I know I said I'd update this story on Monday, forgive me as I have been busy these past few days. I will try to get all the chapters posted as soon as I'm able. Please bear with me. I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Chapter Eight: Welcome to Clover Country…
"But a flower growing in the field that has braved wind, rain, cold and heat possesses something more than just beauty." ~Rena Ryuguu – Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni
A few hours have passed since our intimate moments in the bath. I sat to my father's left, trying to avoid eye contact with the twins, knowing what they were thinking about. My blush deepened as I drank some of my tea. My mother and father glanced knowingly between me and the Bloody Twins. They only smirked slightly, not saying anything but acting like they knew what happened. I suppressed a small giggle as I set my tea down, taking a small cupcake off of a nearby plate and nibbled on it.
As we were eating our snacks and drinking tea, I could feel the land shift. I looked up and noticed that dad and mom and Uncle Elliot as well as my two twins did not notice anything. It was as if the Hatter Estate was picked up and placed elsewhere. The time period changed from night to midafternoon, my father acting like a vampire and running inside comically. I shook my head, biting my cupcake to suppress another laugh from erupting from my lips. The twins heard my thoughts and smiled at me, giving me winks. I smiled back at them knowingly as if we had our own little inside jokes.
Mom continued to observe me with a befuddled look. My purple eyes looked back into her turquoise ones and I just shrugged with a small smile. She shook her head as she turned to the twins as if knowing what they were thinking. If she actually knew, she probably would flip the fuck out. They were currently thinking about maybe killing some random faceless. I gave them a hard look and shook my head "no" to indicate that I was not on board with that idea. They then thought that if I wasn't around, they would kill to their heart's content. I sighed, these two were hopeless sometimes. I let the matter mentally drop, for now.
Then it was Uncle Elliot's turn to give the twins and I an odd look with a quirked eyebrow. I only shrugged nonchalantly with a small smile, as if to say that everything was "normal." He then took another sip of his tea and smirked a little knowingly. He then leans in to where only I can hear him and says, "Just between you and I, Rika. This is the most well behaved I've seen those two for a while. I'm not sure what you did but keep doing that. It is nice not to have to argue with them for once." I was not doing anything. They acted of their own accord and they made that abundantly clear. I suppose sometimes I put my foot down but not very often. I did not comment any reply as I finished my tea. The rest of the tea party passed without incident and then everybody dispersed.
Mother motioned for me to follow her and then Dee and Dum followed behind me. They did not have to cling to me all of the time. However, this did not stop them from clutching one of my arms. I wondered what mom wanted and we followed her toward the back of the garden away from Uncle Elliot who had already departed for his duties. Finally, we stopped and she motioned for us to sit on a bench as she stood in front of us. I looked at her with my own bemused expression.
"What is it, mom?" I asked her blankly, confused by her actions. She sighed, turning toward me. Suddenly, she hugged me tightly. Dee and Dum were also dumbfounded by my mom's actions.
"What is going on, Big Sis? Why are you hugging our little sister like that?" inquired Dee with confusion coloring his tone. His voice made me blush a little because it was deep and sounded pleasant to my ears as did Dum's voice did when he spoke. I giggled inwardly at my random thoughts. 'We heard that,' they purred in my mind. Of course they did, I sighed. I awkwardly patted my mom's back. She then released me after a moment or two but not before kissing my cheek.
"Sorry, I'm just happy the three of you are getting on so well. We could tell that something was going on when you disappeared for quite a long time last time period. I won't ask questions but it seems that you have grown quite close with the twins," she said. That was what she wanted to talk about? I shrugged sheepishly, however I appreciated her well wishes.
"Thanks mom, I appreciate it. You did not need to drag us back here to say that," I replied pointedly with a rueful smile. The twins nodded in agreement with me. She chuckled as she awkwardly scratched her chin with a finger.
"Heh, I suppose not. Forgive me," she replies with a sheepish smile of her own. "Well we are in Clover now. Why not go explore? There is a town not too far from here," she added and she hugged me once more before departing.
"Well, that was…." Began Dee and Dum finishes his twin's sentence, "Weird? Yeah, just a bit. I am happy that big sis approves of our relationship with little sis. It was still quite odd."
"As long as we can skip one of those boring ass Assembly meetings, I think we'll be good," added Dee and Dum nods in agreement. I take it that they did not like formal meetings much. That was the sentiment I was picking up from them.
"Nope, just like we prefer to skip out on work and sleep. However, we like money so working is a necessary evil," Dum confirmed my thoughts. However, father said it was important for Role Holders to be present. I crossed my arms and gave them each a pointed look. They only smiled back at me, showing their teeth. Also, he seemed to emphasize that me being a part of this meeting seemed important. I wondered why.
Before I allowed my mind to dwell on the matter any further, I got up and walked toward the general direction of the mansion. I wanted to ask father about the Assembly Meeting as well as about the Country of Clover in general. Then Dee and Dum followed close behind me but we did not make it too far because we were stopped by Uncle Elliot. 'Damn it, it's the chicken rabbit!' they thought collectively as their words rang through my mind. Note to self: work on blocking thoughts sometimes…'No sis, allow us to be a part of your mind and soul,' thinks Dee in response to my past thought. I rolled my eyes. As if they already weren't a part of me. I sighed, dropping the matter. My thoughts were interrupted by Uncle Elliot speaking…
"You two need to get out and guard the gate. I don't need you two idiots slacking off just because we're in Clover now," he growled. The twins rolled their eyes and proceeded to argue with Elliot as per usual. They threw insults his way and he retaliated with some insults of his own. This exchange lasted for a good couple of minutes. Finally, I was fed up.
"Dee, Dum, stop it. You sound like petulant children! And Uncle Elliot, don't stoop to their level and argue with them. Good grief," I said, fed up with the nonsense. My voice sounded different to my ears, hollow and emotionless unlike my usual tone. The Bloody Twins and my uncle gave me an odd look as if I'd just grown an extra head. "What? I apologize for yelling. But your arguing was getting on my nerves," I added pointedly before walking away briskly. I needed to get away for a moment to clear my head.
I made it inside the mansion, not paying much attention when I bumped into a faceless servant. She had long brown hair and the ghost of blue eyes. They weren't as pronounced as mine or the others. I held out a hand to help her up. "Forgive me, I wasn't watching where I was going," I said with a small smile. She shook her head, saying no apology was necessary. She took my hand which I offered and stood back up on wobbly feet. With a small smile, she departed and went back to her duties. I nodded to others as I passed them by, saying hello at some intervals out of politeness.
As I made my way to my parents' room, I wondered why Uncle Elliot and the twins looked at me oddly. Did my eye color change, did I take on a different demeanor, what was it? These questions swam through my mind as I walked, speeding up a bit with a purpose. I mentally issued an apology to the twins in case they were mad at me. Since we were connected, I was sure they heard it. I hoped they did anyways. Finally, I had made it in front of my parents' room and I opened the doors and walked in.
I looked around and saw my father sitting as his desk, filling out paper work with a scowl on his face. "Fuck, it never ends does it?" he mumbles under his breath as he filled out another sheet, setting it in the "done" pile when finished. He rolled his emerald eyes skyward and took a sip of his tea to break up the monotony. This was when he noticed me. "Hey Rika, what brings you here?" he asked me in a tired voice. It wasn't his usual laid back tone of voice. Instead, he sounded more bored than anything. I sighed, he seemed lonely somehow. Maybe it was just me reading into things. Despite that, I walked around to the back of his desk and gave him a hug.
"Rika…." He said suddenly, surprised by the hug. He hugged me back, wrapping his arms around me. "Thank you daughter, I needed that. Being the head of a mafia really is not a forgiving job," he added. I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before releasing him from my hug. A smile found its way onto his face, his emerald eyes focused on mine. I smiled back at my father, feeling a bit relieved somehow.
"I don't say it enough but I love you dad," I replied as I went and sat in an arm chair in front of his desk, facing him. He chuckled a little at that as he got up, getting up and stretching before he sat back down.
"I love you too, Rika. I don't say it often enough myself. But I'm thankful to have you and Alice in my life," he replied with a small smile that seemed unlike his usual colder demeanor. I felt some warmth in my chest at his words. I wish I could have been close to my biological father like this. Maybe I was before the hellish loops of June 1983 began; I had no way of actually knowing. I knew that I loved my adopted parents a lot as if they were my biological parents.
Then the thoughts of Uncle Elliot, Dee, and Dum giving me an odd look as if I'd grown an extra head returned to my mind. "Dad, do I seem odd to you? The reason I ask is I don't feel like myself. I understand this is a weird question…but it feels like something in me wants to take over. I don't know if it has to do with being a new Role Holder. Forgive me, I am just confused," I finally voiced what was on my mind in a hollow tone that did not sound like me. His emerald eyes searched my purple eyes carefully as if looking carefully to see that I was still "Rika."
"Perhaps, now that you mention it your eyes seem to be an almost endless pool of amethyst. However, I do see a little bit of light still within your eyes. I suppose it is a natural side effect of taking on your role. Or maybe it has to do with your past. I have a feeling it is the latter. You still have a lot of past trauma that you're working through, aren't you Rika?" he replied in a measured tone that he took on when he was more serious. I looked down at my hands; I wish I could look in a mirror to see what I looked like. I nodded, taking his words for it for the time being. Red's words rang through my mind about me becoming Bernkastel. I did not want to be that cruel witch. I vowed to at least have part of me remain as Rika.
"The Red Joker also known as "White" told me with a red truth that I was Bernkastel and called me by that name. I did not know what he meant by that, until now. I don't want to become cruel and heartless despite having gone through so much hell in those loops. I want to be Rika. I want to be your daughter, I want to be Alice's daughter too," I said, tears almost threatening to fall as I spoke….
(Blood's POV)
I was silent for a moment as I watched my daughter, Rika. Tears threatened to come down her face. She was trying so desperately to hold herself together. Normally, I would not care if somebody broke down in front me. However, Alice and Rika were different. Alice was my fiancée and Rika was my daughter. She may not be related to Alice or me by blood, but I did not give a damn. Ever since Alice brought her home to the Hatter Mansion, she was as good as my daughter. Reflecting on that, I sighed.
Without a word, I got up from my chair from behind my desk and went to where Rika was sitting. I picked her up in my arms. She was so light, she may be eighteen now, but she was till my little girl. She clutched my black suit jacket, burying her face into my chest and cried. I hugged her small frame close to me, holding her as any father would console their daughter if she was crying. I combed my black gloved fingers through her long purplish blue hair, trying to soothe her as best as I could. I sat on the couch, still holding her tightly against me. I only wanted her to be happy. I wanted her to realize she was loved here. The twins fell in love with her, Alice clearly loves her like a daughter as do I, and Elliot has as good as adopted her as his niece of sorts. Of course that was easy for me to say, I did not fully understand the source of Rika's trauma. She told me a few times. The pain in her eyes was always evident when she talked about it.
She told me she came from a hellish loop that seemed to take place during the June of 1983. I did not fully understand years as Wonderland only passed in time changes so things such as years, months, days, and such were arbitrary here. However, in her and Alice's word time passed in a more straight forward matter? How could somebody like Rika get trapped in a single month of events for over a hundred or more years? Was this why she was afraid of becoming this Bernkastel? Was Rika becoming Bernkastel a symptom, an unavoidable consequence of suffering for so long? While I could not fully wrap my head around this concept, I did know that Rika carried a lot of pain inside her heart and soul. She told me and Alice once after we had discovered her self-harming habits several time changes ago.
The Bloody Twins seem to have helped her overcome that to some degree. While they probably weren't the best therapists, they did keep their word and comfort Rika and protect her for the most part. Thanks to them, Rika smiles more and seems a little happier. I'm sure regardless of what happens they would still love her too no matter what. They better keep that promise or I will be sure to kick their asses. I sighed, letting my thoughts get away from me again.
My attention was brought back to Rika. She seemed to be calmer now. "It's ok, Rika. I am here for you. I promise to be here for you. You're my daughter and I love you no matter what. No matter whether you are Rika or become Bernkastel, you're my daughter and I love you," I whispered into her hair. Her head lifted up to look at me with curious purple eyes as my words seemed to resonate with her. I smiled, tucking some of her strands of long hair behind her ears.
"Really dad, you won't go anywhere? I already lost my parents once back in Hinamizawa. I don't want to lose you or mom too. I couldn't bear that," she confessed as a few stray tears fell down her face. I brushed them away with my gloved thumbs.
"No, we aren't going anywhere. We're tougher than that here in Wonderland, I can assure you that," I assured her. She seemed satisfied with that and rested her head back against my chest once more. She clung to me like a child, her breathing relaxing as I held her close to me. I did not give a damn about my mafia business for the time being. My daughter came first as did Alice whenever she was in trouble.
Further words weren't exchanged as I continued to hold her. She eventually dozed off, seemingly relaxed in my arms. It had been awhile since I just spent time with her like this. I knew the twins had been preoccupying a lot of her time nowadays. At every tea party and meal when I saw her, she smiled and chatted happily with the twins, Elliot, and Alice and I, smiling as she did so. She seemed happier since we took her in. But I knew that she would still have moments where she broke down from her trauma. That was natural, especially to the degree of what she had seemingly gone through.
I saw the scars on her arms from her past self-inflicted wounds. My thumb traced them absentmindedly; they were a faded white as they stood out slightly from her already pale skin tone. She was still fighting an unseen battle but she seemed to be winning so far. I hoped she would stay strong and continue to fight. She's made it this far. I sighed, allowing her to continue to sleep against me….
(Rika's POV)
I found myself in the familiar and colorful dreamscape. I wondered how I had got here, I remember talking with my dad and then I broke down crying. Then he consoled me with kind words and he held me against him. I felt comforted by his presence and I was emotionally tired and fell asleep…Then, I found myself here in the familiar dream world…
I looked around, wondering where Nightmare was. I have not seen that dream demon for quite a while. Last time, I was here Dee and Dum occupied this space with me and I showed them part of Hinamizawa and the Cotton Drifting Festival. We kissed and the next thing I knew, we were sharing thoughts back and forth. It was as if their souls had slightly merged with mine in a sense. Yet, they were still them. I sighed, shaking my head as I got confused by such thoughts. I took a deep breath and I collected myself.
I imagined the Hinamizawa River and that scenery and the river filled the dream space. Trees formed along with the rushing river as it had appeared during the day. It was calm as the water flowed calmly downstream and the wind blew through the trees as well as my hair. I walked toward the edge of the riverbank to examine my reflection. Like father had observed, my eyes had become almost endless pools of amethyst with just a glimmer of light reflecting in them. I felt like myself, I did not feel any different. Was I really becoming Bernkastel? I wish Nightmare were here so I could talk to him for a few minutes…
Sure enough, a golden light shone bright in front of me and revealed the form of a man wearing a nice black suit with a lavender dress shirt underneath appeared. "You called for me, Lady Rika?" he inquired with his deep voice. I nodded. He landed on the shore next to me and sat down on the river bank. I worried that he would get his nice clothes dirty.
"Pish posh, it is a dreamscape. Such mundane worries are unnecessary here. I know your question…is you becoming Bernkastel? The answer is….yes. This was inevitable as Joker had pointed out because of your one hundred years of suffering. Whether you will become heartless is up to you. Only you can make that call," he answered simply without of his usual friendliness. This made me sad, did the twins hate me? Were people going to hate me for something I had no control over?
"No Nightmare, I am Ri-ka," I tried to counter with my red truth. However as I tried to get the words out, my throat felt as though it was closing up and I could not breathe. Damnit! Goddamnit! I panicked, trying to keep what bit of sanity I had left.
"The red truth can only be used to confirm absolute facts. You are Fredrica Bernkastel, the Witch of Miracles and our newest Role Holder in Wonderland. This fact will be confirmed at the upcoming Assembly Meeting. How people react will be up to them. Don't let this fact derail all of the progress you have made so far with your healing. I promise you I will do my best to support you as your friend," he said, also confirming that I was now Bernkastel. It had been confirmed with the red truth…it was absolute fact, whether I liked this or not.
"Whether or not I am official now Bernkastel, please call me Rika. I am still Rika Furude deep down in my heart. At least grant me that much," I pleaded with him. He sighed, putting a hand on my shoulder and he became his usual friendly self. He replied to my request with a nod.
"Of course Lady Bern, I mean, Lady Rika," he assured me as he corrected himself midsentence. I sighed softly; he seemed to be on my side at least. "I will always be your ally, Lady Rika," he added. I ended talking about more of my trauma from when I went through the loops. I spoke about things that I had not discussed with my parents or the twins. I would tell them when I felt like I could be better prepared mentally. However, here I felt safe enough that I could share these things. I felt devoid of emotions, feeling almost numb as I talked. He listened without comment. I wish I could tell my friends that I was sorry for leaving them. I did not talk about this often, but I still thought about Rena, Mion, Keiichi, Shion and even Satoko. I was not prepared for the next thing he said…
"You must let go of Satoko. Her memory will continue to bring you nothing but harm. I sense even your good memories of her are now tainted. I will help you work through and allow these painful memories go as best as you can," he said with a grave expression but his voice was still caring. I nodded as I knew he was right. Regardless of my purple eyes looking emotionless, I still felt emotions coursing through me.
"I understand, it is painful as she has been my childhood friend for the longest time. I helped her and she helped me. I was discovered when I found out she was a looper. The last memory of her is a painful one and it has crippled me mentally for the longest time. I can hardly talk about it without breaking down. However, here I feel safe enough to talk about these things without the threat of those emotions overwhelming me. If I could tell my friends one thing, I'd tell them: "I'm sorry for failing you. I did my best to be your friend. I wanted all of us to live past June 1983 and live happily for as long as time would allow. I wish you the best. Satoko, I wish things could have been better between us. I'm sorry for whatever made you feel like you had to punish me. I only wanted you to share my dream in attending St. Lucia Academy with me. I should have listened to you better when you conveyed your insecurities. I'm sorry. I did my best to be there for you but you pushed me away. I cannot help you if you did not let me." That's what I'd say to them," I finished as I took a deep breath. Saying all of these things was heavy but felt necessary.
"Good job, Rika. This is the first step in healing. I'm sure you have heard somebody tell you this before but your friends would not want you to suffer. They would want you to be happy wherever you ended up. Even though life did not quite turn out the way you wanted it to, you got a second chance here in Wonderland," he replied. Our conversation continued for quite some time after that. I felt relieved as I was able to express these feelings I so often held in my heart. He hugged me once more and then I woke up in my father's arms….
"Sorry about that, I guess I was more tired than I thought," I admitted groggily as I looked up into my father's emerald green eyes. He only smiled, shaking his head and said I did not need to apologize. I told him a little bit about my conversation with Nightmare. I have apparently become Bernkastel according to him with his red truth.
"As I said before, I don't care if you're Rika or Bernkastel, you're my daughter and I love you very much. That will never change," he assured me again with another smile. I returned his smile, feeling better hearing that from him. I hope the twins felt the same way. I had to find them right away.
"Thank you dad for spending time with me and letting me know that you care. I love you and mom so much. That will never change," I replied, hugging him once more before I stood up and stretched.
"You're welcome, Rika. You're always welcome to come in here if you need to talk," he replied. "However, I think it is time we get ready for the Assembly Meeting. Can I count on you to make sure two certain gatekeepers attend as well?" he added with a small smirk. I nodded and assured him that I would make them attend at least one of the meetings. "Good," he finished and he walked out with me and we met up with mom. Then we made our way along with Dee and Dum as well as Uncle Elliot to Clover Tower….
I did not know what to think as we approached the green towers at the end of the forest. They looked ornate with clover like decorations and the green marble like surfaces seemed to sparkle in the sun. It looked more like a small castle than towers. I felt as though they were going to swallow me up as I walked down the path that leads inside. I stayed close to Dee and Dum who grabbed each of my hands to stabilize me. 'It will be ok sis,' Dum reassures me in my mind. I nodded, taking a deep breath to try to get my nerves under control.
Inside the Clover Tower was decorated with a bright green carpet with olive green walls that seemed to sparkle off the lights inside. I look around, trying to take in all of the details. I did not have time to catch everything as my family and I continued walking forward, Dee and Dum still held on to my hands which I was grateful for. I hope they knew how much I appreciated them being near me. I gripped their hands a little tighter because of my nerves.
Soon, we approached this giant room that seemed to be at the end of the corridor. It had bench like seating like that of a college lecture hall. We took our designated spots near the middle row. Then the other role holders began to file in. I recognized Ace from Heart Castle and Aunt Vivaldi but I did not recognize the white rabbit. He seemed to look straight forward, a cold expression resting on his face and in his crimson colored eyes. Ace waved at me awkwardly. I flat out ignored him for the time being and mentally flipped him off for attempting to kill me last time.
"Hey here comes Boris! Hi Boris, how are you? It has been awhile since we have seen you last," said Dee as he and Dum pulled me over to where the magenta haired cat boy stood. He seemed to be dressed up nice with a nice suit, wearing a simple ribbon around his neck with a dark plum colored shirt that had part of his chest exposed. The rest of his outfit consisted of black slacks, suit jacket, and a strange furry boa that was pink and magenta striped. He had it draped around his arms. Golden earrings hung from his cat ears and tail which I found kind of curious. His long black jacket made him look almost pirate like.
Gold eyes eyed the twins curiously for a moment before regarding me. His left eye seemed hidden beneath his bangs on one side. "Well, if it isn't Dee and Dum? How long has it been? Who's the new girl? Haven't seen her around before," he said nonchalantly as if he did not have a care in the world.
"She's our "little sister" and girlfriend. We love her a whole lot, don't we brother?" said Dee, partially introducing me. Dum nodded in agreement as he finished his brother's sentence, "Yes, she's very special to us. Her name is Rika." The one known as Boris quirked an eyebrow as he observed me, I gulped as I felt a little nervous. "Don't worry sis, Boris is awesome. I'm sure you two will be friends in no time," Dee reassured me. That was up for Boris to decide.
"Are you the new rumored witch Role Holder? I've heard rumors circling about that a witch role holder was joining us, she is said to be named Bernkastel," replied Boris, putting a hand on his chin in thought. I gulped, had rumors really spread that fast?
"Please, just call me Rika sir. That is my name after all," I insisted of the cat pirate. He regarded me for a moment before he responded. Then his expression relaxed and a grin spread across his features.
"Sure thing Rika, anybody special to these two can be a friend of mine. Welcome to Wonderland and your first Assembly meeting. I will warn you that it is boring as hell though," he replied, his carefree tone back. He reminded me slightly of Keiichi in his manner of speaking. A sad pang filled my heart at the thought of my old friend back in Hinamizawa. "I'm Boris Airay, the Cheshire cat, it's nice to meet you officially, Rika," he added, extending his hand which I accepted and shook in a friendly manner. "Whelp, I suppose we better get to our seats. I hope to talk to you later," he finished before departing. Pirate cat boy seemed nice enough, I thought as we went to sit with the rest of the Hatter Family.
"What did you think of Boris sis?" asked Dee suddenly.
"He seemed nice enough. I liked him," I replied honestly. Even though I didn't know him well, he left me with a decent first impression. Before we could talk more, Nightmare and a taller man that I did not know came into the room. Silence fell instantly except the one occasional cough which seemed to come from Nightmare himself. Was he ok? I felt concerned for the dream demon. He looked nice dressed up in his black suit and lavender dress shirt.
"Why thank you, Rika," he replied in my mind suddenly. The twins glared daggers at Nightmare. "Oh right, you two seem to also share Rika's thoughts as well due to your spiritual connection," he realized, talking to us in my mind. I sighed, already I was singled out. I hoped this would pass without too much incident. "Relax, Lady Rika I promise I won't let anybody heckle you," Nightmare assured me. The twins sighed, realizing that Nightmare was not going to steal me away from them. Goddamnit, you should be more secure than that, you two! They scratched the back of their heads sheepishly, looking away from me for a moment.
"Sorry sis, you're right," they said collectively, apologizing to me. I sighed and told them it was fine. Just please have some faith in me. Nightmare is a friend, I assured them. They nodded, not saying anything further as their minds went blank for the time being.
Nightmare cleared his throat as the taller man dressed in black with dark hair and sharp golden eyes sat behind him. "Welcome to the first Country of Clover Assembly meeting. It is very good to see you all here. A few ground rules, no fighting is allowed as Clover Tower is a Neutral Territory. Take any squabbles outside or save them for after the meeting. That being said let us begin…." He said and the meeting had been started.
I quickly found myself bored as hell. Thoughts of boredom also floated through Dee and Dum's minds as well. What was talked about were pretty standard things, things I had no interest in, and the twins seemed to mirror my sentiment. I silently wished for a bottle of plum spiced wine. Suddenly, a bottle of wine appeared in my hand which I opened quietly somehow and drank straight from the bottle. I offered a sip to the twins but they shook their heads. I shrugged, drinking a little more until I had the bottle disappear from sight again.
Unbeknownst to me, my little magic trick attracted some attention. "We have a new role holder amongst us today. Come up here and introduce yourself, Rika," said Nightmare suddenly. I felt as if an invisible spotlight had singled me out. I looked from my parents to Uncle Elliot, and back to the twins nervously. The twins did their best to offer support to me mentally, I appreciated their efforts but it failed to calm my nerves. I nervously walked up to where Nightmare was and stood in front of the crowd of Role Holders, many of which I did not know except the Hatter Family of course since they were my adopted family, Boris, Queen Vivaldi, Ace and Nightmare.
"H...Hello all, I am Rika; it is nice to meet you. I hope to help out Wonderland in whatever capacity I can. I am still new to magic and being a Role Holder so please bear with me."
I said in a composed voice. I curtsied politely to the crowd. However, their eyes seemed to bore into me except those I had known. I glanced to each face in the crowd that did not belong to somebody I know, their eyes were cold. Why? They reminded me of Satoko when she was….no….not now damn it….I refused to break down here!
Nightmare seemed to sense the sudden tension in the room and came to my rescue. "Rika everyone, she's a kind and sweet girl and if you give her a chance, I'm sure you will be able to come to accept her in time," he said. His kind words did not make the tension evaporate in the slightest. My eyes met Ace's cold red ones as he withdrew his sword and suddenly charged at me.
Acting in defense, I summoned my version of the twins' halberd scythe and held it aloft, blocking his strike. "I should have ganked you when I had the chance, Bitch!" he growled at me. Why the sudden hostility toward me? What had changed? I pushed him back with a force of light I conjured from the blade, knocking him back into the wall.
"Back the fuck off, knight! I am not in the mood for games! If you want, I can kill you right here and now! You don't want to piss me off!" I growled in a voice unlike my own. My eyes felt emotionless, an endless sea of dark purple as I glared at Ace. I did not want to do this here. The other Role Holders seemed to be either concerned or slightly in awe of me. Ace stupidly tried again to charge at me. This time, Dee and Dum intercepted with their own halberd axes, blocking his strike and pushed him back with their own magical strikes. How? Did they channel my power?
"ENOUGH! Ace YOU Dumbass KNIGHT! YOU FUCKING disgraced us this day! How DARE YOU ATTACK OUR NIECE!" bellowed Vivaldi at Ace as she proceeded to slap him. This shut him up quick and more whispering had begun. I was fuming as I still held my weapon ready to knock back the next fool that challenged me.
"Order, ORDER! Somebody get Ace the hell out of here!" demanded Nightmare. The crimson clad knight had been kicked out of the meeting. I made my weapon disappear but I had no fucking interest in sticking around. I bolted out of the room suddenly, needing to be alone for a few minutes…
I did not pay attention to where I was going. I ran out into a mysterious forest that seemed to be adjacent to the towers. Fish were swimming in the air as well as jellyfish and other marine life was flying above my head. Doors appeared on the trees the deeper I ran into the forest. I could hear the voices of my friends behind one. Curiously, I opened one as if it could be a way to reconnect with them.
When I opened the door, I saw Keiichi, Rena, Mion and Shion playing club games without a care in the world. A short haired blonde, my former friend Satoko seemed to be missing from this group. I tried to call out to them to see if they heard me. Keiichi pauses for a moment, his violet eyes looking around. "Did you guys hear that?" he asked them. The rest shook their heads.
"I could have sworn that I heard a voice that sounded like Rika's…maybe my mind is playing tricks on me," he admitted as he scratched the back of his short brown hair. I felt crestfallen. I was an illusion to him, to them.
"Keii-chan, did you hear? Satoko killed Rika a long time ago and then took her own life in the river. They say that the curse finally caught up with Satoko and Oyashiro-sama punished her for her crimes against her Shrine Maiden…" said Mion as matter of factly, her voice serious as she addressed Keiichi and their group. Her green eyes seemed to be full of steel. I had….died? What…? But I was…here…alive!
"GUYS I'm RIGHT HERE! I'M RIGHT HERE! PLEASE!" I shouted at them. They ignored any further shouts and the door shut suddenly, throwing me backwards against the tree. Tears blinded my vision, they thought I died? How? What the hell had happened? I remembered falling through the rabbit hole and everything before that event seemed to be a blur. Sure I remembered past loops of past fragments but not what lead me to being chased through the forest and falling into Wonderland all that time ago. I got up on shaky legs and tried to open the door again but it remained locked. I pounded the door desperately, wanting to tell my friends I was alive but it was to no avail. I sunk to my knees in front of the door, sobbing my heart out, tears blinding my vision. I eventually cried myself to sleep as the night time change settled over the sky as the fish swam in the trees above…
"RIKA, RIKA! WHERE ARE YOU!? RIKA?!" I heard voices shouting, familiar voices calling my name. I groggily opened my eyes, my dress was dirty and my hair probably was slightly disheveled. I tried to stand but did not have the strength to do so. I had seen Keiichi and my friends living their normal lives in Hinamizawa as if the loops had not happened. It broke my heart that they thought I was dead… that Satoko had "killed me." Was I really just a ghost? Yet, I cried, bled, and had feelings. I was alive….maybe just not alive in Hinamizawa anymore. I tried standing up again only to fall to my knees once more.
"H…Help," I said in a quiet weak voice. Emotionally, I felt broken. As if something heard my plea, here come two familiar faces with the most vivid red and blue beautiful eyes. I smiled weakly before passing out again…
"Rika, Rika, it's us, it's Dee and Dum. Wake up sis, we're worried about you, are you ok?" they pounded me with questions. I could barely make out their voices as I slowly awoke again. I reached out to touch one of their faces to make sure they were real. Sure enough, they were. Dum was cradling me in his arms. I suddenly broke down crying and buried my face in his suit covered chest, clutching the material for dear life, not wanting him to go. He only held me tighter. "What happened sis? Did you see something from your past?" he asked me quietly. I nodded and murmured something about seeing my friends in one of the forest doors.
"I…I tried calling out to them…apparently they said I had….died…I'm not dead…I'm here with you two, with dad and mom, and Uncle Elliot and Aunt Vivaldi…" I replied, tears still falling as I looked up at Dum in earnest, looking into his ruby eyes with my own. I loved how they stood out against his dark raven colored hair. Same with Dee's blue eyes, they were beautiful. Both of them were beautiful. My mind filled with these thoughts to reassure myself they were here.
"Of course, we aren't going anywhere," assured Dum, hugging me tightly to him again. I put my arms around his neck and hugged him back tightly. I wished my friends could know I was ok. "As much as I hate to say this, maybe by saying you "died" is their way of letting you go. I know it hurts, Rika. But you no longer belong in their world. You belong here in Wonderland with us, with your family," he added. I released my hold on his shoulders briefly to look at him again. I searched his eyes as I absorbed his words. They had a truth to them. Maybe they did…but what about….Satoko?
"Fuck Her! She clearly did not have your best interests as your friend!" exclaimed Dee in frustration. It caused me to look at him, his blue eyes hard as stone as he said these words. I sighed, both of them were right. I took a deep breath, realizing that they were correct. I nodded, despite still feeling that stabbing pain in my heart. Dee then took me from Dum to hold me in his arms. He hugged me as Dum had done to comfort me.
My mind swam with so many emotions as I tried to comprehend what I had seen in the tree's door, the concept of me being "dead in Hinamizawa", as well as being "killed" by Satoko. Goddamn her! Goddamn Satoko! I hated saying that or even thinking that about my once childhood friend but I was angry with her. More tears filled my eyes as these thoughts continued swimming through my mind. Did the Twins hear them too? I looked up into Dee's crystal blue eyes that seemed to have swirling emotions of their own in them. He sighed, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
"How could we not hear your thoughts, Rika? We share your mind remember? So yes, in a way we did see what you saw when you opened that door in the tree. However, we don't know what to tell you. All we can do is help you as best as we can. Where do we go from here? I understand this is difficult for you, especially with this little bitch named Satoko…she is not somebody who is worth your attention. Focus on the people who do care about you and who do have your best interests at heart. Focus on us, big sis and our boss, and even the stupid chicken rabbit. Think of them and us, we care about you," answered Dee in a serious tone that seemed unlike him. His words hit me hard; I sighed and realized he was right, that both he and Dum were correct.
I then turned myself in Dum's direction and his eyes mirrored his brother's. I was met with the same stone resolution that Dee had felt when it concerned Satoko. Even with those emotions being reflected in their eyes, I found them comforting as I always did. They wanted me to be happy and were looking out for me as usual. I smiled as that warmth sank into my chest. Maybe with their help, letting Satoko go would be possible.
"I realize you both are correct. Maybe clinging to the hope that she would change is stupid. If she really cared about me as she claimed to as she performed the "Cotton Drifting" ritual as she raked out my insides, then she would not have done that. Friends don't do shit like that to each other, we work things out like civilized people," I replied with a sardonic smile on my face. For some reason, talking about this event with them did not bother me as much as it used to. Sure, it still stung that she had done that to me but I was learning to live with that pain now. I would do my best to turn that pain into strength and focus it on those who really mattered. Like Dee and Dum, they mattered to me and I loved them.
My words seemed to bring some light of realization back to Dum's ruby eyes. I felt the same feeling also wash over Dee as his hold on me tightened. I relaxed a little bit more with them. I did not know how they made me feel better but they had that effect on me. Dum decided to take me from Dee's arms so he could hold me for a bit. I looked up at him in slight confusion; he only smiled at me as he kissed me softly on the lips. Then, he set me in front of him, grabbing my curtain of long indigo colored hair in both of his hands, and started to comb through it gently with his fingers. Even Dee eyed his brother's actions with mild curiosity. His fingers felt strange but oddly relaxing as he continued to comb them through my hair, he was very gentle.
"Do you know how beautiful your hair is sis? Even our big sister's hair isn't this beautiful," complimented Dum softy as he continued running his fingers through my hair. I blushed slightly because of his words. I never really thought about it. I appreciated his compliment however.
"Uh thank you? I guess I just never took the time to cut it. It only grew longer as I got older and I was used to it like this," I confessed with a mild shrug. Dee decided to lie against my chest suddenly and I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer to me. I played with his ponytail absentmindedly as Dum was playing with my hair. I then felt him separate it into three sections and he proceeded to braid it skillfully with his adept fingers. The motion was comforting to me. By the time he reached the end, he searched for something to tie off my new long braid with. With that, Dee sat up suddenly and undid his hair ribbon, letting his raven black hair fall to his shoulders. I looked at him with mild confusion as he handed off his blue ribbon to Dum who used it to tie off the end of my braid. My blushed bloomed more on my face, becoming a little more pronounced with this action.
Then Dum took the long strands of my hair that framed my face, brought them back and tied them off with his own hair clips. Why did he do that? "Because I wanted to and I thought it would make you happy," answered Dum honestly. I smiled at his words, he did make me happy. He did not need to braid my hair to do that. Just he being by my side made me happy. "While I appreciate those thoughts as does Dee, we like doing stuff once in a while for you. Please allow us that much," he added, and then he kissed my ear softly. My eyes widened and then he bit my ear softly which drew a soft moan from my lips.
Dee lifts his head off my chest, grabs my wrist gently and then kisses me on the lips softly. My blush continued to become more pronounced on my face as he deepened it and as Dum used his tongue to thrust inside my ear a little. I gasped softly which was enough for Dee's tongue to dive into my mouth and subdued mine, licking my tongue into submission. They continued these actions for a while, making me feel a lot between them and my heart felt like it would burst out of my chest. They continued making me feel things I did not ever think I would be capable of feeling. I loved them so much. I don't want to ever be apart from them. I loved them more than anything. I smiled against Dee's lips and he released my lips with a small smirk, he then kissed my cheek.
His ocean blue eyes observed me with interest, searching my endless purple orbs for something. I smiled up at him, loving how the sun looked shining in his raven, shoulder length hair. He looked quite beautiful as did Dum. I couldn't put these emotions and thoughts into words. But they seemed to hear them fine and I received a joint kiss on my lips and ear in confirmation they did. "We love you too, sis," they both whispered to me. I reached out to hug Dee. Instead, Dee picked me up and cradled me against his chest. I snuggled up against him happily, feeling warm with a full heart. Dum appeared next to us and I wrapped my left arm around him to bring him into my chest for a hug. I hugged the twins as best as I could from my position being held by Dee. I kissed the top of Dum's short haired head happily, letting him know that he would never be left out of my love. I had enough love to share between them and that would never change…