A/n - As I promised. The scene where As'lana heads to Redcliffe Castle to meet with Teagan after they arrive in Redcliffe Village. I play with the dates a bit. In canon Teagan takes over the Arl of Redcliffe in 9:38 Dragon. With the Origins games taking place in 9:30-31 Dragon. (or at least that's what I found) I have Eamon giving up the title for his brother in 9:34 Dragon instead.

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Redcliffe Castle was quiet. Night had settled in the stone walls, begging for silence. If there was anyone else awake but the knight charging after the Grey Warden, As'lana and the Arl, they hid their presence well. The night had settled in, and everyone should be asleep.

As'lana knew the Redcliffe Castle far better than a woman like her should. She was an elf from an Alienage, sworn to the Grey Warden order. She had no reason to know all the hidden alcoves that allowed secret moments. She should not know how the cold stone felt on her back as she was pressed against it by a warm willing body. She knew the shades of color of every wall, and how it changed through the seasons and the day and night. She could find her way through the walls of this human castle blindfolded. There was no reason the outside world could see that explained it. Yet it was.

As'lana tried to silence her loud beating heart, warming her skin against the cold air that suffocated the night. She had told herself during her last visit; never again. She could not keep tying her heart to a man; she was only able to sneak hidden moments of joy and love. She had made the promise to herself before; after the fall of the Archdemon, when she sought out the Bann's warm smile. His sweet words and comforting arms held her and reminded her that she was alive. He was far to proper and honorable, but never said no to her gift of kisses and touch. She spent days wrapped in that feeling, basking in the love she knew was blooming, but had no desire in herself to fight.

When she left the Guerrin Estate in Denerim a week after the fight was over. Her mind was so plagued with thoughts of the Bann, she found herself constantly wanting to return. That was the first time she promised herself to put a stop to the feelings. He was a human noble, and she was an elf. There was nothing but pain and loneliness awaiting such a pair. He would marry some human woman and have heirs. Children of an elf would never be accepted, even if she could bear them. Grey Wardens had children before, Alistair had said, but only males with non-warden women. There was no record of Warden women having children.

She chastised herself for the thoughts at the time. It did not matter if she could have his child or not. She could not suddenly lose what she was, not that she would want to, to begin with. She was proud to be an elf. A living representation of her People's resilience.

She had done well to avoid the Bann while the Warden-Commander of Ferelden. He was too busy with his duties to seek her out and she with hers. The feeling moved to the back of her mind, hidden deeply in her heart. She pressed the thoughts and dreams of him as far away as possible, and for a few years it worked. She thought it was done, and she could move past it. When Clay came from Orlais at her request, to take over the Command at Vigil's Keep, she found herself allowed to spend more time alone with her thoughts. Her desire to see Teagan, burst from the place she had locked it away.

He had taken up the Arling of his brother Eamon in the years following the Blight. Eamon stayed in Denerim to advise Anora, when she'd listen, and keep support for the Theirin line alive, should Alistair ever wish to sit in his father's throne. As'lana had wandered the Bannon with Jowan and Howe with no real direction, but knowing she needed to stay available for Clay should he need her support or advice. Eventually she found her way to Redcliffe, hiding in Bella's bar and inn, still named Warden's Rest. She couldn't sleep for thoughts of Teagan burning at her heels to see him. He likely had moved away from her, as she had failed to do with him. Surely, she told herself, a human noble would not stay in love with an elf.

The morning she walked through the castle steps and into the front hall, was a moment she would never forget. Arl Teagan stood quietly, his posture as tense as she felt, standing beside him was Ser Devon clearly trying to get the Arl's attention. She lost her breath when he looked up, eyes taking her in as if any moment she would not be there. She felt hot in her armor, despite the cold metal of the enchanted dragon scales. She wanted to fidget to get out the energy that suddenly pulsed through her veins. He smiled, a smile she recalled from the brief time before the battle at Denerim. It was full of hesitancy and warmth. He was as uncertain as she was. She walked toward him, promises forgotten, as he dismissed Ser Devon and pulled her away.

The years that followed, mirror those moments. She'd stay for a few months and then flee the emotion, knowing that eventually she'd drown in the sorrow of never truly having him. In response, he'd vanish to the Free Marshes to spend time with his family there, leaving the managing of Redcliffe to his brother. He'd return as duty demanded of him, and she would not be far behind. The cycle would begin again.

As'lana pushed on the door leading to the Arl's suites, knowing that Teagan never locked the door when he was expecting her. She took a deep breath before entering, swearing she would not give in to herself this time. She needed to stop this madness before they both drowned in it.

"Arl Guerrin..." She stepped inside and saw the relief melt the face of her love. She bit her lip to stop herself from moving closer to him. She wanted to run her fingers through his hair as he pressed his hands into her waist reassuring himself that she was there. Every moment when they returned to each other was like that. The need to check the other was flesh and blood. He smiled weakly. She had made a point to call him by his proper name and title, in hopes that the change would put distance between them. Based on his expression he knew what she was doing.

"As'lana." He walked toward her, eyes warm with such a deep love; she knew the fight was a losing one. She didn't hear the door behind her click shut as he placed a hand under her jaw, bring her face to look at him.

"Teagan..." His name was whispered through her lips. She loved him, and it was going to kill her. "We... This needs to stop." His face twisted in pain as he leaned forward pressing their foreheads together. She moved her hands to press into his chest, feeling his heart pounding as loudly as her own. He was warm and alive, and she was thankful for it.

"Death would be a blessing if I could no longer hold you in my arms, my love." She snorted, pulled away to bury her face in his chest. "Do you laugh, my lady?" His voice bright with humor. "I share my profound feelings and my lady giggles." The mock offense caused her to laugh harder, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Perhaps if my lord was not being so dramatic his lady would not have cause to laugh." He broke his stance, arms pulling her tightly against him and into the air. She burst out in laughter, as he spun her around the room, joy in every step. He pulled back enough to stare into her eyes, breath coming in tight huffs from the tense emotions of the room. She lurched forward pressing her lips against his, moaning when he kissed her just as fiercely. Promises forgotten. He lowered her feet to the ground, never breaking their kiss. One of his hands, buried itself in her hair, tugged the tie loose and freed the wild mane. The other pressed into her lower back, bringing them as close together as possible deepening the kiss. She decided she'd rather die wrapped in his arms, than give up the warmth. Teagan pulled away first, his bottom lip turning red from where she had sucked on it.

"I've missed you terribly." His words were heavy, keeping his hold on her tight. She could feel his fear; she had the same. She knew to continue as they were, would lead them both to an unhappy end, but neither wanted to save themselves.

"And I you." He let out a breath at her response, relief returning to his face.

"I was worried... you'd..." He swallowed, kissing the side of her head. "You could do so much better than I." She snorted, pressing her fingers into his waist, loving the muscle around his middle.

"It's always been you Teagan." It was his turn to laugh, one filled with disbelief and hope in equal measure. She sighed, closing her eyes and just feeling the sound vibrating in his chest and shaking her head. "It always will be." She looked up at him, smiling at the joy reflecting back at her.

"You will allow me to court you, my love?" His words were warm and held meaning she didn't understand. She didn't want to ask, afraid of getting her hopes destroyed again. She'd live in this moment forever if she had to; their arms wrapped around each other.

"I love you." She whispered as she nodded her head to his question. She couldn't voice the response, without her voice shaking she was certain.

"Good. Good." His own voice was firm and alive, returning her gaze with his own love. She suddenly realized that, if this love was destined to swallow her whole, she'd gladly drown.

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