CHAPTER 6

AN: Reference made to Arthur Schopenhauer's philosophy.

The second day of the new year found Harry nervously running his fingers through his hair while he waited. He hated waiting. It was his least favorite thing about his research in fact. He shifted in his seat, shuffled some papers around and then shuffled them again. Finally, the door to his office made a faint squeak. He always appreciated the noise as it was a simple alert signaling that someone was at the door.

"Hey Pop, Tom said you were looking for me?" Rose said as she entered the room.

Harry looked up from notes he was taking and gave his daughter a wide smile. "Yes, come in. Close the door."

"Am I in trouble? Because whatever it is, I didn't do it."

"No, you're not in trouble." Harry waved a hand and the room was warded for maximum privacy.

"Woah, what's going on? You only ward your study when you're working on super-secret world changing medicine."

Harry chuckled. "Sit down, squirt." She sat in the chair directly in front of his desk. "This is difficult. Now I know how Tom felt the other day."

"Dad, are you okay? Should I put the kettle on?"

Harry took a deep breath. "Never mind tea. I wanted to talk to you about something very important."

Rose groaned. "Are you giving me 'the Talk'?"

"What? No!" Harry laughed.

"Oh thank Merlin."

"We'll cover that when you hit puberty."

Rose turned beet red and then grumbled sarcastically. "I look forward to both."

"I actually wanted to tell you a story." At Rose's confused look he pressed on. "I wanted to tell you my story. My life, before…"

"Woah, your life before you adopted me?"

"Yes."

"You don't like talking about that. It always makes you sad."

Harry removed a red book from the top desk drawer of his desk. "Here."

Rose took it and opened it. It was a photo album. "Hey, this is Mum and Dad. I didn't know you had more pictures of them." She smiled at the photo of James twirling Lily around in front of a large stone water fountain. She flipped the page. "Look how cute I was." It was a photo of Lily holding a sleeping newborn. She kept flipping pages until she saw one of a baby, wide eyed, smiling. "I don't have green eyes." She was quick in her observation.

"But I do."

Rose looked up startled. "You? This is you!" Harry nodded. She frantically flipped through the pages. Harry taking his first steps, flying a toy broom. Riding on top of a large black dog. Then the baby pictures stop. Now he's eleven, laughing with his friends at Hogwarts. "Are you my brother?" She asked cautiously.

"No, Rose. I'm you. In a sense."

"Me?" she whispers, clutching the album to her chest. "What are you talking about?"

"I was born Harry James Potter on July 31 1980 to Lily and James Potter. My parents were killed on Halloween 1981 by the hand of the Dark Lord Voldemort. I was the sole survivor. The-Boy-Who-Lived. The leader of the light, Albus Dumbledore, sent me to live with my mother's sister, Petunia and her family. I lived there for ten years not knowing about magic. Or about my parents."

Rose blinked, eyebrows furrowed. "You were born in 1980. Like me. Why do you look older?"

"Because I am. I was seventeen when I came here."

"When was that?"

"1980."

"1980! But, but...that means…you could have saved them!" She threw the album angrily at him but he caught it.

"I tried." He spoke softly as he closed the album and placed it on the desk.

She started crying; then shouted. "You didn't try hard enough! Did you want me to be an orphan like you?"

"Rose. Please believe me. I tried." Her cries quieted but tears fell still. "I love you and I never wanted you to be without your parents. I have always wanted your life to be better than mine. Remember who I am Rose, I'm Pops. The man who has loved and cared for you for as long as you can remember."

She hiccupped. "What happened?"

"Once I figured out what year it was. I went to your parent's house in Godric's Hollow. I could not get near them. I couldn't go near anyone in the Wizarding world. Whatever magic at work would displace me in a blink. I tried. For days, weeks, months. I tried. Walking, running, apparition, writing letters, using owls, using muggle post, the floo, switching spells on notes. Throwing things at people to get their attention. I was invisible to them, intangible. I even tried to get a muggle to send messages for me. I was pushed and apparated to my hiding place. My letters disintegrated out of existence. When September arrived I tried walking through the barrier at Kings Cross. It was like a force field appeared all around both platforms 9 and 10. Nothing worked. Same thing with the Leaky Cauldron, Diagon Alley, Hogsmead, the visitor entrance to the Ministry. I even performed magic in front of muggles, a crowd of them in Leicester Square, to attract the Ministry. I was being nullified by something."

"Then," she calmed down enough to speak. "...how am I here? How did you get me?"

"As soon as Dumbledore was defeated, whatever magic was at play stopped."

"The prophecy?"

"I'm not sure, perhaps."

"You're me." She stared, eyes roaming his face.

Harry nodded. "From some other world. Dimension. Universe. Take your pick."

"But the concept of a multiverse hasn't been proven."

"That is because it can't be tested. At least not with muggle science. Magic is infinite, it's sentient, it's non-scientific. I doubt I'm the only one who has experienced it but I know I won't announce it to the papers. Maybe those others agreed. Or maybe, like me, they want to simply move on."

"Move on?"

"Even with what happened with Emily and Caelum, I think that where I came from was the worst possible world. At least for me. If there is anything worse out there than what I lived, then it simply can't exist. It must have imploded in itself. I don't like to think about the possibility that there could be worse."

"Maybe there is a better place than here."

"How could there be when you are here. You are what I didn't know I wished for."

Rose thought about that for several minutes. "Is that why you adopted me? To move on?"

"Yes and no. Mostly I wanted better for you than what I had."

"Was your life before really that bad?"

"Yes."

"How? You never say."

"For now, know that when I was a kid, in my small dark room, I used to close my eyes and imagine that a flying motorbike would take me away. Far away. I didn't want that for you. Hoping and wishing is a wonderful thing but if that's all you have then it's not enough. I wouldn't wish my past on you."

"How are things different?"

"Many things. The biggest one of course is the Dark Lord. In my world Dumbledore was an interfering twit but he wasn't murdering people, as far as I know. Though they were both obsessed with prophesied babies, I digress. The crazy man after me didn't stay dead the day my parents died. He kept coming back for years until I killed him once and for all when I was seventeen. Here, the Dark Lord is completely gone. I've checked numerous times to make sure. I am not going to let anyone hurt you."

Rose nodded. "So exactly how did you get here?"

"Magic."

"Dad!" The old Rose was still there even with the shocking news.

"I'm not being flippant. After the battle I remember laying in bed in Gryffindor tower. As I fell asleep I made a wish."

"What did you wish for?"

"That I could have saved them. All those people who died. War is never gentle. I also wished I had a family."

"You didn't get what you wanted."

"Of course I did."

"What? How? You didn't go back in time in your own world. To save them. You were sent here."

"For the most part, everyone I knew that died is alive here . And I have you. You are my family. I couldn't save your parents but I made sure you had love. I hoped to be for you, what I didn't have. Someone who was there, who made me their priority."

"Oh." She wiped her tears. "Why don't we look the same?"

"Different genetic make-up. Just because we have the same parents doesn't mean we are mirror images. You were born a girl. I was born a boy. You look like mom but with dad's eyes. I look like dad but with mom's eyes."

"You don't look like him though."

"Maurice blood adopted me."

"Grandpa? Really?"

"Yes. He was a squib so it was still magically possible. That's how I became a Black. The blood adoption changed my name and my features. I now have a mix of dad and Maurice."

"Why are you telling me now?"

"Because of Tom."

"You told him?!"

"No, Rose. I wouldn't tell anyone before you. No one else knows. Though, I think Maurice suspected something but never asked."

"What does Tom have to do with this?"

"In my world, the Dark Lord was Tom Riddle."

"Seriously!"

"Yes."

"Your new best friend was the psycho who tried to kill you?!"

"Yes."

"How can you stand him?!"

"They're not the same person, Rose."

"Well, I know that. But still. This is mental."

"He was insane. Looked more like a serpent than a man. No hair, not even a nose. Creepy red eyes."

"Ewww."

"I agree. He was definitely not nice to look at."

"Dad!"

"He really isn't the same person."

"Still."

"I know."

"Okay."

"You're a good kid."

"Are you ever going to tell him?"

"Do you think I should?"

"I don't know."

"Would you want to know if you had an evil counterpart in a different plane of existence?"

"Would you?"

"No."

"Why?"

"You cannot un-know something."

"You can with magic."

"Magic aside."

"You mean like when you tell me not to think of pink fluffy bunnies and that's all I can think about."

"That's as good a comparison as any, yes."

"Then if you told him that he was basically Dumbledore he wouldn't stop thinking about it."

"I think so."

"What about me?"

"I am not your evil counterpart."

"No...but what if I can't stop thinking about it?"

"Should I remove your memory of this entire conversation?"

She bit her lip. "I want to say no but..."

"But?"

"Pink fluffy bunnies."

"I understand."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise. It's very mature and wise of you to realize you can't see yourself, or me, the same knowing the truth."

"Maybe Tom will take the news better. It's not fair that you can't talk to someone about your secret."

"You knowing is enough."

"I won't remember."

"You won't. But I will. I will remember that I told you. I will remember that you were loving and brave in the face of it."

"But maybe he won't…"

"It's our secret"

"You can take his memory away too."

Harry shook his head. "No, I don't need to remember that. He's not the villain."

-THE END-