Ok," I simply replied. It was my way of forgiving them for their past actions against me because they made up for it by comforting me. "I'm sorry I did not see it sooner. I'm sorry for not forgiving you two sooner. I," I added but was cut off by a kiss from Dum, his tongue flicking slightly against my lips, begging for entrance which I granted, and his tongue entered my mouth, licking mine softly. I tried to battle for dominance with his, but he won out since he was rougher. I found myself enjoying his kiss and he tasted slightly like copper since he had been licking my wounds.

However, he tasted good. I enjoyed his kiss despite myself. He kept kissing me like this for several moments, however the need for air made us part and his brother Dee took over a second later and took over his brother's duty and made out with me roughly as well. Between both of their kisses, I felt so much. I groaned slightly as he continued, his tongue flicking mine into submission. They had both kissed me with so much passion. I had never felt anything like this before. He released my lips after several moments, needing air as well. Another soft moan escaped me as my heartbeat raced inside my chest, feeling so many conflicting things.

"D…Dee, D…Dum," I found myself saying softly. "Stay with me," I pleaded. They only nodded, pulling me up into a sitting position between them. I soon found myself against Dee's back with Dum resting his head against my chest, listening to my heart.

"What do you think sister? We aren't leaving you." Answered Dum simply as if it was a done and decided thing. I sighed softly, closing my eyes, leaning back against Dee, his body heat flooding my back. Dum's warmth seeped through my dress, only adding to my newfound comfort. Between the two of them, they had managed to make me come down from a panic attack and comforted me. I soon found sleep once again threatening to take over. My body was tired from experiencing so many conflicting emotions, crying from traumatic memories, and then feeling things for these two. Their warmth enveloped me like a blanket, and I was out, my eyes closed, and I was off into the realm of dreams. No nightmares or traumatic memories threatened to drown me in hell for once.